CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Shortly after Peter left, Hailey heard Gran sobbing in her bedroom. She knocked on the door, “Gran?”

“Come in,” came the shaky voice.

Hailey took two strides to Gran’s bed and sat next to her.

“I keep thinking that if only I’d checked on him sooner. Or stayed there next to him. Maybe he’d still be here.”

“You can’t blame yourself.” Hailey desperately wanted to take the anguish from Gran, but she knew she couldn’t.

“I’m not ready to let him go. I’m not ready for it to be all over.” Gran gazed past Hailey. “It seems like yesterday that I met him. He was such a handsome fella with his dark hair and big muscles. We fell in love deeply and passionately. Before I knew it, we were married and had your daddy and Regina. All-around American family—that was us. We were so happy.” Gran smiled, lost in her memories. “Seems like I went to bed one night with my kids underfoot and woke up the next morning to an empty nest.” She let out a long breath. “Of course, we had our ups and downs, but Harry, he was always there. My rock, that man.” Her voice was filled with emotion. “When we lost your daddy,” she paused, “that was a hard one. But your grandpa, he held me together, so we could be there for you girls and your Momma.”

“I remember.” Memories of the days and weeks after her father’s death were inseparably connected to memories of her grandparents showering her and Brit with plenty of love and attention.

“He wasn’t perfect—nobody is—but he was mine.” Gran’s lip quivered.

“And he loved you.” Hailey took Gran’s hand in hers, trying not to succumb to crying herself. “He loved all of us.”

“Now he’s gone and left me a widow. And your daddy’s gone.” She wiped at her puffy eyes. “I still have Regina, I suppose, but she doesn’t want much to do with me.” Gran cast her gaze downward.

“You have me.” Hailey rubbed Gran’s back.

“Gran patted her hand. “You’re so sweet, but you have your own life. You’ve already done so much, and you need to get back to your career.”

Gran was right, Hailey did need to return home for her job. She couldn’t simply walk away from a career she’d worked so hard to procure, but how could she leave Gran like this? Her life, and her mom and sister, were in Colorado, yet Gran needed her more now than ever. An idea came to mind. “What if you came back to Colorado and lived with me? You’d be close to Mom and Brit. I’d love to have you live with me.”

“That’s a generous offer, but you don’t need an old lady cramping your style.”

Hailey had to laugh. “Cramp my style? I don’t think I have a style for you to cramp.”

“You know what I mean.” Gran nodded. “You’re young and vibrant and need to live your life without worrying about me.”

“I can’t leave you here,” Hailey insisted.

“Let’s not talk about this right now, it’s too much.” Gran rubbed her eyes. “I do need your help with something.”

“Anything.”

“Regina needs to know that he’s passed, but I don’t know how to find her.” Gran lifted her hands in exasperation. “She leaves with no way to contact her.”

“I’m sure she’d want to be here.” At a time like this, family needed to bond together and support each other.

Gran let out a woeful breath.

“I’ll see if I can find her somehow.” Hailey had no idea how she might do that, but she wanted to offer Gran some hope.

Gran reached over and grasped Hailey’s hand tightly. “If this had to happen, I’m so grateful it was when you were here. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Thank you!”

“You need to get some more rest.” She squeezed Gran’s arm. “I’ll take care of everything. Okay?”

Gran nodded.

Hailey left the bedroom and sank down on the couch in the living room. She didn’t even know where to begin, but she had to figure it out, so Gran wouldn’t have to deal with all the details.

In all the chaos of the night, and then the late hour, Hailey had neglected to call her mom. She probably should’ve called her right away, but she’d been so focused on Gran. Besides, she was a mess herself and needed Peter to just hold her. Pulling out her phone, Hailey tapped the screen to call her mom.

“Hi, honey.” Her mom sounded sleepy.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” Two-hour time difference, remember?

“It’s fine. How are you?” Her mom yawned.

“Not good.”

“Oh no.” Her mom perked up. “Has something happened?”

Tears trickled down Hailey’s cheeks. “Gramps passed away last night.”

Her mom gasped. “Oh, dear. I’m so sorry to hear that.”

“I wanted to call you,” Hailey said, feeling guilty she hadn’t. “But it was so late and—”

“Don’t worry at all about that. How is June?” She could hear the concern in her mom’s voice.

“Heartbroken. We didn’t expect this at all.” The shock still covered her like a lead blanket.

“I thought he was recovering.”

“We did too.” That was supposed to be what happened—Gramps recovered and Hailey went home.

“I’ll book a flight as soon as I can.”

“Mom, I have no idea what to do to get started.” Turmoil set in. “I told Gran I’d take care of it, but I’m lost.” She didn’t want to adult today. Adulting was vastly overrated at times.

“First, call the mortuary. You’ll need to make some decisions. June needs to decide where to have the funeral.”

“I can’t ask her that.” Hailey bit her quivering lip. “She’ll be too sad.”

“It’s difficult to make decisions right now, but someone needs to make them. Maybe you can give her some choices.” For the first time, it struck Hailey with a jagged pain that her own mom had to go through all of this years ago, and her heart swelled with love and compassion for her mom.

“I just can’t believe Gramps is gone.” Hailey still couldn’t wrap her mind around it.

“I’m thankful you were there for the last month.”

“Me too. I am so, so glad I came when I did.” So glad. What if she hadn’t stood up to Mr. Michaels? What if she’d stayed in Colorado and missed out on this time with Gramps? Tears filled her eyes and fell down her cheeks as she realized how fragile life is and how easily she could’ve missed out on the last days of Gramps’s life in favor of her career—a career she loved, but one that hasn’t filled all the empty places. Family is the most important and should come first.

“Let me know what to do to help.”

“I will. Thanks, Mom.”

Hailey ended the call. She found Gran’s address book and proceeded to make the difficult calls to Gran’s sister, Mary, some cousins, and a few family friends to let them know.

She made an appointment at the mortuary and started thinking about what to do for the funeral. The grief and exhaustion overcame her so she lay down on the couch. The next thing she knew, two hours had passed. She heard some commotion in the kitchen.

“Gran?” Hailey walked in. Gran stood at the sink.

“I’m making something to eat. I’m thinking macaroni and cheese.”

Hailey massaged the kink in her neck. “You don’t need to cook anything.”

“I can’t lay in my bed and cry anymore. I need to do something.” Gran opened and shut some cupboards as if searching for something.

“We could go out to eat,” Hailey offered.

“I’m not sure I’m ready for that.” Gran grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. “Besides, I’m not hungry.”

“Why don’t you come sit down?” Hailey motioned toward the sofa.

“I suppose we need to talk about the service, don’t we?” Gran rubbed her eyes and then followed Hailey to the couch and sat down.

“I made an appointment at the mortuary. It’s at four o’clock. Today.”

Gran covered her mouth and rocked back and forth.

“I can go over and take care of everything. You don’t need to worry about any of the details.” Hailey didn’t want Gran to feel any more pain than she already was.

Shaking her head, Gran said, “No, I’ll go. I need to do this.”

***

Hailey and Gran arrived at the large white building with pillars. Hailey parked the car and they took the long, agonizing walk to the entryway.

This is real. We are planning a funeral for Gramps. A tear edged down Hailey’s cheek.

Inside, a short, bald man in a dark suit, said quietly, “Are you the Baker family?”

Hailey nodded. “This is my grandmother, June.”

“My name is John Williamson. May I extend my deepest condolences? I’m so sorry to hear of his passing.” He shook their hands.

“Thank you,” Hailey said, noticing the cold, detached feeling inside the building.

“Please follow me.” He led them into a small room with a desk and two large chairs. “Please sit down. We can get started when you’re ready.”

Gran drew in a deep breath. “Harry didn’t like a big fuss. I think something simple at the church a few streets over from where we live would be nice. It’s the Living Light Church.”

“Do you have a preference for the time?” he said with a soft, respectful tone.

“Morning.”

They continued to make plans and decisions, including picking out a casket. It left Hailey with a deep ache in her chest. She’d been too young to participate in much of this when her father passed away. She’d had no idea how emotionally draining and physically exhausting it was to make final arrangements for a loved one. Her mom had to do this for her dad, as did her grandparents. Now Gran was doing it again for Gramps. It was almost too much.

“I think I have everything.” Mr. Williamson wrote a few more notes. “I’ll see if we can get it all arranged for Friday morning.”

Gran gave a quick nod, then stood. “Thank you for your help.”

“You’re welcome. Again, my sympathies for your loss,” he said with kindness.

Hailey and Gran left the mortuary and made the drive back to the house without saying much.

When they got home, Hailey said, “Can I get you anything?”

“No. I think I need to rest.” Gran trudged down the hall to her room.

Hailey began cleaning up in the kitchen. Her stomach growled, reminding her she hadn’t eaten anything all day. She stared at the open cupboard, but nothing looked appetizing.

A knock sounded, so Hailey walked over to the front door and opened it. Peter stood on the front porch, his eyes full of compassion. Just seeing him gave her a sense of serenity. She wanted to throw her arms around his neck and lose herself in his embrace, but she resisted the urge. “Come in.”

He had a couple of bags in his hands. “I brought some Chinese from a place down the road. I hope it helps.”

“I was about to make something to eat, but this is much better. Thank you.” Hailey took the bags from him. “Gran went back to her room, but I’m starving.”

“Glad I could help.”

“And you’ll join me?” she said. The bags obviously held plenty of food, and she had no desire to eat by herself.

“If that’s all right.”

Hailey grabbed some dishes and utensils, and they sat at the small kitchen table. After she said grace, Hailey dished out some rice, sweet and sour pork, and an eggroll. She picked up her fork.

Peter gave her a distressed look.

“What?” Did she have something on her face or, worse, in her nose?

“Chopsticks.” He handed her a package.

“Oh,” she said with relief. She unwrapped them and tried to corner some rice. Using chopsticks made Hailey feel like she had three thumbs. How the Chinese could ever get any food into their mouths with these oversize toothpicks was beyond her.

Peter started laughing. “I have never seen anyone who was so bad at using chopsticks. Ever.” He reached over and brushed some rice from her chin.

“I have no idea what the allure is to using these things.” She set them down and picked up her fork. “This is how I eat Chinese food.” She stabbed a chunk of pork and shoved it in her mouth, the sweet and tangy sauce perking up her taste buds.

Peter took a bite, then said, “How is June doing?”

“I think she’s still in shock. We went to the mortuary and made plans for the service. We even picked out the casket.” The bitter words tripped on her tongue.

Peter laid his warm hand on hers. “I’m sorry. Can I do anything to help?”

“Being here with me helps.” Her gaze locked on his and suddenly her lungs squeezed tight, like they were unable to take in enough air.

After they finished eating, Hailey walked down to Gran’s door. “Peter brought us some Chinese food. Would you like some?”

“No, thank you.”

Hailey slowly opened the door. “You need to eat something.”

“I’m not hungry.” Gran looked at her with red-rimmed eyes. “I’ll be fine. I need some time to adjust, that’s all.”

Hailey didn’t want to leave Gran in her room to deal with all the sadness alone, but she didn’t want to dictate how Gran mourned for Gramps either, so she simply said, “Let me know if you need anything.”

“I will.” Her voice sounded so small—almost childlike—that it made Hailey’s throat thicken.

Hailey shut the door and went back into the living room where Peter was sitting on the couch.

“She doesn’t want to eat anything,” Hailey said, worrying that Gran needed nourishment.

“It’s probably a good idea to let her rest.” Peter said it with assurance.

Hailey sat on the couch next to him. When he put his arm around her, she snuggled close, breathing in his musky scent. They didn’t say anything for several minutes. She reveled in the security that emanated from him and beckoned her to relax. She’d never experienced this with anyone.

Peter ran his fingers through her hair, sending tingles down her spine. Hailey didn’t want to be anywhere but right where she was. Part of her knew it was going to end. It had to. But for this moment, she only wanted to feel his arms around her and drink in every drop of him.

The doorknob jiggled, and then the door flung open. Hailey jumped to her feet. “Regina?”

“Yeah. I’m back.” She tossed her keychain on the small table by the door. “Things didn’t pan out the way I’d hoped.” She looked from Hailey to Peter and then back to Hailey. “Did I interrupt?” She laughed.

“I need to tell you—”

“Where’s Momma? And Daddy? You run ‘em out or somethin’?” Regina kicked off her boots.

Hailey resisted the impulse to choke her rude aunt. “Actually, something has happened.”

Regina flopped on the couch and Hailey was sure it would’ve groaned if it could have. “Oh yeah? What?”

Hailey cleared her throat. “It’s Gramps.”

“Go on.” Regina crossed her arms in front of her ample chest.

“He passed away.” Hailey hated those prickly words.

“What?” Regina shrieked.

“They think it was a heart attack. Or maybe another stroke.”

Regina thrust herself forward and perched on the edge of the couch. “Daddy’s gone?”

Hailey nodded.

“But I . . . he was . . . how?”

“We’re all in shock.” Hailey wanted to give her aunt the benefit of a doubt. Maybe they’d all be able to help each other heal and possibly patch up previous wounds. Maybe.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Regina narrowed her eyes. “Were you gonna keep it from me?”

“Of course not.” How dare she accuse me of trying to keep this from her.

Regina stuck her hands on her hips and with a defiant tone said, “Then why didn’t I know?”

Hailey sucked in a deep breath of patience, reminding herself that Gran was down the hall and didn’t need a big scene in her living room. As calmly as possible she said, “I didn’t have any contact information for you. You left without telling anyone where you were going, and you don’t have a cell phone.”

“You’re right I don’t have one. They give you brain cancer.”

Refusing to mock her aunt’s tin-hat mentality, Hailey asked, “Then how would I have reached you?”

“I don’t know, but somehow. Now I come home to find that my daddy’s dead. Where’s Momma?” Regina demanded.

“In her bedroom.”

Regina stood. “I’m going to talk to her.”

Hailey held out her hands, trying to appeal to her aunt. “She may be sleeping.”

Completely ignoring Hailey, Regina ambled down the hallway.

Hailey looked at Peter. He must think Regina is a total mental case. “I’m so sorry. My aunt is . . .”

“Upset,” Peter said.

“That’s a nice way of putting it.” Leave it to Peter to think of a kind way to say Regina is a lunatic.

“I should probably get going,” he said with a hesitant tone.

As much as Hailey didn’t want him to leave, she had to agree that with Hurricane Regina blowing through the house, it was the best idea. “Thank you so much for bringing dinner. You are very thoughtful.” And sweet. And kind. And wonderful.

“It’s the least I could do.” He said it in such an endearing way, it made Hailey’s heart melt.

She walked with him outside and stood by his car. The sun was descending in the west, coloring the wispy clouds with pinks and oranges.

“Please call me if you need anything,” he said.

What I need is you. “I will. Thank you.”

Peter lingered at his car, as if he wanted to say or do something. He turned to Hailey and in one swift movement, brought her close to him. Her heartbeat began pounding in her ears as his lips brushed hers. In an instant, their lips began a delicate dance—giving and taking in perfect rhythm and balance. This man knew how to kiss, so much so, it left Hailey feeling intoxicated.

Breathless, Peter pulled away. “I need to go. If I don’t leave now, I might not leave at all.”

Would that be so bad? Hailey took an unsteady step back. “I’ll see you soon?”

Peter smiled and then got into his car.

Hailey walked back to Gran’s house with a mixture of emotions churning inside her. She wasn’t prepared for another heartbreak, which might be right where she was headed, but she was powerless to stop herself from falling for Peter. It was too late to protect her heart. Much too late.

As she neared the house, the intense anguish of losing Gramps hit her with full force. I can’t believe he’s gone. No more card games. No more tall tales. No more hugs. And we still have the service to get through. A lump the size of a boulder formed in her throat. At least Mom will be here soon. It’ll be better when she arrives.

And then there was her aunt. Regina, Regina, Regina. What would Hailey do with her? Strangling her probably wasn’t the best idea, but it brought a smile.

Hailey stepped inside the house. Gran and Regina were in the living room on the couch.

“I can live here with you, Momma.” Regina’s voice grated like the proverbial fingernails on the chalkboard.

“I don’t know, Regina.” Gran sounded so tired and overwrought.

Regina blinked several times as if surprised by Gran’s reply. “Why not?”

Hailey wanted to give her an answer, but clamped her mouth shut instead.

“Would you like some lemonade, dear?” Gran asked Hailey. “There’s some in the fridge.”

“Sure. I’d love some.” Gran made the best lemonade—not too sweet, not too tart. Hailey poured a glass, then sat next to Gran on the couch.

“My sister called. She isn’t doing so well.” Worry lines creased Gran’s forehead.

“Oh, no. I’m sorry to hear that. Aunt Mary is so sweet,” Hailey said, remembering visits through the years. “And she makes the most delicious chocolate cake.”

“She won’t be able to come for the service.” Gran’s mouth turned down.

Hailey slung her arm around Gran, hoping to buoy her up with love and support. “We need to go over some details.”

“Yeah, I wanna know about the funeral,” Regina said. “Can I say something?”

“You mean like the eulogy?” Hailey asked. She envisioned Regina standing up and tripping all over her words as she muttered nonsense about Gramps.

Regina jerked her chin. “I’m not sure what that is, but I wanna say something about Daddy.”

Hailey looked at Gran, who shrugged one shoulder as if defeated.

“I’m sure we can work something out,” Hailey said, trying to keep the peace.

“Who put you in charge anyway?” Regina demanded.

“Would you like to be in charge?” Hailey asked. She already knew the answer.

Regina sat back against the couch. “Oh. Uh. No.”

Then keep your mouth shut. Hailey would sure like to tell her aunt where to go. “Then I’ll work on the program.”

“But it’ll be simple,” Gran said.

“Yes.” Hailey turned to Gran. “Simple and no fuss, like Gramps.”

That night, Hailey lay in bed. Her heart still ached, but if she kept busy it didn’t seem to consume her as it had at first. The more she could help, the better. It’d keep her mind off the loss.

She turned to her side. What about Peter? That was the million-dollar question. Hailey rolled onto her back, too many thoughts colliding in her mind. What am I going to do?

One part of her wanted to tell him how much he meant to her, but the other part wondered what the point would be in doing that. An undeniable connection existed between them, but, in the end, did it matter? Next week, she was supposed to leave. At least that’s what she’d promised her boss—to return before the next quarter. Hailey reminded herself to contact Mr. Michaels and beg for an extension to help Gran transition to life without Gramps. If her boss felt magnanimous he might grant her one, but that was a very big if. And it would still be only temporary—not indefinite—if she wanted to keep her job. So, where did that leave her and Peter? When she left, whatever there’d been with Peter would come to a screeching halt. Right?

***

Peter tossed and turned. He kicked his blanket off, then plumped up his pillow under his head. He let out a long, audible breath as he stared at the ceiling. He’d finally met a woman he could possibly see a future with. A woman who made him feel alive again. A woman who made him forget how his heart had been shattered. A woman who . . . did it matter? Her life was almost two thousand miles away, and the reality was she’d be returning to that life.

It had been foolish to let himself become attached when he knew better. Seeing Hailey again would only make it harder to let her leave. He didn’t need to become any more attached to her than he already was. He needed to cut his losses and put her out of his mind and heart. It was the only solution, and that’s exactly what he intended to do.

He’d forget about her. He’d forget her laugh. Her silky hair and soft skin. He’d forget the times he’d lost himself in the depths of her blue eyes. He’d forget the cadence of her voice and the way she blushed so easily. And he’d definitely forget holding her in his arms. Kissing her. Yearning to be with her all the time. He’d erase everything from his memory and push the reset button. No problem.

Peter laughed out loud at the lunacy. Forget Hailey? As if that were at all possible. His heartstrings were far too tangled with hers.