DISCUSSIONS BETWEEN FRIENDS
The next day was quieter. The men went into the woods – it was not the season for a hunt, but there was time still to take a long ride or two before the snow set in – and the ladies stayed behind to sew, chat, and discuss their plans.
They all sat in the solar, a tapestry spread between Alina and her sister, where they worked together on some complex feat of embroidering.
Aili sat with them. She looked as if she, too, had not slept, Chrissie noted. She was not sorry not to be the only person who seemed to be suffering from lack of sleep that day.
“...and I told him they should be careful. But will he listen? No!” Amabel was saying, her bright voice filling the chamber and making Alina and Aili laugh. Chrissie, who had heard only the last part of the story, grinned. It was evidently something about her husband, Broderick, whose legendary stubbornness was a constant source of amusement between the two wedded people.
“I think he may have learned from experience, though,” Alina said dryly, leaning forward to cut off a piece of white thread. Her pale brow furrowed as she concentrated, and she caught Chrissie looking and smiled at her. Chrissie recalled how worried she had looked the day before and resolved to find out what was going on.
“Learned from experience? Probably. Actually listen to me for a change? Well, what do you think?” Amabel replied.
They all laughed.
“Chrissie, dear,” Alina said, leaning in to talk to her while Amabel threaded a needle and gave some account of Broderick's last major outing to a hunting party, “You seem worried. Are you well?”
Chrissie shuddered, forgetting for a moment how perceptive her elder cousin actually was.
“I am a little...in my thoughts today, yes, Cousin,” she admitted.
“You don't like him, do you?” Alina asked. Chrissie stared at her. She had been holding a piece of her own needlework, planning to finish it later that day. She dropped it.
Chrissie stammered. “I...”
Alina laughed. “The one who kissed you. You don't like him. I can tell.”
Chrissie sighed. She had wanted to ask Alina that very question. She hoped they were talking in private, and when she glanced around the room it seemed to be so, for Amabel and Aili were bantering, and the wife of a visitor was sewing the tapestry with the two sisters, talking to her companion on her left. No one was watching them, so she decided to trust her cousin. “I don't know.”
Alina smiled. “You feel something, it's true. However, I think you wonder if it is that way, or if it is a brother's love you share. Yes?”
Chrissie bit her lip. How had Alina known anything about what she wanted to ask her? She had not even told her she had been kissed yesterday. Never mind telling her about her own doubts in the matter. Or about Blaine.
“Alina...” she reached for her cousin's hand. “You are right. I do wonder. And I also wonder if I would know what love felt like. I mean,” she paused, licking dry lips, “I know it sounds silly,” she added, “but how do you tell when you love someone? No one ever tells you about that, do they? Well?”
Alina let out a breath audibly. “No,” she said, giving Chrissie a gentle smile. “No, I suppose they don't. All I can tell you, dear, is that your heart knows. How your heart feels will tell you. Remember, there are lots of different ways to love someone. You love me, for example, and I you. However, my love for Amabel is different, and my love for Duncan, too. Do you understand?”
“Yes...” Chrissie said, not at all sure if she actually did understand.
“I think that you love both these men, but in very different ways,” Alina explained gently. “When you have to decide, you will know. Believe that.” Her dark eyes bored into hers, conveying a sense of certainty in their expression that reassured her.
“Thank you,” Chrissie whispered softly. “I will.”
Alina laid a long hand over hers and Chrissie sighed, feeling more relaxed than she had since that evening in the arbor when Heath had saved her from the rain. Blaine's face as he watched them had stuck in her head and she could not forget the anger on his face. Even here in the warmth, she shivered to see it. Alina did not seem to notice. She turned to Aili.
“So you will be safe for the winter?” she asked.
Aili snorted. “From the elements, yes. From the McDonnell? Maybe.”
Chrissie stared at her. “McDonnell?”
Alina gave a sidelong glance at her, as if to reproach their aunt for speaking so loudly and worrying her. Then she sighed.
“The McDonnell, it seems, have been massing on their borders for some time. It seems like soon they will make their attempt to reclaim their disputed holdings. We think this winter.”
Chrissie felt her heart start pounding sharply. There was talk of war? That winter?
Aili snorted. “Not the disputed bits I'm worried about. Nor them either, I think. It's the legitimately ours bit that worries me more, lass. I think they've their eyes on it. There's more to be worried about there, to be sure, than all the disputed borders put together.”
Alina bit her lip. She nodded. “I know, Aunt. And you are right. But we mustn't let ourselves worry over much. There is no cause for them to take the castle. If aught happens, you must all send for us. Come and stay here. If there is even word of a siege, we will break through. Trust me.”
Aili grunted. “I trust you, lass.”
The emphasis was on the “you”, and Chrissie wondered why. She looked at Alina, who was looking at her hands. At length she spoke.
“You do not dispute our loyalty or our strength, I know,” she said quietly. “But I understand you do not think it will be as easy as I say. I hope we are wrong and that it really is nothing serious. I pray that.”
“Well, then,” Aili said, seeming happy again. “We should talk about something else. What's the outlook for riding in these woodlands?”
Alina, who knew their aunt had been a keen rider in her youth and before her seclusion, answered. “It is good riding, Aunt. Flat in most places, with broad trees and easy spaces between them. Not like...”
“Not like the wood nearer Lochlann,” they finished together. They all laughed.
There was a story in the family about Alina's mother, Lady Joanna, and her riding skills. Alina told it now, and they all chuckled at the end, where her suitor ended up dismounted by riding into a tree branch.
Aili chuckled happily. “Oh, dears. It's been ages since I sat and talked and laughed like this. We must do this more often.”
Alina and Amabel smiled.
“You must stay longer, Aunt,” Amabel supplied. “We would all be delighted to have you.”
“Yes,” Alina agreed quietly. If that was something to do with the impending birth, Chrissie did not know. All she knew was that she did not like to see Alina worried.
That and the talk of troops massing on their northern borderlands made her feel particularly uneasy. She sat and sewed, but she could not get out of her mind the images of men and horses, blood, weapons, and dying.
I do not want a war at Lochlann.
More even than the danger and the horror, Chrissie worried for her family. For the people she loved. For Heath and Blaine.
She thought of their faces, one lean and aristocratic, the other blunt and craggy. She thought of the way Blaine smiled, the way Heath beamed at her. She thought of Heath's voice and Blaine's belly laugh. The way Heath was so courteous and the way Blaine fought with her.
When the time comes to choose, you will know. Trust yourself.
Chrissie bit her lip and bowed her head. Please, she thought deep in her heart, let that be true. She needed to know how to choose between them. Her birthday was coming up and soon Uncle would wish to know her choice. She would need to know too.
Before Blaine did something hasty.
Blaine's stubborn cheekiness and Heath's gentle manners. Both were so different. Both made her feel such different things, but both made her feel.
She just had to hope that, with time, she would learn to choose between the two of them.