Breath hisses between Scott's lips. "A… did you just say what I think you said? Are you sure? I don't think that's a good idea."

I pull away a little to face him. "I know I'm still young and blah blah blah, but after this year, I have to be a grownup. I have to join the workforce and be responsible. College is the time to experiment and have fun and go wild. Instead, I've wasted it on a crap relationship that went nowhere. This is my last chance. Please, get on board. I can't do this without you."

He downs his Mike's with a grimace. "Amanda...I just don't know."

I bite my lip. "Please?"

He groans, slumping back into the couch. "Fine. How do you want to do this?"

I grin at him in triumph. My partner in crime. My best friend. He's always there for me, no matter what. He smiles back, his white teeth flashing, blue eyes sparkling. How did I ever forget how hot he is sometimes?

I clap my hands together. "Okay, first I need paper and a pen."

Scott reaches for the shelf under his black and glass coffee table and pulls a notepad and pen from one of the baskets.

Kicking my shoes off, I curl my feet up beneath me and set the pad on my lap. "The rule is I have to check everything off the list before the end of the school year so I get the full college experience. Then I can start my career and go on with my life with no regrets." Well, no other regrets. I banish Adam from my mind.

I scribble "Fuckit List" at the top of the page in big letters. "Okay. What should I do?"

Scott laughs and shrugs. "It's your list, love. What are your fantasies?"

My cheeks burn and I duck my head. "I've always had a bit of a crush on my chem professor."

He raises his brows. "Oh really? Why have you never told me about that?"

"Too embarrassed. I barely admitted it to myself."

"Well, there's your first item."

I draw a box beside my professor's name, tapping my pen against the pad. "Oh, what about a stranger from a club or something and I never get his name."

"What about a threesome?" His voice is teasing as he tickles my ribs.

"Yes!"

He shifts against the couch and clears his throat.

I add both to the list, grinning and getting a little wet at the idea of doing all these things. I was tired of missionary. I was tired of almost only getting orgasms at my own hand. I wanted adventure and kink. I wanted to do things I never thought I was brave enough to ask for.

Now, I would demand it.

I added a fourth box, but my mind was blank and foggy from booze and emotional drainage. I couldn't think of anything else. "I've got nothing. What about you?"

His brows furrow in thought before he shakes his head. "Why don't we take a break and maybe something will come to us."

"Yeah. Wanna watch TV?"

"Sure." He grabs the remote from the coffee table and clicks it on. I sink back into the cushions of the couch as he flips through the channels. He pauses on HBO; one of those late night sex-centric shows is playing. He raises and brow at me in question and I nod.

"Maybe it'll give us some inspiration."

He chuckles, the sound wrapping around me like a soft, fuzzy blanket. We sip at the last couple drinks and watch a documentary about a stripper who also moonlights as a boxer. It flashes between footage of her beating the shit out of someone to her writhing topless on a stage. Her tits are huge and swaying to the beat of the pulsing music and lights flashing across her skin, painting her in purples and reds.

Then it switches over to some sort of special about anal plugs, showing women bent over, jewels, and even furry tails in their asses. I gnaw on the inside of my cheek at the sight. Yet another thing I've never experienced.

It's weird sitting next to Scott, watching porn. But weirdly comfortable. Adam would never have done this with me. I never would have dared bring it up as a possibility.

"The high school football captain."

I jump at Scott's voice, lost in my forbidden fantasies. "Right, I always did think he was super-hot." I added him, grinning. It’s so nice to be so well-known.

The show changes to a full-on soft-core. A man and woman are moaning and rolling around in bed. She lies flat on her back, gasping for breath, her perky breasts heaving and bouncing. The man leans over her, kissing down her chest, his lips making contact with everything but her nipples. She arches, silently begging for him to take them into his mouth, but he doesn't. He keeps teasing her, getting close and closer, but never quite touching her where she wants. His arm disappears under the white sheets, down her body. Whatever he does under there draws cries of delight and pleasure from her mouth. Her eyes squeeze closed and she tosses her head back.

The man tosses away the sheet, baring the sight of his fingers buried in her. Baring his, oh my word, huge dick. I can't imagine taking one that big. Adam was much, much smaller.

The woman begs for him to fuck her, squeezing her own tits. He pulls his hand out of her and replaces his fingers with his cock. Her mouth opens in an O as he slides in and out of her, his ass flexing in front of the screen.

They come together, shouting, which of course only happens in porn movies.

I squirm. Adam had never made me feel anything like that. I hadn't even bothered faking it as hard as that. And while I know this is a performance, in the moment, it feels real. And I ache with longing. To be touched. To be pleasured.

For someone to focus so completely on me like the man does to her.

Is that where I am now? Jealous of a porn star?

I shake it off, focusing on my list. What else? Who else?

Of course. "My boss."

Scott arches skeptical a brow. "You sure? Isn't he married?"

"No, he's divorced. And yes, I'm sure. I've read tons of sexy books where a young girl is seduced by her boss. It's crazy hot."

My entire body flushes, thinking about the last one I'd read. Where he'd bent the girl over his desk and spanked her. And then fucked her from behind against the cold glass of the window while she watched the cars and pedestrians below, wondering if anyone saw her from the building across the street.

Or maybe my professor would want to punish the naughty schoolgirl.

Does Scott have the air conditioning on? I'm burning up.

Scott throws me a wicked grin, his blue eyes sparkling. "I might want to read one of those."

I giggle into my drink. "You should. They're fun and hot as hell." I take another sip and consider my scrawled list. "Okay, I need at least one more."

We're silent for a moment, watching the two girls on the screen make out, grabbing each other's breasts, their moans loud, echoing in the loft apartment it was filmed in.

"How about a local celebrity?" Scott asks. “I hear the weather guy on 5 is an easy lay.”

"That might be a reach for me, but why the hell not?" I raise my bottle and he clinks his against it.

I add the last one, nerves fluttering low in my belly. And something else flutters there as well. Something warm. Something that grows as I watch the girls perform sixty-nine on each other, their faces buried in pussy. Something that grows each time Scott's skin brushes against mine.

I hug the pad to my chest. "I've only ever been with Adam. How am I going to get over the...the weirdness? Of having sex with people I don't know?"

Scott purses his lips, watching me with a soft expression. He smiles, slow and full of mischief. "I have an idea."

"Uh oh."

He tickles me again. "You're comfortable with me, right?"

I ignore the fluttering in my chest. "Of course. More than anybody."

"What if I give you something you've never had before?" His eyes dart to the girls still licking each other. "I'll go down on you. That way, I'll be your rebound and you'll see how easy it is to get back out there."

I don't even stop to think or consider. I'm tired of thinking and planning and considering every possibility. It's time to have fun.

"Okay.”