“That’s the rest of it," Sam announces closing the door to the three-bedroom condo we signed a rental agreement on last Friday. Four weeks ago, we started looking for something off campus and finally after looking at several places Leah happened upon this one located near a small walking park in a quiet neighborhood.

I have my three-month check-up today, and Leah is going with me this time. Sam is going to hang back here and get things situated. After doing some craigslist and yard sale shopping we found some bedroom furniture for everyone along with a couch and two chairs for the living room. I used what money I’ve been making from book cover designs to take care of my share of the deposit and first month’s rent and got myself a bed and dresser for my room. Everything else I needed for my personal space I had already. I haven’t even told my sister about the move and don’t plan to just yet. At the end of the day I need to do what I feel is right for me.

Sliding the glass door open that leads to the small back patio I step outside. The weather is getting pretty cold now. We are at the tail end of October and all the trees have changed their colors to variant hues of warm purples, orange, yellow and red. The small backyard we have isn’t fenced in and it has a clear view of the park.

I wrap my jacket around me a little tighter as a gust of wind blows, picking the fallen leaves up off the ground. Today I get to see the baby. My first sonogram. It’s crazy what four weeks will do. I went from not showing to a baby bump overnight. My morning sickness is almost non-existent. I’ve managed to keep my bump hidden at school wearing leggings and sweaters, trying to prevent the rumors from starting.

I hear the door slide open behind me.

"Hey, you ready?" Leah asks, poking her head outside.

"Yeah, I’m ready."

I’m lying on my back on the exam table when Dr. Turner squeezes some cold gel onto my belly. The moment the Doppler touches my skin, an image of my baby fills the screen and I gasp.

"Look at that. I didn’t even have to work for it. Baby is definitely ready for the spotlight today." She says as she clicks on various parts of the image and types away on her keyboard.

"In case you’re wondering, I’m taking the baby’s measurements. Making sure he or she is on track with growth. And so far, everything looks good."

Looking at the screen, I can see the nose and a little hand. With the flip of a switch the heartbeat fills the room and all I can think is Gabriel is missing this. Maybe I should have told him already and given him the choice to be here or not. Honestly, when it comes to Gabriel I have no clue what the right decisions are.

"Baby’s heartbeat is strong. We should be able to tell the sex in a few more weeks if you’d like to know," she smiles.

"Yeah, I’d like to know." I tell her.

Leah who hasn’t let go of my hand the entire time has a look of wonder and amazement on her face as she stares at the monitor.

"Baby is very active right now." Dr. Turner observes.

I feel flutters all the time. The first time I felt something I was lying in bed on my back while reading a book. It was a little flip flop. I don’t know any other way to describe it. I don’t think there is anything better than feeling your baby move for the very first time. The doctor wipes the gel from my stomach and helps me to sit up. Before leaving the room, she hands me my sonogram pictures.

"I’ll see you November 26^th. Two days before Thanksgiving. Hopefully baby is as cooperative as he or she was today and we can get a look at the gender. You’re doing great, Alba. Everything looks as it should. I’ll see you again soon." Dr. Turner informs me.

Relief washes over me. I’ve been so worried. With all the reading I’ve been doing on pregnancy and what to expect; I’ve also read all the things that can go wrong, and it has made me a bit paranoid. Knowing everything looks good has put my mind at ease.

"Leah, what are your plans for Thanksgiving? You going home? Sam told me the other day he’s going home for a couple days."

"My mom and dad are out of the country right now with the church. I’ll be staying here," she answers in a detached way. I get the feeling she’s relieved about not going home. From what little she has told me, which isn’t a lot, her family life isn’t all that great.

"My sister keeps asking if I’m going to come home. I’m not sure I want to go back home yet. If I do decide to go, will you come with me? I won’t leave you here by yourself," I tell her.

She gives me a half smile, "Of course I would go with you."

* * *

The next day I’m on my way to my truck after leaving the counselor’s office when I literally bump into Professor Green and his hand reaches out catching me by the arm before I fall.

"Alba, I’m sorry. That was my fault, I didn’t see you," He smiles bringing himself a little too close.

I take a small step back putting some space between us, "That’s okay. I wanted to speak with you tomorrow, but since you’re already here, the counselor, Mrs. Reynolds said I needed to make sure all my assignments are caught up before I start online courses. I was going to ask if you could email her and let her know." With his hand still on my arm, I gently pull out of his grip.

"Online course?" He questions. His lips form a thin line, as if he’s angry at what I said.

"I’m sorry, if this isn’t a good time I can come by your office tomorrow—” Interrupting me, he quickly loses the angry expression he had and replacing it with a more neutral one.

"No, I’ll email her tonight, but usually there needs to be a reason a student would need to change from a classroom setting to online education in the middle of a semester. What would that reason be?"

"Oh, I’ve talked with Mrs. Reynolds about my personal reasons already, and she said that switching over shouldn’t be a problem."

"First you move off campus and now you’re dropping out?"

Okay?

“Professor Green…me living off campus or choosing to finish my semester online is none of your business," I tell him. I mean what the hell is up with that? He’s always been a pretty nice guy and a good teacher, but being pissed about things that are none of his concern…

"I take my job as a teacher seriously, Alba. I apologize for being intrusive." he responds in a hurried clipped tone.

"I need to go," I huff.

Turning, I walk to my truck and he calls out, "I’ll take care of everything."

I look over my shoulder and answer him as I climb into my truck, "Thank you."

* * *

True to his word, Professor Green along with my other teachers were able to send all the information Mrs. Reynolds needed and almost four weeks later I’m enrolled in online classes. I have to say that my level of concentration is much better now that I’m working at home instead of in the classroom. The class setting wasn’t for me. This now allows me to not only continue with the degree I want, but to work on my book cover business as well.

That and the fact it seems in the last three and a half weeks my stomach has decided to double in size. And this baby is active. And more so when I get a craving for chocolate ice cream, which I try really hard not to stuff my face with. I swear I could sit and eat a half gallon in one sitting.

Then, there is the whole hiding my pregnancy from Gabriel and my sister. I feel guilty about it all the time. But with Gabriel’s rejection and the possibility of letting my sister down has me keeping my mouth shut. At least till I can work up the courage to tell them. I know it will have to be soon. No matter how Gabriel feels about me, I won’t keep him from his child.

I had another doctor appointment yesterday and decided not to find out the gender right now. I’m not quite ready to know. I feel like I need to share that kind of news with my sister. I’ll wait until I go home for Christmas and we can open the envelope together. That’s when I’ll have to face the music. There will be no more hiding. I even managed avoiding going home for Thanksgiving by saying that Leah and I had the flu and couldn’t make it.

Did Bella buy it? By the hurt I heard in her voice I doubt it, but again, she pretended right along with me. At the end of the conversation she told me all she wants is for me to be happy. She misses me and she hopes I get to feeling better. So here I am, sitting at home—not sick, eating a small turkey dinner I helped Leah cook and I’m not enjoying a bit of it. Not that it tastes bad or anything, cause it’s really good. I’m missing my family. I can sit around and blame someone else for it all but the blame is on me. I chose to go it without them. I needed to prove that I can do this—do life on my own. I needed to prove it to myself more than anything.

* * *

"Sam, I am really sorry. I never meant for any of this to affect you," I say with remorse. Word has spread that I’m knocked up and everyone thinks Sam is the father.

"I’m not. Fuck what everyone else thinks," he says sitting down on the couch, placing my feet in his lap and starts to massage them. Hiding my pregnancy is no longer possible. I swear I’m going to give birth to a linebacker as huge as I am. And I’m miserable. My back hurts and I’m getting cankles.

"You quit the team Sam, all because a couple of the guys said shit about me. You knocked one of them out. What’s going to happen to your scholarship now?"

"You know I never wanted to play football professionally anyway. As for my full ride, I’ll find out my fate after Christmas break. In the meantime, why don’t we go out for a late lunch—my treat. Use what I can off dad’s credit card before he finds out what I did today."

I rub my belly. Food sounds good, food always sounds good.

"Leah should be back in about an hour. Dinner sounds good." I glance up at him, "Mexican?" I ask.

Standing up I tell him I’m going to take a shower. Stepping in my room and closing the door, I strip out of my clothes and throw them in the hamper. Walking over to the bathroom I stand in front of the full-length mirror next to my closet door and stare at myself wearing nothing but a pair of boy shorts. My body has changed so much. My hips are a little wider and my breasts are a whole lot bigger. Even my face seems like it has changed somehow. I’m not the same woman I was almost six months ago. I turn and look at my profile. I’m going to be a mom. Every-day I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself and every day I’m still in awe. I love this baby more than anything in life.

We decide on Taco Tuesdays at Jose’s. You get half off tacos, and I’ll try to eat my weight in them. Plus, the atmosphere here is great. I lean back in my chair.

"Why did you guys let me eat so much?" I think I ate five. But they were so good.

"I’m kind of scared to say no to you," Sam says with his eyes wide, chuckling.

"Sam, she is eating for two you know. What’s your excuse?" Leah jokes, which causes all three of us to laugh.

"Why don’t we stop by Dairy Queen on the way back home and get some ice cream. I want a banana split." I say when we stand and put on our coats. They both ignore the fact that I just told them I was full but am and now requesting dessert. Stepping outside the restaurant I breath in the cold evening air. The sun is hidden behind a bunch of clouds causing all the Christmas lights outside to come on. Every storefront in town is decorated with lights and garland. The whole street is lit up with twinkling lights and dancing Santa’s everywhere.

"Can we walk for a few minutes guys? I want to see all the decorations." I ask them. Agreeing, we walk up one side of the street then back down the other before we make our way back home.

"Guys, did we forget to turn the lights off when we left?" I ask.

"No, I was the last one out. I know I turned everything off," Sam says.

He gets out of the truck first telling us to stay put and let him check things out. I watch him open the door to our apartment and walk in.

"Come on Leah, let’s go inside."

"He said to stay here," she says adamantly.

I’m not listening. I climb out of the truck and make my way to the front door with Leah right behind me. As soon as I walk through the door I see Sam coming downstairs. The whole place is trashed. The couch is slashed. The TV lays on the floor shattered to pieces. The food that was in the refrigerator thrown everywhere.

"They must have come through the sliding door in the kitchen. I haven’t looked at all the damage upstairs yet, and whoever was here is gone," Sam tells us both. All three of us walk upstairs. My room is the first bedroom we come to and the door is open. Sam goes in first and I bump into his back from his abrupt stop. He quickly spins around blocking my view with his body, trying to back me out the door.

"What the hell, Sam? Let me in," I demand.

"Sweetheart, you don’t need to see anything. We need to call the police."

What in the world is he talking about? I force my way past him, And I really wish I hadn’t. Hanging on my wall above my bed is my sonogram picture. It’s pinned to the wall with a pocket knife and the words GET RID OF IT OR I WILL, written in blood red paint.

My knees go weak and bile rises into my throat. Luckily Sam catches me before I fall to the floor.

"Who would do this?" Leah asks. I start to shake and then cry.

"I’ve had someone messing with me since school started. First flowers, then the notes. Someone was even in mine and Leah’s dorm. I haven’t said anything thinking whoever it was would stop, and I thought they had. I’ve not had a note show up for several weeks now," I sob.

Sam bends down and picks me up and sits me on my tattered bed. "Why didn’t you say anything? You should have told someone, Alba."

"I know, I know. I thought maybe someone was trying to play a prank on me at first, and when I stopped receiving notes and figured they had moved on."

Leah grabs my hand and tells me, "We need to call the police."

I look up at both of them with red eyes and a tear-streaked face, "No, take me home."

"Alba we have to—”

"I want to go home!" I interrupt Sam.

Kneeling down in front of me, he brushes my hair from my face before speaking, "Alright, but Leah is driving you. I’ll stay here and call the police." He looks at Leah, "Pack her some clothes, if you leave now you can make it by 10:00pm at the latest."

I watch Leah gather what she can that’s not shredded and shove it into a small suitcase she found in my closet.

Get rid of it or I will.

The image of those words keeps repeating over and over again in my head. Why would someone want to hurt my baby?

"Come on Alba, let’s go. I have what I could find. Let’s get you home." I hear Leah speak, but it sounds muffled like I have water in my ears. I let them lead me to the truck, and Sam buckles me in and tells Leah to call as soon as we get there. I sit there in the passenger’s seat staring out the window.

I haven’t stopped crying the entire time we have been driving. I think I’m almost to the point where I have no more tears left to shed. My eyes hurt. My head hurts.

We arrive in Polson, "You’ll have to tell me which way to go. I’ve never been here before," Leah states.

I quietly give her directions until we pull onto the long dirt road leading to the clubhouse. I don’t have to worry about someone letting me in because the club put up a new security gate complete with keypad and code entry. Bella told me it was installed a month ago thanks to Logan’s dad and she gave me the code in case I ever needed it and right now I’m thankful she did. I give Leah the code to punch in and the eight-foot gate slowly slides open and then closes as we pull through. After parking at the end of the building I climb out spotting my sister’s car. On autopilot I make my way inside.

I’m barely in the door a second when I see my sister running towards me with a smile that quickly falters, "Alba, what’s wrong?" She asks as she pulls me in for a hug. Looking from Bella my eyes connect with Gabriel’s and I pull my coat tighter.

"Cariño Sweetheart?" Gabriel’s deep voice addresses cautiously.

My sister is staring at me then gasps and covers her mouth the moment I pull on my coat again, doing nothing to hide my pregnant belly. Gabriel’s eyes drift to what has Bella’s attention and I feel my heart race even faster.

"What the fuck?" he growls. "You sure didn’t waste any time spreading your legs for that ball player, letting him knock you up." He accuses me, his tone filled with rage.

My shock mirrors my sister’s and without hesitation my palm connects with Gabriel’s cheek slapping him. The sound of my hand against his flesh echoes off the clubhouse walls. And a second later Bella’s connects with the other side. How can he say such a thing? Does he really believe I would be so easy? That I would quickly sleep with someone else after being with him?

Grabbing my hand, my sister leads me through the crowd of bikers and up the stairs to my room I always used when I stayed here. Closing the door, she sits me down on the bed.

"Alba, what is going on? Talk to me. I knew you were keeping something from me and I suspected it had something to do with Gabriel, but I never thought for one minute you were pregnant with his baby," she says calmly, but with hurt in her voice. The fact that she didn’t ask who the father was and assumed it was Gabriel shows me just how attentive she has really been.

"I didn’t find out I was pregnant until I was two months along. And after Gabriel told me in not so many words I was nothing to him, I couldn’t say anything."

She stops pacing and sits down next to me on the bed.

"It hurts my feelings that you didn’t feel you could confide in me."

"It’s not that I couldn’t. I chose not to. I didn’t want to disappoint you."

"You could never disappoint me, Alba. You have to live life for yourself and make your own choices. I’m 100% behind you, no matter what. Don’t you know that?" My sister asks, "But I get the feeling something happened and that’s why you showed up here a few days earlier than expected crying. What’s going on?"

Defeated, I tell Bella everything. Every detail leading up to what happened this evening. My sister can no longer hold back her emotions. Leaning over she holds me and I welcome it.

"I’m going to be an auntie," she sniffles.

Hearing Gabriel’s voice booming through the clubhouse catches our attention. It’s muffled, but I know it’s his. Oh my god, I completely forgot about Leah.

"Bella, my friend Leah brought me. She’s down there right now and those men are probably scaring her to death."

Wiping her eyes on her sleeve she walks out the door and ten minutes later she’s walking back in with a very freaked out Leah in tow.