CHAPTER 61
Rosa knew people were staring at her tear-ravaged face when she got on the train at Exeter, but she didn’t care. She sneaked into a first-class compartment and placed Hot on the seat next to her in his basket.
Hours passed; she did not notice. Approaching London, the guy in the seat opposite gently nudged her arm. ‘We’re at Paddington, love.’
Rosa came to her senses with a jump, hurrying with Hot to the outside of the station as she could tell he was dying for a pee. She stared around her and took several deep breaths of the dirty London air, feeling overwhelmed by the noise and traffic after her months in Cockleberry Bay.
As soon as she had received confirmation that Mary Cobb was her mother, and had learned the circumstances of her conception, birth and early upbringing, Rosa just couldn’t cope with the tidal wave of feelings. She needed to get away, to try to absorb this revelation, and most urgently of all, she needed to share the news with the most important person in her life. Josh.
It was so bittersweet; her own birth mother was alive and well and she had become friends with her! It seemed so surreal. And how had Mary and Queenie traced her? There were still questions to be asked, but maybe now she knew enough. And even though part of the story was hard to bear, when Rosa thought of her lonely, motherless childhood, eventually, when the time was right, her mother and great-grandmother had come to find her, to put things right, the way they saw it.
It all made sense now, the reason why they hadn’t wanted her to sell the Corner Shop; it was a massive part of everyone’s life and they saw her inheriting it as mending some of the wrongs of the past. If Queenie hadn’t died, Rosa knew that Mary would have been forbidden to tell her the truth. But life doesn’t work like that, it’s all written. Rosa had to know who her mum was, she deserved that ultimate peace, so she could now carry on and live a happy and fulfilled life.
Ethel Beanacre’s head bobbed up from nowhere as Rosa knocked on Josh’s door.
‘Here, duck, where have you been all this long time, eh? And what are you doing here now?’ Hot started barking as their nosy ex-neighbour lowered her voice and carried on, ‘Your bloke has got hisself a fancy piece.’ The old lady screwed up her face. ‘Blonde tart, shrieks worse than you ever did when she’s drunk.’
‘Is that so? Oh well, I’ll just have to take my chances,’ Rosa replied politely, thinking, who needs the BBC when we’ve got you, eh, Ethel? She had lifted her hand to knock again, when Lucy opened the door. She immediately went to shut it in Rosa’s face.
‘What the fuck? Josh!’ Rosa shouted.
On hearing her voice, Josh came running to the door. Rosa threw herself into his arms, sobbing. Hot still on his lead, jumped up at both of them.
‘Mary . . . Mary,’ she wept, and couldn’t say any more.
Josh led her inside, away from Ethel’s inquisitive gaze. ‘It’s OK, Rosa, I’m here now. What’s happened?’
Just feeling the warmth of Josh’s hug and hearing his soothing voice made her feel safe and cared for.
‘M-m-m-Mary is my m-m-mum.’
‘Oh Rosa.’ He squeezed her tighter.
‘Ned was her grandad, Queenie’s lover. He left her the shop to leave to me. Ned was my great-grandad, Josh.’
‘Look, come through and sit down,’ Josh said tenderly. ‘Lucy, put the kettle on.’
‘Yes, Lucy put the kettle on,’ Rosa spat. She turned to Josh. ‘What’s all this about you not wanting to come and see me again down in Devon?’
Josh frowned. ‘I don’t know what you are talking about.’
‘I haven’t been able to call you either. I’ve tried loads of times and it goes straight to voicemail. I’ve texted you too.’
‘Here.’ Lucy went to grab his phone.
‘No.’ Rosa was swifter. She picked it up. ‘Let me.’ She looked at it for a moment and then said: ‘So you blocked my number on Josh’s phone, did you?’
Josh looked at Lucy in disbelief. ‘Did you?’
‘I thought it was women who were supposed to want a bit of rough?’ Lucy said spitefully and flounced towards the door.
‘What did you say?’ Josh stood up.
‘Well, she’s not exactly smooth around the edges, is she? And with no parents or family to mention either, what sort of moral code will she have?’
Rosa stood up. ‘I’ll have you know, my mother is worth ten of you - and do you know what? Maybe I haven’t got long blonde hair, false nails, false eyelashes, bits of filler in my lips OR false tits. But what I have got is a heart. And when you strip all of that other shit down, isn’t that what we are made of really? Everybody’s heart looks the same, Lucy, it’s just some are colder than others.’
Lucy stood open-mouthed.
‘And how’s the pregnancy going?’ Rosa demanded.
‘Er . . . I think I’d better . . .’
‘There is no pregnancy, is there?’ Rosa challenged her.
‘Lucy?’ Pale-faced, Josh went over to her and stared right into her eyes.
‘I didn’t want to lose you . . . to her.’ Lucy could hardly speak for anger.
‘So, you told me a blatant lie? About something that major?’ Josh was outraged. ‘I’ve been worried sick about this. About what we should do, moving forward - and it’s all been a complete and utter sham. Get out, you horrible person. Collect your things another time, but for now, just leave my house and get out of my sight.’
Her face ugly with rage and chagrin, Lucy grabbed her coat and handbag and without looking at either of them, went out and slammed the door behind her as hard as she possibly could.
Josh was visibly shaking. ‘If she was a bloke, I kid you not, I would have decked her.’ He looked at Rosa. ‘How did you know she wasn’t pregnant?’
‘I didn’t for sure, but you can’t kid a kidder. And after what she did, having the cheek to phone me to say you didn’t want to see me again, well, I knew she was up to something.’
Hot nuzzled into Josh’s legs.
‘Aw, look, he’s missed you.’
Josh reached down to pick the dachshund up and rub his face in his smooth coat, then put his other arm around Rosa.
‘And God, I’ve missed you - so much. I didn’t realise she’d blocked your number. I just thought you were busy, and I’ve been so wrapped up in working out what to do for the best with her . . .’ Josh hung his head and Hot licked his nose. Not knowing whether to laugh or cry, Josh managed to say, ‘I’m sorry, Rosa. So very sorry.’
‘You’re forgiven - this once.’
A moment passed, then: ‘Josh?’
‘Rosalar?’ Josh put Hot down on the floor, then turned to Rosa and took both her hands in his.
She moved slightly away from him, but kept hold of his hands. ‘I’m not good at this relationship lark,’ she told him, ‘but I do know one thing.’
‘Which is?’
‘My world is a brighter place when you are in it. You make me laugh, you see things in me that other people don’t. You believe in me. You bring me furniture when I need it - and the TV’s great, thanks. You are just bloody brilliant and if I knew what this love thing was supposed to feel like, well then, I think… I think Joshua Smith, that I love you. Whatever that means.’
Josh let go of her, walked across the room and with his back to her, ran his hands through his hair.
‘I get it, if you don’t feel the same way.’ Rosa was on a roll now. ‘But I had to say it. I can’t bear to see you with another woman. I know one hundred per cent, that I want to be with you.’
Josh, with eyes brimming, turned around. ‘Not many people can drive this six-foot-two rugger bugger to tears, Rosa Larkin. Now, come here, you.’
He pulled her towards him, bent down and gave her the most toe-curling kiss she had ever experienced in her life.
When they eventually broke free, breathless, Josh kissed the tip of Rosa’s nose.
Then, trying not to be distracted by the sight and clattering sounds of Hot, who was stretched up on his short back legs and rummaging beneath the kitchen-bin lid to try and get at a slice of last night’s pizza, Josh just managed to say: ‘And for the record - and whatever it means, I think I love you too,’ before they both burst out laughing.