Chapter Ten

Anthony

“And the numbers have risen since October,” Jerry, our CFO, explained. “Anthony, do you have anything to add?”

“Um, no,” I said, snapping myself back to reality.

Jerry gave me a strange look and sat down, the next speaker standing up. My mind had been on Eliza all day, and this meeting was no exception. She was driving me nuts. Actually, I was driving myself nuts over her. I had planned it all out perfectly, ordered everything I thought she would like, ordered everything vegan for Missy, and had the food sent over to the bridal shop for dinner. I even had the florist deliver fresh roses to be placed in the middle of the table. To top it all off I sent her a card I knew that she would find cute and endearing. I literally thought of everything and checked it over with Melinda before finalizing all of the plans.

Melinda had seemed impressed and told me good luck before I sent over the order and called the shop’s owner again. I didn’t know what was going on; maybe they didn’t get it. I looked up at the speaker and pushed out my chair, quietly excusing myself from the meeting. If I wanted to get anything done, I needed to know for sure that I had done everything that I could. I called the bridal shop and talked to the owner, who assured me that they got all the food, the flowers, and the card. I asked her how she took it, but she clamped down hard, showing Eliza privacy and solidarity. I could understand that the woman didn’t know me.

I hung up the phone and leaned against the wall, a depressing feeling dripping into my stomach. There was no way I was going back into that meeting looking like someone had just kicked my puppy. The last thing I wanted was for the senior managers to think I had something going on that I couldn’t handle. In reality, they would be right—I did have something going on, and I had no idea what to do about it. Women had been a mystery my whole life, and I always thought that Amy made it easy for me. Now, I was facing a situation with a woman I barely knew, and all the answers seemed so far away.

I had sent over dinner and a card to apologize to Eliza, and I had heard absolutely nothing back. I knew at that point I should let it go, but at the same time, I didn’t know if I could. I had always had everything go the way I wanted it to, and this was completely out of my hands. I could call Missy, but I figured she would treat me the same way the bridal shop owner had, and for good reason.

I looked back at the meeting and sighed, deciding it was best I just called it quits on the meeting front for the day. I stopped in the employee lounge and grabbed a cup of coffee. We were out of creamer, so I opted to drink it black, feeling like my luck had just flat run out. I walked back to my office and looked up at my secretary.

“Can you order more cream for the employee lounge?”

“Yes, sir,” she said. “And your mail is on your desk.”

As I walked forward, I shut the door behind me, sighing deeply. I plopped down in my office chair and picked up Amy’s picture for a moment before setting it back down. Why did everything have to be so difficult? I checked my phone for messages, but there was nothing. I picked up the stack of mail on my desk and started to go through it, tossing the junk mail in the trash can. I had everything delivered to the office so I wouldn’t have to deal with mail at the apartment building. Suddenly I stopped, grasping a white envelope in my hand with my name etched across the front of it in cursive.

I pulled the envelope to my face and took in a deep breath, smelling that familiar scent of patchouli and lavender. Quickly I tore it open and laughed at the picture of a cat with boxing gloves on the front of it. I opened it up and immediately noticed Eliza’s signature. She had sent me a card back, which was definitely in her character. I let out a deep breath as I held the card in my hand, almost too afraid to read the words etched across the inside.

Anthony,

You sure do know how to bomb a date, as well as knowing how to make one awesome. I forgive you for now, but don’t think you are off the hook. You have some serious butt kissing to do.

Xoxo

Eliza

I turned the card over and saw that she had written on the back of the card as well. “Have a good day in the marketing world,” it said. I smiled big, realizing that she had forgiven me. I didn’t think that it was possible, but she had actually forgiven me. I flipped the card back into the envelope and turned it over, realizing that she hadn’t sent the card through the mail. I jumped up from my chair and ran out of the office, holding the letter up to my secretary.

“Who delivered this card?” I really hoped that Eliza was still there.

“It was a carrier service,” she said carefully. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” I said disappointedly, tapping the doorframe. “Thanks.”

I stood there for a second, staring at the envelope and wondering what my next step was. Should I call her? Should I text her? I glanced up at my secretary, who was still staring at me confused, and smiled, turning back toward the office. I sat back down behind my desk and plopped the envelope down, thinking about Eliza. She had received my message, and instead of running for the hills like any normal girl would do, she put herself out there and decided to forgive me. I couldn’t quite understand what the hell she saw in me. I was a widower with severe commitment issues and the inability to move past my own fears.

I sighed, sketching a box on the paper on my desk as I imagined Eliza picking out the kitty boxer card and writing me that message. She was definitely a brave girl, which should have encouraged me but instead made me just a little nervous. I had gotten her to forgive me, but now I had to actually show her that I was serious about what I had said. I had to open myself up to her, which was not really on my list of things that I wanted to do. This was why Melinda told me I had to be ready.

Tuesday had been such a blur for me, and the day started out just fine. I was excited to see Eliza that night, work was easy for a Tuesday, and I had made sure to make reservations at this eclectic restaurant in Lower Manhattan. I knew it would fit her personality and she would really like it, so I made sure we had a really good table. My secretary had scheduled the car out for where we were going, including to pick up Eliza, and all that was left to do was make it until eight when I picked her up. But then it happened, the unthinkable.

I walked into the office, not realizing I had anyone inside. As soon as I hit the doorway I froze, looking in at Amy’s mom sitting at my desk. I had gotten really close to her before Amy died, but she lived in Canada, so I didn’t see her very often. She was there visiting friends and thought she would stop by and check on me.

When I walked into the office, she was holding Amy’s picture and looking down with tears in her eyes. I walked over and set my briefcase down, letting her have a moment to collect herself. She put the picture down and looked at me fondly, wrapping her arms around me and squeezing tightly.

“It’s so good to see you,” she had said. “I wanted to come by and make sure you were doing okay.”

“It’s really good to see you too,” I said.

We sat and talked for several hours, catching up on life and family, and reminiscing about Amy. By the time our conversation was over, my chest was throbbing and I could feel that same feeling I had when I had lost her. I started to second-guess myself, get scared, and I completely froze. I canceled the car service and closed myself in the office, pulling out the bottle of whiskey I kept in my bottom drawer. I sat there for hours, long after Eliza had figured out I wasn’t coming, just completely losing it. It didn’t happen very often, but when it did, it was hard. After that, I had no idea how to explain it to Eliza, so I hid like I always did when something was uncomfortable.

I knew when I woke up that what I had done was terrible, but it was over and I didn’t know what to do. I sat there in my apartment thinking about how much of an asshole I was until finally I pulled it together and went to work. Normally I had been fine seeing Amy’s family, but for some reason that time it was a game changer for me. Maybe it was because I had Eliza on my mind. Maybe it was the fact that I had been thinking about Amy a lot over the last week. Whatever it was, her mom’s presence threw me for a loop.

I knew that it was a situation that could have been explained if I had taken the time to call Eliza and actually explain it to her. But I didn’t. I got drunk and passed out as soon as I walked into my house. I didn’t know what to say to the girl, anyway. I mean how was I going to tell her that I was canceling our date because my dead wife’s mother had come into town and now I was a shitty, crybaby mess? She would have thought I was insane or feel like many girls had, that somehow Amy was still a threat to them.

I sighed and looked down at the computer, trying to figure out what to do. I thought about asking Melinda again, but I had asked that girl too many love questions already. If I kept going I was going to have to give her a promotion. How would I explain that one to the upper management? I grabbed my phone and opened up the texts, deciding that something had to be done or I was going to lose my marbles.

Anthony: I got your card. It was sweet and funny. Thank you for giving me another chance. I’d love to take you on that date. Just let me know when you are free.

I looked at the text message several times before taking a deep breath and pressing the Send button. Hopefully, between the dinner and the card, she was going to have a good response to that. Her own card admitted I needed to make it up to her, so that was exactly what I was going to try to do if she would let me. She was one hell of a woman, and I didn’t want to lose out on that opportunity.

I set the phone down and stared at the screen, hoping beyond hope that she was going to reply. It was going to be a really long night if she didn’t.