Chapter Nine
Penelope
I get lost in him, letting the rest of the world melt away. I don’t care where I am or what’s going on around us. All the anger I had for him moments ago falls from me. I don’t know why, but I don’t want to hang on to the anger. I can’t be mad at him. Deep down I know he’s pushing against me because something inside him is making him do it. A slice of guilt runs through me that I didn’t push back. I could have fought harder for him, because I know he needs fighting for.
His lips are soft, softer than I would have imagined. His tongue slow and sweet. The kiss is nothing like I thought it would be, but there’s more to him than what’s on the surface. The only hard thing about him now is the possessive hold he has on me.
All too soon he pulls back and looks down at me. His dark eyes are fiercer than ever. I can’t read him. Too much is pushing through. Possession, want, need, hope.
“You’re here,” I say.
Part of me hoped he would show up. That maybe he saw us sneak out and followed us. I lick my lips, wanting to see if I can still taste him. I want more. I want the look he’s giving me right now to never slip away. He’s looking at me like I’m his everything.
“I’m sorry, my krasotu. I didn’t mean the things I said before.” He pulls me impossibly closer, like he’s afraid I will try to get away from him. I swear I feel a tremble in his hands.
“You didn’t mean that you were fine until I showed up in your life?” I try to tease, but the words come out laced with hurt. I hate it because I know he knows hurt, and I don’t want it coming from me. I can already tell from the way he’s acting now that last night was a lie. I should have seen it and not spent the day ignoring him. I should have only given him sweetness. Being cold isn’t like me at all.
“I thought I was.” He pauses, running his hand along my exposed neck and shoulder. “But you, Penelope, you make me feel,” he whispers into my ear. “Feel something that isn’t pain.”
He leans down, and I think he’s going to kiss me again. Instead he presses his lips against my neck. His warm breath brushes against me, and it’s like he’s breathing me in. He runs his nose along my collarbone, up to my ear. My eyes fall closed, wanting to only have his touch, to only feel him and nothing else around us. What’s he doing to me? I don’t understand how someone I only met days ago can be so consuming so quickly.
But here it is, and I don’t want to let it go. I want to grab ahold of it.
He needs you, a voice inside me echoes.
Now I’m pulling him closer. I have a feeling Pandora was right. Ivan is dark, but I know I can be his light. I can feel it. I’m his other half.
“You two about done?” I hear Pandora yell next to us, making sure we can hear her over the music. The moment is jerked from us, and I look over at her.
Ivan doesn’t release me from his hold. “Net. I’ll never be done.” His Russian accent is thicker now, deeper than before. But he isn’t looking at Pandora when he says it. He’s looking right at me.
“Well, that’s great, Big, Dark and Tattooed, but we’re leaving,” she tells him. She grabs me by the hand to pull me, but Ivan still doesn’t let me go.
“Krasotu wants to dance. We will leave when she’s finished.” He finally looks over to Pandora, but then his eyes come back to me. “Krasotu, would you like to dance more?”
“Fucking shit,” I hear Pandora say.
“I want to go,” I tell him, hoping if we go that means the two of us get to be alone. I want his mouth back on mine.
“Then we go.” His hand slides into mine as he leads me from the club.
The crowd parts to make way for us. For Ivan actually. His big body moves through the swarm with purpose.
“I’ll call us a cab,” Pandora says.
“I’ll take you home.”
Pandora tries to fight with him, but Ivan challenges her. “I’m her guard.”
“Not for long, you won’t be. Wait until our mom finds out you’re trying to stick it to my sister. The only thing you’ll be guarding is your balls.”
Ivan shrugs like he doesn’t care for the safety of his balls.
“My sister will keep her mouth shut,” I half-growl at Pandora. I know she isn’t going to tattle, but she still glares at me. Clearly she’s not happy about what’s going down.
When we make it outside, he goes over to the valet and is handed his keys. He keeps his hand locked with mine as we walk over to a Porsche. He opens the passenger-side door for me and waits.
I glance over at Pandora, who’s standing there with her hands on her hips. “I’ll sit on your lap,” I tell her. She lets out a deep sigh and gets in the car. I slip in after her, sitting awkwardly on top of her legs. Ivan closes the door then goes around to the other side. I move a little so my back is more towards the door.
When Ivan gets in, he reaches over and pulls the seat belt over both my sister and me, clicking it into place. His hand comes up to brush my cheek for a soft touch before he cranks up the car and pulls away from the curb.
We ride in silence for a moment before Pandora breaks it.
“Fuck it,” she finally says, and I roll my eyes. “I’m just going to say it.”
Yeah, like she’s ever bitten her tongue when there’s something she wants to say.
“You’re no good for her. I know you see it. Look at her. She’s sweet and soft and all that shit. She’s like the freaking heart of our family. Hell, I bet you’ve even killed people before.” She snaps the last part, and the air in the car feels like it’s alive.
I watch something pass over Ivan’s face, and I hate it. I elbow Pandora, hitting her right in the ribs before I place my hand over Ivan’s, ignoring Pandora’s string of curses. He moves his thumb against mine as he welcomes my touch. His eyes stay on the road, but God I wish I could see them right now. I wonder how many other people have judged him all too quickly. Don’t they see the man underneath all the tattoos and scars?
“Do you hear her?” I tell him. Leaning more towards him, I say “She’s trying to tell you all the reasons we can’t be together. But I don’t care. Do you?” I reach up, rubbing the back of my fingers across the stubble on his face. I know if we really want to be together, my sister will be the least of our battles.
“If you want me, krasotu, I will forever be yours.” He says it so simply, as if I can have ownership over him. He leans into my hand.
“I want you,” I tell him. “All of you.” I watch tension leave his body. I smile at him, and for the first real time in my life I’m pissed at my sister.
“So, Taco Bell?” Pandora says.
I grit my teeth.
“Are you hungry?” Ivan asks, glancing over at me.
“I’m always hungry,” Pandora pipes in like he’s talking to her.
“Krasotu?” he asks, ignoring her.
“I want to go home. With you.” I add the last part because I don’t want there to be any confusion. I need to be alone with him.
Pandora huffs, and the car grows silent again. I place my hand on top of Ivan’s as he drives us home. He pulls up to the gate and keys in the code. He takes us to the front of the house, and I hop out and Pandora follows.
“Ivan, I’m coming with you,” I tell him as he gets out of the car. I grab Pandora by the arm and pull her towards the side of the house. “I just need a moment with my sister,” I call over my shoulder.
I stop when we make it to her bathroom window.
“I’m sorry,” she says before I can even yell at her. “I just worry about you. Don’t be mad at me.” She reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “We don’t fight. I was wrong about him I think” she adds, taking me by surprise. “I watched him when I said those things in the car. He’s—”
“Don’t.” I cut her off. I don’t want to hear about how he’s broken or whatever it is. That’s for me and Ivan to work out. I feel so protective of him. I don’t want anyone thinking of him in any way but positive.
“You’re already so far gone,” she says, studying my face. “I know we always joke about how you take care of us. You’re the tender one, but no one gets as angry as you when someone goes after what you love.” She leans in, kissing me on the cheek. “I’ll sleep in your bed tonight so when Mom and Dad get home they’ll think we’re both in there,” she says before opening the window and slipping in. “Be careful. I don’t want to have to kill him,” she adds as she climbs in and shuts the window.
I think about her words, about how angry I got when she made a comment that I thought hurt Ivan. It only makes me believe even more that he was meant to be mine.
I don’t have to turn around to know he’s behind me. I have a feeling that’s where he’ll always be.