Chapter Twenty-five
Over the next few weeks, Phil saw nothing of Kim. The nanny was there to handle both his pickups and drop offs. Kim seemed to finally understand that he had no interest in any type of relationship with her. The result seemed to be that she was spending less time with Liam. The nanny had billed him over seventy hours each of the past two weeks.
He was also no longer receiving daily pictures or occasional updates about Liam. Now with no contact between visits, Phil found himself missing Liam more. He’d decided after the holidays he was going to speak to Lina about bringing Liam to the house two nights a week instead of the current one-night schedule. He needed more time with him.
When he arrived to pick him up for his usual Wednesday night visit, he was surprised when Kim answered his knock. He’d sent both her and the babysitter a text, as was his habit, giving her a ten-minute warning of his impending arrival. The nanny normally had him at the door and ready.
“Come on in,” she said, stepping back.
“Where is he?”
“In the family room.”
He brushed past her and into the foyer. “You knew what time I was coming. You should have had him ready.”
“I’m Liam’s mother, Phil,” Kim said, practically running to keep up with him as his long strides took him in the direction of the family room at the back of the house. “You can at least be civil to me.”
“Maybe if you started acting like his mother and didn’t leave him with a fucking babysitter eighty hours a week, I’d treat you civilly. Hey, buddy.” He smiled as soon as he saw Liam who was lying on his back in the middle of the playpen, twirling a plastic pony in his hands.
Liam immediately lost interest in the toy when he saw his father, grabbing the side of the playpen as he scampered to his feet. “Dadda!”
Phil could smell the dirty diaper even before he lifted Liam from the playpen. He held him out to Kim. “Christ,” he said under his breath. “Just hurry. I only have two hours. I don’t want to spend it here.”
“Why are you so stuck on time? I’m not. Keep him for three if you’d like.” She laid out a changing pad on the floor and took Liam.
“Dadda!” Liam protested, holding his arms out to Phil.
“Daddy isn’t leaving. I just need to change your diaper.” Kim said. “There’s a cute video I took of him yesterday if you want to watch it. It’s on my phone, right there.” She nodded toward her phone on the coffee table.
“I’m good.” He shoved his hands into his coat pockets.
“It’s just a video, Phil.”
“Just change his fucking diaper so I can get out of here,” he bit out.
Her whole body tensed up. “I don’t know why you have to be so hostile.”
“I told you I was picking him up at six ten. It’s now six fifteen and you seem in no hurry to get him ready. I’m not here to interact with you.”
She changed the diaper, put Liam in his winter coat, and silently handed him to Phil.
***
The venue for the holiday party was the ballroom at the Four Seasons in Baltimore. Phil wanted to make a day of it, getting down there early to stroll through shops and walk around the Inner Harbor. At first Lina resisted, not wanting to leave Megan, who had arrived home from college the evening before, but Phil was insistent, pointing out how seldom they had the opportunity to be alone.
When they arrived in their suite they were greeted by champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries. “Are you sure you want to leave the hotel?” Lina asked. She loved the Inner Harbor, but she couldn’t imagine leaving the luxurious room to walk around outside on a cold December day.
“No.” He was behind her, wrapping his arms around her. “Let’s order room service.”
Lina’s entire body hummed with the aftermath of sex. They’d spent the entire afternoon in bed or in the large bathtub in their suite. It wasn’t until she was dressed and applying the final touches to her makeup that nerves began to flutter around her stomach. She and Phil may have been back together for eight months, but it was the first time they were making an appearance in front of his entire firm since they’d reconciled. There was no doubt in her mind that every associate at the firm knew Phil had fathered a child with Kim.
“Okay?” Phil raised an eyebrow after coming out of the bathroom to find her making herself a drink at the minibar.
“I’m just thirsty.” She lifted the gin and tonic to her lips and took several long swallows. “Very thirsty,” she added before downing the rest of the drink.
“What’s going on?”
“Nerves. I don’t like the thought of people talking about us.”
His eyes registered understanding. “We’re old news. Josh Keating left his wife for the nanny. He’s bringing her tonight.”
“No!” Lina gasped. “He left Helen?” Josh Keating had been at the firm almost as long as Phil, and they’d attended his and Helen’s wedding a decade earlier.
“He did.”
“And he’s bringing the nanny? That’s awful.”
“And that’s what everyone’s talking about.” He took the empty glass from her hand, setting it on the minibar. “Ready?”
“Did you hear about Josh and Helen?” Diane snagged Lina almost as soon as they arrived. “He actually brought the other woman with him tonight. Wayne told me on the way over. It’s been less than a month.”
“I just heard,” Lina said. “Poor Helen.” As soon as the words left her mouth her thoughts shifted inward, knowing a year ago everyone was feeling the same pity toward her. She hated the thought. “Where’s Wayne?”
“Oh, who knows? Probably talking the ear off of some terribly important client.” She paused to take a crab ball appetizer from a passing waiter. “I shouldn’t eat this. I promised myself I’d be good tonight.”
“Why would you choose tonight to be good? Wait until after the New Year.”
“Easy for you to say. I’d be eating more than one of these if I had your slim figure. You look fabulous, by the way. When you and Phil walked in every head turned in your direction.”
“That’s probably because they were feeling sorry for me.” Lina finished the champagne in her glass. “I’m last year’s Helen.”
“Nonsense. You’re too beautiful to be pitied. You could have any man you want. Let’s find you another glass of champagne.”
***
Phil looked up from his newspaper at the sound of Lina stirring in the hotel bed. It was almost noon. She was going to have a nasty hangover. She couldn’t mix alcohols, especially when champagne was involved, and she’d done exactly that the night before. The last time was a New Year’s Eve when the kids were all young. She’d been in bed for two days, severely hungover, swearing she’d never drink again.
“What is that noise?” She groaned.
“I don’t hear a noise.”
“It’s your newspaper. Why can’t you read on your cell phone?”
He folded the paper and set it on the table next to the remnants of the breakfast he’d ordered from room service three hours earlier. “There are two aspirin and a glass of water on the nightstand.”
“Shh…Why are you yelling?”
“I didn’t realize I was.” He came to his feet. “Would you like some coffee?”
“No. Would you mind whispering? I don’t think you know how to talk in a low voice.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re not whispering. Please tell me I didn’t embarrass us last night.”
“You didn’t embarrass us,” he whispered.
“What?”
He crossed to the bed. The mattress shifted as he sat down beside her. “You didn’t embarrass us,” he whispered.
“I didn’t?”
“No.” He gently pushed her hair back from her face. She looked pale, nothing like the woman who’d danced until the wee hours of the morning. “You were the life of the party.”
“I feel terrible. I’m never drinking again.”
“Take the aspirin. They’ll make you feel better. I arranged for late checkout, so there’s no rush.” He’d stopped whispering, but she didn’t seem to notice.
“Did we leave the hotel last night?”
“We did. When the party ended at midnight, you joined several of the associates who knew all the hot nightspots. Luckily, you let me tag along.”
“Oh God. We went barhopping with your associates?”
“Is that a question, or are you starting to remember?”
“I’m remembering. I’m sorry.” She’d gone from irritable to remorseful.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. You’re allowed to have fun.”
“But your clients were there, and I know you see these things more as business events. I was a liability last night.”
“No. You were happy. And you didn’t really get started until after we left the hotel.”
“Did I get on a stage at some point?”
“You did.” He smiled at the memory of her joining the band at one of the bars.
She rolled away from him, groaning aloud. “I acted like Adele.”
“No, it was all you. It reminded me of that time you got up onstage at Rehoboth Beach, remember?” They’d been watching a concert as part of a Fourth of July celebration and she’d decided to join in, managing to skirt security and climb on the stage in her black bikini. He remembered thinking he was the luckiest guy in the world as he watched her dancing with the band.
“I was a sixteen-year-old girl, not a forty-two-year-old mother of three. And in front of your associates—it’s so embarrassing. I can’t imagine what they’re thinking today.”
“They’re thinking I have a smoking-hot wife. That’s what they’re thinking.” He stretched out on the bed beside her, curling his body to the back of hers. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You were letting off steam. You were incredible.” He brushed his lips over the back of her shoulder. “I couldn’t wait to get you back here.”
“I don’t remember—”
“We didn’t. You fell asleep on me.”
“What are you doing?” she asked when he began to push himself against her butt.
Phil smiled against her shoulder. “I’ll do all the work.”
“No!” She scooted across the bed to get away from him. “I feel like I might throw up and you’re talking about having sex with me.”
“Come back here. I’m teasing you.” He again situated himself behind her.
“It’s not funny.”
“I’m sorry.”
***
Lina felt like the worst mother and daughter-in-law on the face of the earth. Instead of spending time with her daughter who had just arrived home from college or her in-laws, who were visiting for the first time in a year, she’d been in bed recovering from the worst hangover of her life. What made matters worse was that she’d let everyone believe she was suffering from the stomach flu, which resulted in her mother-in-law fussing over her and lavishing her with attention she didn’t want or deserve.
“Here’s a fresh cup of ice chips,” Susan Hunter said as she came into the master suite for the third time that afternoon. “I’ve also brought some Gatorade. I know you said you didn’t want any, but it’s important to stay hydrated. You’ll feel better if you just take a little sip every five minutes or so. I found some crackers in the pantry. I used to give the boys saltines, but all you had was this whole wheat brand. It may be a little harder on your stomach—”
“Mom? What are you doing in here?” Phil asked, coming through the doorway.
“I was bringing her a few things.”
“What she needs is sleep.”
“It’s important she stay hydrated. A lot of people end up in the emergency room with the stomach flu because of dehydration. You look very pale. Have you taken your temperature?”
“No, because I’m actually feeling better,” Lina lied.
“I’ve scrubbed down all the bathrooms and the kitchen with Clorox. These flus are quite contagious. It would be awful for the children to come down with it on Christmas.”
“I wish you had let Phil do that,” Lina said, looking pointedly at him.
“I didn’t mind. It’s not like anything is dirty. Your house is always so—”
“Mom,” Phil interrupted, curving his arm around her shoulders. “Let’s let Lina sleep. Come on.” He steered her toward the door.
“Mom? Mom, are you awake? Mom?”
Lina awoke with a start, looking up at Logan, who was standing beside the bed. “Logan?”
“Are you awake?”
If it weren’t for her headache and the fact that he looked so serious she may have laughed at the absurdity of his question. “Yes. What’s wrong?” She held out her hand.
He jumped back before she touched him. “Grandma said you’re contagious.”
“No. I promise you I’m not contagious.” She patted the mattress. “Come and sit. I don’t want to have to look up that far.”
He sat down beside her but kept his hands firmly in his lap. “Do you think it would be weird if I gave Tiffany a Christmas gift? Brian and Will said I’ll look lame if I give her something since we aren’t, like, official or anything.”
“I don’t think that’s true. If you want to give her something, give her something. You really like this girl?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“Nothing too expensive, but something small would be fine.”
“Like a necklace?”
“A necklace sounds nice. You could check with your sisters. I’m sure they would help you pick something out.”
“I already picked it out. I just wanted to make sure it was okay to give her something.”
“Do you have a picture of it?”
He stood up and removed his phone from his pocket. “If I order it by five o’clock today, they’ll deliver it to her on Christmas Eve. For ten extra dollars they’ll gift wrap it.”
Lina looked at the image of a silver wire heart pendant hanging from a simple chain. “Oh, I like it.”
“I thought it was better than the lockets or the ones with the fake diamonds.”
“It’s beautiful. She’s obviously very special.”
“Do you want to see her picture?”
“I do.” Moments later she was looking at a picture of the girl who seemed to be capturing her son’s heart. There was no question she was attractive with her heart-shaped face and large green eyes, but she wasn’t as innocent looking as Lina had expected. The pose in the photo, from her head tilt to the slight pucker to her lips, was obviously perfected in a mirror.
“What’s the matter?”
Lina replaced her frown with a smile. “Nothing. I’m just having a hard time focusing. She’s very pretty.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, smiling down at his phone.
“I don’t like her,” Lina told Phil when he came into their bedroom in the early evening. “She’s too old for him and she looks”—she paused as she tried to think of the right word—“shallow. Like one of those girls who giggle just to get attention.”
He raised an eyebrow. “All this from a picture?”
“Yes.” She knew she sounded shallow herself, but she didn’t care.
“Imagine how you’re going to feel when you come home one day to find her groping him in the pool, tattoos covering one of her arms. Oh wait.” He smirked. “I think I’m getting confused. That was me meeting Matt for the first time.”
“It’s not funny.”
“Oh, I know. Believe me.”
“You like Matt.”
“I tolerate him,” Phil corrected. “Because you make me.”
“That’s not true. You like him. You just won’t let yourself admit it because you’re too pig-headed.”
“How come you always resort to name calling when you’re losing an argument?” He approached the bed.
“I resort to name calling because you’re frustrating to talk to sometimes. And I’m not losing this argument. That’s your overinflated ego talking, because it can’t handle losing.”
He pressed his knee onto the mattress as he leaned over her, placing his hands on the pillow on either side of her head. “There you go again.”
“Are you trying to intimidate me?” she asked, looking up into his eyes, which were inches from hers.
“Why? Am I?”
“No.” She laid her palms flat on his chest. “I still feel sick.”
“Are you trying to tell me you’re unwilling to fulfill your wifely duties?”
“Phillip,” his mother scolded, surprising them both with her sudden presence. “She’s sick and in all likelihood contagious.”
“Mom, do you mind?” he asked, continuing to stare down at Lina. “We’re not teenagers.”
“You’re certainly acting like one.” She paused beside the bed, balancing a tray. “I made Lina some broth.”
Phil pushed off the bed, coming to his feet. “Happy?” he asked his mother.
“I will be after you wash your hands.” She nodded toward the bathroom.
Lina stifled a smile as she watched him follow his mother’s orders. It was as if they were sixteen and seventeen again and living in his parents’ house. His parents had allowed them to share a room—Lina had been too afraid to be alone—but they’d insisted on having unfettered access, regularly entering their room without warning to deter them from engaging in what his Catholic parents referred to as immoral behavior.
“How are you feeling, dear?”
“Better. Just a little tired.”
“Do you think you can keep down some broth?”
“I think so.”
Phil emerged from the bathroom. “All clean.” He walked over to the bed, leaned down, and dropped a hard kiss on Lina’s mouth before winking at his stunned mother and leaving the room.
“Why does he want to be sick?” Mrs. Hunter asked.
“I don’t have the flu,” Lina said. “It was something I ate or drank. Several people from the party are feeling the same way I am.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, Lina decided, figuring at least a few others had to have hangovers.
“That’s awful. You’d think a hotel of that caliber would be more careful.”
“You can just set that on the dresser,” Lina said. “I’m not quite ready for it yet.”
Mrs. Hunter complied, and then instead of leaving, she lingered. “Oh, would you look at that.” She picked up the photo on the nightstand of Lina and Phil as teenagers. It was taken at the beach. Lina was sitting on his lap and he had his arms wrapped loosely around her with his chin resting on her shoulder. “The two of you haven’t changed a bit.”
“I think we’ve changed a little.”
“Not really.” She stared at the photograph for several more seconds before replacing it. “I’m so happy you were able to find it in your heart to forgive him. He was lost without you. A big part of who he is is tied into you. He thinks of himself as your protector. It’s been that way since he saved you and Shiloh. Anything other than the two of you together felt so wrong.”
“I know.”
“Are you happy? I mean, I know you’re not feeling well right now, but otherwise, are you happy?” She sat down on the edge of the bed, her eyes full of concern. “You seem happy, the two of you.”
“We are. It’s challenging sometimes dealing with—with Liam’s mother, but I think it’s just going to take some time.”
“Jeanie told me about the awful things she did to you, sending you those pictures and…” She seemed to struggle to find the right words. “I’ve been praying for her because there’s clearly something dark inside a person who would go to such lengths to hurt you like that.”
“There is,” Lina agreed.
“You know if you ever need anything, Bruce and I are always here for you. We love you and Phil and the kids so much,” she whispered, her voice breaking.
“I know.” Lina squeezed her hand. “We love you, too. And please don’t worry about us. We’re fine. We’re going to be fine.”
***
Later that evening, while Phil was watching a movie in the family room with his parents, Logan, and Megan he received a text from Kim. It was a picture of Liam smiling as he sat in front of a cake with one burning candle, a birthday hat propped atop his head. Phil felt a tug in his heart as he looked at the joy in Liam’s eyes. Memories of Logan’s, Megan’s, and Katie’s first birthdays flooded Phil’s mind. He remembered them all, their attempts to blow out the candle, Logan’s beaming smile when Lina brought in a dozen helium-filled balloons, Megan’s delight at all the attention, and Katie ignoring the guests in favor of her enormous pile of gifts. It hit him that he’d never have those memories of Liam.
“Oh my God!” Megan cried from beside him. “I got straight As again! My chem grade just came in.”
Phil darkened the display, setting the phone back on the coffee table as he turned to Megan, joining his parents in their words of praise. “Excellent, sweetheart.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pressed his lips against her forehead. “I’m proud of you.”