The silence in the room was deafening. Not a great thing considering they were musicians who should be making a lot of noise as they worked on the final song for their album. The problem was that every song they tried just didn’t seem to work with the rest of the songs. Not that all the songs they tried weren’t good, just that they were wrong for this album.

Nadine had kept to herself and let Jace and Stevie work it out. No one had said anything to her about her meeting with Derek but it was pretty clear they all knew. They had barely said a word to her in the hours that they had been in the studio. She would have preferred it if they had yelled at her. She hated this fake peace they had going on. It made her want to do or say something to push everyone’s buttons. She refrained because she was trying to be more mature, but it was a close thing. The longer the silent treatment went on the more the urge grew. She was almost at the tipping point when Vanessa spoke.

“Nadine has a song.”

Nadine got really still. She felt like everything in her body froze as the others turned to look at her.

“What?” Jace asked, disbelief plain in his voice. Typical. Of course Jace wouldn’t believe that she had anything worthwhile to contribute.

“Nadine wrote a song and it’s amazing,” Vanessa said, completely ignoring Nadine’s attempts to communicate with her telepathically. Normally Vanessa knew what she was thinking, but it seemed that their estrangement had damaged their ability read each other’s minds. That, or Vanessa was ignoring her.

“Really?” Stevie asked and Nadine expected to hear scorn or ridicule in her tone but instead heard excitement and eagerness. Huh.

“Show them, Nadine,” Vanessa insisted and Nadine wondered what the hell had gotten into her sister. Vanessa never spoke up. She never challenged anyone. Why had she chosen now to assert some initiative?

Nadine shook her head. “No, I don’t think so—”

“Come on,” Stevie said, walking over to where she was slumped on the couch. “Let me see it.”

Nadine shot daggers at Vanessa who appeared to find something on her drum kit that needed her undivided attention.

“Please?” Stevie asked again, sitting beside Nadine and looking at her with those sad puppy dog eyes that usually made everyone do anything for her.

Nadine sighed and swore under her breath. Now that the cat was out of the bag there was no way that they would let it go without seeing it. She shot Vanessa another hostile glare, which she ignored, and dug into her bag. Nadine pulled out her notebook and handed it to Stevie, open at the page with the finished song.

Stevie took a moment to read through it and then she got up and moved over to the piano. She sat and picked out a few chords before she began to sing. It was the first time Nadine had heard the song sung aloud. Up until now the music had only been in her head. It was kind of amazing to hear Stevie sing it. And Vanessa was right. It would fit with the rest of their album.

Stevie finished the song and the room fell silent as they all looked at her. Nadine tried not to squirm under their scrutiny but she couldn’t help it. There was expectation in that gaze.

“Play it again,” Jace said.

Stevie started from the top again. Jace closed his eyes and picked out the bass line on his guitar. Nadine’s fingers itched to pick up her violin and fill the song out with the melody that played in her head. Vanessa watched her, silently willing her to do it. But she couldn’t. Not yet.

The song finished and Jace spoke. “Again,” he said.

Stevie started at the top again and this time Jace’s bass line was more pronounced and Vanessa added a snare and hi hat to the mix, filling the song out even more. Nadine couldn’t hold back and stood, lifting her violin to her chin and touching the bow to the strings. She closed her eyes and played. She lost herself in the song, in the words that she had written and the music that was coming alive before her eyes. It sounded even better than she had imagined. They played it again, this time with a guitar added to the mix. Nadine opened her eyes to see Nate with his Gibson on his lap. She had no idea where he came from, but she appreciated his willingness to play studio musician and help bring her song alive.

A lump formed in her throat practically choking her and she swallowed painfully around it. She could hardly believe that the music they were making was music she had written. Music that had been only ever in her head before. Now here it was, outside her body. She wondered if this was how new mothers felt when they saw their baby for the first time. It was a surreal moment, almost like it was too good to be true.

The song ended and no one spoke as the sound slowly faded. Nadine couldn’t look at anyone. She was too afraid that they didn’t like it, that they hadn’t heard it the same way she had.

Stevie was the first one to speak. “Nadine,” she said and then stopped and waited for Nadine to look at her. Reluctantly, Nadine raised her eyes and met Stevie’s. They were wet and Nadine forced her own tears back in her head. The last thing she needed was to look weak in front of them. “Nadine,” Stevie said again, this time her voice was husky with emotion. “That song is amazing.”

Nadine felt her cheeks flush and dropped her head, not wanting the others to see just how much she had needed to hear Stevie’s words.

“I told you,” Vanessa said and Nadine couldn’t help the surprised chuckle that burst out of her mouth.

They were in the control booth listening to the playback with Derek. Nadine couldn’t sit still. Not only was it her song that they were listening to but it was also her singing. Stevie had suggested it on their last take. Hearing her voice come through the speakers was weird and she kept shooting glances at Derek to see what he thought, but the man’s face was impassive, giving nothing away. She couldn’t even look at Jace and if she looked at Vanessa she just might burst into tears. What she really wanted was for Gabe to be here and to be able to burrow into his chest with his arms around her, holding her tight as she waited for the judgment from Derek.

The song ended and she held her breath. Derek turned to Stevie, giving her a grin. He pointed his finger at her.

“Yes,” he said. “That’s the one.”

Stevie smiled at him. “Yeah?”

Derek nodded. “Yeah.”

Nadine felt the air go out of her as she sagged against the wall.

“This is good,” he said. “Great. You did good Stevie.”

“Not me,” Stevie said and Derek looked at Jace and raised an eyebrow. Jace shook his head.

It was only then that Derek raised his eyes to her. He hadn’t said much to her when he’d come in to listen to the playback. She figured he was still mad at her for trying to leave the band and break the contract. Now when he looked at her there was something in his eyes that she couldn’t read. Derek had always been a friend long before he had become her boss. He was always quick with a smile and his big booming laughter could usually be heard somewhere in the studio. But now there was a tension in him that Nadine had never noticed before and she couldn’t help but think that it was there because of her. She was the reason that he smiled less and that his laugh had not been heard for a long time…like six months.

She squirmed under his unwavering gaze. She would have been happy for Stevie to take the credit…okay, not really, but she would have preferred it to this feeling of being examined under a microscope.

“You wrote this?” he asked.

Nadine nodded slowly, warily.

“And that’s your voice taking lead?”

She nodded again and tried to not to make any sudden moves. She didn’t know where this was headed. Was he going to retract his approval of the song because it was her work? Anything was possible and if she was truthful, she probably deserved it. Derek had gone out on a limb with Court’n Jacks. He had backed them when they were unknowns. He had signed them to his brand new baby record company before they had even proven their worth to him and then she had gone and ruined it all by fucking up their first tour.

His face split into his trademark grin and Nadine stood, stunned.

“About fucking time,” he said.

“What?”

He shook his head at her, but the grin was still on his face. “How long have you been hiding this from us?”

“I-uh—”

“I knew you had it in you and I had just about given up hope that you would find it.”

“I don’t understand,” Nadine said looking from Derek to the others and expecting to see surprise on their faces. She was surprised by Derek’s words, so why wouldn’t they be? But none of them looked like they were very shocked or surprised or even mildly puzzled by the words Derek spoke. Stevie looked excited and…proud. Vanessa had an I-told-you-so look on her face and Jace looked like an indulgent parent that was watching his kid finally realize that they could walk. Nadine sat with a thump into the chair at her back and didn’t know what to think.

Derek sighed, but the smile didn’t leave his face. He sat forward, his big arms resting on his knees as he got in her face. “Do you know why I signed you guys?” he asked.

“Because Lily made you?” she replied. It had been Lily Ames, superstar, who had told them they should be a band. They had been working together as studio musicians and had been working on a song for her when she had walked in and heard them and made the declaration that they should be a band. She had even given them a name and told them they could travel with her on her big summer tour as her opening act. Derek had just been in the beginning stages of starting his own record company and he had signed them immediately.

“No,” he said with a shake of his head and a grin. “I have worked with you guys for years and I knew that if you ever decided you wanted more than just being studio musicians then I would help make it happen. Lily was a bit more assertive, but we had the same goal. Each one of you has something special,” he took a moment to eyeball each of them, “I was just waiting for you to realize it yourself. I’m still waiting, if you want to know the truth.”

“Is that why you wouldn’t let me quit the band?”

“Partly,” he said, turning back to her. “All the contract stuff still stands, but I knew it wasn’t what you really wanted. You guys are just finding your feet and I know it hasn’t been easy. To others it might look like you just arrived on the scene out of nowhere, but I know better. The problem is that none of you realize just what a goldmine you are sitting on. And I don’t just mean the money. You all have the potential to be something great, but together you can be more than just a great country rock band. But you’ve got to want it.” He paused to take a breath and looked at each of them again. “This song is perfect for the album. I want you all to work on it and have it ready by the end of the week.”

Then he stood and walked out of the studio leaving the four of them looking at each other. Nadine wanted to run but she knew there was no avoiding the conversation to come.

“Okay,” Stevie said.

They were back at the Court sibling’s house and were gathered around the couches in the living room. It felt like an eternity since they had all been here, since they’d felt like a band.

“I think it’s time we talk,” Stevie went on.

Nadine didn’t look up from the cold glass of water she was holding. She didn’t know if she could do this without Gabe. He helped her. Just his presence went a long way to calming her and helping her find the words. But he wasn’t here and she knew she shouldn’t rely on him so much. This was band business and if she was really going to commit to being part of the band then she needed to do this on her own. Even if she was scared shitless.

“Things haven’t been the same since the tour,” Stevie said, stating the obvious. “We’ve all been a little…gun shy I suppose is the word.” She looked at Nadine. “We know you’re not happy and it really hurt to find out that you had tried to leave the band.”

“I know,” Nadine said. “I thought it would be best for everyone. I have become a burden to everyone and it was the last thing I wanted.”

“You’re not a burden,” Stevie said, jumping in before anyone else could speak. “We’re all hurting and to be honest I don’t think we know how to act around you.”

Nadine snorted but didn’t speak.

“You’re different,” Stevie went on, ignoring her. “You don’t behave like the Nadine we know and love and we’re not sure how to take it.”

They thought she was acting differently? It had been them that were acting different and she had just been responding to that…wasn’t she?

“You’ve been talking about me,” Nadine said.

“Of course we have,” Stevie said. She was obviously the designated spokesperson for this, whatever it was, intervention maybe. “What happened in the summer affected all of us. We discussed it and you and how we were going to behave going forward.”

“Yeah, but no one discussed it with me,” Nadine said, feeling a spark of annoyance and the old anger surfaced. “You all have been treating me like I’m about to crumble at any moment and it’s so fucking frustrating that I’m going insane.” Probably not a smart word to use especially with the shit that was going on in her life outside the band. “All I wanted was for things to go back to the way they were.”

“How could we do that Nadine?” Jace asked, speaking for the first time. “How could we go back to the way things were when that was what made you do what you did?”

“You think that’s why I…?” Nadine shook her head.

“We were fighting all the time. All the time! And the more we fought, the more you lashed out and did reckless shit! What was I supposed to think? Here I was supposed to be looking after you and you were going out and getting drunk and high and tattoos. I was failing you—”

“No, Jace,” Nadine said quietly, shaking her head. “This wasn’t your fault.” She looked up at him finally understanding that all this time Jace had been blaming himself and she felt ashamed. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault but mine.”

“Then why?” Vanessa asked. “If it wasn’t us, what was it?”

“Mom,” Nadine said, voicing the fear that had plagued her for as long as she could remember. “I was afraid that I was turning into mom.”

The air seemed to be sucked out of the room with her admission. Jace slumped and Vanessa went pale.

“What did the doctors say?” Stevie asked, quietly. She was the only one who seemed to be able to form words.

Nadine shook her head. “They said I’m fine, that I was just overworked and stressed. They don’t believe that I have the same disease, but…” she shrugged. It was clear to the others that she didn’t believe the doctors prognosis.

“You’re nothing like her,” Jace said, his voice rough with emotion. “I mean, you look like her and you have her amazing talent, you even sound like her when you sing, but all that other stuff? You’re nothing like that.”

“But—”

Jace nailed her with a fathomless stare. “You don’t remember it like I do. I understand why you might have thought that you had similar traits, but it’s not the same. Mom was…”

“She was like this really fun pixie,” Vanessa said, “That’s how I remember her. She was like Tinkerbell spreading fairy dust everywhere until…”

“Until she was like the wicked stepmother,” Jace added. “The highs were incredible and when she wanted to, she was the best mom in the whole world. But the lows.” Jace stopped to drop his head into his hands. “God, the lows were horrible. She was violent and abusive. Dad was the only one who could calm her.”

Nadine remembered. She remembered the stitches Jace had to get in his forehead because she’d thrown a plate at the wall and a piece had broken off to hit him. She had been aiming for him but had missed him thankfully or the damage would have been worse. He had stepped in to shield Nadine who had been trying to comfort her mother, trying to cheer her up because she knew that she was sad and the last thing Nadine had wanted was for her mother to go into one of her moods. Jace was always stepping in to protect her. To protect both of them.

Jace looked up and straight at her. “You’re not mom,” he said.

“Okay,” she replied softly hoping like hell he was right.