Chapter Twenty-Two
Brooks sat in his armchair and leaned his head back, trying to process everything. He’d heard every word. The wine room had a door, but the walls cordoning off the room didn’t reach all the way to the ceiling. Sound had no problem carrying. Brooks had never really paid attention to it before. He wished he had or he’d have excused himself and gone outside. Where he couldn’t hear Marcus the Hero marching in to save the day, offering his undying support. Money, insurance, nannies, anything she needed.
It was only right for him to do so and Brooks should be glad he was a stand-up guy. Instead, all he could think of was how badly he’d love to plant his fist in Marcus’s face. The more rational part knew that was petty, and unfair. But he didn’t really care. The man had walked in and taken everything from Brooks. But that wasn’t fair, either. You couldn’t take something you never had to start with. And like it or not, that was Marcus’s daughter in there.
Not his.
How the hell was he supposed to live with Marcus throwing that in his face for the rest of their lives? How was he supposed to deal with Marcus period for the rest of their lives? The best part of Marcus stealing their app idea was that he’d disappeared. He’d screwed Brooks and Cole over, but then he’d left. They hadn’t had to deal with the weasel anymore. And now he’d have to deal with Marcus…forever.
The really shit part was that Marcus wasn’t a total dickwad. At least when it came to Leah and the baby, which was a good thing. Marcus seemed like he knew what he was doing. Hell, having insurance had never even occurred to Brooks. If he got sick, he just called a doctor friend he knew and got it taken care of. But babies had to go to doctors for all kinds of things. Shots and stuff. And checkups. He knew nothing about babies. She’d been in his house not even a week and Brooks was sure she was already scarred for life. He didn’t want that kind of responsibility. Everything would change. He’d need a new place, for sure, and he didn’t want one. He liked his apartment. He liked his life.
Leah…
Brooks shut that down immediately. Dwelling on her and whatever idiotic fantasies he might have briefly entertained did no one any good. He was an irresponsible asshole and always would be. She and the baby were both better off with a guy like Marcus, no matter how irritating the guy was. Hell, he’d probably treat them both like queens every day of their lives just to prove to everyone he was a better guy than Brooks.
Brooks, on the other hand, might make everyone laugh for a few minutes, but no one went to him with serious problems. He wasn’t the guy you turned to when shit hit the fan. He was the guy throwing the shit at the blades in the first place. He had no business around a new mother and an innocent baby.
It probably would have been better for them all if he’d kept driving when he’d left the hospital that night. But there was no way he could have just left her there. So he’d gone back. And brought them home. Because there was really nothing else he could do at that moment. And maybe he wanted to steal a few final days with her. With them. But he knew it couldn’t last.
It’s what they’d planned to do from the start anyway. Things may have gotten a little muddled over the last few months, but neither of them had ever intended to stay together. And now with Marcus in the picture, it would be better for everyone if Brooks bowed out gracefully. And it should be easy. Bowing out was what he did.
He took a minute to compose himself. No one had ever seen through him the way Leah did. He didn’t want her reading anything that wasn’t there. Or shouldn’t be there. Wouldn’t be there once he got his life back.
Finally, he took a deep breath and opened the door.
Leah glanced up. When she saw him, her eyes lit up and for a second he savored that sweet addicting warmth that always flowed through him when they were together. She finished laying the baby in her bassinet and then sat back on the couch, one leg tucked under the other.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey.” She took a deep breath. “Do you think you and Marcus will ever get along?”
Brooks straightened, stung that the first words out of her mouth would be about the other man. “Yeah, that’s what we need to talk about. I don’t think that’s ever going to happen.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Why? What happened with you guys before…that’s all in the past, isn’t it? Marcus is a good guy.”
Brooks swallowed hard. “Yes, he is. When he’s not around me. We don’t bring out the best in each other.”
She snorted. “I’ve noticed.”
He rubbed his hand over his face. “Look, I know this whole thing is one big complicated mess. But Marcus is here and seems to be planning on staying and he is the baby’s father.” Saying those words was like spitting out acid, but it didn’t change the truth of them. “Seems to me like we’ve got one extra person in the mix here. I think you’ve got your job at the school pretty secure now. They love you, and we’d always said that I traveled a lot so I don’t think they’ll notice if I’m not there. And with Marcus and I having issues that don’t seem like they are going to be resolved anytime soon…”
Her eyes looked a bit brighter but if she was on the verge of tears, she thankfully held it together. “So what?” she asked. “Now that he’s here you’re going to bail?”
“Bail on what, Leah? Our fake marriage that wasn’t supposed to last more than a few months? Isn’t it time we both got back to our real lives? I know staying with me wasn’t something you were planning on. Do you want to be tied to some irresponsible idiot for the rest of your life because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut around your boss?”
“You’re not an irresponsible idiot, Brooks. I mean, yes, you have your moments, like this one. But there is more to you than that.”
“Not really.”
“Oh, come on, Brooks. At least give me the real reason you’re doing this.”
“That is the real reason. I care about you, Leah. A lot. And I care about the baby. And you deserve a hell of a lot better than what I can give you. And I’m sorry, but there’s no way I can deal with Marcus being in my face trying to get under my skin day in and day out. He’ll drive me insane. We’re already barely speaking and the baby is only a week old. What kind of environment is that to raise a kid in?”
“Can’t you just let bygones be bygones and move on?”
“It’s not that easy, Leah. It’s kind of hard to let bygones be bygones when the same shit keeps happening. I didn’t plan on anything ever happening between us, and I’m sorry if that makes all this harder. But I really am trying to do what’s best for everyone. I can’t give you what you need.”
“You don’t know what I need. You’ve never even asked me.”
“You’ve never asked me, either.”
She looked like she was going to argue that point, but then dropped her gaze. The fact that he was hurting her tore him apart. But it was for the best. She’d see that eventually.
“I’m no good in relationships. The fact that I’ve never been in one long term should have been a good clue.”
“That’s just an excuse.”
He shook his head. “You don’t have to believe me. But I am doing what’s best for everyone. You deserve better than me. And so does she,” he said, nodding at the baby. “And I deserve a life where I don’t have to constantly deal with someone who tries his hardest to undermine everything I do. Can you imagine me being the stepfather to his child? How is that ever going to work?”
She folded her arms and looked down at her feet. “It won’t.”
He paused for a few seconds, trying to force out the rest of it, reminding himself that this was what was best for her. Best for the baby. Best for him. Hell, even best for Marcus. They’d all be happier if he was out of the picture.
“I have to leave for a few weeks,” he said.
“What?”
Her eyes grew wide with what looked like unshed tears. The sudden urge to drop to his knees and beg her to choose him washed over him and he choked it back. That wasn’t in anyone’s best interest. Marcus was an ass to Brooks, but in general, he was a stand-up guy, as much as Brooks hated to admit it. And he was the baby’s real father. He was someone they could both depend on. Not a screwup goofball that people only kept around for laughs.
“There’s a conference in Vienna. Cole doesn’t want to travel yet with Piper being so small. One of us needs to go. I had planned on going anyway. Our…your baby wasn’t supposed to be here for a few more weeks so I thought I had time. And…Marcus will be here if you need anything.”
“I don’t need anything. We’ll do just fine on our own,” she said, her voice hard as steel.
He kept going, not meeting her eyes. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone. You can stay in the apartment for as long as you want. I have an account set up for you at the bank. All the information for it is in the top drawer of my desk. I’ve made sure you’ll be comfortable.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want anything from you.”
He clasped his hands behind his back, one hand grasping the other wrist so hard his fingers went numb. “Be that as it may, the money is there for you both if you need it. Don’t be stubborn about it.”
She just raised her chin in the air. “Is that all?”
He stared at her for a moment, his resolve wavering. All it would take from her was one word. If she asked him to stay…said to hell with Marcus, she wanted him…maybe they could work it out…
But she said nothing. So he nodded.
“Then go,” she said, her voice barely audible.
He took a step back, but stopped, unable to make himself leave. “Leah…”
“Go!” she yelled, startling him and the baby who began to wail.
He didn’t wait for her to tell him again. He’d made his choice. He turned on his heel and walked away from his only chance at happiness.