Chapter Twenty-Six
Sawyer
Brunch was wonderful—full of love and laughter. I loved how laid-back Lana was in her flannel shirt and jeans—so much like Kurt. Which from what I knew of Kurt, may have been less in common than he thought.
Because Kurt traveled so often, his mom spent a lot of time with her sister in Arizona. Lana was easy to be with and talk to. Idly, I wondered what she would think about having a grandbaby. Part of me was nervous for her to find out because I wanted her to like me.
Kurt sat in the middle of the back seat, sandwiched between Lana and me. It was a little comical. I hadn’t planned on three of us being back there, just Kurt and his mom. At least there was a partition to give us some privacy. I snuggled into Kurt’s warm side, and the drive almost lulled me to sleep. He’d taken off his leather coat earlier for me to use as a blanket.
The car pulled to a stop, and he brushed a stray hair from my face. “Hey, sleepyhead, wake up. We’re here.”
Stretching, I looked out the window. “Wow. This place is beautiful.”
“It is.” Kurt seemed lost in a memory.
Sunlight glistened off the snow all around us. The lake was frozen, and a few ducks walked across it. Poor guys, they were probably hungry.
“Are you coming, baby?”
It was sweet that he wanted to include me. I gave a smile. “I’ll give you guys a few minutes alone. I’m not sure why, but I think the two of you could use a moment alone.”
Kurt kissed my forehead. “Thanks. It’ll be just a few minutes.”
Lana opened the door and got out. A frigid blast of air hit us. Kurt handed me my coat. “Bundle up when you join us. We don’t want a frozen baby.”
“Yes, sir.” I gave him a salute. “No baby popsicle.”
“I can’t believe you listened that easily.”
I winked. “Don’t get used to it.”
With a chuckle, he got out of the car. “I won’t.”
Even though I was trying to keep the situation light, my heart melted at his concern. There was no way Kurt was like his father. No way. My beautiful man would never leave us. I knew he was probably still freaked out like me, but he was making the best of the situation we’d found ourselves in.
I watched my amazing man join his mother at the lake’s edge. A gust of wind whipped through their hair. He wrapped his arms around her, and she leaned into him. The tenderness of the moment touched me. I felt like I was intruding on a private moment just by being here, but they’d insisted I come. For some reason, Kurt wanted me there. Lana’s shoulders shook as if she was crying. My heart broke as I watched Kurt be a pillar of strength for his mother.
Did he enjoy his childhood at all? Watching the scene in front of me, I made a vow to give him as much unconditional love as I could every minute of every day. And I would spend all those moments bringing him as much happiness as possible.
Fifteen minutes or so passed before Kurt waved me over to join them. A surge of anxiety rolled through me as I watched Lana wipe her eyes and say something to her son. They hugged again. Maybe I should wait a few more minutes. Kurt caught my gaze and nodded for me to come.
Buttoning my jacket, I walked down to the lake’s edge to join them. Oh, it’s cold. Living in Florida most of my life had made me a wimp in this type of weather. The glinting of the sun off the snow looked like diamonds. There was a somberness in the air, and I remained quiet for a few minutes as Kurt wrapped me up in his arms. Finally, I murmured, “It’s beautiful out here.”
“It is,” Lana said. “Thank you for arranging this, Sawyer.” She looked at her son. “Kurt said you don’t know the significance of this place.”
“No, he only mentioned it was special when we were in LA.”
She took a step forward, looking over the lake with her back to us. “The fourth time I tried to commit suicide, I entered a facility here in Denver.”
Kurt squeezed me to him. A small gasp left my lips, but I remained otherwise silent.
A few long seconds passed before she continued. “Kurt was sixteen, and he drove me from Nevada, where we lived at the time, to my sister’s in Arizona. From there, my sister arranged for me to come here to heal. While I was getting better, I asked Kurt where he wanted to move to have a fresh start. He chose Cocoa Beach. My sister helped get him settled and enrolled in high school there. Until I was better, she stayed with Kurt in Florida. That’s where he met Dylan and Knoah. Once a month for nine months, Kurt visited here. Before we headed to the airport after I was discharged from the facility to head to Florida, I brought Kurt here and vowed to never attempt suicide again.”
Kurt grabbed his mother’s hand. “And she has fought every day since then to keep that promise.”
Tears threatened to spill over with how much pride Kurt had for his mother.
“I have.” Turning around, Lana smiled at me. “We haven’t been back since, but it was time. We’ve come a long way since then. I’m grateful for this place and for being able to keep that promise to my boy.”
“Me, too. It brought me Kurt,” I whispered.
A few tears trickled down her face and she wiped them. “Yes, it did. And I finally see him happy the way he’s deserved to be all these years. I’ll give you guys a few minutes.”
Lana walked back to the car, the sound of snow crunching beneath her feet. Why do Kurt and I need a few minutes alone? I moved closer into Kurt as the wind picked up. “You’re a good son. She’s lucky to have you.”
“I’m lucky to have her. Despite everything, I wouldn’t trade her for anything. She’s shown me what true strength is.” Kurt turned my way and grabbed my hands. “I can’t promise that I’ll never fuck up.”
“We all make mistakes. It’s part of living.”
He took a deep breath. “I promise to try to never be my father. I will be part of this baby’s life. And I will do everything I can to make you happy.”
“We’re in this together. I’m not going anywhere.”
Fear was evident in his eyes. “I’m scared Sawyer…so fucking scared I’m going to hurt you and our baby like my father did to me and my mom.”
I blinked a few times as I searched his face, trying to understand the admission in his words. This place had kept the only significant promise ever made to him. The one that kept his mother from trying to kill herself again. And now he was making a promise to me about his biggest fear. I put my hand to his cheek. “And I promise to stick by your side through the good and the bad.”
“Always.”
“Always.”
* * *
“Pizza is here!” Kurt walked up the steps, and savory smells filled the air.
“Oh, man! That smells ah-mazing!” My stomach wanted food, and it wanted it immediately.
Kurt set the pizzas on the counter as I got out the plates. I took a breadstick and took a bite. Food had never tasted so good. I wanted to steal all the breadsticks and keep them to myself.
The door to the bathroom hallway opened. “Sawyer, your phone is ringing,” Lana called.
Thinking it might be the venue in New York calling to confirm the change in layout of the stage, I said, “Oh, would you mind grabbing it for me? It’s plugged in in our bedroom on the nightstand.”
“Sure!”
Unable to stand it any longer, I grabbed a slice of pizza and took a bite. Fire burst across my tongue. “Hot! Hot! Hot!”
Son of a bitch.
I spit it out and fanned my tongue as Kurt chuckled. “You would think you hadn’t eaten in ages.”
Around my burning tongue, I mumbled, “Shut it. I blame you.” I continued to wave at my tongue to cool it off.
Lana came back into the living area holding a piece of paper. Something was off about her face as she stared at it. “I saw this on the nightstand. I wasn’t snooping, but I can’t pretend I didn’t see it.”
What does she have? I kept waving at my tongue. It was burned to a crisp.
She turned around the ultrasound picture of the baby, and I brought my tongue back in my mouth. Oh shit.
“Kurt?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he answered, his eyes wide.
We were frozen and apparently unable to speak. This was uncharted territory for us.
“Is this a baby?” she asked tentatively, her eyes shifting to my stomach.
Oh double shit. I felt like we had done something naughty as I stared at the ultrasound picture.
“Yeah,” we answered in unison, sounding guilty as hell.
Lana raised her eyebrow. “Am I going to get anything else besides ‘Yeah’?”
I had no idea what came over me, but I pointed a finger. “It’s his fault!”
“I think it took two,” Kurt quipped back with a raised eyebrow.
I pushed all the blame off me. “You’re the one claiming to have super sperm!”
“Because they broke through your birth control and a condom and got you pregnant.” His arms were out to the side, his whole demeanor exuding “Duh.”
Bingo. Victory is mine. “So, that makes it your fault I’m pregnant.”
Lana burst out laughing. “My word. You two are perfect for each other.”
I stuck out my tongue at Kurt, and he rolled his eyes. Lana turned the picture back around and looked at it. “I’m going to be a grandmother?”
The awe in her voice brought me up as Kurt pulled me to him, his hands covering my abdomen.
Kurt answered, “Yes, you are. Sawyer’s eight weeks, and she’s due August twenty-first.”
“I’m going to be a grandmother.” She looked up with tears in her eyes. “I can’t believe it. I…this…” Lana seemed to be taking it well.
“You aren’t upset?” I asked tentatively.
“Why would I be upset?” A look of confusion passed over her face, and her brow furrowed.
“Umm…we just started dating and I’m pregnant.”
Kurt coughed. “Super sperm.”
Lana slapped Kurt on the back of the head. “I don’t want to hear anything else about your sperm. I’m your mother.”
At that point, I couldn’t hold the giggles in. “We definitely need to work on our delivery when we tell other people.”
“Yeah. Yeah, we do.” Kurt was all smiles when I glanced up at his face.
Lana held out her arms to me, and I walked into them, loving how welcoming they felt. “How are you feeling?”
“Good. I’m tired and have been sleeping a lot. That’s the only symptom I have.”
“And snoring,” Kurt added.
Lana hit Kurt in the stomach. “Be nice. You did this.”
I giggled. Yes, yes, I’ve won.
Kurt sighed. “I see how this is going to go. Two against one.”
“Yes, that’s exactly how it’s going to go. Bam! Boom shakalaka.” I started dancing around in victory with my hands in the air.
Groaning, Kurt raked his hands through his hair. “Don’t jiggle the baby.”
“Lana, please tell him I am not jiggling his baby.”
She snickered. “I’m staying out of that one. Can I be called Gigi?”
Kurt grew quiet and smiled, so I said, “I think Gigi would be perfect.”
“Me, too.” Kurt echoed.
His mom looked at the picture again. “I can’t wait to meet this little person. I can’t wait to tell my sister.”
Oh no. I came up short, wondering how Kurt would address that. But he was on it as he grew serious. “Mom, you can’t tell anyone. Not right now.”
“Not even Aunt Margaret?”
He shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck. “No, no one. I need to control when this becomes public knowledge. This story could snowball on us, and we don’t need any added stress.”
Realization dawned in Lana’s eyes. Being tied to a megastar had its complications. Not much in our lives remained private. “I understand. I promise I won’t say a word.”
“I know, Mom.”
After a few more minutes of staring at the picture, she said, “When you do make the announcement, make it sweet. Do not say you got Sawyer pregnant because you have super sperm.”
My word, I love this family. Here was a family I would be forever tied to. And one that wanted me, too.