“Vera, can you come in here for a second?”

A few moments later, she was sitting across from me in my office. I pulled up a screen on my computer. “What’s this charge for $24,000 for incidentals?”

Vera made a face that can only be described as disgruntled. And then I knew. “Michelle?”

“It’s from a jewelry store in Venice.”

Shit. This was getting out of hand. Usually, Michelle asked for money during our monthly lunches. Occasionally she contacted Vera. But now she was sending bills directly to the company without even asking? “What did she buy, a gondola?”

“I believe it’s for a diamond necklace. I can deny the charge.” I couldn’t help notice the way her lips tugged into the hint of a smile. Vera would just love to deny the charge for Michelle’s necklace. It would probably make her day. Or her week.

I sighed. “No… pay this one from my account, but then no more. And as soon as she’s back in town, bring her in here for a meeting. This has gone on long enough.”

“Will do.”

From the gleeful look on Vera’s face, I knew she’d get Michelle in here the second the socialite set foot back in the U.S.

“Anything else?”

“Yes, please send Penny back.”

A few minutes later, a very different woman was sitting across from me. But I had a feeling that once I told Penny why I wanted to speak with her, her resolve would be just as strong as Vera’s.

I decided to start slowly. “Are you doing anything on Saturday?”

“No.” She was wearing that cashmere shirt she’d gotten at my mother’s house, and it was distracting. It hugged her generous breasts, nipped in at her waist, and then swelled at her hips. The straight black skirt she paired it with did things to me, too. She really was a beautiful woman. I wished I could buy her fancy clothes and then take her to the best restaurants in town. And then take her home and rip those clothes off her.

“What did you have in mind?” Penny prompted.

Shit, how long had I been staring at her, my mind in the gutter?

“We’ve been invited to lunch.”

“Like at that Italian place we sampled? I can see if Jana can babysit.”

“No, don’t. She’s invited, too.”

“She is?” Penny looked puzzled. “By who?”

“My mother. She’s invited the three of us over for lunch. She’s dying to see the baby again.”

“Blake… you have to tell her.”

I knew it. I did. But how could I pull the plug on the one time in my life that I hadn’t let my mother down? Part of me knew that Penny was right, but another part of me wondered what the harm was. My mother was happy. I was happy that she was happy. And Penny was wrong if she thought I wasn’t in this for the long haul. I wanted to be a part of her life. Of her daughter’s life. Maybe I didn’t know all that that entailed, but I was willing to find out.

“She wants to see Zoe so badly. All of us, actually.” That in itself was a shock. True, my mother had been pushing for more of a relationship with me in recent years, but she’d never seemed to be thrilled to see me. Clearly, the addition of a grandchild had changed things. “Please, Penny, it’ll make her so happy. Please do this for her—and for me.”

A war was going on behind Penny’s eyes. I could see it. I didn’t know where the battle lines were drawn, but I registered the moment my side won.

“Okay,” she said. “Just this once. But after that… you have to tell her, Blake. You

just have to. It’s too cruel to let her find out later.”

I sighed as Penny left. Was destroying my mother’s newfound happiness really the right thing to do? We were finally getting along. Zoe had done that. Zoe and Penny. How could I take that away from her?

“Ellen, you should eat something. Everything’s delicious.” Penny tried to get my mother to eat a little, but my mother hadn’t let go of Zoe since we arrived. We were sitting on the deck looking over several acres of woods. Earlier, a deer had stepped through the yard. I’d tried to get Zoe to notice it, but her gaze had stayed glued to my finger, not to what I was pointing at. I guess that skill came later.

Once Penny was done eating the delicate finger sandwiches, it was time for Zoe to nurse. Ellen handed her over with great reluctance, but once Penny was all set up to feed Zoe, my mother asked to speak with me privately.

“Come up to my room, Blake. There’s something I want to show you.”

With slight trepidation, I followed her. Had she found out that Zoe wasn’t mine? But she seemed too content for that. As I followed her up a stairwell to the master suite. It dawned on me that I hadn’t been up here since I was a child.

It hadn’t changed much. Same velvet curtains around the huge master bed. Same dark, imposing wooden furniture. Same stiff chairs she’d bought at Christie’s, that no person in their right mind would find comfortable.

“I’d offer you a drink, but I don’t keep anything up here anymore.” She pointed to the cabinet my father had used to store his liquor collection

“No, mother, I’m fine.” As far as I knew, she hadn’t had a drink in nearly two decades, so I wasn’t sure why she was apologizing for not having something to offer me.

“I could send for something from downstairs.”

“I’m fine, really.” My mother was pacing, her hands tapping awkwardly at her sides. Was she actually nervous? What on earth was she worried about?

“Let’s sit,” she said, and I heard it. A slight tremor in her voice as we sat in the high-back chairs by the window. Then she took a deep breath. “I know I wasn’t always there for you, dear.”

Now I was uncomfortable. It was true, but not what I wanted to dredge up right now. “You did your best.”

“I did,” she said, “eventually. But not in the beginning. Not when it mattered—when you were young.”

“But we’re past that now, mother.”

“Yes, I think we are. Or at least we’re starting to be.”

“So why bring it up now?” I didn’t want to be rude, but I couldn’t think of any other way to phrase it.

“Because I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did.”

What?

“With Zoe,” she elaborated. “You’ve done a lot for that little girl. Penny told me about the nursery you made. How grateful she is that she can visit Zoe during the day.”

“What’s wrong with that?” My words came out more defensively than I meant them to.

“Nothing’s wrong with it. It was a wonderful thing both for your own daughter and for the children of your employees. But it’s not enough.”

“Should I build a school, too?”

“No,” Ellen said, and to my shock, she reached out and took my hand. “That’s not what I meant. You’ve always been generous with your wealth, contributing to charities and helping people out. But babies don’t care about the size of your bank account. Or what you can buy for them. They need attention. They need love. They need physical contact. I’ve never seen you with Zoe in your arms. She’s your daughter, Blake, and she needs you.”

Gently, I pulled my hand out of Ellen’s grasp and rested my elbows on my thighs, leaning forward. “It’s complicated.”

“I’m not blind. I can see that you have a complex history with Penny. You don’t have to tell me anything about it, but my instinct is that you and she broke up at some point and that you weren’t around much during Zoe’s first few months. Am I right?”

I nodded. She had no idea how accurate that was.

“That’s all the more reason to make up for lost time. To get to know your daughter and to spend as much time with her as possible. Now that you’ve got that daycare on site, you can go visit her throughout the day, too. Spend time with her. Really get to know her. She needs you.”

My gaze was on the carpet, but I was listening. My mother didn’t know the whole story, of course, but I’d already told Penny that I wanted to be a part of Zoe’s life. And my mother was telling me how to do that.

“And you also need to come to terms with how you feel about Penny.”

Now I did look up. My mother thought Zoe was her grandchild, so it was natural for her to look out for Zoe’s interests. But Ellen had no right to delve into my relationship with Penny.

“I don’t know why you’re not together now, but I’ve seen the way you look at her.”

“Mother, I don’t want to talk about this—“

“And I’ve seen the way she looks at you.”

Really? That I could stand to hear more about. My interest must have shown on my face, because my mother continued.

“She cares about you, son. A lot. I would imagine her feelings are a little mixed up at the moment, with you being her boss, and with the responsibility of a baby. But she cares about you. I know she does.”

“I’m not so sure.”

“Then you need to be sure. This is your chance, Blake. To do things right. Better than me. Better than your father. You can have a real family with that wonderful young woman and that sweet, sweet baby. I want you to have something.”

She got up and went to her dresser. When she returned, she had a small box in her hand.

My stomach dropped before I even took it from her. “What did you do, mother?”

“I haven’t done anything. It was my mother’s engagement ring. I want you to have it—just in case.”

“In case what?” I held the box without looking at it.

“In case you want to formalize your arrangement with Penny. Be a real family.”

“Then you should just keep this until that time.” I tried to give her back the box, but she wouldn’t take it.

“You keep it, son. And I pray that someday you’ll use it.”

She left the room, staring after me. She wanted me to propose. She thought I was ready for marriage. That showed how little she truly knew about me. No way would I be a good husband for Penny.

Alone, in my mother’s room, I thought about her words, turning the small, velvet box in my hands. This was not the next step. Not by a long shot. I actually didn’t know what the next step was, but once I figured it out I wanted to take it.

But it sure as hell wasn’t this.

Pocketing the box, I headed back downstairs.

“I can’t eat anymore,” Penny said, waving away Ellen’s offer of another piece of lemon tart.

“But you didn’t eat much of anything, my dear. Blake had four of those mini-eclairs.”

“I don’t have Blake’s metabolism,” Penny said, patting her stomach.

“Nonsense. You’re a beautiful girl.”

For once, I agreed with my mother.

But then she stood up and went to the balcony, staring out over the railing. My mother was acting nervous again. Strange that after all these years of not being particularly close, I could read her moods like this. Finally, she turned around.

“I have something I want to talk to you both about.”

Penny exchanged a look with me, and I tried not to show my concern, reaching out to adjust Zoe’s sunhat. She was contently nestled against her mother’s chest, blinking sleepily.

Ellen took a deep breath, and I was suddenly sure that I’d need alcohol to hear whatever she was about to say.

“It’s not my place to meddle in your affairs,” she began.

Then don’t, I thought. However, it seemed pretty clear she was going to.

“But… something came up. An opportunity that seemed too good to pass up. That doesn’t mean you have to take the opportunity. But you should at least consider it.”

Penny looked as confused as I felt. “What do you mean, Mrs. Hol—I mean, Ellen?”

My mother wrung her hands together nervously. Again. “I told you that I’m on the board of directors at the botanic gardens. And there was a cancellation. For June tenth. So I reserved it, just in case. It’s so rare to have an opening in June, because it’s the prime season.”

“Prime season? For what? The flowers?” Penny was confused, but alarm bells were going off in my head.

“Mother, may I talk to you in private?”

Ellen wouldn’t look at me. “It’s just such a beautiful time of the year. The pavilion is very sought after. It’s so gorgeous there, with the view of the pond, the flower beds. When I found out there was a cancellation, I just had to grab it. You have no idea how many couples want that spot.”

“Want that spot for what?” Penny asked.

“For their weddings,” Ellen said, and Penny’s jaw dropped open.

“Mother—“

“I’m not saying you have to take it. I’m just saying if you want to, it’s available. I reserved it. I’m on the board, I can do that,” Ellen spoke in a rush now. “Of course you don’t have to. But if you wanted to, then we could go to my friend Marilyn’s grandson’s restaurant for the reception. He owns a lovely French place. Or we could come back here. Whatever you two want.”

Penny was speechless for a long moment, and then her face flushed. “You—you’re saying we should—you actually reserved…”

When she sputtered out, I glared at Ellen. “Mother, we need to talk. Now.”

I stood up, being careful not to look at Penny. Or Zoe, for that matter. I was fairly certain steam was rising from my ears, and I didn’t want Zoe to see me that way. However, I couldn’t help taking a quick peak at Penny as I strode inside. Her face was still red as she suddenly became very interest in straightening Zoe’s little dress.

Great. The only people not completely mortified were the baby and my mother.

This time, it was a different story than the conversation in my mother’s suite. As my mother followed me into the living room, this time I was the one talking. “It wasn’t enough to tell me about the ring, you also had to book the venue? You should have just kept the ring and proposed to Penny yourself. You did everything else.”

“Don’t be mad, Blake.”

“Mad? My mother all but proposes to my girlfriend, and I’m not supposed to be mad?” Wait, was Penny my girlfriend? I wanted her to be, but my impulsive mother had skipped over that step and advanced straight to fiancée.

“I wasn’t trying to meddle, but there was the cancellation, and I had to tell you both about it. Just in case.”

“Just in case what? In case the only thing that was keeping us from wedded bliss was a location with a frog pond? You just set our relationship back. We’ve barely contemplating being together, and now you’re bringing up marriage. Neither one of us are ready to talk about that.”

“Well you should be.”

Ellen’s forcefulness stopped my pacing. I spun around to look at her as she continued. “You have a little girl. A beautiful little girl. She needs a mother and a father.”

I was furious, but part of me had to admit, it was my own fault. What had started out as a white lie—a kindness to keep my mother happy—had blown up in my face. I’d never expected my mother to get so attached to Zoe and to Penny. Now everything had escalated beyond anything I’d ever anticipated.

“We’re not ready for that.”

“Then get ready. Hold your daughter. Cuddle her. And make things right with her mother.”

“It’s not that simple.” I sank down onto the sofa and put my feet up on the coffee table just to irritate her. Apparently, when my mother got high-handed, it made me revert to my teen-aged self. “I’m not ready. To be a husband. To be a dad.”

“You are a dad. So you have to be ready, you have no choice.”

Yes, I did have a choice, but my mother didn’t know that. I wasn’t Zoe’s father, so I could walk away. I didn’t want to, but I could. Trouble was, I didn’t know how to stay, either. “I’m not—I’m no…”

“What is it?” Ellen came over and placed her hand on the back of the chair.

“You’re right. Penny deserves a man who can stand by her side. And that’s not me.”

“Why not?”

“Because they’d be better off without me.” And there it was. My old fear that I’d let down any woman I got close to. I’d let down my mother. And my poor Not-Sarah. Hell, the only woman I hadn’t let down yet was Michelle, and that was because all she needed was a regular influx of cash.

“How can you say that?” Ellen sat in the chair across from me.

“It’s true,” I said wearily, my hand over my face. “I let you down.”

“What? No, you didn’t. These past few years when we haven’t been very close—that’s on both of us. Not you. But things are different now. Better. You brought Penny and Zoe into my life, and it’s changed everything. It’s made everything better.”

She was trying, but she was making me feel worse. Here she thought I’d introduced her to them as a peace-making effort when all I’d wanted was to get a damn picnic blanket. “That’s not what I mean. I let you down before. When I was a kid. When you… when you were hospitalized.”

Ellen stiffened, but she rallied quickly. “When I overdosed, you mean.”

“Yes.” I couldn't look at her. “If I’d just gone with you when you asked…”

“Blake, that had nothing to do with you. Nothing.”

“You asked me to come with you, and I didn’t. If I would have—“

“No. My dear, I never imagined you were even thinking that. It wasn’t your fault. I was so out of it that day. I can admit it now. I was drunk, and I didn’t have a plan. I hadn’t packed a suitcase for myself. I hadn’t even called for a driver. It wouldn’t have made any difference what you did, Blake. I was miserable, and I wasn’t in my right mind.”

“I should have seen that.”

“You were just a kid.” A light hand touched my knee. “It wasn’t your job to take care of me, it was my job to take care of you. And I will forever be sorry that I didn’t do that well enough.”

It’s a cliché to say that a weight was lifted from my shoulders, but it truly felt like it was. I’d never thought it through. What would have happened if I’d said yes, if I’d agreed to go with her. It never occurred to me that it probably would have fizzled out before it even began. Still, I’d always wonder if I could have intervened. Stopped her from mixing the alcohol with her prescriptions.

“I didn’t know any better then, son. Just as neither one of us knew how to have a relationship until recently. But we do now. That’s more important to me than almost anything. Almost. Because as much as I love feeling closer to you, I’d risk it all just to prevent you from making the same mistakes I did. And that’s what I’m trying to do. I want you and Penny to make things work.”

“That’s for us to make happen.”

“I know. But I thought you needed a little help.”

I groaned as I stood up and returned to Penny. How I was going to face her, I had no idea. But I couldn’t stay mad at my mother.

She’d just forgiven me for a lot worse.