Chapter Nine
His knee continued to ache.
Yet Avery refused to give in to the pain.
The physical therapist had assured him that each agonizing minute of his therapy was worth it. His strength and agility were improving. And soon he’d be fit and able to return to the rodeo. But now that he had the chance to own his own ranch, the rodeo circuit paled in comparison.
He’d had a lot of time to think while working in the kitchen. He wasn’t as young as he used to be. And his body didn’t bounce back from injuries as quickly as it once did. But he still had to come up with the money necessary to buy the ranch. He had some ideas, but nothing definite yet.
And he was making progress with the kitchen. In fact, at this rate, he’d be done in no time. He continued cutting brown, tan, gold, and cream metallic colored tiles to make a backsplash for the kitchen.
Fixing up the house had all started when a water pipe in the main bathroom began to leak and he had to knock out part of the wall. The project had rapidly expanded to updating the entire bathroom. The more he’d remodeled, the more he found that he liked working with his hands.
And now there was just the kitchen to complete and the house would be fully updated. In fact, it was good enough to fetch a generous price if he were to put it on the market. Guilt slugged him in the gut. How could he even consider selling the family home? But the devil on his shoulder whispered in his ear that Jordan had a whole new life in the Air Force and Beth had never actually said that she wanted to return to Marietta to live.
Avery shook his head. It didn’t matter. He had no right to sell their parents’ home for his own gain. He dismissed the thought even though the guilt lingered on.
He started the saw to cut the next section of tiles when he thought he heard something. He paused the saw and waited. But he didn’t hear anything. He must have imagined it.
He restarted the saw and took his time cutting the tiles. He’d already learned the hard way how easy it was to mess them up and then have to go back to the hardware store to get more. And at this hour, the store was closed.
He focused his thoughts on the task at hand. One by one, the saw sliced through the colored glass, leaving behind a straight edge.
When he turned off the saw, there was knocking. This time he was certain he wasn’t imagining it. And it was coming from the back door. It must be Jillian. Avery set aside his saw and moved toward the door.
“Hi.” She sent him a hesitant smile. “I’m here to pick up Romeo.”
“Come in.” Avery stepped aside to let her pass.
“I’m really sorry he bothered you again.”
Avery closed the door. “I think Romeo has a crush on Marshmallow.”
“I don’t know if I’d call it a crush.” Jillian shifted the empty cat carrier from one hand to the other. “Can cats even have crushes?”
“Okay then, he’s hot for her.”
Jillian laughed. Her blue eyes lit up. They sparkled like sapphires. The breath hitched in his throat. There was something different about her this evening, but he couldn’t put his finger on the change. Had she always been this beautiful?
“I don’t think that’s the right term.” Jillian’s words cut through his troubled thoughts. “I think he likes her. And I think she likes him too, but she isn’t ready to admit it yet.”
“I wonder if this is the beginning of a routine. At least you’ll know where Romeo is when he escapes.” Avery thought that would please Jillian, but she continued to frown. “What’s wrong?”
“I just hate the thought of him crossing roads. It’s so hard to see a black cat at night.”
“He’ll be fine.”
“Says the man who almost ran him over.”
Her words wounded Avery. Surely she knew how much he loved animals. “Hey, I wasn’t even close.”
Jillian’s eyes widened. “How would you know? Remember, you never saw him?”
She did have a point, but he wanted to believe he hadn’t been that close. The thought of hurting an innocent animal was quite upsetting.
“I see you’re working on the kitchen.” She glanced around. “It looks really nice. I like the green paint with the white trim. Are you replacing the appliances?”
He nodded. “I ordered them before my accident, when I thought my career was on the way up.”
“It still can be. You just have to give your body time to heal. Speaking of which, I doubt you’re supposed to be on your feet all day.”
“I’m not one of the twins. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“If I don’t, who will?” Jillian paused as though just now comprehending what she’d said. “Unless, of course, you’re seeing someone.”
He wasn’t, but she was obviously involved with someone. “The only female in my life aside from Beth is Marshmallow. And she doesn’t give me any grief unless I forget to feed her on time.”
“Sounds about right.” Jillian glanced around some more. “Are you almost finished?”
“I’m getting there.”
“Are you installing recessed lighting beneath the cabinets?”
“Already installed.” He walked over to the counter and flipped a switch. The new granite countertops were illuminated.
“Wow. Very nice.”
As much as he hated to admit it, her compliment meant a lot to him. But it still rankled him that she was involved in a romantic relationship. He wished she’d mentioned it when he’d approached her about the tutoring. He would have backed off. Now everything was awkward.
“Thank you. I’m glad you like the changes,” he said. “I thought it was time this place received a makeover.”
“Any special reason?”
He shook his head. “I just wanted it nice for Beth.”
“She’s moving back here to Marietta after college?”
“I assumed she would.” And then a thought struck him. “Is there something you know?”
Jillian shook her head. “She didn’t say anything to me. I was just wondering with Beth always talking of the ocean if she would ever live in this house again.”
Jillian’s words triggered a lightbulb for him. He wasn’t the only one striving to get away from here—from the memories of the family that had once been and was no more. He’d tried so hard to fill in for his parents, but he’d obviously failed as everyone wanted to go in a different direction.
As though Jillian could see the impact her words had on him, she said, “Of course, I could totally be wrong about this.”
He shook his head. “You’re probably right. I guess I just didn’t want to see how splintered our family has become. I bet that sounds really corny coming from me. After all, it’s not like I’m their parent or anything.”
“You’ve sacrificed a lot for them and they both love you so much.”
It was more than he could process right now. He glanced quickly around the kitchen. It was coming together nicely, but it wasn’t his style. He’d thought it was something Beth would enjoy. However, if Beth was never coming back, it was all for naught. But then again, it wouldn’t be right to sell the only home they’d ever known. So what did he do now?
He shoved the quandary to the back of his mind. “We can talk in the living room.”
Jillian shook her head. “I don’t want to take up any more of your time when you’re so busy. I can just grab Romeo and leave.”
“I’m done for today.” For some reason that he wasn’t prepared to explore, he didn’t want her to go. “And if you stay, it’ll give me an excuse to sit down and put my leg up.”
“Now how can I resist such a heartfelt offer?” She sent him a teasing grin.
He couldn’t help but smile back at her. She had one of those smiles that was contagious. It was the first thing he’d noticed about her, way back in elementary school. She’d been a tomboy and adventurous. And now, she was definitely no longer a tomboy. He swallowed hard.
“How about some hot chocolate to warm you up.” He had no idea where that offer came from. “And if you’re lucky, there might still be some of those little marshmallows around here that Beth always has to have in her hot chocolate.”
“Now, you’ve totally sold me. It’s been a long time since I had little marshmallows.”
“And here I thought it was the chocolate that women wanted.”
“It is, but those marshmallows are the extra treats that make each cup perfect.”
“Okay.” He moved to the outlet to unplug the saw. “Glad you filled me in on the details or I never would have known.”
“That’s because you don’t like marshmallows.”
He could feel her gaze following him around the room as he gathered his tools. The truth was he wanted her to stay because he was lonely in this house. He wasn’t used to it being so quiet.
“Would you like me to make the hot chocolate while you finish cleaning up?” she asked.
“Sure. If you don’t mind.”
In no time, his tools were picked up and the hot chocolate was made. They carried the cups into the living room where both cats sent them such innocent stares.
Marshmallow was seated on the cushion of the hunter green armchair, while Romeo looked quite comfortable on the arm of the chair. They were close, but not too close.
Avery glanced over at Jillian. A huge smile lit up her whole face. In that moment, he was certain she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever known. How had he missed it all of this time?
And then he realized he hadn’t noticed because he hadn’t been looking. He hadn’t had a normal life. He hadn’t dated like other men his age. Instead, he’d been busy raising a family. He’d been doing the science projects and mowing the grass when he wasn’t working at the Crooked S or out on the rodeo circuit. His life had been one constant motion. And now he was standing perfectly still with no place for him to rush off to. And suddenly he was seeing all of the things he’d missed in the past.
And what he’d missed was how Jillian had grown into a beautiful woman. No wonder she had a boyfriend. It was surprising she wasn’t married with a family of her own. But then again, she was focused on her career. Maybe they weren’t as different as he’d thought.
“Aww…aren’t they cute together?” Jillian said, jarring him from his thoughts. She rushed over and started to fuss over both cats.
Romeo murred as though in response to her question.
“It would appear he agrees with you.” Avery smiled.
Jillian laughed as she moved back to Romeo. She scratched under his chin. “You’re a sweetie.”
Avery just shook his head. “I think he has you wrapped around his tail.”
“Oh no. Not me.” She moved to the couch and sat down. “He’s my mother’s cat.”
“And yet you’re the one who ends up chasing him around Marietta.”
Jillian took a sip of her hot chocolate and moaned in approval. “It’s funny how that works, isn’t it?”
“So how are things going with you?” He wondered if he was being too nosy. But it wasn’t like he’d come straight out and asked her if it was serious with that guy she was kissing earlier today.
“They are good. In fact, they’re real good.”
He nodded. “Glad to hear it. I don’t know if I mentioned it before but your shop is really nice. I’m sure it’s already a huge hit with the residents, and when the rodeo is in town, you’ll end up selling out.”
“I don’t know about that, but it sure would be nice. I’ve sunk everything I’ve got into it.”
“It looks like your gamble is paying off,” he said, regretful his life hadn’t been different, but knowing he had no one to blame but himself.
“I’m still in a wait and see mode.” She sipped her cocoa. “And how about you? Are you done with the rodeo?”
Done with the rodeo? That was a question to which he had no answer. If he could get his hands on the Crooked S, he’d give up the rodeo in a heartbeat. But securing the funding was still iffy.
“I don’t know.” It was as honest an answer as he could give her.
“Of course, you have to see how well your leg heals, especially since this isn’t your first injury.”
No, it wasn’t. Far from it. Over the past ten years on the rodeo circuit, he’d sustained broken ribs, a busted collarbone, and a number of other injuries. His x-rays were a mess of scars. Still, he could only think of one other occupation he would like better—running his own ranch.
A murr from one of the cats had them both turning. Romeo finally made his way down onto the cushion of the chair next to Marshmallow. She immediately stood, gave him a slight hiss and left.
Avery couldn’t help but chuckle at the dejected look on Romeo’s face. “It’s okay, buddy, women are hard to figure out.”
“We are not.” Jillian arched a brow at him.
“Yes, you are.” Each time he ran into Jillian, he became increasingly confused about how she could so easily evoke emotions in him.
“What’s so confusing? We want a career, a family, and a nice home. We want it all.”
Avery’s thoughts hovered on the fact she wanted a family. That’s what he’d just dealt with for the past six years. It wasn’t for the faint of heart. Being responsible for other people’s well-being was a lot. Was it possible he’d misunderstood her?
He cleared his throat. “So you’re looking forward to having a baby?”
“Someday.” She paused as she stared at the fireplace. “I don’t know if I’ll ever have it all. But I refuse to settle for less.”
Ouch. That left him out of any plans she might have for the future—not that he was thinking of being in her life. He inwardly groaned. How did they get on this subject anyhow?
“How about you?” she asked, drawing him out of his thoughts. “Are you planning on having a family of your own?”
“No.” He didn’t hesitate, not even for a split second. When her eyes widened in surprise, he added, “I already finished raising my brother and sister. That was enough for me.”
“But it would be different if it was your own wife and child.”
He shook his head. “I’m happy with the way things are now.”
“You mean with you being out on the rodeo circuit?”
He shrugged. “Someday I’ll retire.”
“But not now?”
The thought of the Crooked S came to mind and so did the hefty price tag. “I don’t know what the future holds.”
She nodded in understanding and then proceeded to switch the subject by asking, “How are your Bake-Off plans coming?”
“They aren’t.”
“You still have time. There’s what—a couple of weeks until the big event starts?”
“I’m not going to do it.”
A worried look came over her face. “Oh no. Everyone will be so disappointed, especially Harry’s family.”
“That’s why I don’t intend to tell them until I’ve found a suitable replacement.”
“Oh.” She stirred her hot chocolate. “You know I’m still available to help you.”
“But you’re so busy with your business. And I don’t want to impose.”
“You aren’t imposing as I’m the one who’s offering.”
He hesitated. Should he go there? Sure, why not? It’d save them both some grief. “Won’t your boyfriend get upset?”
“My boyfriend? I don’t have one.”
That surprised Avery. How would she define that man she was having a cozy moment with on the sidewalk? He was about to ask her, but he decided to refrain. While he composed himself and formulated an appropriate response, he preoccupied himself with taking a long drink of hot chocolate.
So if that guy he saw her with wasn’t her boyfriend, then who was he? Because it sure looked to Avery that if this guy wasn’t her boyfriend now, he certainly wanted to be in the very near future.
Still, she was single and offering him help. Not to mention Beth and the Monroes were counting on him. “You’re sure you don’t mind?”
“Avery, what’s up with you? I’ve never had to repeat myself this much in the past. You know me. I don’t offer unless I want to do something.”
That much was true enough. She’d wanted to help when his parents died. At first, he thought she’d just taken the nanny position out of pity. But when he thought about her offer, he realized that she’d worked as a babysitter for his brother and sister since she was sixteen. If his parents had trusted her, why shouldn’t he? In the end, it had been one of his best decisions.
He swallowed down the last of the hot chocolate. “You really think I should do this Bachelor Bake-Off?”
She nodded. “I do. Besides, it’ll keep you from missing the rodeo, or at least help keep your mind off it for a little bit.”
It was the problem of the ranch that was foremost in his mind. But that was a subject he didn’t want to discuss. So far no one in town knew about the terms of the will and for now, he wanted it to stay that way.
He did not relish the idea of answering everyone’s questions—especially when they’d want to know why he wasn’t jumping on the offer to buy it. He didn’t want to admit that he’d depleted his savings. He didn’t want anyone pitying him.
“Then I accept the offer,” he said, wondering if he was making a big mistake. “I’ll pay you for your time.”
“Pay me?” She shook her head. “I’m not doing it for the money.”
“I have to repay you somehow.” He watched as a myriad of expressions passed over her face. She had something on her mind and he wanted to know what it was because he didn’t like being indebted to anyone. “What is it?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I saw that look on your face. You thought of some way for me to repay you. Tell me what it is and I’ll do it.”
She hesitated. “First, are you dating anyone?”
What in the world was she about to propose? His gut tightened, but he was already committed. “No, I’m not. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have bothered you for baking lessons.”
“Good point. Are you sure—”
“Jillian, out with it.”
Her fine brows rose. “Be careful about agreeing to things without getting the details first.” When he motioned for her to spit it out, she said, “I need an escort for a wedding.”
This was not what he’d been expecting. He got to his feet and moved to the fireplace. A wedding? He didn’t go to those things. In his limited experience, it always felt like if you weren’t already part of a couple that people were trying to set you up.
And yet, he’d already told Jillian he’d do it. She did, after all, offer to help him even though she was busy starting up her own shop.
He turned to face her. He should tell her that he’d do it, but the words were stuck in the back of his throat. Of all the things she wanted, did it have to be this?
Jillian fidgeted with a silver ring on her middle finger. “I can tell by the look on your face that you’d rather have all of your teeth pulled out than do this.” Disappointment reflected in her eyes. “Don’t worry. You’re off the hook.”
“Is it really that important to you?”
She shrugged. “My mother RSVP’d that I’d be bringing someone.”
“Can’t you just tell them that you’ll be alone?”
She shook her head. “The wedding is this weekend. With it being this close, everything has been planned out. But don’t worry, it’s not your problem.”
It sure felt like his problem. He’d told her that he would do whatever she needed. “What happens if you go alone?”
“My mother has a fix for that. She wants to set me up with a friend’s son. Did I mention that most of her friends are much older than my mother and therefore their sons are much older than me?”
“Ouch. Sorry about that.” He supposed he could go for just a little bit. “But it won’t be a date?”
“What won’t be?”
He realized that he’d vocalized his thought. He cleared his throat. “I’ll go with you, but it won’t be a date.”
“But you don’t have to—”
“We aren’t going to have that conversation again, are we?”
Jillian smiled. “I suppose not. Thank you. And no, it’s not a date. You’ll just be my plus one.”
Plus one? He thought about it for a moment. It didn’t sound so bad. There were no romantic implications or anything.
His gaze met hers. “That’s me. The plus one.”
“Now that we have the details all worked out, how about we get started on the baking tomorrow evening? Because right now, I need to take Romeo home before my upset mother hunts us both down.”
When she stood up to take her now empty mug to the kitchen, Avery stepped forward and held out his hand. “I can take it.”
As she handed over the mug, their fingers touched. It sent the strongest sensation zinging up his arm. The fuzzy warm feeling settled in his chest before it emanated throughout his body. As their fingers continued to touch, his gaze met hers. Did she feel it too? She must have felt something or she wouldn’t be looking at him the way she did.
And just like that snowy night not so long ago, he wondered what it would be like to kiss her. His gaze dipped to her lips. They were glossy and tempting.
Why exactly had he waited this long to kiss her? At that particular moment, he couldn’t remember. Whatever his reason, it didn’t seem so important now.
His heart picked up its pace as he moved closer to her. All he could think about were her lips. It was time to put an end to all of the questions in his mind—
Thunk!
The sound of something falling drew Avery out of the spell Jillian had cast over him. All too soon, she withdrew her hand from his. Disappointment assailed him.
They both turned to find a stack of magazines from the coffee table had fallen to the floor. Romeo sat on the coffee table and stared down at the mess.
Avery cleared his now dry throat. “I’ll clean it up as soon as I take these to the kitchen.”
He moved to the kitchen and placed the mugs in the sink. He couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if the cat hadn’t interrupted them. Would Jillian have welcomed his kiss? It really bothered him that he’d never know.
Avery drew in a deep, calming breath and then returned to the living room. He was immediately greeted by unhappy meows. “What’s going on in here?”
Jillian held out the cat carrier. “Just to be sure that Romeo doesn’t pull another disappearing act tonight, my mother sent along his cat carrier. As you can tell, he’s not too fond of it.”
“Marshmallow doesn’t like those things either. She howls the whole way to the vet’s office.”
“How’s Marshmallow doing now that no one is home much?”
He shrugged. “She’s not too crazy about it. She stays at my neighbor’s house. Luckily, the older woman next door loves cats and doesn’t mind taking in one more from time to time. I don’t think Marshmallow likes the other cats over there, but I don’t have any other options at this point.”
Jillian started for the front door. “If you ever need someone else to take Marshmallow, perhaps my mother could try it. Obviously Romeo wouldn’t mind. I’m just not so sure Marshmallow is as fond of him.”
They both smiled.
“I’ll keep that in mind. It might be best.” When Jillian briefly frowned, he couldn’t help asking, “Why don’t you look happy about that? If you think it’d be too much for her—”
“It’s not that.” Jillian shook her head. “Never mind.”
“Talk to me, Jillian.”
“I was just thinking that if you didn’t have Marshmallow you’d be all alone.”
Oh. Is that all? He breathed a little easier. “It’s not bad being alone. You should know.”
“I’m not alone. Trust me. Now that I live next door to my mother, I see her every single day and she has me babysitting Romeo any chance she can. She’s worried that he’ll get lonely.” Jillian rolled her eyes. “This isn’t good.”
“What isn’t?”
“I just realized I’m turning into my mother.”
He chuckled. “That isn’t such a bad thing. I like your mother.”
“Thanks. But no one wants to turn into their parent. And yet, I’m bothering you about ending up old and alone like she does with me. Ugh!” Jillian pulled open the door. “On that note, I’ll say goodnight.”
Avery watched her go and realized he was still smiling. For the first time since he’d returned home, he’d actually enjoyed himself. But he knew not to get used to having Jillian around. They wanted very different things in life.
While she longed to be tied down with a baby, he’d already raised a family. He may be anticipating the commitment of a ranch, but that was far different than the pressures of a family—of always wondering if he was doing a good enough job as a guardian or a parent.
The truth was he didn’t feel worthy of his own family. He’d already done so much damage to the family he had with his parents and siblings. If only he’d done things differently—