“SERIOUSLY?” I SAID to myself. Seriously? I texted Ian. While waiting for his response, I looked around the parking lot. There were only a few cars. The store itself didn’t look seedy. If actually looked as if it could be a pleasant retail space, perhaps a small clothing store or resale shop. That was if you could miss the two-foot-high letters that spelled out the word ADULT on the roof.

A moment later, Ian replied: I take it you’ve reached your destination. Surprised?

I replied: Yes! Do you really expect me to go in there?

He replied: No, I actually think you won’t be brave enough. But you never know. You went that one time senior year of college.

I blushed, but a warm flush filled my body at the memory of the various ways our purchases had spiced things up. I replied: That was different. You were with me then. And that was a dare.

His response was quick: And this isn’t? I’ll make it official. I dare you to go in there.

I snorted with derision, a rather useless effort when communicating by text. Like that’s going to make me do it. I’m not going to be goaded into doing something just because you dared me. I’m not a teenager.

He replied: You weren’t last time, either. But it’s your call. If you're not at all interested in buying something that’ll make your back arch, your hips buckle, and your eyes roll back in your head, that’s fine.

I glared at the screen, determined not to take the bait. I wasn’t going in there, so there was no sense asking him what he wanted me to buy. No sense at all. In fact, I wasn’t even curious.

Yeah, right.

He texted: Maybe I should send you off to a craft fair. You could get yourself a nice quilt or an afghan. Do you think you could buy one of those without getting too embarrassed?

Damn him! I waged—and lost—a quick internal war. I just had to know. What did you want me to buy?

He replied: Tell me you’ll go in, and I’ll tell you.

I hate you, I replied untruthfully.

No, you don’t, he answered.

Okay, maybe I didn’t hate him, but at the moment I wanted to smack him upside the head. How could he be so arrogant in such short bursts of text? All right, I’ll go in.

He replied: That’s my girl. Still got money left over from before?

Do you think I bought a diamond-encrusted bra? I replied.

I’ll take that as a yes, he replied. Go in there and buy a toy that has a remote.

A remote? As in ... a toy that vibrated that he could control? The thought turned me on even as a shiver of delicious apprehension stole through me. Ian used to be quite adept at making me feel opposing sensations like that. I guess it was good to know he still could.

* * *

A few minutes later, I approached the store entrance wearing dark sunglasses and a baseball cap I’d found in the trunk. I’d gathered my hair in a ponytail and threaded it through the back of the hat. It brought back memories of going to Ian’s baseball games in college.

I’d also thrown on a jacket. Not that I was ashamed to go in there. I was an adult, and I had every right to have a sex life. To enjoy being kinky. But yeah, I was a little ashamed to go in there. And also a little excited.

The store wasn’t as intimidating as I’d thought it would be. Sure, there was a huge DVD section, and the walls were lined with brightly colored toys, some made to look like realistic body parts, some designed by people who appeared to know nothing about the size of normal human orifices. But overall, the retail area didn’t look too sleazy or dirty.

There was a surprisingly clean-cut thirty-something guy behind the counter, an older couple in the back looking at leather paddles, and a man in a trench coat in the corner flipping through a magazine. He wore a baseball cap pulled low over his face, too. Glad I wasn’t the only one who’d employed that not-so-subtle technique.

“Help you find something?” the guy at the register asked.

“Just looking,” I said as confidently as I could manage—which was pretty damn confident, given my career. Speaking in front of a courtroom was good practice for acting self-assured even when you weren’t.

I wasn’t about to ask where the toys with remotes were, so I wandered through some aisles that looked promising. Passing shelves of dildos from every size between barely-there to get-that-monster-the-hell-away-from-me was rather eye opening. I figured this place must sell a lot of lube.

At the end of an aisle, I spotted a small cardboard display of batteries, so I figured I must be getting close. Sure enough, there was a section of the back wall that had vibrating eggs. Most were inexplicably bright neon colors and were attached to remotes by thin cords.

The remote was attached? What was the fun in that? I let out a small chuckle, and the man in the corner turned toward the sound. I ignored him. He was probably a flasher with that trench coat. Did he even have anything on underneath it? I resisted the urge to sneak a peek at his legs.

Browsing, I found a few toys that had separate remotes. There was a vibrating butterfly that supposedly could nestle up against a woman’s clit. Who on earth decided that an insect, even a pretty insect, was a good shape for a sex toy? Briefly, I wondered how Ian would play up the selling points of something like that. Another butterfly was supposed to tickle the woman’s clit and extend a few inches inside of her. I never thought I’d see a purple butterfly with a three-inch cock.

Amusing as they were, they didn’t look very practical or enjoyable with the tangle of elastic straps attached to them. I kept looking, moving farther down the wall. A few of the toys were just simple vibrating eggs that the woman could insert. Those had potential.

Moving farther, I found some vibrating butt plugs. Yeah, like that was going to happen. Still, I felt a morbid curiosity while gaping at one of the larger ones. I’m not sure I could fit that sucker in the cupholder of my car, let alone in my—

“Wow, you’re more adventurous than I thought.”

I about jumped out of my skin to find the trench-coated figure at my side. I was already three feet away from him when I paused long enough to take a good look. “You scared me,” I said, moving back into range and punching him in the arm.

“Sorry,” Ian said, not sounding sorry at all.

“I thought you were a flasher in that coat,” I said, trying to calm my rapid breathing so that his smug smile wouldn’t get any wider. Maybe I should hit him again.

“I can flash you later if you want. But right now I want to see what size vibrating butt plug you’re planning to get.”

“Very funny,” I said, still trying to recover from the shock of seeing him here. “I was trying to see if there were any more choices of toys with detached remotes.”

“All right, we’ll save the more extreme stuff for later,” he said, and this time, I did try to smack him again, but he caught my wrist and held my hand down, slipping his other arm around me. Together, we wandered back over to the slightly tamer vibrating toy section.

“Where’d you park?”

“Around the side of the hardware store. How about this one?” he said, holding up a large peach-colored egg that boasted of ‘authentic feeling of skin’. Why was an egg supposed to have a realistic skin feeling?

“Too weird.”

“This one?”

“Too pink.” No way was I putting anything neon inside of me. “I’m still surprised to see you here. I thought I had to do this all on my own.”

“I wouldn’t leave you alone in an adult toy store,” he said. “You might get flashed by a strange man in a trench coat.”

“Oh, like it was much safer making me play in my underwear in a public restroom?”

Ian grinned. “You weren’t alone there, either.”

“What? You were there? Where were you?”

“Right outside the door of the women’s room.”

“Really? Why?”

“To make sure no one else went in.”

I couldn’t believe it. He’d really been outside that whole time? But it’d been such a big restroom, I probably wouldn’t have heard a marching band on the other side of the door. “Did anyone try to come in?”

“One woman with two little kids.”

“And you stopped her? What’d you tell her?”

“That it was closed for repairs and there was a family restroom a few stores down.”

“How’d you know where one was?”

“I didn’t,” he said, a crooked grin on his face. I didn’t know whether to scold him for sending that woman on a wild goose chase or whether to enjoy this playful, teasing, sexy side of my husband. I hadn’t seen it in a long time.

Still ... I should probably go with female solidarity here. “That poor woman.”

“Hey, she didn’t come back, so maybe there really was a family restroom over there.”

“Or maybe she thought you were a pervert hanging out in front of the women’s room.”

“Yeah, and the big tent in my pants from hearing you moan probably didn’t help me seem any more legitimate.”

“As I said—a big ol’ pervert.” I was teasing but also a little pleased to know that my audio efforts had turned him on that much.

“Yeah, but at least I’m your pervert. And you’re mine. So let’s pick you out a remote-controlled toy.”