- Chapter Fourteen -

Abell

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The knock on my door was sharp. It reverberated through my apartment.

Who the hell is that?

I was in a black mood. All morning, I'd been calling Nix. For some reason she hadn't responded.

Paranoid after the warning I'd received yesterday, I'd been marching around my apartment, preparing to head into the city and investigate her home.

I wanted nothing more than to look on the face of the woman I'd fallen for. There was an indent on her lower lip that needed me to kiss it.

Ripping open the door, I stared at that perfect indent again.

Only now, it was part of a frown.

“Nix,” I said, leaning into the hall, glancing around. “What are you doing here? Who buzzed you in? I've been trying to reach you all day!”

“One of your neighbors,” she said. Leaning past me, she scanned my place. What was she looking for?

“You buzzed someone else? Why?” Ruffling my hair, I reached for her. “Never mind, come inside and get warm.”

She dodged past me, leaving me holding the ghost of her presence. Nix stood in the middle of the room, as if going further would be dangerous.

I shut the door quietly, moving towards her with wary steps. “Are you okay?”

There. The fury in her eyes made me stand still. “No. I'm not okay at all.”

I reached for her again, and once more, she sidestepped. “Nix! What the fuck is going on?”

“You tell me.” Flipping out her phone, she showed me the screen. It took me a minute to recognize myself.

That's... from last night. Baffled, I took her phone, studying the photo in horror. “What—how do you have this?”

“Someone sent it to my brother, I had him send it to me. Abell, what were you doing last night?”

“Who the fuck would take that picture?”

She was terrifyingly somber. “Answer me about last night.”

Maybe I could have lied. There was a chance she'd listen, accept whatever I said. The frailness in her green glare said, 'I want to believe you.' Nix was willing to listen. She wanted to think the best of me.

But there was no reason to.

The truth would show that.

Handing her the phone, I lifted my head high. “You wanna know what I was doing? Exactly what you suspect.” Her face twitched. “I was getting wasted off my ass, trying to run away from my problems, like I always fucking do. Is that surprising, somehow?”

“Tell me you didn't sleep with her.”

I balked. “With who? Trish?” My brain clicked. “That's why you busted in here, looking around. You thought she'd be here? That I'd actually cheat on you?”

“How could I know what to think after seeing that photo?” she snapped. “Did you sleep with her?”

“Of course I didn't!” Dragging my fingers down my skull, I started to pace side to side. “I'd never do that to you, Nix!” It was funny, arguing my morals like this. Me, Abell Birch, celebrated manwhore... saying that I didn't fuck somebody.

Nix hadn't moved, she just seethed at me, uncertainty cracking her voice. “I want to believe you. It... it feels like the truth.”

“Don't forgive me yet,” I said flatly. “What I did was worse than cheating. I debated abandoning you, saving you from my tainted, destructive life.”

She bit at the air, lips pulling back. I'd never seen her so pissed. “You were actually going to run from me? From this?” She gestured sharply at her belly. It was flat, but I visualized what could be inside of her none the less.

The energy went out of me. This anger was what I'd expected. I deserved to be attacked. Flopping onto the arm of my couch, I let my hands fall over my knees. “Yes. I was going to run.”

“Why?” The tension in her neck made the side of her jugular tick. I wanted to kiss it, make her blood run for another reason, but I didn't dare.

Resting my head on my fist, I said, “To save you.”

“Holy hell, Abell. You freaked me out because you were trying to martyr yourself?” Palming her forehead, she laughed. “You don't need to save me from yourself, I'm a big girl, I can make my own choices.”

All I'd wanted before was to look upon her face. Now, it was hard to glance at her.

“Abell?” She came closer, my floor creaking. “What are you hiding?”

Can I tell her?

Her fingers came down on my shoulder. It reminded me of when I'd grabbed her knee in the mall. “Abell.”

I curled my fingers around hers. “I got a phone call last night. Someone bribed me to exit your life. They said you'd be ruined by me if I didn't walk out on the marriage.”

The color drained from her skin. “You're not serious.”

“I am. I didn't know what to do. How could I put you, and a child, through what my father put me through?.”

“Then... our wedding, are you going to call it off?”

And that was the real question.

This woman, this glorious, funny, amazing woman... did I dare risk leaving her a husk of her former self?

She'd argued with me, tried to make me see that this world was good.

Worth loving.

That I was worth loving.

Was her belief in me enough?

“I've always run,” I whispered. “Since my mother passed, I've tried to escape ever caring a fraction about anyone else. I thought nothing would change that.” Lifting my eyes, I gave her a weak smile. “Then I met you.”

She hit me like a bullet, knocking me back on the couch. Straddling my waist, she glowered down at me. “You aren't—you can't—dammit!” Her hair thrashed side to side. “You're not supposed to make me feel this way!”

My mouth fell open, but I had nothing to say. Wasn't she going to scream at me, or at least punch me once or twice? “Nix...”

“How am I supposed to handle all of this?” she asked. “You make my life far, far too unpredictable, Abell Birch.”

I went to speak, but she shut me up, her lips stealing my words. The kiss was a firecracker, the sparks vanishing too quickly as she leaned away again. “What do we do about the phone call? Do we call the cops?”

Right to business. That's my girl. “I don't know what they could do.” Holding her, I let a lick of my inner rage touch my voice. “But I won't let anyone come between us. Not ever. I'll always protect you, Nix. You... and our baby.”

Snuggling around me, Nix buried her face in the crook of my arm. “I want to tell you something, but looking at you—I don't know if I have the guts.”

I chuckled. “You, of all people, scared of something? What could make you so nervous?”

In my grip, Nix trembled. Whatever was getting to her, it was huge—momentous.

And then I knew.

There was only one thing that could shake the wild fire of this woman.

Hugging her close, I coiled my fingers in her hair, creating a link that would have to be torn apart at the root before either of us could be freed. “Listen to me. I'll never be like my father. I'll never... ever make you cry. Understand?” I brushed her belly, my voice a growl. “I love you, Nix. I love you more than anyone I've ever known. I didn't know a love like this could even exist. But now I do. And I'll never forget.”

Tears welled in her eyes, sliding over her cheeks like rain on spring leaves. I brushed them away; first with my thumb, then my lips.

Grabbing my hand, she sobbed. “Abell—I love you, too. Tell me I'm crazy for feeling this way. Someone has to tell me that.”

“You're crazy,” I said with a slow smile. “So am I. Guess it works out.”

Nix laughed, sniffling through her tears as she scrubbed them. “You said you'd never make me cry. You lied.”

“Tears of joy don't count.”

Blushing, she wrapped my arm around her shoulder, snuggling close. On impulse, I let my palm spread over her tummy. She startled, then settled in. “I don't want to say it, but there's a chance I'm not pregnant. You know that.”

“No. There isn't.”

She went pinker, the color I adored. But her words were terribly pained. “Everything we do is tainted. This baby... the wedding... we're under the control of our families, no matter what.”

Cradling her head to my chest, I breathed in her scent. The couch pressed us together, our legs tangled. “This is the only way to have everything. I won't let you lose the future you dreamed of.”

Nix was quiet. There was something behind her eyes, a mood... or a thought... that was just out of my reach.

Her arms held me, her lungs flared, and her heart kept a pattern that matched mine. Together we lied there, and finally, the silence was broken by her gentle voice.

“Is this the future I dreamed of?”

I didn't have an answer.