Kim

"Your mother has been sedated," the ER doctor tells me as she comes out into the hall where I've been waiting. "We can keep her here for observation, but there's not much else we can do. She is already seeing a specialist for her condition, right?"

I nod. I've been hearing pretty much the same thing from doctors my whole life. She needs psychiatric help and she needs medication to keep her stable, but she's getting all that and she never got better. Sometimes I like to think I remember her as a happy young woman from the years before my dad died, but I don't really have that memory. I just wish I did, so I made it up. For her sake more than my own. My mother deserves some happiness and calmness.

"Better keep her here for the night," I tell the doctor, who nods and tells me to follow her, so I can arrange the paperwork.

If I take Mom home now, she'll just freak out again when she realizes Russell isn't there. His phone is still going straight to voicemail, and I've called so many times my own phone's almost out of battery. I called Tank once too, but he didn't pick up or call me back.

It's for the best that way, since I don't know what I'll say to him. Which isn't the same as saying I won't make him answer every one of my questions. Just not tonight. Too much has already gone wrong tonight, and the kiss he gave me before the play started is by far the only good thing that's happened. Despite my fears and doubts about his true intentions, it's still the best thing that's happened in the last two days. I'm not ready to have it all trampled to dust. I can't face that tonight.

My phone starts ringing while I'm filling out the forms and my first reaction is icy dread, since I'm afraid it's Tank and all my fears will be made real.

But it's Russell, and I actually grin in manic relief as I pick up.

"Where have you been?" I ask.

"Where are you and your mother?" he asks in a shaky, but stern voice.

"At Mercy hospital, the ER," I tell him. "Mom had an attack after you just disappeared like that."

He sighs. "I'll be right there. Tell her not to worry."

Then he hangs up before I can say anything more.

The wind's blowing very cold while I wait for him at the entrance to the ER. He arrives in his own car, no bodyguards in sight, and he's still wearing the suit he wore to the play, with his tie crooked and his shirt un-tucked on one side. His greying hair is a mess, about as bad as it is in the mornings before he combs it. I've never seen Russell this disheveled in public, the man combs his hair before he goes outside to pick up the paper from the driveway.

"What's wrong, Russell?" I ask. "What happened to you?"

"Where's your mom?" he asks, and I don't think he's ignoring my questions, he's just too frazzled to understand them.

"They sedated her. She'll be asleep for a few hours now," I tell him. "What's going on? Why did you just leave us there like that?"

"I had no choice," he says, running his fingers through his hair and messing it up even worse. "But it's fine now. I'll resign from the election and retire tomorrow and then it'll all be fine."

I've never seen Russell this agitated, this scared.

"Why are you resigning?" I ask.

He looks at me, his eyes very wide, and I can clearly see him struggling with trying to find an excuse. Then he draws a deep breath and nods. "I did a lot of thinking tonight. That's why I just left the play. Because what I'm doing to your mother, to you, suddenly made no sense anymore. Why torture the poor woman, the woman I love more than anyone else, just so I can say I was Sheriff? She'd never accept it, she'd just suffer, and for what? For my own glory?" he says and he sounds totally sincere. "It's not worth it. Not worth it, because it'll make our life together into a tragedy to rival that of Romeo and Juliet."

"That's very thoughtful and kind of you, Russell," I say, and I do mean it, but I can't quite keep the doubt out of my voice. I've rarely seen Russell lose his composure, and to this extent, never. But he's talking like he means it.

"My family is more important to me than anything else," he mutters.

I wrap my arm under his and smile at him. He sounds sincere and this is better than any outcome to tonight's events that I dared hope for. "Thank you, Russell. Let's go wake up Mom now so you can tell her all this."

For the first time since I came here about two months ago, for the first time in over a year it seems, I feel happy and hopeful. No, that's not entirely true. Tank made me feel happy and hopeful all the time, it just wasn't as clearly discernible beneath the lust, passion and love he also made me feel. But all that was built on lies.

"She should rest," Russell says, but lets me lead him inside anyway.

"Nonsense," I say. "Mom wants to hear this."

And once I witness the sheer happiness I know Russell's decision will give her, I’ll be able to face Tank too. I will be able to face the destruction of what I thought would be my forever.

* * *

Mom finally woke up at midnight, we couldn't rouse her no way no how before then. She was still groggy and shaky when Russell started telling her his news, but by the time he was done, she was wide awake and more happily excited than I've seen her in a very long time. This wasn't some drug induced euphoria either, she was genuinely happy.

We're home now and she's sleeping again. I'm in my old bedroom, and I can hear Russell pacing from room to room downstairs. He's been doing it all night, while I've sat on my bed trying to decide what to do. Dawn's breaking outside and Tank hasn't called me back yet.

I want to call him, get my answers, find out the truth. But I think I already know it.

I spent all night deciding whether I should tell Russell I know what happened to him last night. That I know he was threatened into ending his campaign and retiring. That I most likely know the guy who threatened him. That I might have inadvertently played a role in his abduction.

On the one hand, what's done is done, and Russell has made his choice. A good choice. One that will save my mom a lot of pain. But on the other hand, my righteous mind can't rest easy with the knowledge that a good man was forced to abandon his career, the thing he's worked all his life to achieve, so that lying criminals can go on doing what they've always done in peace.

But I love Tank.

I can't deny that.

And I can't deny that my mother will be a lot happier if Russell retires today.

I also can't think anymore. My head's spinning from all the thinking I've already done.

Russell's on the phone in the living room when I come down, explaining in an agitated tone to whoever's on the other line that they need to call a press conference for ten o'clock and that he'll explain everything when he gets there.

"Want some coffee?" I ask him as he passes the kitchen on his way upstairs, but he just shakes his head and continues on up the stairs.

Half an hour later, he comes back downstairs dressed for work.

"I'll be back in a couple of hours," he tells me. "Please stay in the house until I return."

I want to go to my apartment, shower and change, maybe try and get some sleep, but he's talking in that same stern, worried tone that he used last night when he convinced me to sleep in my old bedroom and wouldn't even let me get my pajamas.

"Why?" I ask anyway. "Am I in danger?"

"Just do it, Kim. OK?" he says in a clipped voice, glaring at me until I nod.

I don't think Tank would harm me, no matter what Russell believes. But can I be sure?

Mom comes down right after Russell leaves, all chipper and excited. She jabbers on while making eggs and toast, telling me he only went to the office to resign, and that we need to turn to Channel 4 for the official press conference at which he'll announce his retirement. I love seeing her this happy, but that doesn't help my dark thoughts about Tank, about the way he betrayed me, about how everything we shared was a lie.

Just as he promised, Russell makes his announcement at ten o'clock. At eleven thirty I hear the front door opening as he returns home. Mom runs to greet him, and I slip out while they're hugging and kissing.

I have to call Tank. I have to know what's what. And I won't let Russell stop me.