Her last morning alone dawned clear and cool for a change. Stacy quietly set about the kitchen, making coffee and putting a piece of bread in the toaster. She’d been happy to have space that wasn’t filled with tension and uncertainty.
But after yesterday, she just wanted Hawk back, tension or not.
A light breeze swept through the window and cut the humidity rising from the bay. She’d slept like a rock. With the windows over the ocean wide open, she’d fallen asleep to the sound of water lapping on the shore.
“You want to talk?” Jamie came into the kitchen, his floral Bermuda shorts and bright yellow the perfect match to his laidback, sunbathing ways. He’d slept on the couch. Aside from knowing that in her head, he looked exactly the same. And alert, like he’d been up all night.
Stacy wrapped her hands around the coffee mug. She didn’t know what to say and shrugged. “It’s been a weird, dark summer, Jamie.”
He cocked his head, his eyes a tad disbelieving. “Are you going to run again today?”
“Maybe.” She finished off the coffee and set the cup in the sink. “Hawk gets in tonight.”
And he’d told her not to come pick him up. He was going to rent a car to drive down the coast. She’d wanted to argue. He’d be too tired, and what about the headaches. He insisted and agreed if he wasn’t feeling well, he’d take a shuttle.
Her husband didn’t usually give in. She swallowed against the tightening in her throat. What would make him give up his independence?
“We could run together.”
“No. I’m not going to live scared.” Besides, she had things to do today.
“Scared and careful are too different things.”
“Then I won’t run at all!” She blew out a breath, annoyed by his reasoning and by the knot of anger lodged in her throat.
“Fine.”
“Fine!” The silence pressed in against her. “I need to go.”
“I’ll take you.”
She frowned. “Jamie, I don’t need a bodyguard.”
He came close and touched the bruising on her temple. “Hawk would kill me if anything else happened to you right now.”
“So what?” she asked harshly, without thinking.
“Well, I kind of like my life.”
“Fine.” Her frown deepened.
“Fine.” He was so calm and so sure, it made all the turmoil inside of her boil up and want to come exploding out of her.
She left him and went to change into a set of workout clothes. “I’m going to the gym,” she announced. Only she hated the sterile setting of the gym. The mirrors, the gray carpets, the droning television in the corner. Though she closed her eyes, she couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched. Watched by Jamie, who was as loyal to Hawk as the Pope was to God.
Her stride broke, and she lifted herself off the treadmill to the running boards on the side.
“Good morning, Stacy.”
Stacy sucked in a breath, her gaze flying to the doorway and the voice. “Michael, you scared me—”
“It is what you Americans call…jumpy?”
“Yes, definitely.” The pounding in her chest slowed.
Michael’s gaze sharpened on her face as he came closer. When he lifted a hand to her, she drew away.
“What happened?” he said with a frown.
“There was an intruder,” she explained for what seemed the gazillionth time. “It’s okay. Almost doesn’t even hurt anymore,” she lied. “How was your scuba diving excursion yesterday?” she asked, steering the conversation back to him.
He shrugged. “The sea lacked one thing, a beautiful woman to share it with.”
Flattered, Stacy smiled genuinely for the first time since yesterday. “You're too much.”
“You think I tease.” He shook his head. “You are a vibrant young woman who shouldn't be left alone. You should be more careful.”
“You’ll be happy to know; today, I have a guard.” There was a ring of resentment in her voice. She couldn’t seem to help it. It wasn’t Jamie she resented. No. She had to dig deep to see it. If she wanted back in on the business side of things, her main hurdle would be convincing Hawk she was ready.
It was obvious, she was not. He would see this as a failure.
He laid a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “Still, we are like friends now. I hate that something happened to you.”
And as innocent as it was, Stacy shook her head. “Look, Michael—”
“Have lunch with me at the café.” He cut her off, a look of resignation in his eyes. “Lunch. That’s all. Public place. Two friends.” He leaned in. “After all these years, I know the sound of rejection, my dear. Let me buy you lunch before that happens.”
She laughed at herself, both relieved and saddened. He was such a nice man, and when she’d worried he wanted more from her than she could give—
He been honorable, instead.
“I’d love to.”
He cocked his head, studying her for a moment. “Good.”
Even though she’d hardly done what she came to do—workout, she left the gym and found Jamie drinking a coffee in the lobby. “Hey,” she began.
“Mrs. Hawkins. How are you?” Roberto came toward her with outstretched arms. “Oh, you look worse today.”
She laughed, too long friends to be offended. “Yes, well, they say that’s expected of the bruising. I’m feeling much better, though.”
“Bueno.” He kissed her cheek and gave Jamie a pointed look.
“Come on, bodyguard,” she said. “I think that was your cue.”
She walked with Jamie back to the suite, and at the door, she held up her hand. “That’s enough. I’m going to get changed and do a little cleaning for when Hawk gets back.”
Jamie opened his mouth, most likely to object. She wouldn’t have it.
“Please, just let me be for a while, Jamie, and I’ll call you when I’m going to lunch.”
“Stacy—”
She was putting him in a bad spot; she knew it. No one liked to disobey Hawk.
“I’ll be all right. I swear.”
“I won’t go far.”
A compromise. “Okay.”
She went straight through to the enclosed patio out back, undressed and stepped under the shower nozzle. The water pounded along her spine as she bent to touch her toes, stretching her hamstrings and lower back. Her short twenty-minute workout had been piddly, but the stretch of aching muscles felt good anyway. The combination of sunshine and the refreshing shower made her want to give up bathing indoors at all. Reluctantly, she shut off the water.
Back in her bedroom, she pulled out one of her afternoon skirts, a comfortable, knee-length rayon. Moira called it her swishy dress. It was black with large, swooping red flowers. Her black tank top was a good match, and she slipped into her black sandals as well.
A look around had her looking inward, waiting for the unease to return.
She took a deep breath and let it out. That was yesterday. Today, she had Jamie skulking around outside, trying to give her space without really giving her space. And she had herself. Going down at the hand of that kid hadn’t been incompetence. She’d been proud. She’d fought. And she hadn’t come out on top, in the end, and that had been mental.
If she had a weakness, it was that she cared.
She could live with that.
In the mirrored closet doors, she did a little turn. The outfit was a favorite of Hawk’s, and she was smart enough to know it was the way it rode low on her hips and accented her slimming waist that drove him crazy. She needed makeup on that face. Before she knew it, she was prepping for Hawk’s return like she hadn’t seen him for the length of a deployment.
They had a lot to talk about, so much unsaid.
Unfortunately for good relations, her need was so much baser than that. She wanted him, missed the weight of him on top of her, ached for the look in his eyes when they made love.
Stacy cleared her throat and checked the time. Just a few more hours.
As she left for lunch on the resort patio, excitement started low in her gut.
***
Hawk left his gear in the car after parking it as close to their suite as possible.
He’d slept as much as possible during the flight, which didn’t end up being much. Not with the international, jet-setting toddler in the seat behind him. He’d been distracted, too. Thoughts of Stacy and the trouble surrounding their vacation had kept his brain from truly settling, even after the poor kid finally crashed in his dad’s lap.
Now, jet lag was about to bite him in the ass. His head ached, and the sharp pain behind his eyes was a sure sign that it was just a matter of time before his vision gave out.
The path around to the south side of the resort passed through the pool area and skirted the café where Roberto had the finest cuisine of any resort in Belize. The scents wafted through the air, reminding him he hadn’t eaten in several hours. When he stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk, his vision tunneled, turning fuzzy at the edges until all he saw were barely outlined blobs. “Damn.”
At the sound of laughter, Hawk came to a sudden stop. Stacy. The low murmur of voices. A late afternoon meal at the patio café…
A funny feeling came into his gut.
His plane had gotten in early. His layover in Houston had been cut short because of a coming storm. His heart pounded against his sternum, painfully.
He could go find her. Or he could hurry back to the suite and get a quick nap, rest his brain and hope his vision returned.
He reached out, and ran his hand along the hedge that bordered the path and listened for the air conditioner attached to the first unit in their row of bungalows. If it hadn’t been rattling incessantly since their arrival, he would probably be lost. He let his eyes adjust to coming dusk and made out the shapes of the small cabins then turned when he reached the third one.
And he slowed as he came to the door. This was where some asshole kid had hurt his wife. Rage at being helpless filled him. Everything was wrong. All wrong. If he had to let her go in order to protect her—
He shut down the thought that had been slowly growing in the back of his brain, keyed in, and pushed the door open.
Inside, the air was cool and still. He went to the kitchen for a beer first, cracked it open on the bottle-opener, and took a long drag. Then he sighed. Thankful to be back.
With his vision all messed up, he was better off remembering that he couldn’t keep her safe. If the business failed, he’d be able to keep them afloat financially because of smart investing, but losing the main source of income would be rough. He wouldn’t only be failing his family, but all the men who depended on Hawk Elite as a source of income. They had the gym and the shooting range, but those had been established as extras. It was taking on clients and protecting them that made them the most of their money.
Work belongs to the team.
They were a team. Could he stand aside while everyone else did what he wanted to do? He was sitting at a juncture that could change his entire life. And he wasn’t sure he could take the worst-case scenario.
He showered, the hot water and the soothing of those travel-achy muscles didn’t help, not when he knew she was out there, enjoying herself.
Without him. At your insistence.
“Fuck.” He was not going to let her go. He was not going to save her from himself. And if he wasn’t going to do that for her, he couldn’t do that for them team, either. He couldn’t watch other people do what he loved without him. “Shit. Shit. Shit.” he whispered as the water really did clean the bull crap from his conscience. And then he laughed. “You won’t have to watch anything, you dumbass.”
The house phone interrupted the conversation with himself—thankfully.
The local police, reminding him that he had bigger things to worry about than how much he wanted his wife right now.