Chapter Eighteen
It seemed to take forever before Sidney was finally able to come work at the ranch, though it was actually only a couple of months. Cody tried to be patient, because he knew she was worried about her father and she had a lot to do. He went with her to Dallas and helped her move out of her apartment, but they had little time to be alone, because Cade, Lisa, and Claire came along as well. While many hands made light work, he would much rather have had his hands on her.
And then, Henry’s recuperation took longer than expected. Though he tried to be all gruff and independent, it was a difficult façade to maintain when a man couldn’t come down the stairs without help. Though Sidney tried to protest Cody’s help—she was a lot like her father in that—he insisted on coming by at least once a day to check in and spend time with them both.
Again, he would have preferred to have alone time with her, but it was nice getting to know her dad better, and the three of them enjoyed many meals, chats, and snark-fests.
Cody discovered that Sidney had inherited her wicked wit and passion for really bad movies from her dad. He spent many nights with an aching gut from laughing so hard at their pithy observations and running monologues during execrable films.
It was a pleasant time, a time of renewal between them, learning each other all over again. And every day, he felt more and more convinced that she was the woman he wanted to spend his life with.
It bugged him that she seemed to be holding back though. There was ever and always some kind of wall between them. It wasn’t as stony as it had once been, but it was still there. He had no idea how to knock it down. Or even, if he should.
He opted for patience.
But damn, it was hard.
He was hardly a patient man.
Finally, the day came when Henry Stevens rebelled against his daughter’s coddling. The doctors had given him a clean bill of health—with restrictions, of course—and Henry was itching to get back to his life.
“Not that I don’t enjoy sipping tea with you,” he said to Sidney. “But I need to get back to normal.”
Sidney had protested, of course. Cody sensed that she’d really enjoyed this time with her father, that some sort of renewal had been blossoming there as well. But in the end, she had to accede that her father was more than ready to shake off the constraints of an invalid.
And it wasn’t just that he was getting antsy. He’d been watching Cody and Sidney together with growing interest. He’d even gone so far as to pull Cody aside and mention that, as men went, he was a fine one. He made it clear he wouldn’t object if Cody had the inkling to date his younger daughter.
Which was excellent.
One less hurdle at least.
Beyond that, Henry also approved of the idea of Sidney working at the ranch. She needed something, he said. Something more in life. It was pretty clear he liked having her close and wasn’t sorry in the least that she’d left her job as a bikini barista.
So finally—finally—Sidney presented herself for work.
And, as they expected, she fit right in. More than that. She seemed to have a second sense about what would be needed before anyone else thought of it. More than once, he’d gone to her to ask her to complete a task, only to have her smile and say, “Already did it.”
All this only validated his conviction that she was perfect for him.
Now all he had to do was convince her.
But he wasn’t sure how to do it.
Before they’d become friends he would just have seduced her. Cornered her in some quiet alcove and kissed her silly. But now, for some reason, he was leery to make the first move.
It was an unfamiliar awkwardness for him. He’d never second-guessed himself with a woman or a seduction before.
But it had never meant this much to him before.
It was much easier to make decisions when a man didn’t really care about the outcome.
Not the case here. Cody really cared about her, about their relationship, about everything. To the extent it nearly paralyzed him.
It took a lot of effort to remind himself to take it slow. Take it easy. Be patient.
One day as he and Claire were going over the bookings in the office, his sister threw him for a loop. “So,” she said, apropos of nothing. “How is it going with Sidney?”
He blinked. “What?”
“Sidney. Remember her? Reddish hair? Brown eyes? Snarky attitude?”
He glared at her. “What’s your point?”
“Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it?”
He sighed, sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. “Apparently not.”
“She’s here because you’re interested in her.”
“I thought she was here because you were whining for more help.”
“I never whine.”
“You know what I mean. And she’s working out beautifully.”
“She is. Better than I expected. But that’s not what we’re talking about, is it?”
He lifted a shoulder. “I have no idea what we’re talking about. You started this.”
Claire leaned in and hissed, “You and Sidney.”
“Sidney and I are . . .” He cleared his throat. “Friends.”
“Yeah. Right. I see the way you look at her. Are you trying to tell me you don’t have the hots for her?”
“I would never say that.” That would be an absolute lie.
“Then . . . what?”
“What, what?” God, his sister was so annoying sometimes. “Why don’t you just come out and say what you mean?”
“Are you two . . . an item?”
“Ah.” He shot her a cold smile. “None of your beeswax.”
“Don’t get flip. I deserve to know.”
He gaped at her. “You absolutely do not deserve to know.” Anything between himself and Sidney was private. Beyond which, Claire was the absolute last person he’d want to discuss it with.
“It affects me.”
“No. It doesn’t.”
“It does if you two have a mad passionate affair and then you dump her the way you dump everyone else.”
“I do not—”
“And this would be even worse. Not only would I lose an excellent employee, Sidney is my dear friend. I cannot bear to see her heart broken.”
Claire was delusional. If anyone was going to get their heart broken here, it would probably be him. He frowned at her. “Butt out.”
“I won’t.” She narrowed her eyes and pinned him with a glower. “Are you pursuing her?”
“Pursuing who?” Cade said as he stepped into the office. Cody shifted his glower to his brother. What was this, Grand Central Station?
“I’m asking Cody the question.”
“Oh.” Cade’s eyes widened and his curious gaze landed on him. Something nasty curled through Cody’s gut.
“Wait. You’ve discussed this?” Behind his back? Holy shit.
“Discussed what?” Lisa pushed into the office next to Cade.
The office wasn’t that big to begin with, and with all of them crowding around and staring at him, he felt like a bug pinned to an entomologist’s block.
“The question,” Claire said, and Lisa’s lips made an oh.
“Did you all talk about this?”
“Of course.” Claire didn’t even try to dissemble. “It affects us all.”
“It does not.”
“It kind of does,” Cade said. “So . . . What’s the deal?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Are you going to seduce her?”
Seriously? That question from Lisa? Heat crept up his neck.
“Are you?” Claire eyed him warily.
“Well? Are you?” Even Cade was in on it.
Cody leaped to his feet, but still felt closed in. “It’s none of your business.”
“It’s all our business,” Claire said primly. “I think that’s the point.”
“I can’t lose her,” Lisa said. “She made a perfect pate a choux yesterday, with just five minutes of coaching. And that soufflé she made—”
“Perfect,” Cade said.
“Wait.” Cody frowned. “I didn’t see any soufflé.”
Cade flushed. “We kind of ate it before you came home.”
“What the hell?”
“Point being, I can’t lose her,” Lisa said. “She’s practically a sous savant.”
“I can’t lose her either,” Claire said. “So we need you to behave.”
It was all too much. Too freaking much. “I have been behaving,” he snarled. “Do you have any idea how hard that has been?”
Oh, hell. He should have checked his words. They all gaped at him in shock.
Claire frowned. “What do mean, you’ve been behaving?”
“What do you mean, it’s been hard?” Surely Cade knew exactly what he meant.
“I wish you would all just butt out.”
Lisa stepped forward. Of the three of them, she was the only one who seemed slightly sympathetic. “What do you really feel for her?” she asked softly.
Cody raked his fingers through his hair. “A lot.” Too soft for them to hear, but Lisa nodded. “We have this new chance.”
“New chance?” Claire chirped. “What do you mean, new chance?”
He ignored her. “We’ve made peace. We’re good friends. The last thing I want to do is ruin it. Okay? Are you happy?”
“That’s not the question,” Lisa said. Again the only one in the room with a beating heart. “Are you happy?”
He frowned at her. “It doesn’t matter if I’m happy.”
“Doesn’t it?”
He glanced at Cade, who had gone suddenly somber. “Remember what you told me?” I wanted her to be happy, even if it meant I would lose her. That’s real love, I think.
His brother stilled. Nodded. “I do. It’s like that, then?”
“Yeah.”
They shared a moment of understanding, the two brothers, and then Cade stepped back.
Claire scowled at them both. “What? What did you say?” When neither responded, she raised her voice. “Are you planning to seduce Sidney or not?”
A movement in the doorway captured his attention and to his horror, he saw Sidney standing there, staring at him, her mouth agape.
Well hell. This was bad timing. Really bad timing.
Or was it?
Perhaps it was providential after all.
“I don’t know,” he said, not to his sister, but to the woman in the doorway. “That is entirely up to her.”
***
Her heart stuttered. Sidney stared at him. The others simply faded.
She could hear their conversation, but it was muffled and remote. When they realized she was standing there and had heard everything, like mice, they skittered away, leaving her and Cody alone.
She stepped into the office and closed the door, taking in his pained expression. Something that might have been hope flickered in his eyes.
They’d spent the past few months together, nearly in each other’s pockets. He’d been nothing but friendly, respectful, and distant—to the point she’d finally come to the conclusion that friendship was all he wanted. And she’d dealt with her conflicted feelings on that note.
Or she thought she had.
While she truly did crave his kisses—real kisses, not those stupid forehead ones—and she knew damn well how phenomenal he was in the sack, she really treasured this new relationship as well. It hurt that he didn’t seem to want her that way anymore, but she’d come to terms with being his buddy—as hard as that had been.
Now, what she’d assumed was a closed topic cracked wide open again.
She could barely contain her excitement.
“So,” she said with a sigh. “What was all that about?”
Cody dropped into his chair and grimaced. “They’re worried I will seduce you and break your heart and you will leave.”
She offered a coy smile and sat across from him. “Is that what you intend to do?”
“No!” She loved the furor in his tone. It boded well. For her seduction of him.
Because that was what she intended to do. Now that she knew. She still wanted to understand why, if he still had the hots for her, he hadn’t made a move, but that could wait.
For all his faults and glowing attributes, Cody was a pretty straightforward kind of guy. When he wanted something, he went for it. If he didn’t, well, he didn’t want that thing. This restraint on his part was unfamiliar to her.
“You don’t intend to seduce me, or you don’t intend to break my heart?”
“Yes, no . . . Both!”
“Really?” She batted her lashes.
He fixed his intense gaze on her and growled, “I have no intention of breaking your heart.”
“And seducing me?” She let her fingers drift down the prim lines of the buttons of her blouse. He followed the move the way a hawk tracks a titmouse. His Adam’s apple worked. His tongue peeped out.
“I . . . ah . . . I . . .”
She leaned forward. “What are your intentions, Mr. Silver?”
He stared at her. Set his teeth until his jaw flexed. His nostrils flared. But he didn’t answer. It annoyed her, but excited her as well. Because she saw the answer in his eyes.
He wanted her. Wanted her bad. But something was holding him back.
She stood and wandered to the window, shooting a glance at him over her shoulder. “Is there a policy here?”
“A . . . policy?”
“Fraternization policy?” She batted her lashes and adopted the tone of a shy ingénue. With any hope, he’d pick up on her game. “You are my boss, Mr. Silver.”
He sucked in a deep breath. Glanced at the door. Seeking escape, or perhaps checking to make sure no one had wandered in.
“The last thing I would want to do is break the rules,” she cooed. “Nobody likes a . . . naughty girl.”
He shot to his feet. His eyes blazed. “Don’t they?”
She put out a lip. “Naughty girls get spankings.”
She could practically see the steam come out of his ears, like a character in a cartoon.
“Sidney,” he ground out. “What are you doing?”
“I should think that was obvious.”
He closed his fingers into fists. “I need more clarity.”
“Okay,” she said, slowly unbuttoning her blouse. “How is this for clarity?”
He fixated on the black lace of her bra. The tips of his ears went red. His lips worked, but no sound came out.
She sashayed up to him and went on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear. “I want to fuck you. I want to fuck you here and now. And I want—”
But he cut off her demand with a brutal kiss. Ah, it was savage and crazed and feral. He backed her up against the wall with such force the painting to her left bounced off its nail and fell onto the file cabinets, but they both ignored that.
They both ignored everything but the scent, the sounds, the heat of the other. This passion had been too long banked. She could feel it writhing for release in him, in her. After a kiss that lasted an eternity, but ended far too soon, he worked his way down her chin to the crux of her neck and suckled on the bundle of nerves there. Delight speared her and she arched into him, clutched at his shoulders, urging him on.
But he needed no urging. He was right there with her.
Madly, mindlessly, they grappled with each other’s clothing. He unfastened her bra, and she yanked his shirt from the confines of his jeans so she could rake the bunching muscles on his back.
He growled and drew a nipple into his mouth—warm velvet encased her—and then he sucked. Her sanity flew. Pleasure and hunger rose in her belly. She felt like a jungle cat claiming her mate. Especially when he nipped her, nibbled and consumed her as he did.
With a snarl, he lifted her leg and reached beneath her skirt—and how relieved she was that she’d worn it. He took hold of her panties and, without any hesitation, ripped them off.
An even more delirious excitement snarled through her. It was more than that crazed passion in his eyes, more than his mumbled protestations of desire, it was more than the feel of his hands on her, which she had craved for so many lonely nights.
It was the power she felt in his arms. The ability to make him want like this.
As he unzipped his jeans, fumbled for a condom in his back pocket and readied himself, she cradled him closer, urging him on with a whispered, “Yes. Yes. Fuck me, Cody. Now.”
And, dear God, he did. He rose up above her and stared into her eyes with an intensity that made her shudder. And he thrust.
She was so ready, so willing, that first plunge sent her over the edge. Delight rained down on her as a quick, unexpected orgasm consumed her. But fortunately, he had more resolve. He sucked in a deep breath and planted his legs and lifted her other leg, until the only thing that was holding her there against the wall was the force of his body.
And he went wild.
Deep, hard, fast, manic, he plunged in and out of her, his gaze locked on hers, his breath harsh and raw on her cheeks. She clung to him, glorying in the fullness of each thrust and the agonizing friction of each withdrawal. She came again and again and then lost count as he pummeled her.
His movements became tighter—deeper harder faster—until she didn’t know if she could bear the tension. Until she thought for certain she would die if she didn’t reach that next level. Until it felt as though they were one.
And then his cock swelled. New bliss blossomed and she grasped for it. With a gasp, she reached the apex, coming as she’d never come before, as he released into her.
He kept moving then, as though he didn’t want this glory to end, but it was more of a reflection of that tsunami of passion, a gentle wave that kept her afloat, that allowed her to revel in the wash of afterglow.
Slowly, he released her legs, though she could hardly stand on her own.
No worries; he held her up.
“Sidney,” he whispered into her ear. A benediction.
She eased back and shot him a grin. “That’s better,” she said. And then she kissed him.
His brow quirked. He stared at her like a man bemused. “Better than what?”
“Better than celibacy.” She patted him on the shoulder and eased away, picking up her shredded panties and dropping them into the wastebasket. Oh, yes, it had been magnificent, but now that the passion had been spent, they were back to that strange limbo they’d somehow created between them. Friends, but not friends. Lovers . . . but not.
She wasn’t sure how to handle it, if not with snark.
Snark was her weapon. Her shield. It kept her from being burned by the overwhelming flames of her need. Which came in handy when his expression firmed.
“Sidney . . . I shouldn’t have . . . We shouldn’t have . . .” He stepped toward her. She saw it, an apology hovering on his lips. And she could not allow that.
This had been her choice. Her decision. And she was damn glad she’d made it. “You did tell everyone it was up to me, didn’t you?”
He stopped short. “I . . . Yes. I did.” He wiped his face with his palm. “But—”
“Well, I needed that.” She flicked him a playful glance. “I’d been wondering why you were being so standoffish.”
“Standoffish?” He looked wounded, so she patted him again. “I was giving you space.”
“Space?” Why the hell did she need space? “For what?”
He lifted his shoulder and shook his head. His expression was befuddled. “For our friendship to grow, of course.”
Well, that made no sense whatsoever. “People can be friends and have fabulous sex.” And it had been fabulous.
A flush crept up his cheeks. His lips quirked in a relieved smile. He pulled her gently into his arms. “I . . . didn’t want to rush you.”
She shook her head and huffed a laugh. She would never understand him if she lived to be a hundred. “You are a goofball, Cody Silver,” she said, and then, when he pouted, she kissed it off his face.