What we kept calling our non-existent relationship changed after that night. Though we haven’t set any parameters or said we were officially dating, we’ve been spending every night together.

Yeah, he’s either been at my house or me at his every night, and yes, I sleep in his shirt but it’s comfy, that’s the only reason why.

At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.

That’s why I’m a little worried about how things are going tonight. He’s not doing anything glaringly different but I notice the subtle things. He’s holding my hand any chance he can, or when I was making dinner, our eyes would meet and the look he would give me would bring most girls to their knees.

It’s a look I’ve dreamed about getting for years. That one that says you’re the one, with the twinkle in their eye and the slight smile that forms on their lips. I’ve seen it in movies and read about it in books, but never have I witnessed it myself, until now.

After I close the dishwasher, his hand intertwines with mine, and when I look up to his eyes, I see it again.

Tingles start at my chest and radiate out until I feel a cold sweat cover my body. I don’t know what’s going on. Do I like this? Is this fear? Is this love? Am I scared? Am I happy?

All I know is I’ve never felt this way and my head is more clogged than rush-hour traffic.

When his lips brush over mine, I feel my chest tighten even more and my stomach flip around. Proving that something is definitely going on.

He leans back, and I take a deep, cleansing breath which makes him chuckle under his breath as he walks away with his chest held high. The swagger in his walk is like he’s the king of the prairie about to claim his lioness.

He can tell I’m affected but I think he’s misunderstanding what it means. Shit, I don’t even know what it means.

His grip on my hand pulls me to my room where he sits on the bed and pulls me between his legs.

I wipe the sweat coating my palms on my shorts before running my fingers through his hair.

The slight moan he gives does nothing to my nerves, just intensifies the situation and now my heart is beating wildly.

His hands wrap around my waist and start to pull up my shirt where his lips replace the soft feeling of the fabric. Chills race down my spine, and I shiver slightly which garners another slight chuckle from Alex.

My head falls back as I take a deep breath, slightly pursing my lips together, letting it out as slowly as possible, trying to calm my nerves so I can figure out what these feelings going through me are.

Once his hands reach inside my shorts, rubbing my favorite spot, the nerves turn into ripples of pleasure and I give myself over to him.

I’m losing all control but I like it. I want him to dominate me and take everything inside my head away. I just want to be a woman who has no thoughts, no questions, no concerns, and just feels and loves what is happening to me.

Alex wraps his hands tighter around my waist, hugging me briefly before slowly lowering my shorts down the length of my legs, trailing kisses every inch he can.

My shirt and bra are next, and once I stand completely naked in front of him, his lips wrap around my nipple while he mumbles three words under his breath I can’t quite make out.

Slowly picking me up, he places me on the bed and removes his own clothing while I lie still as a board, waiting for him to help these feelings move through me so I can figure out what they mean.

His lips meet mine in a kiss full of desire, passion and, dare I say, love?

Without releasing his lips from mine, he reaches down with one hand, positioning himself at my entrance, and slowly pushes himself inside.

A moan I’ve never heard releases from my lips. It’s deep, it’s emotional, it’s raw. My eyes glisten from the emotions running through my body when Alex’s voice lifts me from my trance.

“Jenelle, look at me,” he whispers as he brushes my hair away from my face and slows down his thrusts so he’s leisurely moving in and out of me, driving me close to the edge already.

I open my eyes to see him staring back at me. His eyes crinkle at the side, like a thought just came to him and his lips tilt up to a smile.

“I want this, Jenelle. I want us. Let’s tell people. Let’s not hide this anymore. I see you in my future. I see us getting married some day.”

I close my eyes, pretending it’s more from the pleasure ripping through me instead of the shock that just filled me to my core.

Did he just say tell people? Did he really just mention marriage? Has he lost his mind? We aren’t even a real couple. Are we?

“Jenelle, open your eyes. Did you hear me? I want to be with you. Only you.”

His movements stop, and I know he’s waiting for my response. I’ve been so confused as to what’s going on between us already, and now this, especially right now.

Having no clue what I’m going to respond with, stupid me says the first thing that comes to my mouth, “You’re already married.”

After it comes out of my mouth, I instantly regret it and open my eyes to see the rejection flashing through his mind. But did I reject him? I didn’t really say no… But I guess I didn’t say yes, either... I need more time to take in his words.

How did we go from not wanting to even see someone to talking about marriage?

In a streak of lightning, the sweet Alex that’s been shining through all night is gone and my sex freak is back, flipping me over so I’m lying on my stomach before he spreads me wide and pounds into me with punishing thrusts that feel so good yet terribly wrong.

I know it’s different now. I can tell in how he’s touching me. Normally, his hands pull me in tight, caressing me like I’m a mirage, constantly making sure I’m real, but not now. His grip is tight, his grunts firm, and his only care is getting me off so he can get off too.

Literally.

So I give him what he wants. I fake my orgasm for the first time, purposely clenching my pussy tight as I scream out, praying he doesn’t notice.

Three seconds later, his thrusts take flight, pounding harder and harder until he slams his release inside then pulls out without even relishing in the after wave.

Thankfully, my face is buried in the pillow, and I keep it there, not wanting to face what I think is to come. Not because I don’t like him because I do. The thought of it ending right now makes my chest a little tighter than I want to admit, but this is all too fast. I need to think a little more.

When I feel his warm body lean over and kiss my shoulder, relief fills my chest but it’s short lived.

“I got to head home. Thanks for tonight.”

I turn to him, seeing him for the first time and noticing instantly the change in his stature.

“Don’t leave,” I whisper as I reach for him.

“Sorry, plans tonight. I have to head out.”

Liar.

I take a deep breath before moving to get out of bed, worry and pain filling every part of me. “I’ll walk you out,” I state, trying to prolong his leaving so I can think straight.

He stops me. “It’s okay. I’ll let myself out. Bye, Jenelle.”

The way he said bye before kissing my forehead left my stomach turning but I do nothing to stop him. I said goodbye and watched him walk out of my room with a devastated gut feeling, wondering what all just went wrong.