Patrick smiled as Tash snuggled her bum even closer against his hips. He was hard again, but he’d been that way most of the night. He splayed his fingers over the soft form of her stomach, savouring the round lusciousness of it, and breathed in the scent of her hair.
His heart felt huge with her, like she’d poured herself inside his ribs and now sat curled up and smiling behind them. Nights didn’t come much more memorable. Tash made love the way she kissed and cooked—generously and with passion. He couldn’t get enough of her, of the way she made him feel with her sweet giggles and gasps. The way she gazed at him like he was some sort of superhero.
His confidence had been shot since Maddy’s accident, pounded by guilt and grief and shame at his weakness, but in one night Tash had brought it all back and made him feel like a proper man again. If he hadn’t already loved her for a million other reasons, he would have loved her for that alone.
Dawn was breaking past the curtains. Soon it’d be daylight and he’d have to leave. He should leave now but couldn’t bring himself to slip away from her warm body.
Patrick nuzzled her hair, his fingers creeping to the lower slopes of her breasts. Christ, she had great breasts. His brain had gone completely blank the moment he’d peeled off her shirt and then her bra, and he’d faced the utter gloriousness of them for the first time. His palm brushed her nipple and he smiled when it puckered and pebbled against his skin.
Sometime during the night when hunger had overtaken passion and sleep as a priority, Tash had cooked another plate of tortelli wearing nothing but a cloth apron, while he’d watched with a hard-on stretching his trunks. They’d shared the bowl of pasta, which had led to Patrick dripping buttery sauce over her nipples and licking it off until she’d squirmed with need. He’d kept sucking, bringing her off with his fingers, elated and smug at how easy it was. How much she wanted and responded to him. Tash had paid him back with warm chocolate sauce, finger-painted onto places it was never meant to go and licked off with a teasing leisure that had made Patrick’s eyes roll into the back of his head.
She shifted and sighed.
Patrick nuzzled her ear. ‘Morning, gorgeous.’
‘Mmm,’ she said, wriggling her bum. ‘This is nice to wake up to.’
He closed his eyes and smiled. A girl who didn’t mind a bit of morning glory. Tash couldn’t get any more perfect. ‘I could make it nicer.’
‘Could you now?’
‘Yeah,’ he whispered and proceeded to do so.
By the time they’d finished, the dawn glow had reached the bed. Tash was curled under his arm with her ear pressed against his heart, one leg draped across his thigh. ‘Morning’s nearly here,’ she said and looked up. ‘I don’t want this to end.’
‘It won’t.’
She smiled and tickled his chest hair. ‘You can’t stop in bed all day.’
‘I could take the day off.’ His dad would probably have his guts if he did but it’d be worth it.
‘That’d be lovely, but I have work to do and …’ She tapped out the words with a pointed finger. ‘So. Do. You.’
Patrick caressed his knuckles up and down her spine. ‘Tonight?’
She rolled onto his chest and wriggled up to kiss him, and rested on her folded arms. ‘You have footy on Saturday. Isn’t there some rule about sex before a game?’
‘Not that I’m aware of.’
She bit her lip and looked at him from under her lashes. ‘I wouldn’t want to wear you out.’
‘Is that a promise?’
Which only made Tash giggle and kiss him.
Patrick folded his arms around her, holding her as close and tight as he dared but it still didn’t seem close enough. The words ‘I love you’ tipped his tongue and were lost when she pulled back and tapped his nose lightly.
‘Come on, big boy. Shower and breakfast time.’
The shower took longer than it should have but Patrick didn’t mind, and neither did Tash. Breakfast was hastily scrambled eggs and dirty talk about the more interesting places they could be eaten off than plates. Even when he was forking up food Patrick couldn’t stop touching her, half afraid she might disappear. It was pathetic and needy, but that didn’t stop him doing it.
After helping her tidy up, Patrick walked reluctantly to his ute with his arm over Tash’s shoulder and her body tucked tight against him. He leaned against the door and drew her between his legs, kissing and nuzzling, and whispering plans for the evening and what he was going to do to her.
‘Your dad must be wondering where you are.’
‘Probably,’ said Patrick, not caring. He looked past her and lifted a hand to wave.
Tash twisted to see who he’d spotted, then quickly pressed her face against his chest. ‘God, is there anything worse than your parents knowing you’ve had sex?’
‘Yeah. Getting caught in the act. Mum caught Maddy and me once.’
The change was so fleeting, if he hadn’t been holding her so close, Patrick might have missed her stiffening. He couldn’t blame her. If she’d mentioned anything about Thom or Mitch or any other bloke in the same moment, he’d have been pissed off too. He hadn’t meant to say Maddy’s name but it just came out and now he felt like shit. He closed his eyes and kissed her damp hair, making a silent promise to keep his big mouth shut in the future.
To his relief Tash appeared to let it slide.
‘Please don’t ever let that happen to us,’ she said with a groan. ‘I’d die.’
Patrick kissed her again. ‘I won’t.’ He smiled as he spotted Baz’s ute rumbling down Castlereagh Road. Everyone’s timing this morning had been so perfect he could have sworn it had been staged. ‘Your Pa’s just pulled in.’
She groaned again and lifted her head from his chest to look at him. ‘Do you mind?’
‘That we spent the night together?’
‘I meant everyone knowing.’
Did he mind? Was she kidding? Patrick wanted to yell it to the universe. ‘No. Do you?’
‘Yes. No. I don’t know.’ She looked away and Patrick’s mood buckled under her uncertainty.
‘What?’
‘Nothing.’ She shook her head and raised on tiptoe to kiss him. ‘Just me being silly.’
Patrick turned her light kiss deeper. A car horn honked. Tash tried to ease away but fear had him holding on. She acted like she felt the same as him, so how could she mind about anyone knowing?
A car door slammed, footsteps headed their way.
She squirmed against his hold. ‘Please, Patrick.’
He let her go and glowered at Baz but it seemed nothing was going to break the old man’s good mood.
‘Tash, Patrick.’ He grinned. ‘Bout bloody time too.’
‘Pa …’
Baz lifted his hands. ‘What? Can’t a man be happy his granddaughter’s found herself a decent fella at last?’
Patrick supposed that was something. He studied Tash’s face. It was pink with embarrassment and, he hoped, the intensity of his kiss, but he had no idea what she was thinking. He reached for her hand and squeezed. She glanced at him and smiled, squeezing his fingers in return before letting go and holding one arm across herself as she traced an arc in the dirt with her toe.
‘I won’t be long,’ she said, ‘if you want to get started.’
Patrick looked pointedly at Baz, who finally got the message.
‘No, no. Take your time. Might go up to the house for a cuppa.’ And with that he strode off grinning, no doubt eager to discuss this development with Peter and Liz.
‘You okay?’ Patrick asked Tash.
‘Yes.’
‘You’re not acting it.’
‘Sorry.’ She stared at him with both palms cupped around her face. ‘I feel about fifteen.’
‘I’m not embarrassed.’
‘You’re a man. Men never get embarrassed about this stuff.’
‘Yeah, we do.’
‘It’s not the same though. Sons can do what they like. Daughters and granddaughters are meant to stay innocent until they’re old.’
Patrick reached for her again. He checked quickly to see if anyone was watching, then snuck his hand up her jumper and tweaked her nipple. ‘I’m glad you’re not.’
As he’d intended, it broke her mood. Tash squealed, wriggling as she draped her arms around his neck.
Patrick sighed and nuzzled her ear. It was dumb, but he was feeling like a teenager too. Lovesick and horny as hell. ‘I want to take you back to bed.’
‘You can do that tonight.’
‘Too far away. What about lunchtime?’
Tash tipped her head back and regarded him sternly. ‘No.’
‘You’re no fun.’
She raised an eyebrow.
He grinned and kissed her. ‘Okay, so you’re lots of fun.’
‘You ain’t seen nothing yet, baby.’
‘Not helping.’
It took Patrick another ten minutes to force himself from Tash’s arms and into his ute, then another five before he stopped kissing her through the window. Even as he put the car into gear he was holding her hand, their fingers parting only as he released the brake and headed slowly for Wiruna.
But as he approached Springbank, Patrick felt the same gut-deep tug of guilt as he had the night he’d first kissed Tash. He didn’t love Maddy, there was nothing between them anymore and she was gone. Yet still it remained.
He knew why too.
The question was what he planned to do about it.