Chapter Seventeen
Vaughn’s eyes darted back and forth. “Emily…”
“Yes?” I wondered if it was on his tongue too. The words that had struck me this morning on the balcony.
Words I hadn’t said to anyone before. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t felt them. I had. I had felt them more than once, but I was always too afraid to say them first. Maybe that was my mistake. I waited for someone else to tell me how they felt first. I hid behind the shelter of their words. I protected myself by not going first.
“Em, I-I—”
I couldn’t stop it from happening. “I love you.”
There was silence between us. My eyes dropped to the floor. “Oh God. Was that not what you wanted to hear?”
He lifted my chin in the air. “I don’t think I’ve ever wished things could be different before.”
He crushed his lips to mine. I didn’t care that he hadn’t said it. I felt it. I felt it when his hands circled my body. When he stripped the clothes from my skin. When he lifted me into the shower.
He pressed my back into the wall. “Why now? Why did you say it now?” he growled. I thought I heard pain in his voice.
I was breathing so hard, I could barely talk. The water rushed over his back and between us. His hand pried my legs apart. I gasped when I felt him circle my clit. My mouth parted with a sigh.
“You don’t have to say it, Vaughn.” I bit my lip. “I just wanted you to know before you left. It’s ok.”
He held my eyes with his gaze. His body pinned me to the shower wall. His erection was solid against my hip. God, I wanted him. I wanted him inside me. This man I loved.
“But I’m leaving tonight.” He lifted my leg over his hip.
I nodded. “It’s ok. I love you means no pressure.” I whimpered when he pushed his cock to my entrance.
“Fuck, Emily. You just made everything complicated.”
My eyes flared. “No. It’s not.” My hips jerked forward to show him that I accepted what was between us, no matter if he said it or not.
His hands took mine overhead. “You know you drive me fucking insane?”
I nodded. “Yes.” My voice was breathy.
“And your body is like my drug?”
I nodded again. “God, yes.”
His fingers curled against my knuckles as he started to push inside me.
“And I don’t think it was an option not to fall in love with you.”
He thrust with powerful force as my body wrapped around him. My heart seized. My blood pumped faster than before. It was the complete ecstasy of Vaughn possessing me and hearing the words simultaneously.
I lost gravity. I lost my hold on reality as his body took mine. He lifted my ass against the wall and I straddled him with my other leg. He surged inside me with strong strokes. Each one pinning me against the tile with more urgency than the last.
“Why did you say it?” he panted, kissing my throat.
He pushed inside me. “Ohh,” I cried. I had no way to support myself or gain traction. Vaughn held me as I slid up and down at his will.
“I’m leaving tonight,” he repeated.
“I know.” I found words. “I love you. I do.”
I touched the rippled lines of biceps and dug my fingertips into the skin on his shoulders.
My body tightened as my core shook with the last threads of resistance. The orgasm had built to epic proportions. Vaughn reached between my legs, caressing my clit and I lost it.
“Vaughn,” I screamed into the shower as the last wall collapsed and the orgasm broke free.
“Fuck,” he growled pumping harder and faster.
I rode him wildly, abandoning fears. I clung to him, grasping for more of his skin. His back. His arms. His hands splayed on the wall behind me as he pushed deep, giving in to his own release.
I sucked in gulps of air. The water splattered off his shoulders, hitting my cheeks.
His head hung against my neck. “Fuck.”
I raised his head so that I could stare in his eyes. “I don’t like that you have to leave, but I think I like goodbye sex.” I smiled shyly.
He lowered my legs to the floor. He kissed me, sucking and biting my lips. The flutter in my core returned. I didn’t know anything for sure, but I didn’t know how this could be anything but love.
We opened our eyes.
“I have to go soon.”
“Will you call me when you get where you’re going?” I asked.
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to.” He turned around and reached for the shampoo.
I leaned into his back, circling my arms around his chest while my cheek rested on his back. I loved how he felt under my palms.
“Maybe a text or a message. I have that international app. I can give you my username.” I had added it to my phone just for him.
He ran the shampoo through his hair. “I’ll see what I can do.”
His hands landed on top of mine. He rotated to rinse the shampoo. We were chest to chest. My nipples grazed the indentations of his muscles. My lips pointed toward his. He brushed his wet lips over mine. I smiled.
“I can’t wait for you to get back.”
He was quiet.
He turned me around and soaped my back with body wash. When we were finished rinsing off, Vaughn reached for the towels, wrapping me in a spiral before drying his hair and stepping from the shower.
We both dressed and he picked up the few things he had brought with him last night.
“I guess you’ll have to get to know Preston another time,” I mused.
“I guess so.” He tucked his wallet into his back pocket and unplugged his phone from the charger.
“Maybe when you get back we can do a different double date. A movie? Or one of the shows that are coming up for the holidays?”
“Maybe.” He walked past me and pulled his jacket from the hook on the back of the door.
The charge between us had changed. I couldn’t explain it, but it seemed as if Vaughn was so distracted from his travel plans he couldn’t focus. As soon as the shower sex was over, he was on a clearly distinct mission to collect his belongings. I didn’t want to believe it was because I told him I loved him. He already knew—saying it out loud only made it official.
“When is your flight?” I sat on the bed and watched him, confused by how broody he had become.
“Three hours. I have to pack.”
“At least you had a shower,” I teased.
He sighed. “Yeah.” He walked toward the bed. “I have to get going.”
“I could ride with you. Help you pack? Or drop you off at the airport?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. I have to run by the office first and pick up files. I don’t really have time.”
“I could see your office then.”
“No, Em.”
I felt the disappointment sink in. I didn’t want him to leave. I didn’t know how to stall him without coming across as immature. I should be able to handle this. It was a business trip. When he went to Germany for a week things weren’t this serious between us. We had one date. We were way past that point now.
The last months had been everything I wanted in a relationship. Knowing there was going to be an interruption in that made me nervous. It shouldn’t. I should have more confidence in him. In us.
I pulled my shoulders back.
“I hope you have fun wherever you go.” I plastered on a fake smile.
“Thanks.” He leaned down to kiss me. “Bye, Emily.”
He backed up toward the door, pausing for a second. I thought he was going to say something, but he turned and was gone.
I fell on the bed, trying not to feel sad. He would be back soon, I told myself. And between now and then I had plenty to keep me busy. I had more than most people. I had a huge wrongful termination case. I had a meeting with Max Harrison this week. I had a roommate to reconnect with.
I pulled the pillow to my chest. I had all of that, but what I really wanted had just walked out the door.