Chapter Twenty-three
“Porsche,” Hanna breathed. “You look lovely.”
Porsche turned on the dais to check out the bustle on her wedding dress. She shot them all a grin and waggled it.
The bridal party—Sidney, Hanna, Claire, Lisa, and Ford’s wife, Crystal, and Brandon’s sister-in-law, Penny—were all sitting on the divan in the dress shop, sipping champagne and cheering Porsche on. She did look lovely. More than lovely. She glowed. While Sidney was happy for her, there was a slight roil of bitterness writhing around inside her, but she tried hard to keep it to herself.
Everyone had found their true love.
Hanna had Logan—the two had married in a quiet ceremony a month ago and had just returned from a fabulous honeymoon in Paris.
Claire had Charlie. Lisa had Cade. Penny had Mark. Crystal had Ford. And now Porsche had Brandon.
She was the only one without a partner.
It was her own fault.
She’d given up on men months ago.
Which was for the best.
But it did make weddings awkward.
“I can’t believe it’s almost here,” Porsche said as she stepped down from the platform and sat gingerly on the sofa next to Sidney. Hanna handed her a glass of champagne, but Porsche shook her head. “I shouldn’t.”
Everyone gaped at her.
Porsche hadn’t turned down a drink since she turned twenty-one. And probably not even before that.
“Are you all right?” Claire asked, her eyes wide with concern.
“I’m fine. It’s just not a good idea to get drunk while I’m choosing the bridesmaids’ dresses.”
“Oooh.” Penny’s eyes widened. “Good point.”
The others laughed, and they all started chattering about hideous bridesmaids dresses they’d had to wear at one point or another. All but Sidney. Oh, she made all the right noises and smiled and pretended she was amused and all that crap, but it was hard keep from weeping.
She didn’t know why. It wasn’t as though Porsche was stealing anything from her in her happiness. And she most certainly wished her friend nothing but the best. But it was hard to witness such a fairy tale blossom in her friend’s life when hers was so barren.
Oh, she had Dad and Mom. And she spent a lot of time with Hanna, Logan and the Wilders. She’d even started a business restoring and selling antiques on eBay that was doing brilliantly.
Still, her life was an empty husk.
She knew why.
She wasn’t a fool.
She missed him.
She missed him terribly.
She’d spent hours upon hours thinking about him, and her, and her past grievances against him and his against her. She’d run every scenario in her head six ways to Sunday. What if they got back together? What if she were able to put it all behind them and dredge up the courage to try again?
How would she feel, how destroyed would she be when he finally decided he was finished with her and started dating someone else? Because, of course, he would.
But he hadn’t. From what she heard—and of course she never came out and asked—he wasn’t seeing anyone.
That hadn’t made it any easier.
It had made it harder, when she lay in her bed at night wanting him. Made it harder for her to acknowledge the pitiful truth.
She hadn’t been mad at him about those twins in his bed.
Hurt, yes. Annoyed, certainly. But not mad. She’d responded with a knee-jerk reaction—as she had so often in the past. She’d railed at him. She’d refused to listen to his explanation. She’d stormed out.
But in truth, what she’d really done was snatch the chance to end it before he could.
That was how convinced she’d been that he would, at some point, dump her.
But dumping him first had given her no great satisfaction. In fact, it had sent her into a deep abyss. She wallowed there in the shadows, well aware of the unmitigated truth that she was, in a word, a coward.
And as a result of her cowardice, she was miserable.
The trouble was, when a person was an admitted coward, the obvious solution was not an easy one. And when someone was as naturally stubborn and intractable as she was, it was even harder.
So going to Cody and admitting she was wrong, pleading for another chance, became an impossibility.
Ergo, she deserved her misery.
Porsche shot a brilliant smile around the circle, but when her gaze landed on Sidney, it faded.
Crap. She’d forgotten to pretend. She quickly rearranged her features into something resembling delight, but Porsche wasn’t fooled.
“So,” she said, standing and smoothing out the wrinkles in her gown. “We agree this is the one?”
“Yes,” Claire said. “Although you will need a tiara.”
Porsche primped. “Naturally.” She turned to Sidney and held out a hand. “Help me change.” It was not an invitation. It was a command.
Sidney set down her champagne glass and stood, following Porsche to the dressing room. But once they stepped behind the curtain, Porsche whirled on her. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you. In private.”
Egads. Porsche’s expression was beyond fervid.
“All right.” Sidney tried to step behind Porsche and begin undoing the line of tiny pearl buttons down her back, but Porsche kept turning with her until Sidney gave up with a sigh. “What is it?”
“You do know Cody didn’t sleep with those girls.”
Oh good lord. She winced because she was pretty sure all the others had crowded around and were listening. “Porsche—”
“No. Listen to me. I’m the bride. You have to listen to me. It’s the rules.”
“You’re not the bride today.”
Porsche waved manically at her dress.
“So you’re standing in a dress shop wearing a wedding gown. That doesn’t give you unrelenting power over all creation.”
Porsche sniffed. “Nonsense. Now listen.”
Sidney rolled her eyes.
“I know you’re still mooning over him.”
“I’m not—”
“You’re not allowed to lie to the bride. It’s bad luck.”
“That’s not—”
“And I know you’re too stubborn to admit you are wrong.”
“What?”
“Please.” She rolled her eyes. “I know you. And I know him. He’s hurting. You’re hurting. All either of you wants is to be together again. I see that. But you’re both too stubborn to make the first move.”
It wasn’t stubbornness. It was something much darker.
“We all know you’re both difficult people.” Porsche threw out her arms to embrace the world, the galaxy, the universe, perhaps.
“I am not difficult!”
A snort sounded from behind the curtain. Sidney glared at it.
“But all is not lost. All you need is . . .”
“What?”
“A little nudge.”
“A nudge?”
“Mmm hmm. What if I were able to thrust you and Cody together at the wedding. Would you take the opportunity to talk to him? Maybe listen to him? Give him another chance?”
“Porsche—” This was mortifying beyond words.
“Oh please, Sidney.” She raised prayerful hands. “Please tell me you will at least try?”
As Sidney stared at her, Porsche batted her lashes. “It could be your wedding present to me.”
“I already bought you a chafing dish.”
“Oooh. That’s nice.”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe a gift for little Cody then?” She patted her belly.
Sidney’s throat locked. She gaped at her friend. “Are you pregnant?” Maybe that was why she’d refused the champagne. “Are you?”
Porsche put out a lip. “Well, not yet. But I will be soon. I’m sure.”
Damn her. Porsche wasn’t playing fair. Then again, she never did.
Sidney sucked on her tongue. “So you’re planning to name your baby Cody?”
Porsche stilled. Her lips worked. “Maybe?”
“I seriously doubt Brandon will want to name his son after the man you drooled over your entire life.”
“He is very open-minded.”
“Not that open-minded.”
“Sidney, what I do or do not name my future son is hardly the point here.”
“Is there a point here?”
“Yes. The point is this. Do you want a chance at happiness with Cody, or do you want to spend the rest of your life like this?” She skated a derisive appraisal up and down Sidney’s person.
“What’s wrong with this?”
“Do you need to ask? You’re positively desolate.”
“I’m not—”
Porsche flung out her arm with a melodramatic flair, which was only encouraged by the flowing tippets on her sleeves. “As desolate and wretched as the wild barren wastes of the vast Karakum.”
Good. God. “I have no idea what that is, and I assure you, I am perfectly, deliriously happy.”
Porsche set her teeth with a click and stared at her. “Fine. Awesome. Whatever.”
“Look, Porsche—”
“It’s your life, Sid. Your choice. I want you to be happy and I will do everything in my power to help you, but if you won’t even try, there is no point.”
She was right.
Sidney swallowed hard and leaned in. She had to whisper, because she was pretty sure everyone else was listening. “I’m scared,” she said.
For some reason, Porsche broke out in a brilliant grin. “I know, Sidney,” she whispered back. “Isn’t love glorious?”