“What the hell’s the matter with you?” Logan slapped Gabe upside the head. “For the last ten minutes, you’ve done nothing but stare into space. If I wanted to have a beer by myself I would’ve come to the Ponderosa alone.”
“I’ve got stuff I’m thinking about.”
“Like what?”
Like your sister, asshole. “Just stuff.”
“Oh, stuff. Glad we got that cleared up.” Logan glanced up at the TV. “We’ve got another hour to kill, so do something entertaining.”
Annie had kicked them out of the house while she put the finishing touches on Raylene’s dinner.
“So she’s really leaving tomorrow, huh?” Gabe had struggled with it the entire week, telling himself it was for the best. There wasn’t anything here to hold her. No job, no home, only years of bad history.
“Yep. We tried to get her to stay longer, but she and Nugget don’t mix.”
“Seems like she’s mixing better now, wouldn’t you say?”
“Yeah. Better than before, that’s for sure. It sounds like Lucky, Clay, and Flynn are getting ready to make her an offer on her land. That’ll go a long way to putting her back in the black.” He shook his head. “I always knew she’d blow through that money, the way she was living.”
“She’ll be able to buy her horse property.” Suddenly, the idea of selling property to buy different property sounded absurd. “Hey, I’ve got to go.”
“What are you talking about? We just got here.”
“I forgot something.” Gabe slipped off his stool and made it to the door before Logan got any more in his face. “I’ll see you tonight,” he called across the bar.
As soon as he got out into the square he called Raylene. “Meet me at your property.”
“I can’t right now. I’m helping Annie peel potatoes for my dinner.”
“What if I told you we missed the real gold?”
“I’d ask you how many beers you had with Logan.”
“Come on, Ray, meet me at your land. I’ll be there in ten minutes.” He hung up before she could argue with him, then drove way faster than the speed limit permitted.
The trench Rufus and his two thugs had dug was still there. Gabe slammed the door of his SUV and walked closer, kicking in some dirt. As soon as he could carve out the time, he planned to fill in the hole. Gabe wandered around the lower part of the property, scoping it out. The sun was setting over the mountains and the sky was a vivid red and blue and pink and yellow. It was cold enough to see his breath, but not cold enough to snow. Soon it would be spring and the days would get longer.
He took the trail down to the river and skipped a few rocks, working it all out in his head. The hills wouldn’t be good for much, but they did afford the parcel a good degree of privacy. And they were beautiful. Come summer, they’d be awash in flowers. Heather and primrose and a thousand other plants Gabe didn’t know the names of. But most of the land was semi-flat—and usable.
He swung around when he heard Raylene’s truck pull up, but waited for her to find him. This is what he wanted her to see. The breathtaking views of the Feather River and the mighty Sierra mountains looming in the background.
He heard footsteps clattering through the trees, then Raylene utter a swear word and he smiled to himself. She came around the corner and pushed through the brush in her tight Western jeans and those turquoise boots that never failed to rev his engine.
“What? What was so important that I had to leave Annie with all the work?”
“This,” he said, and lifted his arms. “Why can’t this be your horse farm?”
She huffed out a breath. “Because it’s in Nugget.”
He wanted to ask what was wrong with Nugget. It was where he lived, after all, but obviously he didn’t factor into her decision. “I get that. And in the beginning, I would’ve agreed that you couldn’t live here. But things have changed; people’s opinions about you have changed.”
“I don’t know about that. But, more importantly, my opinion of this place hasn’t changed. I hate it.” She sounded too defensive, like someone trying to protect herself, if you asked Gabe.
“It doesn’t seem like you hate it. You’d be close to Logan and Annie when they have the baby.” And then, because he couldn’t help himself, he blurted, “And close to me.”
She didn’t say anything for a while, just stared down at the toes of her boots. “It would never work. None of my relationships ever have.”
“You don’t know until you try.”
“I’ve tried, and they still failed.”
He didn’t know what to say to that, only that he wanted her to stay more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. But he couldn’t force her. “I just thought this would be perfect for you.” He stared up at the painted sky. “And the best part is that you already own it.”
“Even if it was perfect, I’d still need capital to build a barn, corrals, fences, a place to live. I’d need stock. Where would I get that kind of money?”
“Where would you get it in LA?”
She hitched her shoulders. “I guess I’ll invest the money I get from this place, and maybe in a few years I’ll have enough.”
At least she had a semblance of a plan, though it seemed counterproductive to sell perfectly good land to buy new property. “It’s your choice; I had just hoped you’d stay.” He wanted to tell her that he’d fallen for her and get down on his knees and beg her not to leave.
But it would mean taking on the responsibility of making her happy, and he just couldn’t put himself in that untenable place again.
“You want to follow me back?” she asked. “Dinner is in less than thirty minutes.”
“Yeah, sure.”
She started to walk away.
“Raylene?”
“Yes.” She turned to see what he wanted.
He might as well tell her. “I love you. I didn’t want to.” He scrubbed his hand through his hair. “But it happened and now I don’t know what the hell to do about it.”
She stared at him for a while and then shook her head. “Bad timing, I guess.” She continued to head for her truck.
“That’s it? Bad timing. That’s all you’re gonna say?” He’d just for the first time in his life told a woman he loved her and she’d walked away. “Hold up.” Gabe went after her.
“If we don’t get moving, we’ll be late,” she said when he took her arm. “Annie put a lot of work into this dinner.”
“Did you not hear what I said?” He paused. “I love you.”
“Then we’re in the same boat, because I love you, too, and I didn’t want to either. I’m not good at it. Worse, I’m destructive.” When he didn’t say anything, she reiterated, “I’m like a human wrecking ball, crushing everything in my wake. I don’t want to do that to you, Gabe. You’re the only man I ever wanted to save from myself. That’s how much I love you.”
“You’ve never known a man like me. I can save myself, Raylene. But I don’t need saving from you. You know why? Because you’re good.” He put his hand over her heart. “Right here, you’re good. I know you don’t think so, but I’m telling you, you’re good. Right down to your marrow. You’re good.”
Tears streamed down her face. “No, I’m not. You only see what you want to see.”
“Nope.” He shook his head adamantly. “I see what Logan sees, what Annie sees, what Harper sees, what those women at Lucy’s House see. I see good. I see so much damn good that I don’t even know if I’m worthy.”
“You’re the worthiest man I’ve ever known.” She choked on a sob. “But you’re a little blind where I’m concerned.”
“Nope,” he said again, and cupped her face with both hands. “My eyes are wide open. And you know what I see? I see the most beautiful woman in the world standing before me. Inside and out. Here.” He clasped her face. “And here.” He touched her heart. “I want you to stay, Raylene. I want to see where we go. But I understand that you’re trying to wrest back control of your life, and I won’t get in the way of that. You have to do what’s right for you, even if it means going back to LA.”
She swiped at her cheeks, wiping away tears. “That’s why I love you.”
He wanted to say then just stay, but it had to be her decision. She’d already had too many men in her life telling her what to do. He wouldn’t be one of them. He couldn’t be responsible for her happiness, but he wanted her to have absolute fulfillment with every fiber of his body. And that meant letting her go if he had to.
“Let’s go eat,” he said, and took her hand.
* * * *
There were at least six cars in the driveway when Raylene pulled up to the farmhouse. The dinner was supposed to be a small family affair.
“What’s all this?” she asked Gabe, who’d parked alongside her and had come to her truck door.
He shrugged and leaned in to kiss her. “Dunno. Looks like Annie invited a few more people. You okay with that?”
“Do I have a choice?” Since the arrests, and her rejecting the offer from Moto Entertainment, she’d been treated well by her old nemeses. But Raylene knew better than to think that would last. “It’s one dinner.” By tomorrow morning she’d be on the road to Los Angeles. She felt a pang in her heart and tried to ignore it. “Sit by me, okay?”
“You got it.”
Gabe took her hand and together they walked into the house. When they entered the dining room a loud cheer went up. Raylene gazed around the table to see Harper, both sets of her parents, and all her siblings; Lucky, Tawny, and their daughter, Katie; Cecilia and Jake; Gia and Flynn; and Dana and her husband sitting there. She swallowed hard, uncomfortable with the attention. But when Harper begged Raylene to sit by her, a smile blossomed in her chest. Gabe shuffled around some chairs and both of them took places next to Harper.
Logan came over, squeezed her shoulder, and whispered, “What were the two of you up to?”
Raylene started to say something, but Gabe interrupted her. “Private stuff.” He locked eyes with Logan in a silent warning.
“Private, huh?” Logan grinned and started to say more, but Annie shot him a death glare.
“Everything is ready.” Donna came out of the kitchen. “So sit your butts down.”
“I’d like to make a toast before we get started.” Drew stood up. Someone filled Raylene’s goblet with wine and when no one was looking, Gabe replaced it with a glass of water. “To Raylene, who stood up to the bad guys and who we’re blessed to call a friend. To your bravery and quick thinking, and for protecting Harper.” With wet eyes he held Raylene’s gaze, clearly not wanting to say more in front of his daughter.
“Hear, hear!” everyone shouted.
Logan made the next toast. “To my sister. There’s never a dull moment when she’s around, and I’m so lucky to have her.” He pointed his finger at her and winked. “Don’t go changing.”
She laughed, then tried to yank Gabe down when he stood up.
“My turn.” He raised his glass. “To the best person I know. I love you, Ray. No matter what you decide to do, my heart will be with you.” He sat back down and the room went instantly quiet, not entirely sure what that had been about.
Annie, sensing there was something highly personal going on in a room full of people, decided to change the subject, thank goodness. “We’re doing this buffet style. Everyone grab a plate and come on into the kitchen.”
The guests began moving toward the food. When the coast was clear, Raylene mouthed to Gabe, “I can’t. I just can’t.” But the thought of leaving him tomorrow made her heart fold in half.
“Do what you gotta do,” he whispered, and for the first time in her life she didn’t feel pressure to bend to someone else’s will. This was her choice. She had all the power.
“Let’s eat, baby.” He guided her into the kitchen where casseroles lined the counters.
Someone had smoked a brisket and there was fried chicken, pork ribs, and grilled vegetable skewers. Annie’s refrigerator was already jammed with soups and dishes people had brought while Raylene was convalescing from her attack. Gabe filled her plate, then his, and they went back to the dining room to take their seats.
“You look a lot better,” Harper said. She’d been over a few times to visit Raylene.
“Thanks.” Raylene had covered some of the bruising with makeup, but for the most part the swelling was gone.
Everyone began talking at once, and the room hummed with chatter as everyone ate. Under the table, Gabe rested his hand on her knee. She laced her fingers through his and they sat that way throughout dinner.
Clay made his way over. “You got a second to talk?”
Gabe started to get up to give them privacy, but she pulled him back down. Anything Clay had to say, he could tell her in front of Gabe. Clay motioned for Lucky and Flynn to join them.
“We’d like to buy your property, if it’s still for sale,” he said, adding, “at full price.”
She thought about all the things she could do with that money, including the debts she could pay, and the fact that she wouldn’t have to get a roommate. Maybe she could even keep her truck. Then she thought about leaving Gabe. About how he’d left their future in her hands. How he would always be her hero.
She tried to picture raising her cutting horses in another place and couldn’t.
“Did you talk to Dana about it?” Raylene turned her gaze down toward the other end of the table, where Dana was in an animated conversation with Gia and Annie.
“We thought we’d talk to you first,” Lucky said, and Flynn nodded in agreement. “Has anything changed?”
Yeah, something had. “I’m not sure I still want to sell it.” She looked at Gabe, whose expression was filled with such hope that her love for him soared even higher than she thought possible.
“No?” Clay sounded annoyed, like she was up to her old tricks.
“I’m seeing someone here,” she said. “And he’s asked me to stay. And, as he pointed out, it would be awfully silly to sell perfectly good horse property just to buy different horse property.”
Gabe broke into a grin while Clay exchanged glances with Lucky and Flynn.
“Horse property?” Clay turned back to her. “I’m not following.”
“I want to raise cutting horses. Until recently, I’d planned to do it in Southern California. I’m assuming you wouldn’t mind a cutting horse farm next door to your respective properties?”
“Nope,” Lucky said, and smiled, first at her, then at Gabe. “Cutting horses are good.”
“I’m absolutely good with a horse farm,” Flynn said.
“Yep, me too.” Clay slapped Gabe on the back.
“It won’t be for a while. I have to get a job and raise some cash first.” She had to find a place to live, a way to make a living…the whole thing was crazy. But when she saw utter adoration shining in Gabe’s eyes, she knew she’d made the best choice in the world.
Gabe clinked his fork against his glass. “I’m making another toast.” He rose and cleared his throat. “To Raylene, who’s decided to stay in Nugget and make me the happiest man alive. We love each other.” He met Logan’s eyes across the room. “Anyone have a problem with that?”
There was a long stretch of silence, then thunderous applause.
“Then if it’s all the same to you, we’re going to skip dessert.” He grabbed her hand, and together they made their way outside, under a perfect Nugget star-filled sky, to plan their future.