CHAPTER NINE
Abby
I HURT. In places I’ve never hurt before.
Even now, fifteen hours since I left Tanner’s bed in the wee small hours, my muscles twang as a reminder of what I’ve done.
And how much I enjoyed it.
I didn’t know whether to be relieved or annoyed when Tanner didn’t front at Le Miel today. Whatever his reason, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.
What we’d done at the club, and later at his apartment...defied logic.
I should never have had sex with Tanner.
So why did I not give a damn that I had?
When he’d taken me to that private room at his club, I’d anticipated having a drink, then leaving. Then he’d got angry, taken off his shirt and I’d lost it.
I didn’t usually ogle guys. Sure, I appreciated a fine male body on Bondi Beach in summer like any woman with eyes in her head, but I didn’t fantasise about what guys looked like underneath their clothes.
Yet the second Tanner had shrugged off his shirt in defiance I’d wanted to see more. I’d wanted to see all of him.
I must’ve said the wrong thing and his misplaced anger had prompted him to strip. That was the point I should’ve called for a cab. Or laughed it off as a joke. Or done anything other than practically drool all over him.
He’d been a good sport about my naivety. Had tried to put me at ease with banter and I’d appreciated it. What I didn’t appreciate was my own stupidity wishing I could have more of him.
When I quashed my voice of reason and my inner vixen insisted I deserved one night of sexy fun, it should’ve ended there. One night.
But after he’d pleasured me countless times with his mouth, his fingers and his very talented and sizeable appendage, I wanted more.
Of course, I hadn’t said anything. Instead, I’d been the epitome of casual, like I had one-night stands every day of the week, when he’d kissed me goodnight. If he’d seen through my bravado act, he didn’t call me on it. For that, I was grateful.
Because I’d bolted in the wee small hours when he’d been asleep, and during the twenty-minute ride from his penthouse apartment in the city to my apartment over Le Miel I replayed every single moment of our night together and knew that acting like last night didn’t mean anything the next time I saw Tanner would take monumental acting skills I didn’t possess.
Bardley had always taunted me for being too readable. But he’d been wrong. If I were that easy to read he would’ve seen my loathing for him on my face every single day.
Thanks to Tanner, I now knew our lacklustre sex life hadn’t been my fault. How many times had Bardley called me frigid or cold or worse? Saying I didn’t turn him on. That I was as useless in the bedroom as I was in the kitchen.
I hadn’t cared about the sex, but insulting my cooking had been a low blow, particularly since I knew I baked like a dream even back then.
Screw him.
Though thankfully, I’d never have to do that again and courtesy of last night I’d replaced memories of a sad sex life with phenomenally amazing erotic ones.
‘You’re daydreaming again.’ Makayla bumped me with her hip. ‘You sure you didn’t pick up at Embue?’
I felt heat flush my cheeks but I feigned nonchalance as I scrubbed my station. We’d been busy today, frantic, supplying a local private school with pastries for a teacher conference, so I’d managed to avoid Makayla’s interrogation. Until now.
‘I’m not the one with a story to tell,’ I said, pasting a bright smile on my face. ‘You and what’s-his-name looked mighty cosy when I left last night.’
Makayla screwed up her face. ‘There’s a reason you date a guy and don’t go back.’ She held up her little finger and let it droop. ‘I’m smarter than that.’
I laughed, wondering what Makayla would say if she knew that a pinkie wouldn’t come close to describing Tanner.
‘What about you?’ Makayla grinned as she dried her hands on a dishcloth. ‘You’re not still mooning over our dishy boss?’
If only she knew the half of it.
‘Don’t be silly.’
‘Pity he’s working off-site today. He brightens up the scenery.’ Makayla pursed her lips and tapped them. ‘He’s nothing like Remy, is he?’
She got that right. Remy and Tanner might be biological brothers but that was where the similarities ended. I couldn’t think of two siblings who were so different.
‘Yeah, they’re nothing alike,’ I said, grateful Makayla had moved off the topic of last night and onto safer ground.
‘I’m not just talking about looks.’ Makayla struck a strong-man pose. ‘Tanner’s like this big tough guy who swaggers around, and Remy’s soft and gentle.’
Tanner could be soft and gentle when it counted, and I’d counted last night. Many times.
‘Do you know much about their background?’ Makayla leaned against the bench. ‘I don’t know Remy that well but you’ve worked here for a year. What’s the story?’
I shrugged. ‘We don’t talk much about our pasts.’
That was the truth. I’d divulged the basics to Remy about my crappy marriage and my dreams to become a pastry chef. He’d told me he’d opened this place many years ago, had never met the right woman and his only living family was Tanner.
When we chatted during a rare lull in our busy days, we talked pastries, the latest cooking reality show on TV and gave our critiques of the newest cookbooks.
I valued our friendship, especially since he’d offered me a place to live and a job when I’d needed it most, but we weren’t the kind of people to reveal too much. I preferred it that way. Until now. Because I’d give anything to discover what made Tanner tick.
‘If Remy hasn’t revealed much to you, maybe Tanner will?’ Makayla’s exaggerated wink made me laugh. ‘Don’t you love that whole bad-boy thing he has going on?’
‘Yeah, he’s hot.’ I settled for a smidgeon of honesty so Makayla wouldn’t think anything was wrong.
Like exactly how much Tanner had revealed to me, and how much I’d liked it.
Makayla blew a raspberry. ‘Queen of the understatement.’
‘What do you want me to say? That he’s so damn sexy I get hot flushes just thinking about him?’ I pretended to fan my face and Makayla grinned.
‘That’s more like it...’ She trailed off, as if unsure how to continue. ‘I’ve got a confession to make.’
For an awful moment I wondered if Makayla had slept with Tanner too. The thought made bile rise in my throat and I swallowed, feeling increasingly foolish.
Of course a guy like him would go for a girl like Makayla. She was a bombshell. Not to mention beautiful inside and out.
‘What’s up?’ I tried to fake nonchalance. It didn’t work when my voice came out a tad high.
Makayla screwed up her nose, but she couldn’t hide the twinkle in her eyes. ‘I saw you. Last night. Heading into the VIP room with Hot Stuff.’
I exhaled in relief, unaware I’d been holding my breath.
‘So you’ve been fishing for information this whole time?’
‘Gotcha.’ Makayla made a mock gun with her thumb and forefinger and fired it. ‘Come on, sweetie, ’fess up. Did anything happen between you two?’
I’d never had a best friend. The girls at my private school had been bitches, students at uni in the few years I attended were aloof and Bardley’s friends were as bland and boring as him.
In the few months I’d known Makayla I liked talking to her. Liked the way she breezed through life. Liked her exuberance and warmth and genuine enthusiasm for everything.
I could lie to her. Fob her off with some lame-ass vague response.
Instead, I found myself nodding, liking having a female confidante for once. ‘We hooked up.’
Makayla squealed and jumped up and down. ‘Hooked up as in kissed? Or hooked up as in—’ She made lewd bumping gestures with her hands.
‘Yeah, that.’ I felt heat flush my cheeks. ‘But you can’t say a thing, okay?’
‘Good for you, girlfriend.’ She made a zipping motion over her lips, but her silence lasted all of two seconds as she eyed me with obvious admiration. ‘The quiet ones are always the worst.’
Considering how I’d screamed the place down last night, I wasn’t so quiet.
Makayla slugged me on the arm. ‘I want details.’
I shook my head, not willing to divulge anything more. I didn’t want Makayla casting sideways knowing glances at Tanner and I sure as hell didn’t want him thinking I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.
I’d never been the type to blab my personal business and I wasn’t about to start now. ‘Sorry. I don’t kiss and tell.’
‘Fair enough.’ Makayla sighed, her grin goofy. ‘I’m happy for you, sweetie. You deserve to have a little fun. But if he has a brother other than Remy, let me know.’
She made a downward sign with her thumb. ‘I’m in a major slump. Both professionally and romantically. I’ve attended eight auditions in the last fortnight, nada. And my dating average is less than that.’
‘Those stage shows must be nuts not to hire you,’ I said, defending my friend when in fact I had no idea how good a dancer she was. Sure, she could burn up the dance floor with her disco moves but professionally I didn’t know how she performed. ‘As for guys, most of them have rocks in their heads, but you’re gorgeous and sweet. You’ll find a good one soon.’
A surprisingly vulnerable smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. ‘Hope you’re right, because I don’t do so well when I’m in a drought.’ She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. ‘I need a good man between my legs offstage so I can use my legs to create great dance moves onstage.’
‘Maybe that’s the problem? You’re after a good man when what you need is a bad man?’
We laughed and I impulsively leaned over to hug her. ‘Thanks for taking me out last night. I needed it.’
‘The dancing or the bad guy between your legs?’
‘Both,’ I said, my naughty grin matching Makayla’s. ‘Now, if you’re done interrogating me, can we lock up so I can catch up on some sleep?’
‘Sure,’ she said, pushing off the bench. ‘So he kept you up all night, huh?’
‘And then some.’
The way Tanner had touched me, stroked me, caressed me—everywhere—had blown my mind. I’d never imagined sex could be so good. He’d driven me to the brink so many times, teasing and tasting, before pushing me over with a skill that spoke of years of practice.
I should’ve felt jealous at the thought of him using his mastery on countless women in the past. Instead, all I could feel was grateful. Very, very grateful.
‘Come on, let’s close up before I begin to hate you.’ Makayla smiled and bumped me with her hip. ‘And a word of advice? Don’t overthink things with Hot Stuff. He’s not here for long, so you should be in this for a good time.’
Whatever ‘this’ was. Because right now I didn’t have a freaking clue. I’d labelled last night as a one-night stand. But from what I’d read in magazines, you didn’t usually have to see your one-night stand again. Me, I’d have Tanner in my face for the next few weeks.
Was I really that good an actress that I could pretend nothing had happened and erase the memories of him licking me all over?
Worse, did I want to?
I throbbed just thinking about what we’d done last night. How much stronger would the urge to jump him be when he was standing in front of me?
Did I have the willpower to resist another shot at achieving mind-blowing pleasure?
With the prospect of Tanner showing up for work tomorrow, guess I’d soon find out.