Chapter7
Cameron was nowhere to be found in the house that day, though she looked for him and called out to him. She thought that he must be out and busy, and she made her mind up to talk with him when he got home. She hadn’t seen him since he had left her in the pool, and there was no telling where he had gone or how long he had been gone.
She was having lunch in the breakfast nook when she heard the front doorbell, and she knew that the butler was off, as most of the staff had been given paid time off while Wilson and Charisse were away on their honeymoon.
Natalie went to the door and opened it with a smile, until she saw who it was that was standing there before her, and then her smile faltered. Everything faltered. Her heart dropped from her chest straight through the floor below her feet.
It was the redheaded woman from the yacht party. The one who had been kissing Cameron. She beamed and smiled at Natalie and held her hand out to her. “Hi! I’m Kat. I didn’t get a chance to meet you at the party the other day. I guess you were gone when I got there.”
Natalie clenched her jaw subtly and reminded herself that she needed to be civil to their guest. Adam’s words rung through the back of her mind: ‘You are representing the family, do it well.’ She did her best to give Kat a half smile.
“Actually, I left after you got there. I remember seeing you from a distance for a few minutes.” It was all Natalie could do to keep her tone light.
“Oh! Well, that’s nice. At least I’m getting to meet you here.” She hesitated a moment, and when she got no response from Natalie, who was simply watching her and listening to her, Kat continued.
“So, I was wondering if Cameron was home. Is he here? Could I see him please?” she asked with a playful grin.
Natalie’s stomach turned sharply, and she narrowed her eyes slightly. Of course Kat was looking for him. Natalie was suddenly glad that he was nowhere around. She wouldn’t have to deliver him into Kat’s arms as if nothing was going on between her and Cameron.
“I’m sorry, he’s not home. Maybe you could call him.” Natalie moved to close the door, but Kat held her hand up and stopped the door from shutting all the way.
“Oh, wait. I don’t need to call him. It’s okay if he’s not home. I just came to get some of my clothes. They’re in his room.” She beamed at Natalie with flushed cheeks, and Natalie had to stop herself from being sick.
“Your clothes are in his room?” she asked in utter disbelief. That could only mean one thing. He had been having sex with Kat as well, and never said a word to her about it. More casual sex. More come and go. More meaningless connections with more girls. The playboy at his finest.
“Yeah, I just need to go in and get them. He won’t care if I do that. He knows I’m coming to get them. I just hoped that I’d catch him at home.” She shrugged and took a step toward the open doorway, and Natalie had to stand back and let her pass into the house.
Kat breezed past her with a wave of her hand. “Thanks!” She headed straight for Cameron’s suite of rooms down the hallway, and Natalie was disappointed that she knew her way around the house so well.
She closed the front door and walked out to the pool, sitting in a chair there and staring at the space where she and Cameron had had such an electric connection themselves. She realized that she couldn’t fault him for having a string of women who were interested in him; after all, he had been in the house and in the area for a long time. He had school friends there, and he had lived there a long while. It only made sense that he would have a circle of friends, including women, who he had been close to. She had only been there a few weeks. She couldn’t expect him to let go of every relationship he had had and commit to her so rapidly, leaving all of them behind just because she had arrived on the scene.
At least, she couldn’t expect it because they hadn’t talked about it. If they did talk about it and decide to go public with a real relationship, then she was going to insist that they be monogamous. She was, after all, a monogamous relationship kind of woman.
She sat for a while and thought about it all, sad that there was so much confusion and trouble where there should be none at all. She cursed her intense attraction to him and wished that it was something she could sweep away under the rug and never have to think about again.
Natalie sighed and left her chair at the swimming pool, going to the library to do some new photojournalism work. She was sitting at the desk, focused for once on the images and stories before her rather than on Cameron, when Cameron called her name from the foyer, and then a minute later, he walked in through the library door with a magazine in his hand, flushed cheeks, and a big grin on his face.
“Natalie! Oh, I’m so glad that I found you! Natalie, look at this!” He held the golden-edged magazine up for her to see. “I found some of your work in this month’s National Geographic! It’s incredible! You’ve done amazing things. I’m really proud of you!” He went to her as if to embrace her and kiss her, but she turned away from him and gave him a cold shoulder.
“Thanks,” she said quietly and looked back at her computer.
He wasn’t about to give up on her. He went to her desk and pulled her to her feet, turning her to face him. In a moment, his lips were on hers, and he was kissing her soundly. She struggled inside with her emotions for him, doing everything in her power to force herself to keep cool and levelheaded, and not to let her desire for him overpower her. There was much more at stake than just her pride.
“Oh, I’m so proud of you,” he said with a grin as he lifted his mouth from hers and looked into her brown eyes. “You’re doing so well, and it’s incredible. Congratulations.” He meant it in earnest.
She felt a rush of gratitude and happiness that he had expressed that to her, and that he had wanted to share it with her, but she was staunchly going to hold her ground. She planted her hands on his chest and pushed him away.
“I have to work,” she stated flatly. She turned then to sit down, and his face turned to stone.
“Something’s wrong. You’re upset,” he said quietly. “What is it? What’s the matter with you?”
Anger fired up in her, and she faced him again and crossed her arms over her chest. “You know what, something is wrong. Several things are wrong. First of all, why are you always so hot and cold with me?”
He furrowed his brow. “Hot and cold?”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Yes, hot and cold. One minute, you won’t speak to me or look at me, and the next, you can’t keep your hands off of me! Why do you do that with me? It’s awful! It’s confusing, and it’s awful!”
He sighed and dropped his shoulders, looking downward for a moment. Finally, he drew in a deep breath and met her eyes with his, answering her. “Okay. Fine. You do deserve to understand that, I guess.”
Walking over to the mini bar in the library, he poured himself a scotch and then turned back to face her after taking a long pull from it. “When I heard you were coming, I didn’t think anything of it. I was going to have a stepsister. No big deal. Then, I went out to meet you, you came up out of that swimming pool, and everything in me stopped. Everything. I have never felt such an immediate attraction to anyone in my life. I wanted to grab you and kiss you right then and there, and more than kiss you, and it was frustrating to me. It was absolutely maddening. I don’t react like that around women. Women are attracted to me; they chase after me, they fall in love with me at first sight, they swoon over me, but it doesn’t happen the other way. I don’t go falling for anyone I’ve just seen, no… no love at first sight for me, but there you were, looking more beautiful than any woman I had ever seen, and I wanted you more than any woman I have ever wanted. It was a first for me. It was a shock. A big shock. I was angry and confused, and I decided that all I needed to do was distance myself from you. Hence the cold shoulder and the regrettable attitude.”
He took a long drink and finished the scotch in his glass. Then, he looked up at her again as she waited for him and listened to everything that he was saying. “So, I was going to talk myself out of being so attracted to you, but I couldn’t. Every time I saw you, all I wanted to do was be near you. It was a completely new experience for me. When I went to you that first time after I met you, and I came in here to welcome you to the family, you were so breathtaking that I was drawn to you like a moth to a flame. I wanted to kiss you so badly, but I had to force myself not to do it. I had to force myself to only get as close to you as I could without really kissing you the way that I wanted to. When I left, I realized that I felt something for you that was different than anything I’ve ever felt. It was much stronger, and I knew that if I wasn’t careful, you and everyone else in this household was going to see right through me, and I just couldn’t let anyone do that, so I was cold to you. I ignored you. I kept you at arm’s length, except when I couldn’t keep you at arm’s length because I wanted you so much. Then, they pushed you at me, insisting that I take you to the yacht party. I knew they would, and I didn’t mind it at all. I wanted you there. I wanted to see what it would be like without anyone else in the family around, just the two of us; I wanted to get you alone, to see how you might feel about me or if I was on this roller coaster by myself.”
He set the empty glass down and walked toward her, stopping at the side of the desk as she watched him and listened.
“I couldn’t keep away from you. Then, at the wedding, you pushed me away so much that it just made everything I was feeling that much stronger, that much worse. I couldn’t stand the thought that I couldn’t have you. I wanted you and knew that there was something going on inside of you too, that you could feel this powerful chemistry that we have between us. I saw you react to me so many times. I knew you felt something too. That’s what brought me to your room after the wedding. I had to see if you were still feeling what I was, and you were, and it was one of the best nights of my life.” His eyes were steady on hers as he opened up to her.
The anger in her was still tremendously strong. She lifted her chin stubbornly. “Well, thank you for the explanation. It makes sense, and I can see why you were that way, though it was awful on my end to have to go through it, but it certainly doesn’t solve our problems, and it isn’t the only thing wrong by a long shot.”
He frowned sharply. “What else is the matter? Let’s talk about it.”
Natalie clenched her jaw. “Oh, we need to talk about it. You’re a playboy, and I’m not about to be just another one of the girls that you’ve played. I’m not a notch in your bedpost that you can carve in and then move along to the next girl. That’s not who I am at all. Because of that, I don’t want you to touch me again.”
She couldn’t believe that she had said it, but she definitely meant it. She kept her chin up, and she held her ground.
His mouth fell open. “A playboy? Well, okay, maybe I’ve had a few girlfriends here and there, but that doesn’t have anything to do with you! What are you talking about? Are you holding my past against me?” His tone sharpened, and she saw his eyes flash.
“No.” She shook her head. “Right now, I’m holding today against you, and the day that we were at the yacht. The redheaded woman who was kissing you on the yacht, Kat, I think her name is, she came by here today to pick up her clothes from your bedroom. Now, if you want to be a playboy, you go right on ahead and do it. You have as many girls as you want to, but while you’re doing that, you won’t lay a finger on me. I’m not one to share a man I’m with, and that includes any with whom I’m having an intimate relationship. I’m a monogamous relationship kind of woman, and I’m not about to give myself to anyone who is sleeping around with other women. So, we’re finished. Have all the ladies you want.”
She meant it, though she hated saying it. He gaped at her, stunned for a moment. Natalie turned then and closed her laptop, picking it up in her arms. She walked around Cameron and headed for the door as he began to speak.
“Wait a minute; Kat came by to get her clothes and you… you think that…” He trailed off, but she was already gone. She had left the library and gone to her room, closing and locking the door behind her.
She set her laptop down on the dresser in her room and dropped her face into her hands as tears began to spill from her eyes, running down her face. Her heart felt like it had been ripped into pieces. She couldn’t believe that she could care so much for someone who didn’t care enough for her. She couldn’t believe that she had given herself to someone who did not value her intimacy as he should have.
Natalie laid down on her bed and buried her face into the pillows there, sobbing until she cried herself to sleep. There was no knock on the door, and there was no disturbance. When she woke, she showered and dressed and put a little cream on her slightly puffy eyes. She promised herself that she was going to remain strong. She wasn’t going to be with him again while he was sleeping around with other people and not caring about her at all.
In the days that followed, she refused to speak to him or even to be in the same room that he was in, though every time he saw her he tried to be close to her, tried to talk with her, and tried to make some kind of amends with her. It didn’t work, and it didn’t help. She wouldn’t have anything to do with him, so after a while, he gave her the space that she wanted, and he stayed most of the time in his studio, painting.
She was coming out of the library one day, and she heard him and looked through the sitting room to the foyer. He had his car keys in his hand, and he walked out of the house and closed the door behind him. She stood there for a minute thinking about him. She had started spending a lot of time thinking about him, though she knew that she shouldn’t be.
Natalie thought of their time together in her bed and in the pool, and then she thought of the painting that he had done of the woman coming out of the pool, and she wondered again if it was her or not.
Curiosity held fast to her, and she reasoned that since he was gone, she might step into his studio for a moment and get another good look at the painting to see if it was really her coming out of the pool or not.
She went through the house to his suites. The door that led into his hallway was open, though the door to the studio was closed. She bit at her lower lip and turned the handle on the door, pushing it open. It gave way easily, and a moment later, she stepped inside the big room.
It looked much as it had the last time that she had been in it, save for the fact that there were more paintings of a black woman, a young black woman who looked remarkably, and even undeniably, like her. It wasn’t even just more paintings; it was at least a dozen more.
Her eyes widened, and her mouth fell open as she gazed around the room at all of them. Some were full-figured: the woman walking in a flowing dress, the woman sleeping, her sitting at a desk thinking, her body in full. There were close-up paintings: her laughing, her sleeping, her body in exquisite detail.
It was a beautiful woman, and each of the paintings, while different, showed different sides of her, but it was plain to see that all of them were the same woman, and all of them looked exactly like her.
Her breath caught in her chest, and her hand flew to her mouth. She went to each one, looking closely at them and losing herself in them. They were incredible works of art, beautifully done, and she was astounded and flattered and stunned.
For the first time, she saw herself through his eyes, the way that he saw her, and it was not only eye-opening, but it was heart-opening as well. She could never have guessed that he saw so much in her and yet never said anything about it.
There was a quiet noise, and she turned around quickly in place to see Cameron standing in the doorway. He had stopped short where he was and was staring at her, his cell phone in one hand as if he had just gotten off of a phone call and was putting it away, but froze in the process.
His face was serious, and his eyes were unreadable. He walked toward her slowly, watching her the entire time, and she spoke softly to him.
“Is this me? It looks like me.” She swallowed hard. “Is this how you see me?” she asked, knowing the answer already but needing to hear it from him.
Cameron didn’t stop until he was directly in front of her. He reached his hand up and let his finger trail down her cheek. “It is you, and this is how I see you. Each one in different lights, different shades of life. It’s all you. Beautiful. Distant. Haunting.”
Her heart flipped over in her chest, and he leaned closer to her and kissed her lips tenderly and sweetly. She closed her eyes and let him, feeling overwhelmed at the beauty around her, at the open-heartedness of it all, and at his honesty with her.
Sparks flew as his sweet kiss began to deepen, and he parted her lips with hers and tasted her tongue, twisting his around it as his arms closed around her body, and he pulled her closer to him. She kissed him back, but then pulled away slightly as the warning bells in the back of her mind and her own sense of self-preservation worked to stop her.
“I shouldn’t…” she said just above a whisper, feeling dizzy and warm in his embrace.
He gazed into her eyes and spoke in a low voice. “I’ve tasted you and you’re like no other woman I’ve known. You’re like a drug to me; I can’t stop thinking about you, can’t stay away from you. Please, give this to me. Share this with me; it’s so incredible.”
Cameron closed the sliver of distance between them as she gasped, kissing her again, deeply and hungrily. She barely felt his hands moving so lightly over her clothes that she was surprised when she realized that they had fallen to the floor, and his met hers there a moment later.
He drew her to the sofa, pulling her down on top of him so that she was straddling him, and he held her to him tightly as he entered her slowly, savoring every moment of it. She closed her eyes and lost her breath, aching to feel him there, loving the pleasure he gave her and ignoring the silent arguments in the back of her mind that kept telling her that she shouldn’t be there with him, moving her body with his, loving him the way that she was, but his hands were firm on her, his fingers pressed into her, and his mouth canvassed her from her lips to her breasts, drinking her in as they moved together, heady with the intense passion that burned so hotly between them.
She rode him a long while, and she could tell that he was making it last as long as he could. She wondered for the briefest of moments if he was stretching the time with her out and making it last because he knew that she might keep her distance from him again. He held her tight to him, almost as if he was loving her as intensely as he could, holding on so that he didn’t have to let go.
Their bodies beaded with sweat and trembled with ecstasy until at last they both arced and cried out as their orgasms rocked through them. She felt the heat and tension in her begin to drift away, and it was as if her senses, her common sense, had been waiting right on the precipice of her pleasure.
Her mind chastised her. She knew that she shouldn’t have done it. She had no business being there with him, not knowing if he was with anyone else, not knowing if it even meant anything more to him to be with her than just the simple act of having sex. Anger flashed through her, and she pushed herself up off of him. She knew that she never should have done it, but she had been weak; she had given in to lust and pleasure and romance. She had given in to heady desire and breathless need, and it had wound her right back up in the same place that she had been trying to get out of.
She went straight for her clothes and began to pull them back on swiftly, but he rose from the sofa and came after her.
“What are you doing? Please don’t go! Please stay here with me. I want you to stay here with me,” he pleaded, reaching for her arm. When his hand closed around it, she jerked it back from him, and he blinked at her in surprise.
“No. I’m not going to stay. I never should have come in here in the first place, and I never should have slept with you again. This was a mistake,” she replied, and he stared at her, crestfallen, as she hurried from his studio and left him there alone.
Natalie went back to her own room and immediately took a long hot shower just so that she could think. She needed to think. She needed to remember all the reasons why she wasn’t going to let him touch her again, why she wasn’t going to be intimate with him again. He was a playboy. She knew that he had other girlfriends, Kat included, and she didn’t want to be a part of that, no matter how obsessed he was with her.
She had to find a solution. Living there with him in the Brookes’ mansion was like being two animals trapped in a cage. She could only avoid him for so long before she would run into him again. She could only stay away from him until he came on to her too strongly for her to resist.
How many more times would he be too close to her, too hungry for her, and be able to kiss her into submission, taking her anywhere he wanted her: in her bed, in the swimming pool, in his studio, and who knows how many other places around the house.
Natalie finally realized that the only way that she was going to be able to get over him was if she didn’t live with her mother and Wilson. The only way that she was going to be able to free herself from her ties to Cameron would be if she left and moved out of the house. She would have to get her own place, and then she would have peace. Then, she would not have an obsessed playboy hungering after her while he held onto all of his other girlfriends. She couldn’t put up with him and his wide-open ways.
If she was going to be intimate with any man, she was going to have to mean everything to him, and she knew that Cameron wasn’t that man. With tears in her eyes, she knew that the only choice was to leave. She didn’t want to leave, but there was no other choice. For her own sanity and self-preservation, there was only one possibility. She had to leave and get her own place. Only then would she be truly free of Cameron Brookes.