Chapter Thirty Two
An hour later, I walk into the house with a genuine smile on my face, still riding the high from seeing Sophia. The fact that she happened to be wearing a sports bra and skin-tight pants was an added bonus. And seeing her so fresh faced, with her long hair tied back stirred something deep inside of me. Maybe it’s because she looked even more beautiful than the last time I saw her, which I thought was impossible. Or maybe it’s because it gave me a little insight into how she must look when she wakes up in the morning. And it’s impossible to picture her in the morning without also picturing her in my bed. Adrenaline rushes through my veins as blood rushes to other parts of my body.
It feels strange walking through the house, like I don’t belong here. It probably doesn’t help that it’s filled with furniture and artwork that Emily chose without me. It’s always been a house but never a home. I can’t say that I have many happy memories here and I won’t be sad to see the back of it.
I take two stairs at a time and head for the master bedroom. I pass a few spare rooms on my way and notice the freshly painted walls and dustsheets. Emily didn’t wait very long before deciding she wanted to redecorate. I open the door to the bedroom but stop in my tracks when I see her. She’s standing in front of the mirror, wearing only a bra and panties. I quickly turn around and face the hallway. “I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I thought you would be out.”
“Hello to you too.”
“I should have checked with you first.”
“Turn around, Mason.”
“I’ll wait until you’re dressed.”
“Stop being ridiculous. It’s nothing that you haven’t seen a thousand times before. Turn around.”
I slowly turn back around but keep my eyes on the window next to her. “I just came to pick something up. I’ll be gone in a minute.”
She slowly saunters towards me. “You don’t have to rush off. Why don’t you stay for a little while?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” She traces a finger down my chest. “I miss you.”
I bring my eyes to hers. “Emily…”
Her hand reaches the waistband of my jeans. “I miss your touch.”
“Stop it.”
She ignores my protest and moves her hand even lower. “I miss your…” Her eyes go wide when it meets its intended target. “It appears that you miss me too.”
I push her hand away. “No, I don’t.”
“Your dick says otherwise, darling. Did you like walking in on me almost naked? Did it turn you on?”
“Stop. Just stop it.”
“Why? Why are you trying to fight it? You’re hard for me.”
No, I’m really not. She tries to reach for me again but I take a step back. “No means no. Keep your hands to yourself. You don’t get to touch me anymore, darling.”
“So it’s like that now, is it?”
“We both know what the situation is.”
She reaches around her back then her bra falls to the floor a second later. “I know that you’re still my husband. I know that I want you. And I know that you must want me too.” She looks at my crotch but there’s no trace of arousal left whatsoever.
“Put some clothes on. We went over this last time.” I walk over to the drawers and begin searching for what I came here for.
“Have you met somebody else, is that what it is?”
I pause. Perhaps for a little too long judging by the surprised look on her face. “No.”
“Are you sure about that?” I ignore her and continue to look through my remaining belongings. “Maybe we should give it another shot.”
“We’ve given it plenty of shots.”
“We can do more therapy.”
“Please can you put some clothes on?”
“You wouldn’t be saying that a few months ago.”
“We’re not the same people as we were a few months ago. The past is the past.”
She finally slips on her robe. “We could take things slow.”
I sigh. “It’s over, Emily. We both know it.”
“So you’re not going to fight for us?”
“I’ve been fighting for well over a year and you know it. I’ve tried everything. I’m the one who suggested therapy in the first place, remember? Sometimes it’s about knowing when to walk away.”
“So what are you saying? That there’s no hope for us?”
“It’s time for us both to move on. We need to start being honest with ourselves and with other people. I don’t want to hide it anymore.”
“I’m not ready.”
“I don’t think you’ll ever be ready. We’ve been separated for three months now.” And emotionally separated for a lot longer than that. “I’ve filed for divorce.”
Her face falls. Shock turns into panic. “Don’t serve it. Please. I need a little more time. Give me an extra month. Six weeks tops.”
“Why? What difference will it make?”
“As soon as you serve the papers, it’ll become public record and everyone will know. I’m not ready for that yet. All this time I truly believed that we were going to get back together. Now I know that it’s final, I need some more time to let it sink in and to somehow tell my family. Then we can tell everybody the truth. Please, Mason.”
I nod. I’ve already waited several months so another few weeks isn’t going to make any difference. “Okay. I want this to be as painless as possible for both of us.”
“Thank you for understanding.”
“I don’t want things to turn bitter between us. I don’t expect us to be friends but I don’t want us to hate each other.”
She smiles sweetly. A wolf in sheep’s clothing. “Don’t worry; things won’t turn bitter on my end.”
“That’s good to know.” I gesture to the drawers. “I’m trying to find my grandpa’s pocket watch, have you seen it?”
“No. Are you sure you haven’t already taken it with you?”
“I’m sure. I kept it in this drawer with my other watches.” I check a few other places it could be.
“How strange. I’ll have a look around for you.”
“Please let me know if you find it. You know how much it means to me.”
“Of course.”
“Okay well I should go.”
She swings the ties on her robe. “You know where I am if you change your mind or if you ever get lonely.”
“Goodbye, Emily.” I don’t tell her that I’ve been lonely for a long, long time.