After Ray left I found myself in desperate need to keep myself busy. My mind was my own worst enemy. Why would I think Ray would want to have sex with me? Kissing was one thing, but to see me naked? I couldn’t blame him for backing off.

Growing up kids at school called me In-The-Way-Shay because I was always so knobby and knocked things over. My mom told me I often reminded her of a giraffe. While that may not seem like an insult, it was.

Under Ray’s kitchen sink I was surprised not only to actually find cleaning supplies, but they were unopened. He was either the laziest, slobbiest person ever or he really was never here.

There weren’t any dishes in the sink, so I went about spraying down the counters, sink, all the appliances. When I was happy that the sheen of dust was gone, I went to working on the floors. While I cleaned, my mind raced to scenarios. Ray was nice, he didn’t outright say I wasn’t his type or that he thought I was weird. But I knew. Guys who fucked me did it in the back of clubs and with the lights off. Men like Ray never even looked at me twice. I wasn’t as beautiful as Francis was, but I wasn’t so ugly no one touched me. There was just that moment right after orgasm the other guy looked disgusted.

I don’t know why I flirted. Ugh! The more upset I got with myself the cleaner Ray’s house got. The musty, stagnant odor that once filled the air was replaced with lemon and lavender.

I meant it when I said I trusted Ray, I did. There was an honesty to him, a gritty, raw honesty. He kept people safe. It didn’t matter he said his past was shady. Who he was now was a good person. I was so conflicted.

I was in the room Ray assigned me tucking in the clean sheets when I heard the front door.

“Andy?” Ray shouted.

I didn’t answer, just went toward him. As I got closer, I heard him mumbling.

“Did he polish the legs of the couch, too? Jesus, I didn’t know that was a black entertainment system, I thought it was brown.”

“I was just as shocked,” I said smiling, when he jumped at the sound of my voice.

He turned and the expression on his face had me laughing. He just stared at me, but after a few seconds he chuckled.

“You didn’t have to do this, Andy.” He walked past me and placed a couple bags on the clean table. “Wow, in here, too?”

“I really did have to, Ray. It’s healthier this way and it smells good.” I sniffed dramatically earning another chuckle.

“I just have a couple more bags in the car, I’ll be right back.”

I began unpacking the bags while Ray brought the others in. He had a lot of pasta, two steaks, hot dogs, burger patties, basically bachelor food. If it wasn’t for Augustine’s, I would never have learned how to cook. There were a few things missing from some recipes I knew, but maybe I could make this work.

“I’m not a big cook. I mostly eat at a cart on the street or Rudy’s.” He shrugged and his sheepish look had me thinking how much I wanted to kiss him again. The sobering memory of why I wasn’t going to shook me from those lust-filled thoughts.

“Fortunately for you, I work in a five-star restaurant and have learned a few things.” I rolled up my sleeves as I reached for the two steaks. “Why don’t you go do whatever it is you do and I’ll make dinner.”

“I don’t need you waiting on me, Andy.” He seemed equally upset and embarrassed.

“It’s a thank you for helping me, Ray. I’ll also pay you, but I need to do this, please?”

Ray did in fact go do his whatever things and I began cooking. Remembering everything Max, the head chef from Augustine’s, had taught me wasn’t hard because he yelled them at me. Like I was on autopilot, I just cooked.

I was just plating everything when my phone rang. It was an unknown number so I thought perhaps it was Elise calling from her sister’s.

“Hello?” I answered as I placed the butter sauce in a bowl.

“You can’t have what’s mine,” the robotic voice said over the phone.

“I’m sorry, what?” Prank calls were—wait no. “Why are you bothering me?”

“I will find you.” It was the last thing the voice said before they hung up.

“Ray!” I shouted as I ran out of the kitchen. “Ray.”

I heard him running just as I turned into the living room.

“Andy? What is it?”

“I got a call.” I handed him my phone where the unknown number was still displayed. “It was a robot voice, like one of those devices that masks the person’s real voice?” He nodded as he walked over to the small table next to the couch and pulled out a pad. “They said ‘you can’t have what’s mine’ and ‘I will find you.’”

He was writing the number down along with everything I said.

“How’d they get your number?” I didn’t know if Ray was asking me or talking to himself, but I answered anyway.

“Same way they found out I was at Elise’s. Same way they seem to know a lot of things. They’re following me and they’re smart.” I huffed and went back to the kitchen.

“Andy?” Ray followed behind me. “Ever hear the saying there’s always a bigger fish?” Of course I had, I was five once, I nodded. “Yeah, well, we’re the bigger fish and we’re gonna find this guy and he will pay.”

We didn’t speak much after that. While I poured our drinks Ray sat, pad in hand thinking.

“Eat, Ray. I’m sure you’ll have a lot of work to do tonight figuring this out so you better eat.” My hands shook as I grabbed my fork and knife.

Even though I was at Ray’s and safer than I was at Elise’s, the fact the killer called me, touched me when I was at my safe place, unnerved me.

“This is delicious, Andy.”

I blushed under the praise, I didn’t get a lot of it. I was no Gordon Ramsey, but I got by. Eating at the food court constantly would’ve become costly, and if I was going to spend money, I’d rather splurge on groceries to make Francis and me small dinners and lunches.

“Thanks. It’s financially better and healthier. Enjoy.”

We ate in silence; the clinking of our utensils filled the air. I glimpsed at Ray a few times and he caught my eye, winked and went back to eating.

He really didn’t seem worried about the call. And I asked him why.

“Your phone isn’t linked to this address, so whoever this is can’t track you here…”

“Unless they’re smart enough to know how to track a phone.”

Ray shook his head. “True, but then why not just come here, why call at all? I don’t think they know you’re here yet.”

“Maybe they needed me to answer to be able to track it.” I watched too many cop dramas, and by the look on Ray’s face, he agreed.

“Let’s focus on what they said to you. ‘You can’t have what’s mine,’ what’s that mean? What do you have? And ‘I will find you.’ That solidifies they don’t know where you are.” He was writing again, his plate empty and pushed aside.

“How could I have anything this person wants? He killed Francis not me. They didn’t even know I was there until I opened the door. None of it makes sense.” The frustration that filled my veins finally burst through, and I swiped my plate off the table and sobbed when it crashed to the floor shattering into a million pieces. It was all too much. I missed not being able to call or sit with Francis to talk about everything, and I didn’t understand what Ray saw in me if anything, and someone wanted me dead.

“Andy.” Ray was so close I could smell his after shave and feel his breath on my cheek. “I’d be losing my shit if I were you, too. But, I promise we will figure it out.”

My watery gaze met his confident one. “I feel safe with you, Ray,” I whispered. “When I’m here or near you, I feel like that’s true.”

He pulled the chair closer, leaned into me so he was once again an inch from my face.

“I want you to feel safe, Andy.”

I didn’t know why I felt so bold but suddenly I did. Perhaps it was desperation.

“Is that all you want me to feel?”

“Oh, Andy,” he said right before his lips crashed against mine. The surge of lust was insane, and suddenly I was being hoisted up, my back pressed against the kitchen table.

“I’ll make you feel so much more.” His voice was gravelly and deep, and I closed my eyes when he began to suck on my neck.

I hope he didn’t regret this later.