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Speak to My Heart by Rebecca Talley (32)

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

Peter awoke after a fitful sleep. Today is Harry’s funeral. He stared at the ceiling fan, listening to the whirring sound it made.

He wasn’t planning to go. He soothed his conscience by reminding himself that he hadn’t attended other funerals. It wasn’t in his job description, and he shouldn’t feel obligated. Harry was a patient. That was all.

Peter sat up in bed and massaged the knot in his shoulder. He couldn’t go to the service because he had to get caught up on paperwork. He needed to do that. It was important to keep current on all the paperwork. Because there was a lot. A lot of paperwork.

He lay back down and kicked off his covers. Who was he kidding? He wanted to go to the funeral. He wanted to pay his respects to a man he’d come to care about. Even more, he wanted to see Hailey. He needed to see her. Even if it meant heartache when he had to tell her goodbye.

***

The day she’d been dreading arrived. Hailey picked herself out of bed, showered, and put on the new navy-blue dress Gran had bought her. She checked her phone. Her mother’s late-night flight had been cancelled and she was on an early flight this morning. Hailey hoped her mom would make it to the funeral.

Hailey hadn’t heard at all from Peter, which was odd, but she was too emotional today to try to figure out why. Besides, she needed to focus all her energy on supporting Gran through the service.

Hailey tried to apply some makeup, but her eyes were too tender. She brushed her hair and then walked out into the somber living room.

“I don’t know what to do with these.” Gran held Gramps’s glasses.

Tears sprang to Hailey’s eyes. She reached her arms around Gran and they both stood there, crying for a few minutes.

“I miss that old coot,” Gran finally said.

“Me too.”

Gran wiped at her face. “Are you ready?”

Hailey smoothed her hair. Was anyone ever ready for a funeral of a loved one?

Regina came down the hall wearing black pants and a cream-colored blouse. She’d brushed her hair and looked respectable. In fact, she looked good. “I’d like to go in the car with you.” She paused. “If that’s all right.”

Hailey didn’t want her unpleasant feelings toward Regina to interfere with paying tribute to Gramps. “Sure. We’d like it if you rode with us,” Hailey said, trying to cut her aunt some slack.

“Thank you,” Regina answered. She wasn’t the nicest person, and she’d done plenty to hurt everyone, including Hailey, over the years, but Regina was still family. She was blood. And Gramps wouldn’t want bickering today.

Hailey helped Gran into the car and they all drove over to the small, white church. No one said anything.

When Hailey parked the car, she turned to Gran. “Are you going to be okay?”

Gran nodded. “I survived your dad’s service. I will survive this one, too.”

Hailey marveled at her grandmother’s strength. “I’m right here with you.” She squeezed Gran’s hand.

“Me too,” Regina said from the back seat.

“Thank you,” Gran said. “I’m glad we can be together today to honor a life well lived. No one could ever accuse my Harry of not living life to the fullest. I want to celebrate that.”

They walked into the church. A sweet, potent, floral scent saturated the air while organ music floated in the background. Hailey spotted the smooth, black casket at the front of the chapel. A man with graying hair and gold-rimmed glasses approached them.

“Pastor Anderson, thank you so much for doing this service,” Gran said.

He smiled, exposing a chipped front tooth. “This must be your granddaughter.”

“Hi, I’m Hailey.”

“And this is my daughter, Regina,” Gran said.

“Nice to meet you,” Pastor Anderson said softly.

“Same,” Regina answered demurely, making Hailey do a double-take. Is this my aunt?

“I have a few details to go over with you, June. Can we go to my office?”

Gran left with the pastor, so Hailey and Regina sat together on the front pew. Hailey stared ahead, thoughts tumbling around her mind. Gramps, I wasn’t ready for you to leave. I still wanted to beat you at cards. She wiped at her eyes. Wherever you are, can you say hi to Dad? Envisioning Gramps and her dad together brought her a sense of tranquility and peace.

Someone made a noise, and Hailey turned. She jumped to her feet. “Uh, hi, Peter,” she said, her heart instantly reacting to his presence.

“How are you holding up?” His expression was a mixture of kindness and concern.

“All right, considering.” She tried not to notice how handsome he looked in his charcoal-gray suit.

“I wanted to pay my respects and—”

“Hailey?” came a familiar voice from behind her.

She whirled around. “Mom?”

“My plane was delayed.” She hugged Hailey and they stood there for several moments. “I came as soon as I could.”

Hailey nestled into her mom’s loving arms.

“I’m so glad I made it in time. I was so worried,” her mom said, dabbing at her eyes.

“Me too. Gran will be so happy to see you. How is Brit?” Hailey snuck a look over her shoulder but Peter was gone.

“She’s good. The baby is doing well, too, but Brit was sad she couldn’t come. She loved Grandpa Harry.” Her mom adjusted her black blazer.

“I’m so thankful I was here and got to spend some time with him before . . .”

“He loved you. Both he and June appreciated and enjoyed you being here.”

Regina stood. Hailey’s mom stepped over to her and gave her a hug. “I’m so sorry about your dad, Regina.”

“Thanks,” Regina said. “Daddy was a good one.”

“Indeed he was.” Hailey’s mom glanced around. “Where is June?”

“She’s talking to the pastor.” Hailey pointed toward the pastor’s office.

“Look at all these beautiful flowers. It’s like a garden in here.” Her mom checked her watch and then wiped her forehead. “The service begins in forty minutes. I’m so glad I made it.”

“I think everything is ready,” Hailey said, slyly searching the room for Peter but having no success in spotting him.

“After the service, I’d like to go over to June’s and spend some time with her.” Hailey’s mom smoothed her dark hair.

“I think she’d like that.” Hailey wished the reunion were under different circumstances, but she knew Gran would appreciate time with her daughter-in-law.

With her brows drawn together her mom said, “You seem distracted, Hailey.”

“Mom, I’m sad.” It was true. She was sad. But she was also distracted by a tall blond man who seemed to have disappeared.

“All right. I’m going to find the restroom and freshen up a bit. My flight was long.”

Her mom left and a few people wandered into the chapel and made their way over to her. They expressed their condolences. Another group of older people followed and soon the room filled up.

When Gran entered the chapel, everyone stood. Hailey sat next to her and grasped her hand. She resisted the urge to scan the room again for Peter.

The service was lovely, and Hailey found herself alternating between crying and laughing at some of the stories the pastor shared about Gramps.

When Regina stood and made her way to the pulpit, Hailey tensed. I hope Regina doesn’t say anything weird.

“My daddy was a good, good man. Not a lot out there like him. I know.” Regina sniffled, then continued to praise her father and share a few of her own stories. Hailey let out a breath of relief when Regina finished and even saw her aunt in a slightly different light, maybe even with some measure of sympathy. After all, she’d lost her father and the last interactions between Regina and Gramps hadn’t been great. Regina must be feeling pretty low.

Afterward, Hailey stood next to Gran as people approached her and expressed their condolences. Regina stood off from the group, grief etched on her face. Hailey vowed to always let the people she loved know she loved them, because life was too unpredictable and too short.

Without warning, her thoughts turned to Peter. She cared about him a great deal, maybe even . . . loved him. Shouldn’t she take the risk and let him know how she felt? She drew in a long, deep breath, trying to decide what to do.

***

After the internment at the cemetery, Hailey walked with her mom and Gran over to her mom’s black rental sedan. Peter stood next to Gran’s car. Seeing him made Hailey’s stomach flip-flop. In her mind, she pictured him pulling her close, telling her he loved her, and begging her to stay here in Florida.

“Hailey,” her mom said, “I’d like to take June home and spend some time with her.”

“That would be nice,” Gran said. “We have some catching up to do. I hope you brought some pictures of my great-grandson.” Gran gave a slight smile. “The circle of life.”

“I’ll bring Regina back with me. Have you seen her?” Hailey glanced around.

“She was talking to the pastor,” her mom said. “We’ll see you back at the house.”

Hailey watched her mom and Gran pull away. She turned toward Peter, trying to calm the ripples of nerves that coursed through her body.

“It was a nice service,” Peter said. He plunged his hands into the pockets of his suit pants.

“Yes, it was.” Hailey reflected on the music and words of the service. Gramps would’ve been pleased with it.

Peter kicked a pebble with his foot. “I’m glad I came.”

“I’m glad you came too.” Hailey wanted to say more. She wanted to tell him how she felt and how much he meant to her, but fear paralyzed her tongue.

Peter took his hands out of his pockets. “I’m sorry I haven’t communicated with you.”

He stepped closer to her, and her lungs felt as if they were collapsing, leaving her struggling to breathe.

Peter peered at her and all she wanted to do was to throw her arms around his neck, melt into his embrace, and let him smother her with kisses. “When do you leave for Colorado?” he asked.

A light bulb went off. He hadn’t communicated with her because he figured she was going home. Whatever they’d had was great—even amazing—but now it was time to face the truth that it was over. He wasn’t going to sweep her into his arms or confess his love. He was going to say goodbye. She stepped back, her heart squeezing so tight she feared it would stop working altogether. She cleared her throat. “In a few days. Gran is going to stay with her sister in Oregon for a while.”

“And you have your life to get back to,” he quickly added.

She nodded. Unless you can convince me to stay.

“I hope that everything goes well for you,” he said.

“Thank you.” She pointed at him. “Same.”

He shifted his weight. “I’ve started looking at property for my own office.”

“That’s awesome. I know you’ll be successful.” She hoped all would go well for him. He deserved it, and she wanted him to be happy.

“Thanks.”

“Thank you for showing me Daytona Beach. Even under the circumstances, I’ve enjoyed my visit.” I especially enjoyed spending time with you. I wish . . .

Peter tapped his foot. “I guess I better get going. It was a nice service. I’m sure it would’ve made Harry happy.”

She forced a smile, even though her lips were quivering. This is it. This is goodbye. Her body ached to hold him. Her lips ached to kiss him. But she resisted. Kissing him would only make it harder to leave, and he wasn’t going to ask her to stay.

“Goodbye, Hailey.”

She tried to swallow the shards of glass lodged in her throat. “Bye.”

He walked away toward his car. Everything in her screamed to run after him and tell him how she yearned to have him part of her life, but it was no use. He’d made it clear that this was goodbye, so she hurried and let herself into Gran’s car. Otherwise, she’d turn to putty and fall apart there on the spot.

Hailey rolled the windows down and let the moist air blow through her hair on her drive back to Gran’s, convincing herself all along the way that Peter wasn’t the man for her. He obviously didn’t think so, either, or he would’ve said something. Disappointment welled up in her eyes.

When Hailey arrived at the house, her mom and Gran sat on the couch huddled together.

“Your mom is showing me photos on her phone. What a beautiful baby Thomas is.” Gran’s eyes glistened.

Hailey sat next to Gran and viewed the photos of her nephew with his head full of dark hair.

“How about I fix us some dinner?” Hailey’s mom said.

“I think there are a few casseroles in the fridge from some of Gran’s friends. And a chocolate cake,” Hailey said, trying to ignore the deep sense of loss that gnawed at her heart.

“My lands, we’ll never eat all of that,” Gran said. “Where’s Harry when I need him?”

Hailey cleared the emotion from her throat. “When will you go to Aunt Mary’s?”

“Monday, I think. I spoke to my neighbor, Raymond, and he offered to come check on the house and take care of things while I’m gone, but I still need to figure out my bills.”

“I can help you with that,” Hailey said.

“Thank you. I’d appreciate it. I have a plane reservation for Monday afternoon.”

“I’ll schedule my flight at the same time,” Hailey said. That would make it easier to not only go to the airport, but to leave Florida.

“So will I,” her mom added.

“Hailey?” Gran looked at her with an odd expression. “Where’s Regina?”

The blood rushed to Hailey’s cheeks. She stood. “Uh, oh.”

“Where is she?” her mom asked.

Hailey gave them a repentant smile. “I might have forgotten her at the cemetery.”

Gran covered her mouth, but Hailey could tell she was stifling a laugh.

“I don’t know how it happened. I guess I was . . . distracted.” She shrugged. “I’ll be back soon.”

Hailey drove to the cemetery, preparing herself for the onslaught of angry words from her aunt. What could she do, except apologize? I’m sorry Peter made me forget all about you. No, that wouldn’t work. She’d have to come up with a better apology.

As she entered Evergreen Cemetery, she spotted Regina over by Gramps’s plot. Hailey parked the car and got out, steeling herself against Regina’s tongue lashing.

Hailey approached and could see Regina’s head bowed low. After a few minutes of silence, Hailey said, “I’m so sorry I left you here, I—”

“Stop,” Regina said. She tilted her head back and looked up at the sky. “My daddy is gone.”

Hailey didn’t know what to say or do. She was afraid Regina might explode at her.

“I thought I had so much time. Time that I could use to make something of myself. Make up for my mistakes and make him proud.” She whimpered. “Instead, he died ashamed of me.”

“He wasn’t ashamed,” Hailey said softly.

“Why wouldn’t he be? I’ve got nothing to show for my life.” Regina looked at Hailey with bloodshot eyes. “I wasn’t always like this, you know. I had so many plans when I was young.”

“What happened?” Hailey was almost afraid to ask.

“I don’t know. Guess I got all mixed up in the wrong things when I was younger. And when your daddy died, I was so angry. I drank the pain away and lost myself. Then next thing I know, it’s all these years later and I’m still . . . lost.” Regina’s shoulders slumped.

Hailey wasn’t sure what to do. She’d never in a million years expected her aunt’s self-evaluation resulting in this confession.

“And I know I’ve been nasty to everyone. Momma, Daddy, and you.” Regina wiped at her reddened nose. “I don’t know what to do to make up for any of it. I don’t even think I can.” She sounded so broken. Hopeless.

“Why don’t you start by coming back to Gran’s with me?” It wouldn’t be easy, or fast, but this could be the beginning of Regina’s path.

Regina drew in a ragged breath.

“My mom is fixing dinner. And I know Gran wants to see you.” Hailey’s resentment from Regina’s nastiness through the years began to melt away—a little—as Hailey witnessed her aunt’s contrition and deep regret.

They started walking toward the car. Regina said, “I’ve made such a mess out of my life.”

“Today is as good a day as any to make changes.” Hailey wanted to offer her aunt some hope. Regina wasn’t a monster. She’d made mistakes, and, truthfully, she’d been rather horrible at times, but she was still family. And family needed to stick together. To help each other. To love one another, warts and all. Gramps would want them together.

Inside the car, they didn’t say anything, but Hailey’s mind was moving a million miles a minute. She’d expected her aunt to be an angry, raving lunatic. Instead, she found a defeated, dejected woman searching for redemption. Maybe, with enough time, Regina and Gran could find their way back to each other.

After they parked the car, Hailey led the way to the house. “We’re back,” she said as she opened the door.

“Regina?” Gran said, looking up from the couch.

In a few strides, Regina was at her mother’s side, tears streaming down her face. “I’m so sorry, Momma. For everything. I’m sorry for all the terrible things I’ve done. For the terrible daughter I’ve been.”

Gran wore a shocked expression. She reached out her arms and enfolded her daughter within them.

“I know apologizing won’t make up for what I’ve done, but I don’t want to lose you,” Regina said. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. Can you forgive me?”

Gran stroked her daughter’s head.

Hailey’s eyes misted. This is what Gran had been wishing would happen for years. Too bad it had taken Gramps’s death to bring about Regina’s turnaround, but at least there was hope they’d repair what had been damaged between them.

“Maybe we can both go to Mary’s in Oregon and spend some family time together?” Gran said with an encouraging tone.

Regina nodded. “I’d like that.”

“I’ll make a reservation so we can fly together.”

After dinner, they spent time visiting and sharing photos. Gran shared memories and Hailey listened intently, trying to soak up every moment with her grandmother. She wouldn’t allow herself to think about leaving yet, because it was too painful.