Chapter Nine

Joy held Malcolm’s hand, pondering the new feelings she had as they flew toward Holly. Something had definitely changed in him, which put to rest her panicked reaction to his vigilante work. He must have not made any mistakes there or he wouldn’t be in the afterlife. At least, she hoped that was the case.

They reappeared just as Holly’s foot disappeared into the dining room of Sarah and Brody’s home. Following their charge, they floated in behind her and listened to the couple’s conversation. At least Sarah managed a smile now and then.

Malcolm let go of her hand to move in front of Holly. “Are you ready for your next visit?”

She nodded. “Who’s leading the way?”

Malcolm chuckled. “I am.”

“Really?” Holly looked to her. “You’re going to let him break my heart twice in a row. There’s so much sadness in my future, I don’t know what to try to fix first.”

Joy took hold of Holly’s hand. “It’s not about fixing things. It’s about having meaningful relationships with others. If you do that, you won’t have to ‘fix’ anything.”

“I don’t understand.”

Malcolm took Holly’s other hand. “Then allow me to show you.” He pulled them up through the ceiling and into the gray ether. When it cleared, they hovered above the same house. “We’re here, but I need to explain these next two visits.”

Holly looked at him. “But we didn’t go anywhere.”

“Actually, we did.” Malcolm let her go and faced her. “What you will see next is a future you.”

“A future me? Is there more than one?”

He smiled. “Aye. This future has a forty percent chance of happening.”

Holly grimaced. “That’s not very good odds.”

Joy chuckled. “Because you’re still with us, those are the best odds there are. They can change based on your decisions. After you see this future you, I’ll show you the other one that has an equal chance of coming true.”

“Then I get to choose which path I want to take, right?” Holly’s eyes lit with excitement.

“Correct.” Malcolm opened his arm toward the roof top. “Are you ready?”

“Yes.” Holly let go of Joy’s hand and sped through the roof.

Quickly, they followed into the now Christmas decorated living room.

Holly pointed at her future self, sitting on an ottoman next to a baby lying on a blanket on the floor. “Well, at least I look pretty healthy. I was almost afraid I’d become a leper or something.” She chuckled, missing the look Malcolm threw her way.

“Oh, and look at that little thing. Tell me that’s Sarah’s.” Holly looked at Malcolm who nodded.

“What a cutie.” Holly floated closer as the baby rolled onto her tummy and tried to move forward.

“She’s not getting into anything, is she?” Sarah called from the other room.

The older Holly smiled. “Now what could she possibly get into? She’s barely scooting yet.” She looked at the clock to the right of the fireplace where a large picture of Sarah, Brody, Holly, Cameron and Ethan hung. “I think the men got lost at the Black Raven Pub on their way back.”

Sarah laughed. “They better not have or they’ll have to watch the children tomorrow. That’s the deal.”

“Mummy?” The two-year-old voice could be heard in the other room.

Holly floated to the doorway before looking back at them. “How wonderful! They have two children.” She smiled as a little boy came to the door.

“Mummy?” The little boy with brown wavy hair grabbed a hold of the doorframe with one hand. In his other hand was a half-eaten cookie. “Cookie?” He held it out toward the older Holly.

“Is that for me, honey?” The Holly on the ottoman opened her arms.

The little boy broke into a big smile as he toddled toward his mom.

Joy watched the younger Holly’s face go white, her eyes round with shock. “How can this be?” She continued to watch as the older Holly picked up the little boy and made a production of eating the cookie he gave her.

Holly drifted back to them, avoiding the pair on the ottoman as if they were diseased. “Why are you showing me this?”

Joy wanted to give Holly a hug, but refrained.

Malcolm’s voice was low and soft. “Because this is a future you could have.”

Holly shook her head. “I can’t. How can I? I love Cameron and he’s gone.” Her voice cracked on her last word, though she couldn’t take her eyes off her future self, her eyes still round with shock.

“You have the capacity to love many people.”

Holly’s gaze flew to Malcolm’s at his words. “You want me to love another man?” Her voice squeaked to a near panicked pitch.

Malcolm gave her a kind smile. “I don’t want you to do anything. I’m merely showing you what possible future you can have.” He reached out his hand toward the little boy. “You could even have a son to love.”

She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. “No.” Before either of them could react, Holly had flown straight through the ceiling.

Joy threw Malcolm a worried look before following. When she reached the outside of the roof, Holly was nowhere to be seen. Oh sugar. This wasn’t good.

Malcolm floated up beside her. “Where is she?”

“I don’t know.” Her stomach tightened. One of the few rules they had as spirit guides was to never, ever lose a living client, never mind Cameron’s wife.

“We’ll find her. Come. If we don’t see her, we’ll just go back in time.” He grabbed her hand and floated them above the town. “There. She just phased into her old house.” He pointed to the one-story house on Main Street.

She cringed. “That’s not good either.” They flew through time instead of space to be sure to catch Holly. When they phased into the house, Holly hovered in the middle of her living room with a scowl on her face.

Her attention snapped to them. “Who changed my house around?”

Joy moved forward, her heart still beating a little too fast from her scare. “In this future, you don’t live here anymore.”

Holly’s scowl deepened. “Who lives here?” She scanned the room frantically, her confusion palpable, her worry obvious.

Malcolm answered. “Brooke lives here. She manages the shop for you.”

At that, Holly’s body seemed to lose all its tension. “I still own the One of a Kind Christmas Shop?” The relief in her eyes was heartbreaking.

Joy couldn’t resist any longer. She knew better than to get too emotionally close to a client, but Holly needed a hug. She wrapped her arms around her. “Yes. You still own the shop, it’s still called that, and you still offer only one-of-a-kind Christmas decorations.”

Holly nodded against her shoulder. “Good.”

She pushed the woman back. “I’m sorry this happy visit wasn’t so happy for you.”

“No, it wasn’t. I should have known because Malcolm brought me there.” She gave him a scowl as if he’d caused it.

Joy couldn’t let that pass. “No, it wasn’t Malcolm’s fault. What you saw was caused by your own decisions.”

Holly shook her head. “I can’t believe that.”

“Would you like to see how else your life could be in the same time period?”

“Yes. You said it was only a forty percent chance for either, right?”

“That’s true. There’s also a twenty percent chance that your future will be something completely different. It will all depend on the choices you make after tonight.”

Holly wiped her wet cheeks with the sleeve of her sweater. “Let me see what my other most probable choice led to.”

Joy nodded and took her hand. As she reached for Malcolm’s hand, she found him deep in thought. “Are you ready?”

He jerked to attention before clasping her hand. “Aye.”

She floated them through the wall into the shop next door. It was open, but no customers filled the space. There weren’t as many decorations and the ones that were there were full of dust.

At the front counter sat Holly. She wore no Santa cap and her black sweater had no Christmas design. She stared out the front window, a frown on her face as people bustled past.

“I don’t look so good.” Holly moved closer to her older self, before glancing around the shop. “Where is everyone?”

“You don’t get many customers anymore.”

“Of course not. Look at the dust on everything. Most of this inventory I recognize from this year. It should have sold by now. What happened?” She floated by, inspecting the shelves before stopping at the fifteen-foot Christmas tree. “This is unacceptable.” She scowled at a pinecone ornament whose glitter was so coated in dust, it didn’t shine at all.

Joy joined her. “No one wants to shop here anymore. You get the occasional tourist, but all your local customers avoid it.”

Holly snorted. “I can see why. What I want to know is why did I let it get so run down?”

Joy couldn’t think of a nice way to explain, so she took a page from Malcolm’s playbook. After all, Cameron said not to be subtle. “Because you have no life. People still like you, but you have no substance. You attend events and chat as you shop. But you don’t have any close relationships and the ones you had, you didn’t keep up. You don’t do anything new.”

Holly crossed her arms. “Are you saying I’m not fun to be around?”

Malcolm came over to stand next to Joy. “No, you smile at the right times and engage in conversation. You do make a suggestion on occasion, but your life is only what you know of others. You in particular don’t do anything besides visit and work here.”

“But I do still have the shop?” The hope in Holly’s eyes was frustrating to see.

Joy looked at Malcolm and he nodded for her to answer. “Not for long. The only reason it’s still here is because you sold the house next door to keep it open. You sleep in the office.”

“What?” Holly flew across the room and disappeared behind a closed door.

Joy’s stomach tightened. “Should I follow her?” Holly’s disappearance at the last visit still had her rattled.

Malcolm shook his head. “I think she’ll return shortly.

He was right. Holly floated out to them, her eyes already filling with tears. “I can’t believe I sold Cam’s and my home for this place.”

“You had a choice to make.” Malcolm’s voice wasn’t as hard as it had been on the other visits. “You couldn’t keep both. And when your mom and John offered to help, you wouldn’t hear of it. Probably because except for an occasional phone call, you didn’t have a relationship with them anymore either.”

Holly frowned, a tear finally falling on her cheek. “But why? I don’t understand what happened.”

Joy tried to think of a way to phrase it without pushing Holly toward one decision or the other. “It was a slow progression into not caring and a focused obsession. It’s not any one single event exactly. It’s simply what’s the most probable outcome of you holding on to Cameron’s memory as the priority of your life.”

Holly threw her hands up. “In other words, I’m either supposed to forget Cam existed and marry someone else or keep our love alive and live a miserable existence.” Holly’s tears started to fall, but they were caused by a mix of hurt and anger and pure frustration. “That’s my choice?”

“Except for the twenty percent probability that you beat the odds.” She gave her a half-hearted smile.

As Holly squinted her eyes in anger, Malcolm stepped in. “None of this would even be shown to you if you hadn’t been Cameron’s wife. He’s pulled strings to help you.”

Holly snapped her gaze to him. “Wait a minute. I didn’t ask him to come visit me two years ago. That was his choice.”

Malcolm opened his mouth to answer, but Joy interrupted. “True, but who asked him to come back again and again?”

Once again, Holly crossed her arms. “I wouldn’t have even known that was possible if he didn’t visit me in the first place.”

Malcolm pounced on that. “And he wouldn’t need to visit you from the grave if he’d appreciated what you had to begin with.”

Holly nodded before she stopped, her eyes wide. She shook her head and turned away. “This isn’t Cam’s fault. It was an accident.”

Joy flew around her before Malcolm did. “But he knew the risks of rock climbing on such a cold day. He did leave you on Christmas day despite the icy conditions. He may not have known that he would fall, but he knew it was a possibility.”

Holly stopped shaking her head. “I just wish we could go back in time and do that day over.”

Malcolm joined them. “Even if you could, that wouldn’t stop him from doing something else that was risky. If you could relive that day and change the outcome, there’s a good chance you’d still lose him too soon.”

“We don’t know that.” She looked away, desperately searching for an argument. “You said Brody stopped taking risks. Why not Cameron?”

Joy’s heart squeezed. To see such a steadfast love and know her job was to break it apart was hard. “Because Brody’s behavior only changed after Cameron’s death. It took something that drastic.”

Malcolm put his hand on Holly’s shoulder. “The probability of Cameron dying within that year is well over ninety percent.”

Holly’s mouth dropped open and her eyes rounded.

Joy searched her knowledge but she couldn’t see probabilities. She could only see a number of devastating events. Malcolm knew the probabilities because he was from the future. She wished she could see with that kind of clarity.

A sudden thought occurred to her. Would he know the probability of her niece having lived or died? That unknown kept niggling at her like sand in her shoe, interrupting her focus at inopportune times. She watched him study Holly. He might be her only chance to find out.

“You have to tell him.” Holly grabbed Malcolm’s arm. “You have to. He’s riddled with guilt over that day. You have to tell him he was fated to die that year. Don’t let him beat himself up anymore. It’s not fair. Let him blame it on fate. Release him from his guilt, please!”

That’s what this was all about? Cameron’s guilt? Joy felt a mixture of relief and anger. So, she and Malcolm were pawns sent to accomplish what? To free Cameron of his guilt? Free Holly of her anger? That wasn’t enough. Holly deserved her own happily ever after.

As for Cameron, Joy wasn’t sure she cared at the moment.

“I’ll tell him.” Malcolm nodded, and Holly let go of him.

“Thank you. If he knows that, will he still visit me?” The hope in her watery eyes was frustrating.

“I don’t know.” Malcolm shrugged. “It’s not up to him.”

“Oh, that’s right.” Holly nodded, wiping the tears from her face. “He did say that he reported to someone else and this past year it was all about what I did. So maybe if I find that twenty percent probability path, I could see him again.”

Joy’s anger at Cameron got the better of her. Holly should be living her life for her, not for the chance to see her dead husband. “I’m not sure seeing him again is a good idea.”

“Why not?” Holly turned to her in shock.

Making her decision, Joy spread her arms to encompass the quiet shop. “Because that’s what causes this.”

“But you said it was due to my—”

“Your choices. Yes, but you make those solely based on seeing Cameron again. I didn’t want to say it, but I guess you need to know.” Her blood was pumping hard. Releasing her calm and allowing her anger to dictate her actions as a spirit guide was new. “The decisions you make to see your dead husband, to live for him instead of yourself will all lead to your life being something like this.”

Holly’s mouth opened, but nothing came out. The mixture of pain and confusion in her eyes didn’t bode well.

Malcolm took Joy’s hand and gave it a squeeze.

She sincerely hoped that meant what she’d said was a good thing because it didn’t look good at the moment.

“You have a lot to think about now.” Malcolm addressed Holly. “Are you ready to go back to your time?”

“That’s it?” Holly looked lost. “But there must be more you can show me.”

Malcolm shrugged. “Like what? You don’t have much of a life to show. Can you think of anything we might have missed? I can’t.”

Joy held her breath. Come on Holly. Think.

Holly frowned. “I have more of a life than this.” She pointed to the shop then drifted to the window that looked out on Main Street.

They waited. Malcolm looked down at her, his face showing his disappointment. But they couldn’t give up. If they did, it meant Holly would continue to waste her life.

Joy tried to think of something that would bring Ethan to mind. The fact that he was so far from Holly’s was not a good sign.

Holly spun around. “What about Ethan? I’m worried about him and his future. Is everything okay with him? Did he ever tell the woman he was in love with that he loved her? What did she say? Can you at least tell me who it is so I can help him?”

Joy’s heart felt a little lighter at Holly’s outburst.

But Malcolm appeared unmoved. “What does Ethan have to do with you? You’ve avoided him for three years now.”

“Oh no, don’t you give me that. I’ve seen him at Brody and Sarah’s and a few other events. Just because I’m not around him every week doesn’t mean I don’t care about how he’s doing.”

Joy didn’t want to risk losing Holly’s focus while she had it. “What do you think, Malcolm? Do you think she can handle Ethan’s future?”

“I can.” Holly nodded vigorously. “Who knows, maybe I can help him, and he can help me.”

Malcolm smiled. “Maybe. I’m fine with visiting his future if Joy is.”

“Please, Joy. I think it will help me get out of my own head.”

She couldn’t have resisted Holly’s pleading brown eyes if she’d tried. She was thankful that Holly wanted this last visit. It just might sway her to being open to the possibilities of her future…without Cameron. “I think it will, too.” She held out her hand. “Let’s go.”

Malcolm pulled up his hood and grasped Holly’s other hand. Quickly, he led them through time, his own agenda not sitting well on his conscience. He wanted to take Joy into his confidence about their final step with Holly, but he couldn’t risk her fighting him.

“I don’t like this gray stuff.”

Holly’s complaint had him stifling a smile. “It will clear soon.”

As soon as he said the words, the ether disappeared and they flew over a stately mansion on the outskirts of Deervale.

“Oh, that’s Ethan’s ancestral home.” Holly pointed to the estate. “His parents live here.”

“Not anymore.” He floated them through the roof as he explained. “Ethan’s parents moved into the house in town to be closer to their friends over a year ago. Didn’t you know that?”

Holly looked away. “No, I didn’t.”

He brought them down just outside Ethan’s study. “Why not? I thought you were interacting with your friends more.”

She dropped his hand. “It’s a little more complicated than that. I told you, Ethan is in love with someone, but I don’t know who.”

Joy let go of his hand and moved to stand in front of Holly. “Why not? Have you asked him?”

He liked this new straight-to-the-point Joy. She could almost be a Glasgow police woman.

Holly rolled her eyes at them. “It’s not like I can come out and ask him. I’m not supposed to know, remember?” She turned away. “I’ve only seen him among other people, so it’s hard to get into the kind of deep conversation I’d need to in order to dig into that.”

Joy moved again to force Holly to look at her, something he would have done. “Didn’t he ask you to have dinner at his parents’ home in town? To go to the Deervale music festival? To have coffee the morning after Burns night?”

Holly looked away. “Obviously, you already know the answer to those questions.”

“Yes, I do. What I don’t know is why you didn’t go. It was the perfect chance to discover who he loves.” Joy’s persistence pleased him. It was good to have a partner he could count on. Then why aren’t you telling her your plan to end this?

Holly dropped her arms. “I didn’t want to be alone with him, so if the woman he loves saw him, she wouldn’t think he was with me.”

Joy’s face softened. “That was very thoughtful, but as you will see, it may have been the wrong choice.”

Holly’s gaze snapped to Joy’s. “Ethan’s okay, isn’t he?”

Now was the time for him to push. Malcolm floated between the two women. “This is the future. You can decide for yourself.” He opened his arm toward the study door.

Holly moved toward it, while Joy floated over to him, a small smile on her face. She leaned in and whispered. “Very Spirit of Christmas Future, Mr. Scrooge.” Her gaze went from his arm to his hood.

He grinned back at her. “I try.”

She gave a soft chuckle that sent sexual fission flashing up his spine.

Schitz. He wanted this assignment done so he could take her back to his cottage and make love to her for at least a week nonstop. Maybe longer? The implications of that knocked him off balance. He needed to look into exactly why he wanted Joy in his afterlife.

Joy found Holly floating above Ethan’s desk, frowning at him.

“You look confused.” She had to remember not to be subtle. Malcolm was so much better at this, but she was learning.

“Is Ethan drunk?”

She gave Holly a sad smile. “Yes.”

Holly shook her head. “Why? Did the woman he loved reject him? Oh, poor Ethan. I need to be a better friend to him. Maybe if I do that, I can keep this from happening.” Holly floated to where Joy was. “I can influence the future, right?”

Malcolm floated behind her, his bayberry scent letting her know where he was. He was close. His deep voice came over her left shoulder. “Aye, you can, but you have to remember, most of what you see tonight are scenes that are most likely to come true.”

“But that’s only if I don’t change, right?”

Holly’s hopeful look was hard to dismiss, but Joy ignored it. “That will only increase the probability that they won’t come true.” At Holly’s crestfallen face, she forced herself to continue. “There’s still a chance they will.”

“This is so unfair to Ethan. He’s such a good man. And look.” Holly pointed at the man who sat at his desk in a t-shirt and gray sweats, his brown curly hair a mess, his green eyes blurry. The almost empty bottle of single-malt Scotch was next to his elbow, the glass in his hand, half empty. “He’s handsome, too and well built.”

Holly paused, her gaze running over Ethan’s chest and arms. “Wow, he’s really built. I never noticed that before. Probably because he’s always in a collared shirt and a pair of trousers. He’s smart. He manages his family’s money. He went to the university with Cameron and Brody. He’d be a great catch for any woman. I’m so pissed a woman did this to him.”

Joy glanced at Malcolm before addressing Holly. “Does Ethan rock climb like Cameron and Brody? He looks to be in good shape.”

Holly shook her head. “Oh, no. He’s the opposite of Cam and Brody. While they were impetuous and risk takers, Ethan always had to plan everything in advance and he was all about safety first. Sometimes it drove Cam crazy.” Holly smiled at the memory.

“But this man.” Malcolm opened his arm toward the drunk Ethan. “Tried to keep Cameron from going. He was the only one who took your side. He was the best kind of friend and now look at him.”

Holly turned back to Ethan who was in the process of throwing back the rest of the Scotch. “Oh Ethan, I’m so sorry. I’ll make this change. I swear.”

Joy floated to Holly and took her hand to bring her away from Ethan. “It won’t be that easy.”

“Why not? All I have to do is reach out to him in my time.”

“Watch.”

The front doorbell rang, but Ethan just poured himself another shot.

The bell rang again.

Holly frowned. “Where’s his mom? Or butler? Or whatever a place this big has?”

“As Malcolm said, Ethan’s parents live in town now and he won’t have any employees living with him. Everyone must go home by five so he can drink himself into oblivion.” Joy stopped talking at the loud banging on the door.

“Well, someone obviously wants in pretty badly.” Holly’s observation was shared by Ethan since he stood, swayed, then staggered out of the study.

They all followed him.

It took him four tries, but eventually he managed to open the door.