Chapter Fifteen
Ash’s hold didn’t waver as I told my story. He listened to every word I said, processing and absorbing the information with his usual intensity. It helped that I didn’t have to look at his face. Instead, despite the pain shredding my insides, I spoke factually, keeping my eyes focused on the lake and the black-capped chickadee hanging upside down from a nearby branch. Upside down with evil at the horizon. That’s what my world had been like. All that grief wanted to drown me.
“Christ, Lia,” Ash said. “You never cease to amaze me. You’re a formidable contender.”
“Me?” He wouldn’t think so if only he realized how many times I’d failed at running away from Red, how many mistakes I’d made and how often I’d had to please Red, despite myself. “I don’t feel very formidable.”
“But you are.” He kissed the top of my head. “Now bear with me. What happened once Red came to the United States?”
“Miami, New York, Chicago, LA.” I remembered going to all those places as if sleepwalking. “He worked the country like a global CEO. The Rojas Cartel flourished in the United States. Marijuana, cocaine and heroin were Red’s ‘core’ products, as he liked to call them.”
“I found many state and federal investigations on both Red and the Rojas Cartel,” Ash said. “Why didn’t those investigations lead to indictments?”
“He was always ahead of the game.” I combed my fingers through Neil’s coat, leaving tracks on his fur along his spine. “Red schemed and bribed everyone in his path. If a case was about to go in front of a judge, he’d find out the judge’s weaknesses, document them on camera or telephone recordings and use the information to blackmail the judge into dismissing the case. He did the same thing with police commissioners, prosecutors and legislators. He used to have an ultrasecret safe at his Miami house where he kept a single, encoded thumb drive that contained those files.”
“Interesting.” Ash paused, thinking over the information. “Why shift if things were going so well?”
“Things got tougher in Colombia.” If only I could forget that time of my life. “A new administration cracked down on the illegal drug trade and the guerrillas, hurting Red in the pocket. The DEA and the FBI teamed up with the Colombian government against the drug traffickers. It’s not like he stopped trafficking drugs, but in order to expand, he needed to diversify.”
“So he went into synthetic drugs,” Ash said. “Like Red Rush. I bet you he saw a huge opportunity. Synthetic drugs are both legal and popular, despite the fact that they kill people every day.”
Ash’s understanding of Red’s newest venture impressed me, especially considering that he’d undertaken his entire investigation based on a hunch and a single packet of incense. I glanced up at him. The lines radiating at the corner of eyes intensified his face’s expression. His eyes narrowed on the horizon, but his mind wasn’t taking in the landscape. I could almost hear his brain whirring in his skull, processing and converting the information, but into what, I wasn’t sure.
“So let me see if I get this,” he said, blue eyes beaming with intensity. “He had the contacts, the distribution channels and the money to fund the expansion. Most important, synthetic drugs were flowing into the United States legally, mostly from Asia. But that was a problem. At any time, his merchandise could be intercepted and regulated by customs officials or border patrol. So he asked himself: What if they could be produced locally?”
“He was just beginning to think distribution when I escaped.”
I fought the memories streaming in my mind. I’d paid for Red’s frustrations on the flesh. The war on drugs had translated into a war on me. Who knew that global conflicts could inflict localized bodily damage?
“You okay?” Ash said, massaging my stone-stiff shoulders.
“Hanging in there.”
“We’re making lots of progress here.”
If we were making so much progress, then why was I having so much difficulty drawing air into my lungs and keeping the ghastly memories from crushing me?
“So,” Ash said. “The reason why the Justice Department is so interested in Red is because his ‘products’ are killing more people than all of the other mixes put together, but the authorities can’t stop it from getting into the country because he’s mixing it locally.”
“Exactly.”
“And that’s also why Justice is so interested in you,” Ash said. “It’s why Steiner offered you witness protection. The cartel has closed ranks on cocaine and heroin distribution and they can’t put Red away for selling bath salts, incense and potpourri. However, they could put him away for good, if they could prove that he’s manufacturing synthetic drugs right here in the good old U.S. of A.”
“That’s the whole story in a nutshell.”
“That’s part of the story for sure,” Ash said, toying with my hair. “But perhaps it’s not the whole story.”
I forced myself to focus. Ash needed the information. It was important.
“When did Agent Steiner first contact you?” he asked.
“About five years ago,” I said.
“And how did he manage to break through Red’s surveillance?”
“He was very clever about it,” I said. “When I turned twenty-one, I begged Red to allow me to go to college. It took me months to convince him.” I shuddered when I remembered the kind of things I had to do in order to persuade him. “Eventually, he let me enroll in an online program, even though he policed everything I did and restricted my internet access. I’m not sure how Steiner found out about it, but he contacted me online posing as a teacher’s assistant and provided me with an encryption that allowed me to fool Red’s watchdogs.”
“Your tax dollars at work,” Ash said. “How did Steiner manage to nab you?”
“It wasn’t easy, that’s for sure,” I said. “And it took a long time. Even before I agreed to cooperate with his investigation, I told him I had three conditions.”
His eyebrows came up. “You negotiated with the Justice Department?”
“First, I told them they had to reunite me with my brother,” I said. “Second, they had to provide us with multiple sets of identity documents.”
“So that’s how you got the stash I found in your go bag.” Ash nodded. “What was your third condition?”
“I told Steiner that I wanted my marriage to Red invalidated, annulled, ended. He thought I was being finicky. I thought I was being principled.”
“Principled gets my vote.” Ash planted a kiss on my temple. “Was Steiner able to find Adam?”
“It took months, but eventually, I got a clip from Adam, via Steiner. He’d been sneaked out of the compound in Colombia and brought safely to the United States.”
I’d been elated with the news. I’d gone about with a smile on my face for three days straight, even after Red beat me raw for what he called an “attitude leer.” I kept smiling inside despite the fact that I couldn’t walk for a while.
“I wonder how Steiner managed that rescue.” Ash frowned. “It’s shit-hot stuff. Special ops had to be involved. I’ll have to put my ear to the wind. What happened next?”
“It took another few months to plan my escape,” I said. “Meanwhile, they wanted stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?”
“Information about what Red was doing and where, bank accounts, passwords, names of associates, things of that nature. They were building their case. I became adept at getting what they wanted. Red’s devices were well protected from hackers and digital spies, but, given the right circumstances, they weren’t always protected from me.”
Ash’s eyebrows rose on his forehead. “You got all of that for them?”
“I did.” I’d also gained a lot of confidence, not to mention some very useful skills.
Ash whistled. “Not too shabby. When did you finally get away?”
“About four years ago.”
“How?”
“There was a headliner boxing match at the Tropicana in Las Vegas,” I said, remembering those last fateful days. “I knew Red would force me to go with him, because he liked to show me off to his buddies and he knew how much I hated watching grown men pound each other to oblivion. I passed on the information to Steiner. He neutralized my bodyguards and spirited me away from the women’s lounge. And so, on a hot summer night, I walked out of Red’s life for good, ten years, four months and seventeen days after the night he killed my father.”
“Jesus, Lia.” Ash shook his head. “You’re made of steel. If I were wearing a hat, I’d take it off.”
Relief flooded through me. Someone believed me—Ash believed me—and telling the story gave me a new sense of freedom. Out on the lake, a pair of otters played in the water, chattering, fishing and splashing as if they had no cares in the world. Neil yawned and pressed his head against my hand, encouraging me to keep petting him. Animals were such creatures of the present.
“Let me guess what happened next,” Ash said. “Lots of hurry up and wait, holdups and bureaucratic shit clogging the pipeline.”
“Sounds like you know the Witness Protection Program.”
“I’ve worked for the government long enough,” Ash said. “I know how the shit goes down. Or not.”
“Adam and I were reunited.” I smiled thinking about the few wonderful months we’d spent together. “He was fine. He hadn’t suffered Red’s wrath like I had. They moved us a lot. We did secret depositions, met with lawyers and agents, moved some more. Twice, we had to go before a judge and one time I went before a grand jury. Right after that, that’s when it happened.”
“What happened?”
“Red found us.” My chest ached. “And he killed Adam.”
“Jesus.” Ash wrapped his arms around me like a shield.
“We were playing cards in the kitchen of our safe house.” My voice came out as a forced squeak. “We were in a suburban neighborhood in Dayton, Ohio. Adam and I were paired up against two of the agents assigned to us. Other agents were on duty at the house. Word was the indictment against Red was about to come down and security was tight.”
I paused. My mouth was woolly. My eyes stung with tears. Neil lifted his head from my lap and licked my hand. Steady. Breathe. Press on.
“I looked up from my game,” I said. “Adam—God, Ash, he’d been such a beautiful child. He’d grown up to be a strapping young man, so full of life, a sunny soul for sure.”
Ash held me close. “I bet you he was a lot like you.”
“No, not like me.” I blinked away the tears. “Not broken or bitter or neurotic, but optimistic, hopeful, a good person, so much better than I could ever be.”
How could he be gone? Why him? Why was I alive when he was dead?
“You can cry if you need to, baby,” Ash said.
I shook my head. Keep it together. Tell the story. Get it done. I took a deep breath.
“That day,” I said, despite the pain squeezing my heart, “Adam had just picked a card from the pile when I noticed something small and green flickering on the side of his head. I thought it was a bug or something. I leaned across the table to wipe it off, but the window burst. Adam’s face froze right before his head exploded.”
I closed my eyes. My throat burned with the sting of tears flowing down my face. Hadn’t I cried enough? My mind was stuck on that awful day. My own screams echoed in my ears. Bullets plinked. Glass clinked. The air in the room had grown too warm, tainted with the sweet-and-sour scent of the blood that splattered the walls and drenched the carpets.
Ash shook me softly. “Lia?”
“Adam was gone,” I said flatly. “The agents were gone. I called for help but nobody came. Everyone in the house was dead. Everyone but me.”
“Snipers?” Ash said.
I nodded.
“Ah.”
He now understood why I’d thought he was a hired sniper that day when he shot to scare away the mountain lion.
“I moved fast,” I said, blood pounding in my ears with the same sense of urgency that had seized me back then. “Once I realized everyone around me was dead, I knew that all of my efforts had been for nothing. I’d gotten to know those agents. They were nice people. They had families. And Adam...” I fought the tears. “He was gone for good.”
Ash squeezed my hand.
“I don’t know exactly how I got out,” I said. “A survival switch flipped somewhere inside of me. I remember grabbing the go bag I’d packed with the documents and darting out of the back door. I remember thinking I had seconds to live. I hid in someone’s garage for a few days. Red and Steiner were both looking for me.”
“What did you do next?”
“I didn’t sleep or eat for those first few days.” My belly churned with the memory. “There was a car in the garage, and a man who left in the morning and came back every night. He had no clue I was there. One morning I stole into his backseat and rode along when he went to work. I sneaked out of the parking garage and made my way out of the city. After that, I wandered the country for a few months.”
“Where did you go?”
“Most of the time, I lived on the streets. On good days, I stayed at homeless shelters.”
“That must have been really tough for you,” Ash said.
I shrugged. “It was better than being with Red.”
“Is that where you found out about the Underground Railroad?” Ash asked.
I opened my mouth and closed it several times before I was able to speak. “How on earth could you know about that?”
“I talked to Reverend Martin,” Ash said. “He never admitted that you came to Copperhill via the Underground, but he did admit to being part of a network of people who strive to provide safe passage to victims on the run.”
“Let’s clear up something.” I steeled my voice. “I’m not a victim anymore.”
Ash’s eyes met mine. “Got it.”
“A counselor at a homeless shelter in Chicago hooked me up with the Underground,” I said. “For a year, I traveled from one safe haven to another, never staying more than a few days at a time. Copperhill was supposed to be another stop along the way. The reverend placed me with Wynona. She suggested I should stay. She didn’t know my story, and I told her I couldn’t stay with her because I didn’t want to put her in harm’s way. But you know your grandma. She was as stubborn as you are.”
“Oh yeah.” He smiled wistfully. “Nona was a force of nature.”
“She found me the job and the cottage and insisted I stay, at least for a while. She was so good to me. She gave me the strength I needed when I was tired and discouraged, and very close to giving up. I was so lucky to meet her. Without her, I wouldn’t be around anymore.”
“I’m glad you got to meet her.” Ash kissed my shoulder. “I’m glad you stuck around too.”
I let out a long breath. “Now you know everything. Are we done?”
“Almost, but not quite,” Ash hesitated then pulled out his cell from his pocket and put it in my hands. “Lia, we need confirmation. Is this Red?”
I looked at the grainy picture on the screen. It probably came from a security camera somewhere. Red was obsessive about not having his picture taken. This one dated from a few years back. Steady. Breathe.
The man in the picture was indeed Red, dressed in a smart blazer, blue jeans and the shiny, long-tipped Italian loafers he preferred. He stood next to his yellow Maserati. An unruly lock of hair fell over his forehead, while the rest of his mane curled about his face, giving him the playboy halo effect that made him so attractive to the opposite sex. His full lips stretched in an indolent smile and his heavy-lidded eyes smiled at someone beyond the picture. His hand clawed around a woman’s elbow.
I stared at the woman in the picture. She was but a slip of a person, a walking skeleton really, exactly the superthin type that the ultrarich coveted. Her platinum blond hair was styled short and straight in a pixie cut that had been all the rage. She wore a red minidress that matched her lipstick and showcased her long legs, cut low to display sharp clavicles and the rise of puny breasts deflated by emaciation.
I had no sympathy for that woman. “She looks like a whore.”
“She’s never been that,” Ash said hoarsely, “or anything remotely like it.”
Neil whimpered and put his paw on my leg.
“She hated that dress.” A heavy weight settled on my chest. “But he liked to dress her like that. And he had her hair dyed in that ultrablonde tone. Real American girls were blonde, he liked to say.”
A memory flashed in my mind, a terrible snippet of the woman, slashing at her long bleached hair with a disposable razor and Red, going nuclear and taking his revenge. After she came out of the hospital, Red hired a stylist to fix the mess.
Neil got up and rearranged himself on my lap, settling most of his weight on my legs, thrusting his big head into my hands, rubbing himself against my fingers.
“Lia?” Ash’s arms tightened about me.
“Please don’t touch me.” I shuddered. “Not right now.”
“It’s okay.” He loosened his hold but didn’t let go. “You can give me the cell now.”
My fingers tightened around the phone and my eyes returned to the woman on the screen. Dark smudges underscored her eyes and makeup failed to hide her sickly pallor. My heart hammered my ribs. Cope, cope, cope.
“She wasn’t well,” I mumbled.
“You can see that in the picture,” Ash said.
“She was mourning,” I said. “Red had just killed her baby.”
Ash’s body stiffened against my back. “Her baby?”
“Red was pleased at first when he learned she was pregnant,” I said. “Then he got jealous.”
“Jealous of his own child?”
“He beat her until the baby died inside of her,” I said as if reading from a grocery list. “She almost died. The doctors said the damage was extensive. It was unlikely she could get pregnant again. She wanted to die.”
Neil’s moan sounded like a wail. His caramel eyes were fastened on my face. He pressed his head against my hands and nuzzled my neck. I had a memory of the woman’s attempts at starving herself. Her heart was broken. She didn’t want to eat anymore, kind of like the titi monkey. From then on, she struggled with a severe eating disorder. I remembered Red, yelling at the doctor, and the doctor forcing the feeding tube down the woman’s nose.
“I’m so sorry,” Ash murmured in a strangled voice.
“He marked her.” I fingered the thickened patch at the back of my neck where Red’s brand had once been inked. “He branded her as if she was common cattle.”
Ash massaged the spot that still burned sometimes. “But she freed herself.”
“It was the first thing she did when she went on the lam,” I said. “She worked as a day laborer picking strawberries to make the money to pay for the tattoo’s removal.”
“She’s very brave.”
“She’s not so brave.” I held on to the dog and gnawed on my lips. “Sometimes, that woman in the picture? She dreams of a sleep without nightmares, of a life with no memories. Father. Brother. Baby. How does she go on when everybody’s gone? Sometimes, when she remembers who she was, she doesn’t want to go on anymore.”
“She’s still alive.” Ash hugged me against his chest. “She’s still in the fight.”
“Then why does she feel so worthless?”
He let out a long breath. “It takes work to heal.” The pain of his private struggles permeated his words. “War drains the life out of the soul.”
“She didn’t go to war like you did.”
“She did.” He retrieved the cell from my hand. “She just doesn’t realize it, yet.”
My stare fastened on the horizon. It divided the sky from the lake as surely as the wall I’d constructed to separate my new life from that wretched woman’s life. She seemed to have existed eons ago in another universe. I sank into the gloom, drowning in a pool of misery, until Neil woofed, three resonant barks that slung me out of the darkness. I remembered Agent Steiner, sitting in the cottage. The past had caught up with me and I couldn’t avoid it forever.
Ash spoke quietly. “Do you want to testify against Red?”
“I don’t want to,” I said. “But I need to do it. Steiner is right. The only way I can be free of Red is if he’s behind bars.”
“Is that what you think?”
“Over the years, I witnessed Red committing several murders with my own two eyes, including my father’s. It’s all here.” I tapped on my temple. “I’ve witnessed torture, money laundering schemes and drug smuggling operations. My testimony is the only way to stop him from killing more innocent people.”
“If that’s what you want to do, that’s what we’ll do.” Ash entwined his fingers between mine. “But you have to promise me: you will not run away from me. You will trust me and, no matter what happens, you will fight to stay alive.”
I looked up at him. The plea in his gaze brought more tears to my eyes. I swallowed the sob choking my throat. It was so unreal to be here, having this conversation with someone who cared, someone who was willing to put his life at risk to help me. It was humbling, but inspiring. It was uplifting, but also terrifying.
“I can try,” I said, “but Ash, you have to trust me. This is my fight. You can’t shut me out or go behind my back. I have skills too. I haven’t survived this long for nothing.”
“As long as we’re dealing with Red, we have to be fluid and smart,” Ash said. “We’ve got to be clever. We have to compartmentalize the information, especially when Steiner is around.”
My eyes widened. “Do you think he’s on Red’s payroll?”
“It’s a possibility we have to consider,” Ash said. “We have to commit to doing whatever is necessary to achieve our objectives. Do you understand?”
“I’m not letting you die,” I said. “I’m not letting any of the guys get hurt on my account.”
“None of us signed up to die,” he said. “But you’ve got to be a team player and you’ve got to follow directions, even if they don’t make sense to you.”
“He always wins, Ash. He always gets his way.”
“Not this time.” He scooted me around until I faced him. “This is very important, Lia. What do you have that Ruiz Ramon Rojas wants?”
I almost choked. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” His glacial blue eyes burned through me. “At the safe house. He had all those agents killed. He killed your brother. He didn’t have you killed. Why?”
I hesitated. “Ash, I—”
“The truth,” he said. “That’s our deal.”
I stared at the lakeshore, at the mountains rising above it, at the spectacular scenery they offered together. Neil nuzzled the crook of my arm. I’d buried my secrets so deep, I had trouble admitting to anything. But one look at Ash told me he wouldn’t accept anything but the truth.
“The thumb drive,” I said. “The one Red kept in the secret safe with all the information on his bribes? I stole that from him before we left for Las Vegas. He’ll want it back before he kills me.”