Chapter Ten
The day of the party at Austin’s boss’s house dawned bright and chilly. Mia was still queasy but she was living with it, knowing that eventually the virus would pass. Except it had been almost five days and she was starting to get nervous. Stomach viruses typically lasted a short time. Food poisoning wasn’t possible. So there wasn’t much of a reason for the nausea to persist except for the one she didn’t want to think about.
So she didn’t. Not yet. She would still hope for possibility that this was temporary and not life altering.
If she looked ahead, thank goodness things were getting closer to wrapping up with her ex-boss. On Wednesday she would to go to the city and go through trial preparation against Parker, and the thought didn’t help her stomach issues, that was for certain.
She had no problem telling what she’d seen, what she’d taped, or what she’d heard and reported to the police. She just dreaded the cross-examination. It was brutal and ugly and she hated the whole process. But she knew the district attorney would go over the usual suggestions: give short answers, only answer what they ask, don’t go off on tangents, and tell the truth. Right. While Parker glared daggers at her across the room.
She placed a hand over her stomach and breathed in deep. It was time to get dressed. When asked, Austin had insisted she should be casual for Dan’s party, but Mia was meeting Summer Michelle, a woman she’d admired from afar since her days on Star Power. Her voice, her talent, and how she’d risen above a viral video that could have derailed her career but somehow only made it stronger, all were things to respect. Plus, she was famous. It was a cool thing and Mia wanted to look good.
Not to mention she was meeting Austin’s friends and coworkers and she hoped to make a decent impression. So she chose a pair of jeans in deference to dressing casual, and her favorite cold-shoulder shirt and a pair of black boots. She pulled her hair into a deliberately messy bun and added makeup to cover her pale cheeks. And then she headed to meet up with Austin in the kitchen.
* * *
Austin pulled up to Dan’s, a white house with black shutters, and from the cars along the street, they weren’t the first ones there. Mia had been quiet on the way and he was worried she still didn’t feel well. But she didn’t seem to want to talk and he gave her space until they pulled up to the curb and he parked.
“You ready to go in?” he asked.
“Yep.” She flashed him an obviously forced smile.
“Hey.” He placed a hand over hers. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
She nodded. “I am. And I’m excited to meet Summer… and of course your friends. So let’s go!”
He shot her a concerned look, not really buying the I’m fine claim, but what could he do?
He led her to the house, and before they could open the door, it flung open. “Austin!” Dan said. “I saw you coming up the walk and I wanted to greet you and your pretty guest.”
Austin glanced at Mia, who blushed at the compliment. “Dan, this is Mia Atwood. Mia, meet Dan Wilson, my boss.”
“A pleasure,” Mia said with a smile. “Thank you for having me over.”
“The pleasure is mine. Come in, you two. Everyone is in the kitchen. You know how it is,” he said to Austin. “We all gravitate there.” He laughed and gestured inside the house.
Austin led Mia toward the kitchen and family room, where his friends and coworkers had congregated.
He introduced Mia to Ava Talbott, Jared Wilson, Dan’s son, and Ben Hollander. The other members of the team, Shane Landon and Tate Shaw, were away doing freelance work, which made it a small party.
“Where’s Summer?” Austin asked, knowing how much Mia wanted to meet the pop star and Ben’s fiancée.
“I’m here!” Summer strode out from the back of the house, a wide smile on her face.
With her jet-black hair and stunning, wide brown eyes, she was beautiful. These days Austin preferred petite blondes with green eyes, but he could appreciate Ben’s good fortune.
“It’s good to see you!” Austin pulled her into a friendly hug.
“You, too.”
Ben wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
“Summer, this is my—Mia Atwood.” Austin wasn’t sure what he’d been about to say and he quickly changed the subject. “Mia’s a huge fan.”
Summer flushed. “I still can’t get used to people saying that,” she murmured.
“It’s well deserved,” Mia said. “I’m so glad to meet you. I love your music.”
“Thank you.”
“Hey, man, let’s let the women talk. I want to catch up,” Ben said. “I hear Dan has some fun new gadgets in his office. Let’s go check things out in there.”
Austin shot Mia a questioning glance and she nodded, a big smile on her face. Obviously she was feeling better because she definitely didn’t mind being left with Summer.
He gave her shoulder a squeeze, a gesture that he needed more than her, if only to reassure himself she was fine. Her mood lately had been off, at least since she’d been sick.
He and Ben each grabbed a bottle of beer before Austin followed Ben out of the kitchen and down the hall, past the bathroom to Dan’s office. He’d broken down a wall, making two rooms into one large room so that when he worked from home, he could still monitor things going on with work.
Austin rolled the bottle between his hands, not really in the mood for a drink.
“It is good to be home,” Ben muttered, sinking into a chair across from Dan’s big oak desk.
“I bet. Where are you staying?” Ben and Summer both had apartments in the city.
“My place is bigger, so we moved in there.” Ben tipped back the bottle for a sip. “But I want to find something larger. More space, more … I don’t know. Windows.” Ben laughed.
“So what’s it been like?” Austin asked his friend. “Insane fans and living out of hotels?”
“Pretty much but I have to tell you, as long as I’m with Summer, it’s all good.” Ben’s satisfied smile said it all. He was settled and happy with his choices.
“I’m happy for you. Where are Dan’s new gadgets?” Austin asked, glancing around the room and seeing only the usual monitors, cabinets, and documents scattered around.
Ben grinned. “Actually I just wanted to catch up and didn’t know how much you’d talk around your guest.”
He eyed Austin carefully but he didn’t flinch, unwilling to give up information to his suddenly nosey friend.
Ben rolled his shoulders and let out a heavy sigh. “Fine. Let’s get specific. Dan tells me you had some issues with the ex? You wrap that up okay?”
“I did. Thank fucking God.” Austin blew out a calm, relieved breath.
The kind he’d been exhaling since taking care of Kayla and receiving a call from the cops that they’d booked her along with her boyfriend for selling and possession.
Ben nodded his approval. “And how is your cute kid?”
“Good.” At the mention of Bailey, Austin grinned. “But she’ll be better when I can bring her home.” He explained Mia’s current situation to his friend. “I just want that wrapped up before I take Bailey from my parents. Just to be safe. But I’ve been visiting often.”
“I get that.” Ben tipped the bottle, taking a sip of his beer. “So what about you?”
“What about me?” he asked warily. What else had they been talking about if not Austin’s life? What else was there?
“So last time someone brought a strange woman to one of Dan’s parties—”
“You were protecting her?” Austin filled in the end of the sentence before Ben could leap to another conclusion.
He snorted. “I was going to say, I wanted her. And I’m wondering what’s going on with you and Mia.”
Austin blew out a long breath. He placed the bottle down on a table and met Ben’s gaze. Obviously his friend wasn’t going to let him off the hook and it wasn’t like he couldn’t use a friend to talk to. “If I was going to get serious about anyone, it would be Mia. But—” How did he explain?
“You’re still fighting the inevitable. I remember those days well. I got it.” Ben shook his head in definite understanding and commiseration.
It wasn’t the same thing. Ben’s history and issues had been with Summer herself. Austin’s problems were tangled up with betrayal and hurt and a little girl he couldn’t afford to put in the middle of something and have her get hurt.
“I can’t let myself get serious again. I can’t risk Bailey getting attached and me deciding it’s not working out.”
Ben rolled his eyes. “You’re certainly very protective of Mia, considering you brought her here when you could have just had someone watch the house.”
Austin frowned at his friend.
“I’m telling you, all the fighting you are doing with yourself? It’s not worth it. You could have a real family, you know?”
He swallowed hard. He knew. And that was what scared him. Having it. Trusting it. Relying on it. And having the rug ripped out from under him once more. “I’ve done the family thing once, Ben. Not doing it again.”
Except Mia wasn’t Kayla, a voice in his head told him. And his friend’s knowing shake of his head let Austin know he was thinking the same thing.
* * *
Mia listened to Summer talk about her tour, the adjustments to living on the road, out of hotel rooms, the fans, the venues… all things she wanted to hear about but none she could concentrate on because the nausea had returned. And out of the blue, Mia knew. This couldn’t possibly be a stomach virus. She knew better. She wouldn’t suddenly want to throw up after five days if it was.
Could she really be pregnant?
Dread and fear took hold as the possibility took root. And grew. She hadn’t wanted to believe it, think it, or face it. Hadn’t wanted to consider what it would mean for the life she lived. And loved. Or her future.
Or what Austin would think.
Austin, who’d been in this position once before, having gotten a woman pregnant. True, Mia hadn’t poked holes in the condom but he hadn’t originally wanted or planned that child. And he had no desire to get serious again.
Oh my God, she thought, as another wave of queasiness hit her.
Unaware, Summer continued, a smile on her face. “And Ben said if it wasn’t the last stop, he’d pull the plug on the tour because he couldn’t wait to get home,” Summer said, her voice trailing off as she met Mia’s gaze. “Are you okay?” she asked.
“Umm…” She touched Summer’s arm. “I don’t mean to be rude but I’ll be right back.”
“Okay.”
Before Summer could even get the word out, she turned and found Dan. “Where’s the bathroom?” she asked him, embarrassed but having no choice. She couldn’t wait.
“Through there.” He gestured toward the main part of the house, where the bedrooms must be. “Down the hall, first door on the left.”
“Thank you.” She walked very quickly in the direction he pointed and found the bathroom door closed. She heard someone moving around inside, so she leaned against the wall to wait.
She breathed in deeply, counting in and out, forcing herself to concentrate on anything other than throwing up or the very real possibility that she might be pregnant. Or what she would do if she was.
Suddenly the sound of male voices reached her from the room right next to where she stood. She glanced in that direction. The door was open but she couldn’t see inside, but she recognized the voices.
“And I’m wondering what’s going on with you and Mia,” Ben asked.
A pause and then, “If I was going to get serious about anyone, it would be Mia. But…” Austin trailed off.
Mia’s stomach cramped, which was not good for her current situation. As wrong as it was, she stood rooted to the spot, listening.
“You’re still fighting the inevitable. I remember those days well. I got it,” Ben said.
Mia held her breath.
“I can’t let myself get serious again. I can’t risk Bailey getting attached and me deciding it’s not working out.”
“You’re certainly very protective of Mia, considering you brought her here when you could have just had someone watch the house.” Another pause and then Ben went on. “I’m telling you, all the fighting you are doing with yourself? It’s not worth it. You could have a real family, you know?”
“I’ve done the family thing once, Ben. Not doing it again.”
Now her stomach lurched and luckily the bathroom door opened. Ava Talbott walked out. “Hi, Mia.”
“Hi. Excuse me.” She made a beeline around the other woman and ran into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
Long after she’d thrown up and cleaned up, she remained in the bathroom… heart pounding, head throbbing, and heart hurting at Austin’s words.
I’ve done the family thing once, Ben. Not doing it again.
Clearly she had a lot of thinking to do. Of course, she had to be certain before she could make decisions. And to do that, she needed a pregnancy test. Austin hadn’t let her out of his sight but she did have an idea to get one.
She calmed down, patted her cheeks for color, and walked out of the bathroom.
They didn’t stay at the party long. Austin took one look at her and knew she had gotten sick again. He was obviously used to her just-vomited look.
Once they were in the car, she turned his way. “I’m really sorry. I could have stayed.”
He shook his head. “I’d rather you rest. You have a busy week coming up.”
She nodded. “Can I ask a favor? Can we stop by a drugstore on the way home?” She placed her hand over her purse in her lap.
“Sure. I’ll run in for you.”
She shook her head, having anticipated this gesture. “It’s okay. It’s, umm… that time of the month and I need a few things.”
“Got it,” he said with a grin.
Half an hour later, she ran into the drugstore by herself, took care of the things she needed, and returned to the car.
“Got everything?” he asked when she let herself back inside.
“Yes. Thank you,” she said, shaking the plastic bag full of sanitary napkins and tampons she more than likely didn’t need.
Unless the two pregnancy tests tucked safely in her purse showed she was panicking for no good reason.
* * *
Mia decided to take the tests separately. She didn’t know why or what good it would do but she’d convinced herself two separate urine streams would yield the right results. It didn’t matter that she was being completely irrational. The fact was, she’d slept with Austin the first time over a month ago, and though they’d used protection, it did have a fail rate. She could very well be pregnant.
She watched the first stick, waiting endlessly… then finally turned away. A watched pot and all that. She paced the bathroom, which was all of a few steps in one direction, another few in the other, rubbing her arms with her hands. This time her stomach churning had everything to do with nerves.
Knowing enough time had passed, she turned around and glanced at the stick on the counter and her knees buckled at what she saw. Apparently no matter how much you prepared yourself, finding out you were pregnant by a man who didn’t want forever with you was a punch of gut-wrenching reality.
She lowered herself onto the closed toilet seat and put her head in her hands. “Okay, okay, think,” she said to herself.
First, she had to testify. She had to put that mess behind her. Austin would protect her and she’d get through that this week. Then, before he brought Bailey home, she’d tell him that she was pregnant.
She had to pull in deep breaths at the reminder. She wouldn’t trap him. He didn’t want a future with her and she didn’t want him because he felt obligated. He’d been in that situation once before and had been cornered into marriage. She wouldn’t hide the truth from him but she wouldn’t accept him marrying her out of guilt, either.
She could raise this baby by herself. How, she didn’t quite know the details yet. But plenty of women managed and she’d do the same thing. Just not as Bailey’s nanny. The thought of leaving the little girl hurt, but there was no way she could stay on. And there was every chance Austin wouldn’t want her to.
She had a healthy savings account thanks to room and board being part of any previous employment, and she’d be able to rent an apartment somewhere. Maybe the city, where she could get a job within walking or subway distance and not need a car.
See? She could do this. She just had to survive this week of the trial and then telling Austin she was pregnant with his baby.
* * *
Something was up with Mia and damned if Austin could figure it out. Things were bad before they’d gone to Dan’s, but afterwards, she’d totally withdrawn into herself. To his knowledge, nothing had happened there that would upset her except that she’d obviously gotten sick. He was damned sure going to make certain she saw a doctor once she finished testifying, because he was beginning to be concerned.
He planned to bring his daughter home by Friday, once Mia’s testimony was over and there was nothing her ex-employer could gain by going after her. The damage would be done by then. But he missed her like crazy and wanted to take her for pizza and ice cream tonight. He’d also thought Mia would enjoy getting out of the house, but she’d insisted on staying at home.
“You need time alone with Bailey,” she’d said.
“But Bailey wants to see you, too.”
A wistful smile had pulled at her lips. “I’d like that, too. But I think it’s more important for you to have father-daughter bonding time.”
Which was why he sat across from his daughter at an old-fashioned pizza parlor. His parents had joined them and they’d ordered two pizzas, one plain and one with pepperoni.
“Did Grandma tell you I want a fish?” Bailey asked after she’d swallowed a bite of her food.
Austin nearly choked on his pizza. “No, Grandma didn’t mention it.”
His mother grinned. “She actually wants a puppy but I managed to talk her down to a fish,” she said, her eyes glittering with mischief.
Austin supposed he was lucky his mom hadn’t encouraged his daughter’s desire for a dog… although he really was giving it thought. He just wouldn’t mention it to Bailey in case he decided against it.
Bailey pushed herself up on her knees on the booth bench. “Yeah, I wanted a dog, Daddy. But Grandma said you’re too busy working. But I told her Mia takes such good care of me, she could take care of the dog, too.”
As if Mia needed another thing to care for. “I think we’d have to talk to Mia about any pet you get, honey.”
“Does that mean maybe a dog? Can we go to a puppy store? Please?” Bailey squeezed her hands together like she was praying.
Austin blinked, uncertain how they’d gone from fish back to puppy in the blink of an eye. “First of all, if we did ever get a dog, we’d adopt one.”
“Connor in my class is adopted,” Bailey said. “His mommy said he’s extra-special because she picked him. I think I’m extra special because you’re my daddy.” She picked up her pizza and took a large bite, smearing grease across her cheeks and not caring.
He wiped her face with a huge lump in his throat because this child meant so damned much to him. It didn’t matter to him how he’d had her, it only mattered that he did.
“You are extra-special, Bailey Button.” He met his father’s, then mother’s gaze. Both their eyes were filling, too. “Okay, should we take the leftovers home?” he asked.
“Yeah. Would you give some to Mia?” Bailey asked.
“Sure thing.”
“How is Mia?” his mother asked. “I was hoping she’d come for dinner.”
He frowned at the question because he really didn’t know how Mia was. “She’s… she hasn’t been herself. She was sick and it’s lingered. I think it’s got her all out of sorts.”
“Maybe you should talk to her and find out what’s going on,” his mother suggested.
“I asked if she’s okay. Beyond that, there isn’t much I can do. I’m sure she has a lot on her mind, what with testifying this week.”
“Hmm. Well, I hope she feels better.”
“Me, too.”
And it wasn’t like there was anything more he could do for her, Austin thought, because Mia certainly wasn’t communicating with him.