D's mouth gapes open at my admission while I chew on my bottom lip, anxiously waiting for her to talk.

“I... it’s… Holy shit, Tay!” she exclaims, her arms thrown out beside her.

Covering up my face, I groan out, “I know, I’m such a whore!”

D arrived back from the ski trip two hours after Kai dropped me off. She was so excited to tell me about her secret kiss with a guy when the ball dropped at midnight. It’s safe to say I win the hookup lottery after telling her every nitty-gritty detail of what went on last night.

“I had no idea you were such a sex pest!” I throw my pillow at her but she catches it. “Seriously, I told you to have fun, but you took it to a whole other level.”

“Ergh! What am I supposed to do?”

She narrows her eyes at me. “What do you mean? You just had hot one-night-stand sex with two incredibly sexy men. You smile like you mean it and have hot dreams about them.”

“I meant about my job.”

She shrugs. “The ball’s in your court as far as I’m concerned. Besides, you've always been far too good to end up as someone’s assistant. You should totally blackmail him for job perks and a raise.”

I groan. “I can’t blackmail my boss, D. I don’t have it in me.”

Smirking, she climbs off my bed and stretches out her long limbs. “I didn’t think you had it in you to go home with two strangers, but you did.” She laughs as I cover my eyes in shame again. “Stop worrying about everything. You don’t go back to work for two days, let’s go out and enjoy ourselves!”

I watch her doing the running man in front of me, my mood lifting. “Fine, but you need to get me wasted to take my mind off being a jobless whore.”

She starts rooting through my tiny closet, presumably looking for something for me to wear. “You are not jobless.”

“A-ha! So you admit that I’m a whore!”

She throws out the dark denim jeans that hug my ass like nothing else ever has. “Can I borrow a shirt? I don’t think any of mine are clean.”

I roll my eyes but tell her, “Sure.”

She comes out wearing a black halterneck. “What about this?”

I twist my head to the side, pretending to study her but really, she looks good in anything. Bitch. “Hmmm. What about the blue one I got for Christmas?”

Her nose scrunches up. “Hell no, it’ll clash with my skin tone.”

“I’d love to be as tan as you.”

She raises a brow. “I’m not tan, I’m mixed race. Big difference.” She smooths out the fabric over her slim stomach. “Oh, and you’re not a whore either, but if you do end up jobless, at least you have a backup plan.”

She runs away as I swat at her. “You’re going to end up friendless.”

“Get ready!” she shouts from her room, laughter in her tone.

I don’t know what I’d do without her. Humor has always been her way of getting me out of my funks. That and tequila—lots and lots of tequila.

* * *

Lights blinding—check.

Mouth sandy as a desert—check

Small man dancing in my head—check.

I vow to never drink again.

Sitting up slowly, I swivel around, draping my legs over the side of the bed without opening my eyes. “Errgghhh,” I groan, standing shakily and having to steady myself on the wall to my right.

I brave opening an eye again, having to peel it apart because the fake eyelashes D made me wear are sticking my eyes together. I go through the same process with the other eye, squinting at the brightness of the room burning my retinas. Apparently I never closed my blinds when I came in last night.

I’m still fully clothed so I undress and wrap my fluffy robe around my body. Sufficiently warm, I walk out into the living room of the small apartment D and I have lived in for the last three years.

“Good afternoon,” I hear a husky voice say, and when I turn toward the body that's relaxed on my sofa, I let out a little squeak.

“Zander?” I smooth down my hair in vain, cringing at the fact I look like this while he looks like I’ve peeled him off the cover of Inked Magazine.

“I’m guessing you feel how you look?” His question is playful and the fact he bites his lip after saying it has my body humming for him despite my nasty hangover.

“I…” I motion between us. “Did we…?”

“Fuck?” he states, standing and making me take notice of the black ripped jeans he’s wearing. My gaze moves up to a khaki shirt, the sleeves rolled up showing the tattoos on his forearms. “Baby, if we fucked you’d know about it.”

I gulp at the intensity in his eyes, pointing behind me. “I… I’m going to go and hide in the bathroom before the ground swallows me up from sheer embarrassment.”

He chuckles, deep and low. “Take your time, I’m not going anywhere.”

His statement sends tingles through my nerve endings as I step inside the bathroom. I blow out a breath as I press my back against the door, leaving him on his own in my living room. Zander is in my freaking apartment. What the fuck is he doing here and why can’t I remember past the seventh shot of tequila I poured down my throat last night?

Stripping off, I turn on the shower, climbing in and scrubbing my body within an inch of its life before toweling off and applying cocoa butter everywhere. I brush my teeth as I wipe off the mirror, gasping at the sight of myself.

Mascara is running down my face and one of the fake eyelashes is stuck to my forehead acting as a third eyebrow. And can we not mention the smeared red lipstick across my cheek and chin?

I groan, wiping everything off with makeup remover, wrapping my hair in a towel, and putting my robe back on.

Taking two deep breaths, I open the door, running across the living room and into my bedroom. Shutting the door behind me on the deep chuckle sounding outside, I dig in my closet for a pair of leggings, pulling them up my legs and putting on an oversized gray sweater.

I only partially dry my hair and twist it up on top of my head in a messy bun before blowing out a breath and taking stock of how I’m feeling: like ten tons of shit, but at least I don’t look it anymore.

Opening my door, I watch Zander in my kitchen making coffee. His movements are so fluid it reminds me of how it felt to be touched by him. He stirs each cup exactly five times before washing the spoon, drying it and placing it back into the draw robotically.

“Are you going to come say hi or stand there staring?” He glances up at me, dark-brown eyes connecting with mine, rendering me speechless. “It is your thing after all so no judging.”

“I…” I make myself walk toward him, taking the cup he offers me out of his hands and blowing on it. “What are you doing here? I thought the point of a ‘one-night stand’ was to not see each other again?”

He leans back against the counter on his hands, not taking his focus off me. “Beats me, Taylor, it really does.”

“Erm, okay...” I wrack my brain to find an explanation as to why he’s here, coming up empty because I can’t remember a freaking thing. “I think after D—shit, D!”

“Your friend?”

“You’ve seen her?”

He motions toward the door. “Yeah, she left after I got back here this morning.” A chuckle starts to fall from his beautifully crafted lips. “She said to tell you you’re not a whore."

I shut my eyes, not wanting to look at him as his chuckle turns into a full-blown laugh. “Oh my God! I’m going to kill her.” I’ve known D since I was in sixth grade, but she is seriously testing our fourteen-year friendship.

He steps toward me, his hand whispering down my cheek, making my eyes flutter open. I stare into the dark depths of his as he asks, “Why did you try and find me last night?”

His tone is serious and it takes me a minute to realize what he said. “Find you?”

At my confusion, he takes a step back. “You don’t remember?” I shake my head and he looks away before glancing back at me. “You went to Kai’s apartment building last night, but you were asking for me.” I groan. Why would I do that? “Kai went away on business, but the doorman knows me and called telling me there was a drunk girl calling my name.”

Swallow me up, please, ground, open and swallow me whole!

“You weren’t our first rodeo of course so it could’ve been anyone until I got him to describe you.” He paces into the living room, bracing his hands on the back of the sofa, his muscles tense. “I don’t know what it is about you, Taylor, but—” He freezes in place, his hands clenching and unclenching before shaking his head. “I have to go.”

“Wait!” I call, wanting answers, but he’s already out the door and closing it behind him, leaving me standing in my kitchen wondering what in the hell just happened.

* * *

I sent Kai to England on his own because I knew I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the business with Taylor occupying my every thought. He wasn’t happy when I messaged telling him I wasn’t going. I said I wasn’t up to it, keeping my reasons vague, but he’s not stupid. We’ve known each other for seven years and he’s always been there through all the shit I’ve struggled through.

But I couldn’t leave well enough alone with Taylor. I had to ask him if she was still there. When he said she was I almost threw my phone across the room and marched over there, but Reg stopped me from making a huge mistake.

Or what I thought would’ve been a huge mistake.

So when I picked up a call in the middle of the night last night to Kai’s doorman telling me there was a woman outside calling my name, I had to go see if she really was a mistake or the beginning of something real no matter how much it scared me.

Marty—Kai’s doorman—points to the waiting cab outside. I push my shoulders back and walk toward it, my heart pounding out of my chest as Taylor’s gaze meets mine.

I try to act unaffected as I lean in the window. “Well well well, what do we have here?”

Taylor pouts, her perfect lips teasing me. “Where were you? We’ve been”—hiccup—"waiting for hours.”

“No we haven’t,” her friend supplies, leaning over Taylor and putting out a hand. “D, and you are?”

“Taking you home,” I comment, opening the car door and passing bills to the cab driver before picking Taylor up in my arms like a baby.

Her friend shuffles out of the cab, following me over to my car. “I’m not getting into a stranger’s car.”

I place Taylor on the passenger seat and buckle her in. “I can call the cab back if you’d prefer?" I don’t have the time nor the patience for drunken women tonight.

She screws up her face as I open the back door for her, her gaze darting to the back seats. “I swear to god if you kidnap us I’ll be so mad at Tay.”

I usher her into the car and make sure she puts on her seatbelt before asking for her address first.

“We live together.”

I roll my eyes as she reels off the address and doesn’t stop talking the whole way there. She’s a never-ending record and I have to refrain from telling her I like silence. It doesn’t help that Taylor fell asleep after I put her in here, leaving me to the mercy of her chatty friend.

We arrive at their apartment block and I look up at it from the lot. I never realized the direction we were driving in. It’s deathly close to where I grew up and I don’t like them being here one little bit.

“This is where you live?”

“Yeah, it’s not much but it’s ours. Are you coming up?” Taylor’s friend—who I’ve already forgotten the name of—asks. Her question is laced with a sultry tone and I have to refrain from rolling my eyes.

I ignore her, unplugging Taylor’s seatbelt and climbing out of the car, walking around and lifting her out while her friend stumbles beside us, tripping as we near the doors.

“Would you watch where you’re going, I can’t look after both of you,” I snap, taking a deep breath when her eyes widen. “Sorry, I’m tired. Come on, open the door and I’ll get her into bed.”

I’m being a total shit and it’s nothing to do with her and everything to do with me. I don’t like being in this neighborhood which is stupid since my whole time lately is occupied with opening a gym around here. What a great idea that’s turning out to be.

“The elevator's broken,” she slurs as I start to walk toward it, halting my steps.

“After you then,” I grit out, motioning toward the stairs while peering down at Taylor’s sleeping face. I’d say she looked like an angel, peaceful even, if it wasn’t for her mouth hanging open and drool soaking into my shirt.

After three flights of stairs and three tries to get the key in the door, we're finally in. I screw up my nose at the pink fluffy cushions on the sofa, glancing up at the three doors around the room. “Which one’s hers?”

She points toward the one on the right and I walk over to it, managing to open it with her still in my arms. Her room is small containing a double bed, desk, and a door to my left which I assume is a closet.

I place her down on the bed, brushing her hair out of her face. Fuck, she’s beautiful. I’d love to climb into bed with her right now.

With that thought I reel back, pushing away from her and walking out of the room, closing the door behind me.

“You’re not staying?” her friend asks, perched on top of the sofa with a glass in her hands.

“Absolutely fucking not.”

Gripping my hair in my hands, I growl in frustration, climbing into my car and getting the fuck out of there. I was up all night convincing myself that I did the right thing in leaving, but the truth is, I couldn’t sleep because she was all I could think about.

That scares the shit out of me. So why the hell did I go back this morning?

I pull the vibrating cell out of my pocket as I unlock the front door to my house, walking inside as I say, “Hello?”

“Dude! I’ve been trying to call for the last three hours.”

I sigh into the phone at Kai’s voice. I’ve been avoiding his calls. “I’ve been busy. How’s England?”

“Boring. I could do with some company.”

I flop down onto my sofa, playing with a rip in my jeans. “Call someone.” And by someone, I mean anyone but me.

He’s silent so I pull my cell away, checking we haven’t been disconnected. “Kai?”

“Yeah, man, I’m still here.”

“Stop being a mopey dickhead and call Sofia or Emma. Or Francheska. Or—”

“I get it.”

“Go have yourself some fun. You’ve got nothing scheduled until tomorrow.” I scrub a hand down my face, my stubble longer than I’m used to it being as it scrapes against my palm.

“What you doing?”

I don’t have the time to sit and have a mothers’ meeting right now. “Having an unnecessary conversation with you.”

He snorts. “Dick. I meant what have you been doing to keep you so busy.”

I contemplate the direction this is going in. I could be honest and tell him how I’m really feeling. He obviously picked up on my mood the other night. But then again, I could completely brush him off like I seem to always do lately. The latter sounds like the easier option.

“Sleeping, I was up late last night.”

“Sounds like you’ve got something on your mind.”

I sigh, he isn’t going to drop it. “I can’t stop thinking about Taylor.” Deathly silence greets me. “Kai?”

He clears his throat. “I’m here, I just… Z, we need to talk when I’m back.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Gotta go, man, room service is here but we’ll talk when I get back in a couple of days.”

“Kai, don’t fucking hang up on me. What do you need to talk about? Is it Taylor?”

“Yeah… Taylor.”

My mouth turns drier than a desert at his admission and I sit up, clenching my free hand into a fist on my leg. “What?”

“There’s just something about her. I don’t want you making a mistake and it end up setting you back.”

I can’t reply, defensiveness swarming through me. I clear my throat, keeping my voice neutral. “She definitely wasn’t a mistake.”

“You think?”

In one smooth motion I launch my cell at the wall, smashing it to pieces as my chest heaves.

“Shit!” I shout, kicking the broken pieces and fisting my hands in my hair.

He was only voicing what I was thinking just last night, but my internal middle finger is raised high in his direction right now. I know he’s only trying to look out for me but I’m a grown man. I can make my own decisions, or my own mistakes.