CHAPTER 24
Rosa could deal with most things, but vomit wasn’t one of them. As Titch threw up the contents of the Ship Inn’s bar, the best she could do was take in a pint of fresh water and a towel. She recalled how Josh would always hold her hair away from her face and rub her back when she had been sick before, but there was no way she could get within ten feet of Titch. At least her elfin crop was a saving grace.
She turned the heating back on and checked to see what Hot was up to. He had crashed out on the bed, where she’d put him, and was whiffling softly in his sleep, worn out after his play-date. She dug out the spare duvet and pillow that Josh had brought and put them on the old sofa. If Titch was sick again in the night, it probably wouldn’t even show.
Titch appeared looking very white and a little sheepish.
‘That’s better,’ she said weakly.
‘Good.’ Rosa handed her more water ‘Here. Now drink this and wrap that duvet around you.’
‘I’m sorry, Rose.’
‘Rosa.’
‘I don’t know why, but I can’t stop calling you Rose. It’s stuck in my head.’
Rosa laughed. ‘It’s fine. I’ve been called a lot worse, I can assure you. And don’t say sorry - we’ve all been there.’
‘But I hardly know you.’
‘I’ve just seen the inside of your stomach, so we’re doing OK.’
Titch smiled with trembling lips and took a gulp of water. She then started to talk.
‘I’m probably not as old as you think I am.’
‘OK.’ Rosa had learnt that sometimes it was best to stay silent and let somebody talk rather than butt in. As it happened, she was quite keen to find out more about Titch, since she secretly saw a lot of herself in the girl.
‘I’m eighteen, which makes the whole thing a lot, lot worse.’
‘Makes what worse?’
‘I’m bloody pregnant.’ Titch closed her eyes. ‘And now I’ve told you. So that’s two people apart from me who know.’
‘And that’s how it will stay, unless you tell me otherwise.’
‘Do you mean that, Rosa?’
‘Look, Titch, I’ve had a lot of shit happen to me too. I see no point in bloody gossip. I’ve got better things to do with my life.’
Titch began to cry again. Rosa brought her some soft loo paper and sat back down next to her, as the young girl blew her nose noisily.
‘Promise me, Rosa, you won’t say a word?’
‘Look, Titch, either trust me or fuck off - and I mean that.’
‘OK, I’m going.’ Titch shakily stood up, then promptly sat down again. ‘I don’t even know who the father is.’
‘Shit.’
‘It could be one of two blokes I slept with on the same night.’
‘And do you know them?’
‘Of course I bloody know them,’ she reared up. ‘I’m not that much of a slut.’
‘Do I know them?’
Titch laid her head back on the sofa. ‘I don’t want to say.’
‘OK, OK, but bloody hell, Titch. Who is the other person you have told already?’
‘Just my mum. She went crazy, has chucked me out - said I was a complete disgrace and that she didn’t want me anywhere near her. That I’d ruined my life and she didn’t think that she could bear the gossip that would ensue. So, I just left the house, went to the pub and got drunk, and the rest is history.’
‘Titch, you really should be on the Pill.’
‘Hark at Mother Teresa here. I am on the ruddy Pill.’
‘Well, have you done more than one test, then? Maybe you’re wrong. The Pill rarely fails.’
‘Hmm. I sometimes forget to take it.’
‘Oh, Titch.’
‘I know. Tell me about it.’
‘You have options, and the fact you just got so drunk makes me wonder: do you
really want this baby?’
‘That’s harsh, Rosa.’
‘That’s reality, Titch. My mum was a drinker who couldn’t cope, so I was
brought up in care. It wasn’t much fun, I can tell you.’
‘Bloody hell.’
‘Would your dad be easier to talk to?’
‘He’s dead. It’s just Mum and me.’
‘OK. I can see why she had that reaction then.’
‘Can you really, Rosa? I don’t think so. You see, Ronnie - that was my younger
brother - he died too. Fell off a cliff. Mum’s convinced it was an accident – that he slid off
his bike. I know different. You see, I found the suicide note he wrote and hid it from her.’ Titch’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I couldn’t keep it to myself. Stupidly, I showed Dad - and the next day he was found hanging in the garage. Now, the only child Mum has left is not only responsible for her father’s death, but she’s also pregnant with a bastard child.’
‘Fuck me. You’ve trumped my sorry tale.’ Rosa managed a weak smile. ‘You poor cow - and as for your mum, that’s terrible. But you can’t blame yourself for your dad taking his own life. How could you have kept that all to yourself? You can only have been a kid.’
‘He would still be here now if I’d kept my mouth shut.’ Titch gave a howl of grief.
‘You don’t know that.’ Rosa put her hand uncomfortably on Titch’s heaving back.
‘You have to get on though, don’t you?’ Titch choked. ‘You get one shot at this thing called life. And at least Mum can die still believing that her son died of an accident and doesn’t hold the guilt of him committing suicide and thinking she could have helped him.’
‘But you’ve had to hold all of that big secret – and that’s hard, Titch.’
‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and all that.’ The girl blew her nose.
‘I hear you, but it’s still shit. The pair of us need to stop putting on brave faces, I reckon.’
The youngster rubbed her eyes and yawned. ‘I don’t want to talk about it any more. Are you sure you’re OK for me to stay here?’
‘Of course. And maybe go and see Sheila tomorrow, apologise and say it won’t happen again.’
‘No, she can piss off, the miserable old cow.’
Rosa sighed. ‘Look, things never seem as bad in the morning. Let’s have another chat then. And Titch?’
Titch nodded as Rosa got up and turned out the light. ‘I will help you as much as I can.’