Ash followed me to All Things Fish so that I could drop off my truck and paperwork. He looked around the retail area while I talked to Tori and finished up. I was tempted to introduce them, but I was still nervous and lost in my own thoughts, and it resulted in me being a little quieter than usual. Tori asked me if everything was okay, and I assured her I was fine.
Ash offered to give me a ride to the park, but I told him I would drive since it was a little out of the way to come back to the store afterward. He followed me over there, me driving my little Subaru hatchback, and him following behind me in his blacked-out, full size SUV. I figured he must need it to transport his cello and I wondered if the orchestra had provided it for him or if it was his.
Sidney and her teacher's aide, Michelle, had five students with them. Michelle doubled as an RN, which was necessary, since a few of the students had medical issues. There were eight in her class, but a few seemed to be missing today.
"Guy's in the wheelchair," I said as we walked toward them. Guy had long hair with dreadlocks and wore a perpetual smile that was contagious "And that's Matt with the letterman's jacket," I added.
It was way too hot for a letterman's jacket, but he had lettered in basketball and football the year before (as one of the managers), and he wore that jacket everywhere he went. Matt had severe diabetes and other health issues, so Michelle was constantly checking his blood sugar. Guy and Matt were two of my favorites, which was why I told Ash their names ahead of time.
"Matt ate too much," Hanna said, telling on her classmate as we walked up.
They were under a pavilion. Some were sitting at the picnic table, and others were standing next to it. It seemed like they were just wrapping up lunch. I took a second to quickly introduce them all.
"And Matt ate way too much," Hanna repeated. "He ate Ellie's gummies and Guy's chips, too."
"I didn't," Matt said, shaking his head with a huge, shy smile. He lifted his hand, showing (with his forefinger and thumb) the space of about an inch. "I just ate a lil' bit."
"I don't know if it was a little bit," Sidney said, lightheartedly teasing him.
The subject of Matt's food intake was something that was constantly discussed in their classroom. He absolutely loved food, but they were continually having to monitor what he ate and how much because of his diabetes.
Sidney stepped forward to shake Ash's hand as we came to stand near them.
"Ash, this is my friend Sidney," I said.
"Did you bring fish food?" David asked.
"I did," I answered, looking at him as Ash shook Sidney's hand. She introduced him to Michelle who also shook his hand.
"Do you work at a bank?" Hanna asked, looking Ash over.
He smiled as he stared down at his own clothes. "No, but I'm dressed for it, aren't I?"
"Yeah," Hannah said. "My uncle works at a bank, and he wears that shirt all the time."
Ellie stood up and tapped me on the shoulder. "David said 'God is good, God is great, thank you for the food we just ate.' But we didn’t eat it yet."
I looked around at all the empty Ziplocs and lunch bags.
"Well, now we've eaten," Sidney clarified. "But he prayed that before we ate, didn't he?"
"Yeah," Ellie said, laughing. David laughed, too, and so did most of the others.
"I say prayers before I eat and before I go to bed," Ellie said. "But I never say that one."
"You sound like my mom," David said. "She prays all the time."
"Your mama prays all the time, David?" Sidney asked.
David nodded seriously. "Do you?" he asked, looking at Sidney.
"Probably not enough," she said.
"Do you?" David asked, looking at me.
"Me?" I asked, putting a hand to my chest. "Do I pray?"
He nodded, waiting for my answer. This wasn't a typical conversation for us. But, then again, nothing was ever really typical with Sidney's class. We had never discussed praying before, but at the same time, it didn't surprise me.
"Yes, I do," I said. "I happen to pray a lot."
"Like my mom," David said.
"What do you say?" Guy asked. He had a little trouble with speech, so it took me a second to realize what he was asking.
"What kind of prayer, you mean?" I asked.
Guy nodded.
"I pray when I wake up and before I eat, and then again before bed," I said.
"What do you say?" Ellie asked.
I glanced at Ash, but he smiled at me as if he, too, was interested.
"Well, before I eat, I say things about how thankful I am for my food and all my blessings, and I ask God to bless my meal so that it keeps me healthy and strong."
Matt flexed his muscles, and we all laughed.
"What about when you wake up?" Ellie asked. "And when you go to bed."
I thought Sidney might step in and stop me from answering, but she didn't. "I say a lot of things," I said. "I thank God for things like my house and my job, and I ask Him for things like health and happiness and money and food. I pray for other people, too," I said.
"My mom does that," David said, nodding. "She prays for my brother all the time because he's in jail."
"I didn't know your brother was in jail, David," I said. "I'll have to pray for him, too."
"Where'd you learn how?" Matt asked, looking at me.
"The Bible," I said. "I wasn't always good at it, though. In fact, I spent a lot of years not talking to God at all."
"I don't talk to God at all," Hanna said. "And neither does my mom."
"I didn't either, for a long time," I said. "But I'm glad I started. I feel happier now that I do."
"Who taught you?" Matt asked again.
"The Bible," I said. "In the Bible, there's this part where the disciples ask Jesus how to pray, and He teaches them. He says a simple prayer. You might have heard it. It's called the Lord's prayer."
"I heard it," David said.
"I heard it, too," Ellie added.
I shrugged. "When I decided I wanted to learn how to pray, I just memorized that prayer. I said it first thing in the morning, when I woke up, and last thing at night, before I fell asleep. Sometimes, I would say it two or three times in a row, maybe more, and just think about all the words and what they meant. I would contemplate every line, and ask for those words to be true in my life. Eventually, I started adding things to it, and my prayers got longer, but I do still say that prayer a lot. I think it's a beautiful thing to say, and it makes my heart feel happy. It's in the book of Matthew, like you Matt."
Matt nodded proudly.
"That's not how I do it," Ellie said. "But I'm gonna try that way when I get home."
"Yeah, me too," Matt added. "After I eat a snack."
"I think I might have to try it, too," Sidney said, smiling and patting Matt on the back and keeping us on track by beginning to usher us over to the fishpond as we talked.
"My mom already knows how to say that prayer," David said. "I heard her say it before. If I want to learn, I'll just ask her."
"Ms. Abigail just told us how," Ellie said, scolding him a little.
"Yeah, but my mom knows, too," David replied, squinting at her.
We walked as a group toward the pond. Ellie walked right next to me and held my hand, as usual.
"I had to wash my hair three times last night," Hanna said.
"Three times?" Sidney asked. "You must have been really dirty."
"No, my mom made me do it because I was acting a clown again."
"You probably didn't get it all the way clean the first two times, if you were acting a clown," Sidney said.
"Yeah," Hanna agreed.
"Fish wash their hair all day," Matt said, cracking himself up and causing us all to laugh.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" Hanna asked. She was walking next to Ash, and I knew she was talking to him, but she didn't look at him, so I wasn't sure if he would respond.
"I told you, Shay's my girlfriend," David said.
"I wasn't talking to you, David," Hanna said. "I was asking him." She glanced at Ash.
"That's Ms. Abigail's boyfriend," Matt said.
"Is he?" Ellie asked, tugging on my hand.
"No, no, Ash and I are just friends," I said.
"Ash Ketchum," Guy said. "Gotta catch 'em all, Pokémon!" He sang that last part, swaying in his wheelchair as he belted out the tune.
"What'd he say?" Sidney asked.
"He said 'Ash Ketchum'," David explained. "Then he sang the Pokémon song."
I glanced at Guy who was nodding and grinning from ear to ear.
"I've never heard that song," Sidney said. "That's why I had no idea. Is Ash Ketchum a character on Pokémon or something?"
"He's a trainer," David said.
We had reached the fishpond by that point, so everyone gathered around, getting a front row spot at the edge. Some remained standing while others took a seat on the concrete ledge. The fish were accustomed to being fed, so they all swam toward the side of the pond when they saw our shadows. I had a small bag of food in my backpack, and I took it out with the intention of giving each of them a handful.
"You don't have to use it all at once," I reminded them as I began to pass out the food.
Hanna and David both instantly tossed their food into the pond, laughing with delight as the fish swam back and scrambled to eat. They always did that, and Ellie always got onto them for it.
"Hanna and David used theirs up already!" Ellie said, shaking her head as she looked at me.
"I know," I said. "They probably just want to watch you guys the rest of the time."
"I'll have some more," Hanna said with her hand out.
"You can't," Sidney said. "You already used yours, and Ms. Abigail only brings enough for us to each have one turn. She told you to use it slow."
"But I already threw it," Hanna said.
"I know," Sidney said. "I saw you. Maybe next time, you'll make it last longer."
Hanna nodded, looking disgruntled. Ash was standing at the end of the line, and we gave each other knowing smiles. I couldn't tell exactly what he was thinking, but I knew he was having fun.
"They're hungry enough to bite my fingers off!" Matt exclaimed, cringing but still smiling as he fed the fish. It was a statement he made just about every time we did this. Ash had no way of knowing that, but he still smiled at me.
I didn't have very much food left, but I dug in the corner of the bag and came up with about half a handful, which I held out for Ash. He carefully took it from me, using both of his hands to make the transfer even though that was totally unnecessary. His strong hands wrapped around mine tenderly, and it caused a fluttering sensation in my chest. It was not just a matter of transferring fish food. He let his hands linger on mine far too long for that.
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday, dear fishies,
Happy birthday to you.
My eyes widened just slightly as I gave Ash a conspiratorial look. Hanna often busted out in song. She sang low and slow with a ton of vibrato, like a baritone opera singer. She always sang the classics like Happy Birthday or You Are My Sunshine, and they were always in that low, breathy voice.
"Hanna's a singer," Sidney said, informing Ash.
"I hear that," he said. "It sounded beautiful."
"Take me out to the ballgame," she sang with extra drama, obviously thrilled with the compliment.
Take me out to the crowd.
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks,
I don't care if I ever get back.
And it's root, root, root for the Marrr-lins,
If they don't win it's a shame,
And it's one, two, three-four, strikes you're out,
At the old ball game!
We all clapped for Hanna, who took a bow.
"You gave him four strikes!" Sidney said, laughing and nudging Hanna who nodded, looking pleased with herself.
"That was a real treat," Ash said. "That makes me want to watch a baseball game."
"You can," Hannah said, nodding seriously. "The Miami Marlins play every day and they come on the TV, or you can go to the stadium. I went to the stadium before."
"May I tip you for the song by giving you this fish food?" Ash asked.
Hanna looked at Sidney who nodded. Then Hanna held out her hand with a smile. Ash gave Hanna most of the food that was in his hand, reserving a little for David who was intently watching the whole exchange.
Hannah and David both went to the edge of the pond and promptly threw the entire handful with no hesitation. The others were still working on feeding the fish one pellet at a time, laughing as the fish came out to eat out of their hands.
Ash stood next to me as we watched them. He was about to say something to me when Ellie stood, dusted off her hands, and turned, taking Ash into her arms. She latched onto his side like a monkey with her head buried on his chest, closing her eyes and luxuriating in the embrace. She didn't say anything. She just hugged him. She would often hold my hand or give me a little hug before I left, but she had never just outright held onto me like that. I lifted my eyebrows and smiled at Ash who returned the smile.
"Ellie, are you giving Mister Ash a hug?" Sidney asked when she turned and noticed them.
Ellie didn't answer; she simply smiled contentedly as she held onto him.