1
Alex pours kibble in a bowl, puts it on the floor and clicks his fingers.
“Come on Bart, breakfast,” he calls.
A gangly Labrador puppy, the color of cocoa, skids around the kitchen door, paws scrabbling on the tiles and slides straight into the bowl. Kibble scatters all over the floor and Bart sets to slurping up as much of it as he can.
“Dude, really?” Alex says as he gropes for the broom and begins sweeping up the spilled dog food.
“Let me guess, Dork Dog knocked his dish over again,” Ben says leaning against the door jamb.
“Be nice, he’s just a baby,” Alex says. “Don’t listen to him, Bart.”
The puppy, a Christmas gift from Ben six months earlier, finishes chasing bits of kibble with his nose and jumps up, pawing at Ben’s thigh, tongue lolling, and tail wagging while Ben tries to drink coffee rather than wear it. Any concerns he’d had about getting a dog has vanished in the face of Alex’s reaction only to resurface when Bartholomew, promptly dubbed Bart by Alex, peed by the bed overnight and Ben stepped in it the next morning. He had renamed him Dork Dog on the spot and refused to refer to him by any other name. It amuses Alex that, despite this rocky start, Ben was the first to break the ‘no sleeping on the bed’ rule and hates to miss a walk in the park. Which is where they’re headed now. If Bart lets Ben finish his coffee.
A volley of barks erupts when Alex clips Bart’s leash on his collar, makes sure the poop baggies are attached, and reaches for the bag of tennis balls.
“I think he actually ate one yesterday,” Ben says rinsing his cup and checks his pockets for his keys. “How is that even possible?”
Alex snorts.
“You can talk. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if you ate a tennis ball. I’m pretty sure you’re actually a Labrador in disguise.”
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Bart strains against the leash, pulling them along the street to the dog park. He stops only to pee on every lamp-post and wag his tail at every passer-by.
“He’s just a poop and pee factory with paws,” Ben says as he waits, hands shoved in his pockets, for Alex to pick up after the puppy. He refuses to help, arguing that Alex is a nurse and thus trained in dealing with excrement. “I think everything comes out as fast as it goes in.”
Laughing, Alex unsnaps the leash and lets Bart bound across the grass after a tennis ball. For half an hour they take turns throwing tennis balls and Bart alternately drops them at their feet or refuses to let them go. Eventually, worn out, he flops down under a tree, tongue out, panting. Laps at the water Alex pours into his hand for him.
Ben lays down next to them, propped on one elbow. Bends down to kiss Alex, stretched out in the shade, arm curled beneath his head as a pillow. Ben’s public displays no longer make Alex nervous, but it helps that they’re not the only same gender couple at the dog park and most people here know them. Besides nothing can spoil his mood; today is his thirtieth birthday and in a month, it will be two years since he and Ben met. Two years of feeling loved and safe; of coming home to someone who loves him as he is. Falling asleep warm and sated and waking up to bright green eyes and a heated smile.
“Happy birthday, baby,” Ben says and kiss him again, hand warm on his waist. Bart thumps his tail on the ground.
“What time are Polly and your mom arriving?” Alex asks when the kiss breaks.
“In about two hours and we need to be at the restaurant by five,” Ben says checking his watch. “Meg says she’ll come over at four, so that should give us time to get everyone sorted.”
“Only if you don’t spend hours in the bathroom,” Alex replies, twisting out of reach when Ben tries to tickle him.
Bart rolls on his back, oversized paws in the air, tongue lolling.
“Your favorite girl is going to look after you tonight,” he says and scratches the Labrador’s belly.
Bart scrambles up on to Alex’s lap, licking at his face and neck, snuffling in his hair and ears. Alex drops back in the grass with the dog stretched out on top of him; closes his eyes and reaches out for Ben’s hand. He feels happy.
“Alex?” Ben laces their fingers together and kisses the back of Alex’s hand.
“Mmmmmm?”
“Will you marry me?”
Alex opens his eyes. Ben’s expression is uncharacteristically closed and unreadable; he’s pale and tense. Alex bites his lip and takes a deep breath.
“Did you just propose?”
“Depends.”
Alex’s mouth twitches and he bites the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing as he plays along.
“On?”
“Whether you’re going to say yes or not.”
This time Alex does laugh.
“Good answer.”
“Safe answer.” Ben’s voice is low and shaky.
Alex reaches up to pull him down into a kiss.
“In that case, yes.”
The shadow drops from Ben’s face and his eyes soften as he relaxes and tries to lean into the kiss. Bart has other ideas, however, shoves his nose between them forcing Alex to sit up, laughing and wiping away puppy drool. When he turns back, Ben’s holding a small black box in his hand. Alex looks from the box up to Ben’s face and back again. Swallows hard, then reaches out to open it.
Nestled in the box is a plain gold band. Set into the center, flush against the gold, is a diamond. Alex takes a deep breath and tries to calm down. He reaches out and grasps the hem of Ben’s tee-shirt to reassure himself and realizes it’s something he’s not done since their first months together. It’s been at least a year since his last panic attack and that was brought on by running into a friend of his mother at a movie one evening. He and Ben had been hand in hand, leaving the cinema as she walked in. She’d nodded and kept walking without speaking but Ben had to pull over twice so Alex could vomit on the side of the road. Alex had spent the night clinging to him, fingers twisted in his tee-shirt.
“Baby?” Ben says, worry rushing into his face.
Alex takes the ring out of the box and holds it for a moment in the palm of his hand.
“It’s okay. I just always thought I’d be alone,” he says. “You changed everything. Even knowing how messed up I am, you still want me … I’m just trying to wrap my head around this.”
When Ben picks up the ring, Alex catches his breath. Smile as it is slipped onto his finger.
“I love you,” Ben says.
“I love you back.”
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