Chapter Ten

I found myself going to lunch with Declan often over the next couple of weeks. I was seeing him more than Halle and Heather. Heather had moved on from my doctor, thank goodness. He admitted that he was a huge Star Trek fan and went to Comic Cons, and that was a total turn off for her. All wasn’t lost though, she moved on to his colleague Dr. Martin. They met during a date—Heather had been with Dr. Winters, and Dr. Martin was with another woman. Leave it to Heather to pick up a man when she’s out with another man. But not only was Heather occupied with the new doctor, Halle was suddenly busy all the time, and happy, like downright giddy. Her excuse was some new herbal treatment she was trying. I would have asked for some too if I wasn’t pregnant and paranoid about everything that went into my body.

Sometimes during lunch, Declan and I would look at homes in the nearby area. Declan seemed really interested in the new subdivision we looked at the first round of house hunting. I just couldn’t find anything that spoke to me or a place I could visualize the nursery. Declan kept trying to get me to make an appointment to see the red bungalow, but I couldn’t. I knew my budget and I was sticking to it. I only needed to look harder for the right place. It would probably help if I didn’t keep checking to see if the place by the pier had sold every day.

My parents were hoping I would wait until after the baby was born, and I was beginning to think they were right. By the time I negotiated, closed, and moved in, I would probably be right at my due date. It was frustrating. I always imagined when I was pregnant I would be decorating a nursery and nesting the whole time. I never pictured the craziness I’d been through.

I finally signed up for prenatal and breastfeeding classes. Those started in a week. I got my birth plan filled out. I was really hoping to go natural. I happened to watch a video of an epidural and no thank you. That needle was ridiculously long. The only question was who was going to be with me in the delivery room. My parents were out. I wasn’t sure how Heather would handle it, and she might just push me to get drugs. But Halle would completely fight against any pain meds even if it was in my best interest to get them. Maybe if both came they would even each other out. I could always hire a doula.

More decisions to make.

My twenty-eight-week appointment came. I wasn’t looking forward to taking the glucose test, but I had to admit I was looking forward to after the appointment. I had agreed to have lunch with Declan. He passed along to me from his sister to make sure I didn’t eat anything sugary the day before the appointment and to be well hydrated. It was sweet he was giving me tips and that he was taking such an interest in my pregnancy. He seemed fascinated with it. He was even good enough to bring me a lumbar seat for my office chair. He was the best friend ever. I was doing my best to keep it on the friendly side and he was good at reading me, so he wasn’t pushing it further. That was good, because I think he would be hard to resist.

It was another beautiful day, so I decided to walk to my appointment. It only took fifteen minutes. I signed in and did all the fun stuff like pee in a cup and get weighed. I had gained three pounds, which was a good thing. Then the torture began. They gave me this awful drink that tasted like concentrated orange soda. I barely got it down it was so disgusting. I gagged on it and felt like I was going to vomit. The nurse informed me if I did I would have to retake it. I really wanted to know who came up with these torturous events. I had to suffer for an hour, sitting there willing myself not to lose the contents of my stomach. It was uncomfortable too, as I had to stay in the waiting area. I’m sure I looked ridiculous doing whatever I could to keep my mind off how nauseated I felt. Anything from walking around to shifting every which way in my chair. And I was taking deep breaths like I was in labor.

I made it through the hour. That’s when the real fun began. Normally, blood doesn’t make me queasy at all, but I was in no state of mind when they drew my blood to test for the glucose levels. I lost it as soon as the nurse pulled the needle out. Yep, right there in the wastebasket. I’ve rarely been so embarrassed. To make matters worse I kept vomiting and then dry heaving. I had nurses running around all over trying to help me. Dr. Winters even got into the fray. The pretty-boy doctor finally set me up in an exam room. They got me comfortable on a table, threw a blanket over me, and turned down the lights, only keeping the ones that were above the counters on.

I was mortified as I lay there in the fetal position. I completely forgot about my lunch date until my phone buzzed about a hundred times. At a snail’s pace, I moved to reach into my purse that the nurses set on the chair next to me.

Declan had tried to call numerous times. I felt even worse. We had planned to meet at the new deli near the medical district. Even thinking about food made me want to throw up some more, even though there wasn’t anything left to go except the sips of water I had taken.

I called him and he immediately answered. “Are you okay?” Panic ran through every word.

“Yes and no.” I related my embarrassing tale.

“I’m coming to get you.”

“You don’t have to do that. I’ll call my dad or maybe I’ll feel better and I can walk back.”

“Give me the address. I’ll be in there five minutes.”

“I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Mel, I held your hair when you puked your guts out after drinking tequila for the first time.”

I had forgotten all the stupid and illegal stuff I had done with him around. “Okay.” I gave him the address and went back to ruing my existence. This was worse than all the morning sickness I’d ever had. That glucose should come with a warning label.

As promised, he was there in minutes. A nurse saw him back. He moved my purse and took the seat next to me. He stroked my head and hair. “I’m sorry you don’t feel good.”

I opened my eyes to see the care and concern in his. His face was closer than I thought it would be. It was kind of nice.

“Why didn’t you bring anyone with you?”

Tears welled up in my eyes. “I didn’t know I would need to. Besides, I have to do this alone.”

He caressed my cheek, wiping tears as they fell. “Why?”

“Because the one person that should have been here cheated on me and left me when I told him I was pregnant. He hated the thought of my baby so much he legally signed away any rights to him. Not only that, he told everyone the baby wasn’t his. I can’t count on anyone.” I don’t know why I was telling Declan all these things. Maybe so he would know where my head was or how broken I felt. The tears streamed down my face.

Even in the low light I saw Declan’s face tighten and change colors to a deep shade of red. “There are no words for what a piece of garbage he is.”

“You left me and accused me too.” Now I really didn’t know what I was saying. It was so long ago. But why did I still feel the sting of it? With perfect clarity, I could see him throw the promise ring into the ocean. I had never seen him behave in such a way. I curled more into myself. I felt so stupid bearing my soul to him like this.

His blue eyes widened, but his whole upper body seemed to deflate as he let out a huge breath. His hand rested on my cheek. “You don’t know how much I’ve regretted that over the years.”

“It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“It does matter, Mel. You matter. Your baby matters. I’m so sorry I ever hurt you.”

I closed my eyes. The emotions I felt coursing between us were too much at the moment. “I don’t feel good.”

“Rest.” He kissed my forehead. “I’m not going anywhere.” His tenderness only kept the tears flowing.

I wasn’t sure how long I lay there with Declan stroking my hair and rubbing my arm, but the nausea began to subside about the time Dr. Winters came in to check on me. He brought with him water, crackers, and his shiny smile.

I slowly sat up and ran my fingers through my curls. I no doubt looked like a train wreck.

Dr. Dreamy didn’t seem as interested with my new guest as he was with the ones I brought last time. Probably because Declan was better looking than him, at least I thought so. But he did shake his hand and introduce himself. I hoped he wasn’t going to mention Heather. And thankfully he never did.

I would have probably gotten a new doctor if it wasn’t for the fact I was already so far along, and I’d had enough disruptions in my care. I took a few sips of the water and rested the package of crackers in my lap. I was wary of any food.

Dr. Winters gave me a quick look over. “Why don’t you come back tomorrow for your appointment? I’ll have the front desk work you in.”

I nodded, grateful. I wanted nothing more than to get out of there.

Dr. Winters helped me off the table. From there Declan wrapped his arm around me. “Let’s get you home.”

I leaned into him and took comfort in his familiar embrace. But there was more to it. Something that felt new. He was no longer the boy who had captured my heart. It was as if I was incredibly aware of the man and what his hold was telling me. For the first time in months I felt wanted, but that terrified me.

Declan talked me into going home instead of to the office. It’s not like Daddy minded, but I didn’t want anyone to think I was getting special treatment. But all I wanted was my bed and to pretend my little episode never happened.

“Your doctor is sure pretty.” I guess that was Declan’s attempt to make small talk while he drove me home.

I rolled my head toward him and smiled. “Not as pretty as you.”

“Miss Dixon, are you complimenting me?” I loved when he pretended to be Southern.

“Thank you.”

He reached over and brushed his hand over my hair as if to say it was his pleasure helping me, but his grin took a lighter turn. “I want you to do something for me.”

“What?”

“I want you to come watch me race this weekend.”

“In North Carolina?”

“It’s only a three-hour drive.”

‘I’m pregnant, so add an hour to that time.” Three hours meant two to three restroom breaks.

“Does that mean you’ll come?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’ll map out the cleanest bathrooms and bring your favorite snacks.”

“Declan.”

“Please, Mel. I really want to share this with you.” He knew how to get to me.

I took a deep breath and let it out. “The snacks better be really good.”

His laughter filled the cab of his truck.

I missed that sound. I was realizing how much I missed him. I wasn’t sure how to process that. I hadn’t been pining over him, but now that he was back in my life he seemed to fill a piece of me that I hadn’t realized was missing. What did that mean?