“How long have you been in Belize, young man?”
Hawk, squeezed between his wife and an elderly lady on old school bus—peeled, faded paint revealed the old orange version beneath the garish pink and neon blue—braced himself against another bump in the road before answering, “About three weeks, ma'am.”
The woman traveled with her sister and cat. In an hour of hell in this oversized coffin, he'd learned enough to be able to write her biography, including bits about her age, her dead husband's first girlfriend's dog's name, where she'd vacationed in 1947, and the fact she never really learned how to tie her shoes therefore they'd stayed that way—untied. Thank God for Velcro.
And Stacy lapped up every word with smiles.
A spring, jutting from the seat, poked his back and reminded him that this was his idea. Slow down, show Stacy how bad it was going to be when he was blind. Perhaps, convince her she might be better without him tagging along.
When she jabbed him with her elbow, he focused back on Maybelline, who finished talking about her honeymoon in Niagara Falls―sixty years ago. He smiled nicely to show he was listening.
“You'll see when fifty years roll around for you two.” She winked as if they were in on a secret. “Having a younger woman in your bed keeps you young.”
At Stacy's grin, Hawk choked back a groan. “Yes, ma'am.”
Oh, yeah. Stacy was enjoying this way too much.
“That's if you can keep her,” Maybeline tacked on.
He was about to lose all his teeth by grinding them down. A jolt sent the three of them into the air. His head hit the ceiling, and he reached his arm around Stacy, whose hand gripped Maybeline’s shoulder as if she could somehow keep the old woman from leaving the seat.
“Are you okay?” Stacy asked her.
“Oh, this is nothing, love. In 1944, I drove with my sister―you remember, Sarah, don't you?”
The quiet sister peeked from behind one eyelid with a hmph. “If you'd hush up for two minutes, this young couple might actually be able to enjoy the ride.”
Maybeline straightened in the seat and adjusted her straw hat. “Sour grapes. Roger always said that about her, you know. Not that that stopped him from dying and leaving me with her for the rest of this lifetime.” She sniffed righteously and leaned toward Sarah. “Well, I have friends!”
When the bus dropped gears and slowed around a turn, Hawk heard the alleluia chorus in his head because a rest stop was finally in view. The primitive nature of the roadside area was certainly dense enough to hide a body or two, right?
At Stacy's pinch, he gave her a wide grin and shrugged. “What?” he mouthed.
She rolled her eyes and in an instant, it was all worth it―the hellish bus ride, the ridiculous old ladies, even the sheep in the back seat who'd been bleating its head off for the last fifteen minutes. Lifting her, he put his entire rear on the seat and plopped her into his lap.
Maybeline giggled when Hawk kissed his wife... And though he wouldn't mind diving into the kiss with more gusto, he backed off to wink at the chatty, older woman. Because maybe they did share a secret. Maybe her life with Roger could be compared to what Hawk shared with Stacy.
“Diez minutos, rapido,” the driver called from the doorway before he hopped off the bus. Ten minutes of freedom. Thank God.
The air outside revived his sanity. There was no other way to describe it.
Hawk walked the short distance to an overlook where a crumbling wall was the only thing standing between the tourists and a twenty-foot drop down the hillside. A sign that said keep off stood sentinel and riddled with bullet holes. Though the public rest area had seen better days, it was neat. The gift shop at the front of the building was strung with lights, blinking a welcome.
He let out a breath, taking in the gorgeous countryside, the distant peaks that separated the earth from the sky, and a memory from twenty years ago when he'd first met Stacy on these green hills.
“I'm going to use the rest room. You coming?”
Turning at the sound of her voice, he found her waiting with a question in her eyes and an out-stretched hand.
“In a minute.” Hawk watched her walk away in those modest capris, which revealed pretty pale ankles. Even now, he wanted to find a dark corner and ease her feet from those teeny-bopper shoes and kiss the soft skin from there to the back of her knees.
His plan to create distance, to worry over her quality of life with him, was being foiled by his own danged obsession with her.
As he turned toward the building, the hairs on his neck rose. Slowly, he cast his gaze over the familiar crowd of bus companions, and took in those who weren't familiar as well. A couple of mopeds, a dark sedan and a VW van―turquoise and white. Though nothing looked suspicious, he wasn't one to dismiss a gut reaction too quickly.
He used the restroom then browsed through the gift shop, waiting for her. As the sense of danger eased, he called himself all kinds of fool.
What the heck was she doing in there, anyway? He checked his watch.
“Mr. Hawkins! Mr. Hawkins!”
Maybeline called from the doorway.
An ear-splitting scream struck him. He ran, barely noting the breathless woman holding the door for him at the front of the store. She pointed toward the wall and, with one word, struck fear in his heart. “Stacy.”
His first thought was Cortez. Did his reach extend all the way to Belize? The thought of her in the hands of such a vile creature turned his stomach, and he forced the panic back.
A crowd had gathered beneath the broken sign. People stood around, pointing down, reaching over the wall. The hum of his internal alarm pressed in on his thoughts.
He shoved his way through the people, his pounding heart like a cadence of anxiety. Why had she left the building? He broke through, as Stacy pulled herself over the edge of the wall, all limbs and uncoordinated movements. She sprawled to the ground then righted herself and sat with her back against the stones.
All in one piece. Conscious.
Lightheaded with relief, he bent on one knee, touching her to check for injury. “Shit. What the hell were you thinking, anyway?”
“I was thinking, what a great day for a dive down the hillside.” Reaching up behind her, she set the heels of her hands on the ledge and lifted her butt to the edge. Her hands shook, and she didn’t disguise the blink of anger in her eyes.
“Sorry.” Hawk blew out a breath. “You scared me. Are you okay? What happened?”
“No. I— I lost my footing, that’s all.”
Gripping her shoulders, he forced eye contact. “Stacy. What happened?”
“Nothing. I'm swell. Nothing like a six-foot fall down a rocky ledge to get your blood pumping.” Her sharp gaze, those cold blue eyes looked beyond him, looked for something. And he wondered what. She didn’t want to say, at least not right now. And that was an instinct he could understand.
“Do you want me to kiss it?”
“Kiss what?” She scowled.
“Whatever hurts.”
Her look turned wary as she scanned the few remaining tourists. She smiled when her eyes found the sisters. “I'm okay, Maybeline. Lost my balance, I guess. I'll have to be more careful.”
Hawk couldn't see the distraught May's response, but he knew one thing like he knew his own mind: Stacy was lying.
***
She'd been pushed.
Every time she thought about it, anger swept through her.
From the moment she’d stepped off the bus, she’d had that feeling of being watched, the feeling of her world being slightly skewed. The same one that had plagued her off and on the entire vacation. Of course, she had reason to be plagued. A shiver ran down her spine.
The harsh whisper of ‘excuse me’ before she’d plummeted down the rocky terrain.
She hadn't wanted to alarm the sweet old ladies and had kept her mouth shut. Eventually, she was going to have to tell Hawk her suspicions. It was far more believable that he might also be a target. Because unless the last PTA president was hunting down last year’s parent list, there really was just no way someone was out to get her.
Hawk hadn’t pushed the topic. He would, she had no doubt. For now, they both pretended everything was fine. They’d dropped their stuff at the motel and made their way to the tour at the Mayan ruins.
“You're distracted,” Hawk whispered into her ear as the tour guide ahead of them droned on.
Usually she would have paid attention because she loved this place, loved the history and lore. Plastering a smile to her face, she leaned toward him. “You're holding onto me by my shorts.”
“I don't want you to lose your balance.”
She huffed. “I'm not going to lose my―” Cutting herself off, she knew that he knew that she'd lied. The heat of embarrassment rose on her neck. “I'm not going to lose my balance.”
“Well, we can't be too careful.”
With a roll of her eyes, she glared at him. “We'll talk later.”
He loosened his grip on her shorts.
Breathing a sigh of relief, she stepped free and continued down the narrow path into one of the ancient tombs.
It was going to be a long afternoon, and she resolved to meet Hawk’s easy-going teasing with her own. She would have a good time. This was what she wanted.
Vacation.
Later that day as the sun disappeared beyond the horizon, they sat for dinner at a restaurant on the street. Their table faced the town square where local vendors were closing down their carts for the day.
Though she was thoroughly enjoying the trip inland, meeting Maybeline and Sarah, she missed the open road. Being with Hawk, the quiet time for talking, camping, making love and... “I think I miss the kids.”
Hawk took a bite of shrimp from his ceviche and watched her. Boy, his eyes could be striking and all knowing. “Um, no. Not that much. You’re mine for as long as I can get you, and I don’t feel like sharing.”
Her sip of wine caught in her throat. “Oh, no. I didn’t mean we should reunite the family yet,” she laughed. “Jesus, can you imagine? With all the trouble we’re having anyway? It’s best they stay where they are. Besides, I’m not sharing either.”
“Damn straight.”
“We do need to talk about what’s happening. And I would really like you to hear me out about my part in our business.”
“I’m glad you brought that up, actually.”
“You are?”
“Yes.” He cleared his throat. “You used to teach.”
“Yes,” she began, nerves hitting her stomach. “So…”
“I wonder if you would ever want to go back to doing something like that.”
“What? No!” Her frown started between her eyes and sent a shaft of pain through her head. “Freak, Nathan. Come on. You know I’ve been training. Not to mention that I run that office half the time.”
“I want you to be safe, Stacy.”
“I’m safe with you!” Her voice rose.
That familiar male panic flared in his eyes. “That’s not what I mean. I just wonder…we could look at our options—”
“Why?” She leaned forward. “You’re going to tell me what’s going on, right now. I’m sick of this. Sick of this thing between us. You’ve been able to avoid—until now. Spill.”
Hawk ignored her demand and stood. He held out a hand, his gesture a familiar invitation.
She wanted to refuse.
“Come on. I have some explaining to do. Just, not here.” He tucked her under his arm as they left the restaurant.
“I have things to say, too,” she admitted. Her feet following his, her hand dipping into his back pocket.
His fingers trailed along her collar bone and sizzled with an unspoken need. “Talk to me.”
She cleared her throat as his touch turned her to molten desire. “The scooter incident. Thomas. The thief.” And then she remembered those eyes above her in their suite, the blackness, the cold. “It wasn’t a random break-in.”
Hawk slowed, turned to her, and pierced her with that gaze of his. “Tell me.”
She shook her head. “He hated me. I couldn’t figure out why. It was there, in his eyes.” She shivered. “I think he would have killed me if his phone hadn’t beeped.”
Picking up her hand, he rubbed at the empty indentation on her left ring finger and, lifting it, kissed her hand. She’d left her ring behind… “Dang,” she whispered as she pulled her hand free of his.
“This job.” His words were a whisper of uncertainty.
“Maybe.” What was he saying? That they should quit?
“Jamie’s working on identifying your attacker as we speak, and he’s running the drawing through every data base we have access to, and a few we don’t have access to.”
“I know.” Stacy continued to walk. Hawk rested his arm over her shoulders and pulled her in tight against his side. “This is bigger than me, Nathan. And as much as I want to keep up appearances or not let fear drive us away, I think it might be time to take an active part.”
His fingers began another slow caress across her collar, which sent her heart racing unexpectedly. A quick side-glance showed him deep in thought, unaware that his fingers roamed, sending a shot of desire through her veins. His happy fingers dipped, just barely, under the edge of her shirt.
But it was more like he wasn’t aware of what he was doing.
And she wanted to know what was going on in that head of his.
She’d wanted him to join the real world, to participate in the vacation for what it was supposed to be. He’d instigated that, even if it had been through an unusual venue.
“Hawk?” She caught his gaze, found it unfocused.
“Yeah?” He focused in on her.
“I can’t teach, not even for you. I like what we do. Working with you satisfies me. I can’t imagine going back to a nine to five type of job.” She tugged on his hand. “Besides, I love our guys too much to abandon them now. This is our company, our life. Why would we let it go?”
“Because your life matters too much. Your life has been on the line twice this vacation.” He frowned. “It wouldn’t be on the line at all if not for this job.”
“My life is protected because of this job,” she answered him, scowling at what sounded like him being ready to give up.
He gripped her shoulders and turned her toward him. He sent a quick glance, first one way and then the other, before he pulled her into an abandoned storefront entryway. The cool of the shaded corner formed goosebumps along her arms, and in an instant, Hawk backed her against the brick wall. The weight of him pressed against her.
“Talk to me, please.”
He kissed her instead, and her arms came up, gripped his shoulders as a small moan escaped, fed his surprising frenzy. He devoured her, opened himself to her and trailed kisses to her temple. Then they were mouth to mouth. And she let all thought go, diving into his embrace and reveling in the need to forget.
“Stacy,” he breathed her name in a way that made her think he would do anything for her. They were making out like a couple of randy teenagers at a Friday night carnival. His lips on hers, demanding and hot. His arousal pressed against her belly.
She wanted all of it, now.
He shifted, and the brick poked her in the back. Her sandals wobbled beneath her feet so that after a few seconds she was clinging to him. Thirty-eight. That was the difference. About twenty-some-odd-years too old for making out on the streets of San Ignacio.
“Hawk,” she gasped.
He stopped kissing her, wrapped his hands around her rib cage just as she lost her balance, and he lifted her, held her steady, and... Crack. Hawk grunted.
“Oh no,” she whispered, getting her weight on her own two feet. Hawk released her and took a step back without rising to his full height. Hands on his knees like in a football huddle.
He lifted his wait-a-minute finger then lowered his head to touch his toes. The gentle crack of his spine brought a wave of queasiness to her stomach. He stretched for another second before standing upright.
Pressing his lips together, he eyed her.
For the life of her, she couldn't read him. Should she laugh like she wanted to or pretend nothing had happened in order to save him some pride?
“We're not as young as we used to be,” she declared.
Hawk shook his head. He was still obviously in some discomfort, and she was glad to see his lips twitch as he scanned the people moving by them on the sidewalk. When his laughing gaze captured hers, she fell in love all over again. Without a word, he wrapped an arm around her, and they finished the walk to the little hotel.
Companionable silence hung between them.
When he continued past the front of their hotel, she grabbed his shirt. “This is it.”
“Oh.” He looked up and squinted into the night sky. His complexion seemed off. “My mind was wandering.”
“Yeah?” She waggled her brows.
Hawk didn't laugh, didn't even chuckle.
“Hawk?” Stacy faced him, her hand gripping his arm. His eyes didn't focus, and he stumbled. Thoughts of headaches, old wounds and doctor visits slammed into her. “Whoa.” More than alarmed now, she touched his face. “Hey.”
He broke from her grasp and lifted his hands to cradle his head.
“Sit down.” She guided him to a wooden bench along the sidewalk and pulled her phone from her pocket. She sifted through her brain for phone numbers―an emergency number, Jamie's number, anything. With fumbling fingers, she started to dial The Shack.
Hawk's hand swallowed the phone in one snap. Startled, she crouched between his legs and placed her hands on his knees. “You need help.”
“No. I'm fine.” He paused. “Give me a minute.”
Her heart pounded as reality set in and adrenaline from the moment before faded. A lump formed in her throat. “What the hell, Hawk?” she whispered.
Leaning back against the seat, he took a deep breath, the pain from a moment ago apparently easing. The nighttime crowd continued to pass, oblivious to the fact that her world had tilted. The whole age thing had seemed like a joke, and she'd laughed. Now she didn't know what to do. He was only forty-two.
“I'm okay.”
Her gaze flew to his. Anger surged through her. At him. At herself, for not seeing sooner. She backed away and crossed her arms over her stomach. The sun was completely gone now, and dusk fell as an imminent precursor to darkness, reminding her that he'd kept her there. “How long, Hawk? How long has this been going on? What does it mean?”
He stood, steady on his feet again.
“You said it was only headaches.”
“It’s a little more than that.”
“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.”
“Stacy.”
She walked away from him and into the lobby.
“Wait.”
She did. She had to. “It’s the scar tissue, isn’t it?”
They both stopped at the shiny brass elevator doors, and waited.
Still, he didn’t answer. Not until they were upstairs and in their room.
“Yes.” He toed off his shoes and sat down. “It’s got a hold of my optic nerve.”
“And…?”
“And I can’t see.”
“You’re seeing now,” she stated.
“It’s slowly pinching off the nerves. I get the headaches and then sometimes my vision fades or goes fuzzy.”
“Okay. Okay,” she repeated. “Okay.”
When he lifted his brow at her, she just stared for a moment. “I’m processing. What do they plan to do?”
He shrugged. “That’s the question. I have to go back to see Dr. Carrig.”
“And that’s it?”
Hawk blew out a breath and started undressing. “I might go blind. I might have headaches for the rest of my life. I’ll have to give up the company. My men won’t be able to count on me. You won’t be able to count on me—”
“Don’t talk like that. It’s not true, anyways.”
“This could affect everything.” Anger exploded around him. “Everything.”
“I don’t mean to make little of it,” she apologized, throat tightening. “You should have told me.”
He scowled. “I wanted to be sure. I needed to have a plan.”
She didn’t get that. Still, even after he’d revealed so much, there was distance between them.
You didn’t tell him about Michael.
It was true. She had her own secrets. And now guilt to deal with, because while she’d been making friends with Michael, he’d been dealing with the thought of losing his vision, of being blind.
They’d had their share of secrets over the years. He still teased her about how she’d been too shy at the beginning of their marriage to tell him she wasn’t actually having an orgasm. Over a year of faking it.
This was such a huge deal. Brain injury was nothing to ignore. And she didn’t know why he wouldn’t have said something to her. They could have canceled this trip so he could get the care he needed.
“Do you have a plan now?”
“No. What I have now is a full-blown clusterfuck, thank you very much.”
Her eyes went wide.
“With you at the center of it.”
She opened her mouth to object, except for the truth that they’d been discussing.
Stacy sighed. “Okay, so we make it work. We fix it. You tell me when this kind of thing happens, Hawk. You’ve always had my back. It’s my turn to have yours.”
She could tell that freaked him out a little, too.
When she finally got into bed, she curled into Hawk’s side.
Maybe she could easily see the distance between them, but in bed was no time to allow it, so she reached out a hand to cover his.
And as she dropped off to sleep, Hawk’s arm came around her, his leg crossed over hers, pinning her to the bed beside him, and he pulled her close.