Conleigh
I toss and turn in bed, unable to find comfort. Ezra crept in more than an hour ago. He showered and crawled into bed without even acknowledging me. I wasn’t facing him, but I was awake. I thought maybe he’d apologize and try to make it up to me with sex. I assumed that was why he showered. I guessed wrong.
I know he’s tired and under pressure from his dad, but I thought with our living together and it being my first few weeks here, he’d actually be home to spend time with me. With a heavy sigh, I shift under the sheets and roll over to the middle of the bed, laying my head on his shoulder, wanting to feel his warmth…wanting to be close to him…to remind him, I’m very much here.
I want to talk to him about my job situation or lack of one. Maybe I should take Holden up on his offer to work at the bar. It’s close by and I could walk until I find a car.
Ezra shifts under my touch.
The smell of his manly soap clinging to his skin makes me feel relaxed as I snuggle closer to him.
Not even two seconds have passed before he is twisting away from me. “Too hot in here for that C,” he grumbles. His words are like a bucket of ice water to my confidence.
I miss him.
I miss us.
Without a word, I grab my book from the nightstand along with my new to me phone. Maybe tonight, I’ll sleep on the couch. Part of me expects Ezra to call out to me and apologize, but he remains quiet.
I look back at him once more, and he doesn’t even look in my direction. His blond hair is feathered across his forehead, and I fight the urge to brush it back from his face. I could swear he’s pretending to be asleep. If he didn’t want me here why did he invite me to move in? Maybe this was too much for him…and for me. I just hate this distance that seems to be separating us.
In the living room, I take up residence on the couch and attempt to get comfortable, to no avail. Swiping my finger across the screen of my phone, the clock illuminates 3:30 in the morning. My alarm is set to go off in three hours. What’s the point in sleeping? Instead, I make my way into the kitchen to start the coffee pot. When I get upset, I eat, so I start poking around in the fridge. It’s a terrible habit. The dinner I made sits neatly in Tupperware containers. I smile, maybe I’m being paranoid. Ezra must’ve cleaned up for me.
Maybe he really is just tired from a long week at the office. I don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t this.
There’s a couple of eggs inside the door, so I make myself a fried egg sandwich and sip on some black coffee. I am meeting with my advisor this morning to finalize everything although I am sure she will try and convince me to stay.
After finishing my breakfast, I return to the couch and flip through my emails on my phone. I can’t believe I’m on the couch and Ezra is sleeping as if he hasn’t ignored me since I moved in. Maybe I should just hold off on getting the rest of my clothes. Maybe I shouldn’t have agreed to this living arrangement.
I keep refreshing my inbox, hoping that I will have an offer from a publisher any day now. Letting out a heavy sigh, I open my book and get lost for the next two hours in King’s Landing.
My alarm sounds on my phone, signaling I need to haul ass to the shower.
I tiptoe into Ezra’s—our room, to gather my clothes as quietly as possible. My boyfriend is sound asleep. It doesn’t escape my notice that he does appear to be exhausted, purple rings shade small circles under his eyes. Now I feel bad.
I gather up my clothes in my arms and slip back to the bathroom. Placing my clothes on the back of the commode, I start fiddling with the shower, adjusting the temperature of the water. At least the shower appears clean, I was expecting to need to wash the tub out before I could get in.
After stripping down, I get in and pull the curtain back. I hope I remembered to lock the door, the damn curtain is only a clear plastic liner. I’ll have to see about getting something darker…more private.
I’m busy scrubbing the shampoo through my hair when I hear the sound of the toilet lid slamming down. My eyes widen and slowly, I peek around the curtain, shielding my body. Not that it matters. Whoever is in here has certainly gotten their eyes full.
Ezra. Thank goodness.
He rubs a lazy hand through his hair. “Morning,” he mumbles.
“Morning.” I smile weakly and duck my head back under the spray of water.
“Want me to drive you to class and go on over to your dorm to grab the rest of your stuff. We can grab something to eat after.”
“Sounds perfect.” I’m just happy that we are going to spend today together. He took the day off, which I know must have been hard to do. I’m sure his old man wasn’t happy when he put in the request. “The office was okay with you taking the day off?”
“I told them I have a dentist appointment.” I see him shrug.
I guess he hasn’t told his parents that I moved in either. I’m not pushing that right now, not when I haven’t told mine either. Not that what they will think matters. I know I should tell Ezra I lost my job and am thinking of working for Holden, but he seems to be in a decent mood and I don’t want to ruin it. I still have to confess about school as well.
As I turn the water off, Ezra brushes his teeth. When I step out and wrap a towel around my body from the shelving over the commode his eyes narrow on me. He spits, then rinses before advancing on me.
He practically growls as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me flush against him. The water from my hair trickles down my back in cold drops and I shiver. “I’m sorry I was so grouchy when I got in. I’m so damn tired, baby.”
“I understand.”
His nose brushes along my jaw, inhaling the scent of my cherry blossom shampoo. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Me too,” I whisper against his lips, needing a kiss to confirm his statement.
His hands travel down my hips to my thighs, then he squeezes my butt before lightly spanking me. “Get dressed.”
I nod, chewing on my bottom lip, still wanting that kiss, but not receiving it.
Left on my own, I continue to get ready.
As I am blow drying my hair, I could swear I can hear yelling and a door slamming. When I turn off my hair dryer the apartment is quiet again. I pick up my dirty laundry after brushing my teeth and head back to the bedroom to grab my bag. Ezra is seated on the edge of the bed, dressed for work. His head is buried in his hands and he won’t even look at me.
“Hey, talk to me.” I stand in front of him, rubbing my hand up his arm.
The touch I have been craving, wraps around me, hugging me as he pushes his head against my stomach. Crouching down, I tilt his chin up. His green eyes are so empty. “My father called, seems he’s checking up on me and knows I lied about my appointment. He told me I can come in to work, or I can find a new job.”
I sigh inwardly, knowing he doesn’t need any grief from me. I can see that he feels lousy. “That’s shitty.” I press my mouth to his. He returns my kiss and it feels lifeless, no spark, no warmth. I pull back. “It’s fine, you have to go. I can manage without you.” I smile, but even I know it’s anything but genuine.
“No, it’s not. I asked you to move in hoping it would make things better and it is only getting worse. I’m a shit boyfriend.”
“Stop beating yourself up. Things have been complicated, but I’m sure they will slow down, eventually.”
He shakes his head and I hate to see him so defeated. “I doubt it.”
“I live here now, so you will have plenty of opportunities to make it up to me.” I attempt to coax a smile from him, but it doesn’t work.
“True. I’ll make it up to you.”
“I’ll hold you to it.”
Ezra brightens a small fraction, flashing me a semblance of a smile before kissing me, and this time, I feel his passion return.
“I’ll see if Bailey can help me lug the rest of my junk home.”
“Already handled. Holden is going to meet you at the dorms after your class.”
“Um, okay.” Yeah, I’ll definitely be asking Bailey. There’s no way I am counting on Holden. “Can I have your key? I’ll get a copy made today.”
Ezra looks up at me, annoyance flickering in his blue eyes. “Holden didn’t get you one?”
Shaking my head, I laugh. “Nope. I had to hunt him down at that bar last night so I could get in.”
“I’m sorry baby, I would have done it myself, but I’m always a day late and a dollar short. I can’t seem to make anyone happy.”
“You make me happy,” I tell him, hoping he doesn’t notice the rise in my voice. When I lie I tend to get high pitched. However, even after two years together, Ezra hasn’t picked up on it.
“I have to go if I’m going to make it on time.”
“I’ll see you this evening then?”
“I’ll call you on my lunch break.” He proceeds to remove his door key from his keyring and hand it to me.
I move away so he can get up to leave.
Ezra doesn’t even bother with kissing me goodbye. I remember when he’d never leave me without a proper kiss. How can I be living with him and feel even further apart?
Grabbing the backup cell phone Ezra gave me, I schedule an Uber.