‘Hello, Mackenzie. We need to talk.’
Shit!
‘Damned right we do!’ As unexpected as it was, this was a showdown Mac welcomed. Over ten years of bitterness, anger and jealousy coalesced into a great cannonball of angst inside her and demanded to be fired. All the conjecture about this woman had come down to this moment in time. Now, Mac was determined to have answers to her questions. ‘I know exactly who you are and what you did!’
Emerald green eyes glittered at Mac. Lois pushed past her, into the suite, and demanded, ‘Close the door.’
‘Who the hell do you think you are to give me orders? I’m not—’
Lois shoved her out of the way and kicked the door closed herself. The other woman wasn’t anywhere near as feminine as she’d seemed when Mac thought of her as Gray’s lover—and had seen her in her silky negligee she wore as Devereaux’s lover. She virtually stormed her way into Mac’s suite like a military commando!
Mackenzie was slightly winded from the shove when her back was forced against the wall. Still, she caught her breath and challenged, ‘How dare you force your way in here.’
‘You’re interfering in something dangerous you don’t understand,’ Lois told her angrily.
What? The woman was deranged. ‘You’re dangerous!’ God, but she hated Lois with an intensity she’d never felt towards any other person. ‘I’m not about to let you hurt Devereaux the way you hurt Grayson.’
Green eyes widened and Lois blinked a couple of times. ‘Devereaux was right. You think I hurt Grayson?’
‘You were with him the weekend he was murdered. Don’t try to tell me you weren’t.’ Her lips turned down as bitter bile rose from her stomach. ‘I’m sure the police will be very interested to learn your identity, and reopen this cold case.’
‘Shut up and listen to me!’ The words were low and commanding. ‘Grayson wasn’t who you think he was.’
What the hell was she talking about? ‘He was exactly who I thought he was when I first met him—a smooth, womanising bastard. It’s just a pity I didn’t realise he was never going to change his ways. It was to my shame that I bought into his lies!’
For the first time, there was a softer light in Lois’s eyes. Was it sympathy?
‘You’re wrong, Mackenzie. Grayson was a good man.’
‘Like hell! He wouldn’t have cheated on me with you if he’d been a good man!’
Mackenzie pushed herself off the wall and followed Lois as the other woman walked further into the suite.
‘Devereaux asked me to come and speak with you and explain about Grayson,’ Lois said. Her lips twisted. ‘Actually, it wasn’t a request. It was a command.’
Dev had listened to her! She was happy to know it, but right now this was about Lois, and her involvement with Gray. ‘I know you were having an affair with Gray,’ she accused.
‘Wrong again.’ Lois pointed towards the doorway which led to a sitting room. ‘Let’s sit down and I’ll tell you what really happened with Grayson.’
‘Let’s,’ Mac agreed angrily. ‘You first.’ No way was she turning her back on this woman.
Lois rolled her eyes but went through to the sitting room. When they were both seated opposite each other, with a coffee table between them, she started her explanation. ‘Grayson was a secret agent.’
‘Oh, for God’s sake!’ Mac shot to her feet. Of all the garbage she’d ever heard, this had to take the cake. ‘Get out!’ She started towards the door, but she’d barely taken a step when Lois had vaulted out of her seat and had Mac’s hands firmly behind her back. One of Lois’s hands was at Mac’s throat. It all happened so quickly, there was nothing Mac could do to defend herself.
Very close to her ear, Lois said, ‘I could snap your neck right now, Mackenzie. You might think I’m bad, but I’m actually one of the good guys. Now, are you going to sit down and listen to what I have to say or not?’
Fear spiked through Mac. Lois had already killed at least once and was far superior to her physically. There was nothing stopping her from following up on the threat of her words. Mackenzie was so effectively caged against Lois, she couldn’t move. The blood pulsed hard at her throat and her heartbeat was erratic as adrenaline surged through her.
Lois could snap her neck.
Thoughts swirled.
Eliza!
She tried in vain to pull away—to save herself from this woman who’d already robbed Eliza of her father.
‘I could hurt you, but I won’t, Mackenzie. I’m merely illustrating a point to make you see I’m telling you the truth,’ Lois said without lessening the pressure of her hold. ‘I didn’t kill Grayson. I wasn’t having an affair with him, either. Are you prepared to listen to the truth?’
Mac made a strangled noise and tried to nod her head.
Instantly, Lois released her.
Sucking in a huge breath of air which turned into a series of coughs, Mac turned to face her enemy. Her throat was abraded from Lois’s hold, and she shook badly.
‘Sit down!’ Lois commanded.
Mac returned to her chair without any further argument.
‘Grayson was working undercover,’ Lois began. She went and perched on the arm of the chair, opposite Mac. ‘His front was as the owner of a clothing factory. Under that guise he started gambling, and managed to infiltrate a highly organised crime syndicate. He borrowed heavily from them to cover his gambling losses, but made out that he was having trouble paying the money back.
‘They did a deal with him. If he let them use the basement of his clothing factory as a drug warehouse, they’d let him live and he got an extension on the time he had to pay off his gambling debts. In doing so, he was able to monitor a lot of their associates who came and went from the factory. It was an intelligence gathering exercise.’
Mac reeled. It didn’t seem credible that the man she’d thought she’d known was involved in something like this, but then she hadn’t known him more than a couple of months.
‘I was sent in to act as his love interest, because he forgot the cardinal rule—that we’re married to the job. He stupidly went and fell in love with you, got you pregnant and planned to marry you,’ Lois threw at her a little contemptuously.
‘He didn’t love me,’ she confessed miserably as her shoulders rounded.
‘Don’t be blind, Mackenzie. Shut up and listen to what I’m telling you.’ The words were brutal. Impatience and disgust shimmered off Lois in giant waves. ‘Grayson knew he couldn’t afford to get involved with anyone because of his occupation. Anyone he was close to was placed at risk—could be used as leverage against him.’
Mac was unable to move a muscle. Hanging on every word, she tried to fathom what Lois told her. ‘Are you telling me I was at risk?’
‘Absolutely. That’s why I was sent in. If the crime bosses thought Grayson was cheating on you and bought the story that he was only marrying you because you were pregnant—and he wasn’t sure whether or not the child was even his—’
She sat bolt upright. ‘Of course Eliza was his. I hadn’t slept with anyone else when I met Grayson!’
‘Settle down.’ Lois made a calming gesture with her hands. ‘Grayson knew you were carrying his child. He put the rumour around so the crims would be less likely to try to harm you or your baby. What we needed to do was make them think he wasn’t particularly attached to you so they didn’t see your safety as being something that could be held against him.’
‘Oh, my God!’ She drew in a great gulp of air and her shaking became giant spasms wracking her body. It was unbelievable. Incredible. Yet, it had a strange ring of truth about it.
‘He knew he shouldn’t have become involved with anyone, but he met you. He told me he took one look at you and knew you were the one for him.’
Mac bit her lip as tears pricked at her eyes. ‘Really?’
She so wanted to believe it was true. At the time, she had believed it, then she’d found out about Lois and her world had come crashing down around her. She hadn’t taken the opportunity to confront Gray and Lois when she’d seen them together and had never had the chance to ask Grayson for the truth. Now, she tensed her body in an attempt to stop the spasms which attacked it.
‘He told me you were both sitting in a nightclub trying to talk over the noise,’ Lois relayed in a less aggressive tone. ‘You were very shy and yet you plucked up the courage to ask him to dance. He knew from that night you were the woman he wanted to marry.’
‘Oh!’ Gray had told Mac the same thing.
Over the last decade, Mac had thought about how little she’d really known her fiancé. Theirs had been a whirlwind romance. She’d met Gray when her closest friend had convinced her to go to the nightclub. Good-looking, sophisticated and eight years older, Gray had swept her off her feet and into his bed. Theirs had been such a passionate affair, they’d made love more frequently than they’d talked. She’d decided after his death that she hadn’t really known him. But … a secret agent?
‘It’s hard to believe what you’re telling me,’ she said quietly as she willed the tremors in her legs to subside.
‘After you fell pregnant, he wanted to quit the service.’ Lois sighed. ‘He was an excellent field agent, but he spoke to our bosses about quitting. He was told as soon as he finished this particular assignment and brought the syndicate down, he could resign.’
Mac raised her fingertips to her temples and pressed in on the pain as it grew worse. ‘I had no idea—no inkling.’
‘Of course you didn’t,’ Lois scoffed as she threw her hands up in the air. ‘He wouldn’t have been a secret agent if he’d gone around telling everyone!’ She rolled her eyes. ‘He loved you completely. You were pregnant with his child and he wanted a future with you.’
‘I thought …’ She swallowed to try to clear the tangle of emotion lodged in her throat. ‘I thought he was having an affair with you. I thought he’d gone back to sleeping around.’
‘No.’ The word was firm. ‘He wanted out of the spy game. He decided to step things up against the syndicate bosses. I know he planned to wear a wire to get evidence against them. When I pointed out the risks, he said he’d rather die than have anything happen to you or the baby.’
Oh, God! She bit down so hard on her lip, she tasted blood. It was all too awful to contemplate. Angst welled within her. ‘Is that why they murdered him? Did they find the wire?’
‘We’re not sure. There was a problem with the transmission.’ Lois stood up and walked around the back of the armchair. For the first time, Mac sensed that Lois had also been affected by his death. It seemed as though she had to pull herself together because it took a few moments before she spoke again. ‘I know he was impatient to see them behind bars so they couldn’t hurt you. He was wearing the wire at the hotel when he told me he was ducking back upstairs to get his wallet.’ She moved her hands in a gesture of sad futility as she spoke. Regret scored her features. ‘I should’ve gone with him, but we’d bumped into a guy he knew from school and he left me talking with him. By the time I realised something wasn’t right, Grayson had given me the slip.’ She shook her head a little sadly and Mac realised Lois blamed herself for Gray’s death. As matter-of-fact as Lois tried to be, it seemed the ugly incident had impacted badly on her too. Her voice was hollow when she said, ‘I think he went to the warehouse they had in his factory. I believe he tried to get something recorded.’
Oh, Grayson. Squaring her shoulders, she braced herself for an answer she didn’t know whether or not she really wanted to hear. ‘You swear you didn’t ever have an affair with him?’
‘Absolutely not.’ Mac’s tension decreased a notch at the admission. ‘He had a lot of brief affairs before he met you. You should understand that his lifestyle didn’t allow for serious relationships. He wanted commitment with you and we needed to throw the syndicate off your relationship, which is why I was sent in,’ Lois reiterated.
Tears flowed freely as Mac relived her loss. But, mingled with those tears was guilt. Huge guilt. Grayson had died loving her—trying to protect her, and she’d lived on thinking he’d cheated on her—thinking she’d meant nothing special to him.
Following rapidly on the heels of guilt came anger—tidal waves of it were unleashed because whoever it was that Gray worked with should’ve told her the truth. They’d robbed her of the truth and they’d robbed her of closure.
She stood abruptly and yelled, ‘How could you let me keep thinking he didn’t love me when he probably gave his life to save mine? How could you? All—this—time?’ Consumed by futile anger, she raised a hand to strike out at Lois.
Lois fended off the blow easily and caught Mac’s wrists to arrest her movement. ‘It wasn’t my decision.’ Sorrow tinged her words. ‘The powers that be only operate on a “need to know” basis. I guess they figured the less you knew the safer you’d be.’
‘But I thought he didn’t love me!’ she sobbed. Lois released Mac’s hands. When they were free, Mackenzie’s frame crumpled. Her upper body folded in on itself, unable to withstand the sheer anguish as every one of her beliefs was upended. ‘For all this time I’ve hated a man I once loved.’ She cried hard. ‘He didn’t deserve it … He didn’t deserve my hatred. You’re telling me he loved me, right to the end.’
Lois steered her towards a chair and sat her down before hunkering down in front of her. ‘Oh, yeah. He loved you. He loved you deeply, Mackenzie.’ She looked a bit sad for a moment as she nodded very slowly. ‘You must be one hell of a woman to earn that sort of devotion from two fabulous men in one lifetime.’
‘Two men?’ Mac frowned.
‘I thought you were supposed to be smart,’ Lois said disparagingly. ‘How can you not realise how Devereaux feels for you?’
Devereaux.
Oh God. The mental and emotional shift from Gray to Devereaux hit her like a meteorite to the chest.
‘Are you telling me …?’
‘Devereaux cares deeply for you. He’d tell you himself if he was free to do so—if he wasn’t at a critical stage of an assignment.’
Critical stage of an assignment. The words and their meaning detonated fear, and adrenaline coursed through her again.
Severely shaken, Mac swallowed. She looked really hard at Lois and then her brain went into overdrive as bits of the jigsaw puzzle began to fall into place. The playboy exterior she thought was a mask must be a cover … the hushed phone call … the meeting at Club Tango … the womanising … the minders …
‘Devereaux’s a secret agent too.’ The words came out as a mere whisper, because she simply didn’t have the energy to speak normally.
Instantly, shutters came down over Lois’s face. It was impossible to read anything in her expression.
An anguished cry came from deep within Mackenzie. She leant forward with her elbows on her knees and covered her face with her hands. She was light-headed, trying to cope with the most surreal situation she’d ever known.
Surely any moment now she’d wake up from this horrible nightmare?
Gray had been an undercover agent on a dangerous mission and had been murdered. Devereaux was an undercover agent too. God! What if he ended up being killed as well?
Mac’s blood chilled and her head snapped up out of her hands. ‘Is Dev in trouble?’
‘Devereaux had to go to the trade talks this morning. He intends to talk to you the first break he gets.’
‘You tell me, Lois!’
‘I can’t.’ She shook her head and stood up.
Shit! Mac’s suspicions were surely correct. It all made sense—Devereaux didn’t show his true self to the world, it was all a cover.
But, how much of it was a cover? Was she part of the cover, or was the connection she sensed between them real? Lois had intimated that Devereaux cared deeply for her. Was it true? Was Lois here pretending to have an affair with Dev the same way she said she’d pretended to be Gray’s lover?
‘Are you sleeping with Devereaux?’ No matter how much it hurt, she had to know.
‘No. I’m undercover.’
‘Devereaux is an agent.’
‘He’s not an agent. He’s a civilian helping us out, which is ten times more dangerous, because he’s not properly trained.’
Shit! ‘What’s he mixed up in?’
Lois crossed her arms over her chest. ‘I can’t tell you and neither should he.’
A hundred thoughts flew through Mac’s head in under a second and her neurons were busy trying to make sense of everything she was being told.
Overwhelming exhaustion hit her hard.
She’d loved and lost one man who’d been a secret agent. It was horrifying to think she might go through all that again. Reaching out, she grabbed at Lois’s arms. ‘Don’t let him die, Lois. I couldn’t bear it if he died too.’
Lois disentangled herself from Mac’s hold. ‘I’ll do my best, but you need to help. Devereaux doesn’t need to be worrying about you.’ She used her position of height to deliver her warning. ‘You need to get out of Santaliana. Whatever you feel for Devereaux, you can’t let him know. While you’re around, Dev’s head is not in the game, and that could endanger his life.’
‘I’ve already spoken to my father. I was prepared to leave tomorrow and a replacement will be sent in.’
‘Good.’
‘No! I realise now I have to stay and talk Dev out of whatever it is he’s doing that’s putting his life in danger.’
Lois shot her a deadly look. ‘Deveraux’s been working to bring a crime family down. The mission is important to him and it’s nearly over. Do you want him to resent you at some point in the future, for trying to talk him out of doing something he’s made his one goal for four years?’
‘I love him, Lois! I can’t sit back and do nothing and let him be killed. I can’t go away without letting him know how I feel about him.’
‘Stop!’ The word was as sharp as a shard of glass, slicing through the air between them. ‘Grayson took risks because he wanted to protect you. Do you want Devereaux to take unnecessary risk as well because he’s thinking about you?’
‘Of course not!’
‘You think you can get him to abandon his plans, but it would look suspicious if he pulled out now. It may mean that his life would be forever endangered by those he’s hunting. Is that what you want?’
‘No!’ Her fingernails scored into the flesh of her palms.
‘Then don’t interfere. Go back to London. Don’t tell him how much you care and for God’s sake don’t tell him to quit. Keep your distance from him so he can focus on what he has to do.’
Mac closed her eyes for a second and wished Dev was here. She needed to talk to him.
When she reopened her eyes, Lois pinned her with a commanding glare. ‘After you leave here—no contact. No emails, text messages or phone calls that might be traced.’ She pointed a finger at Mac. ‘This isn’t just about Devereaux’s safety and it’s not just about you. This is about your daughter too. Grayson’s daughter. You need to keep Eliza safe.’
Freezing fingertips ice-skated up and down her spine. ‘We could be in danger again?’
‘Only if Devereaux’s cover is blown and you’re connected with him.’ She gave a slight shrug of one shoulder. ‘It’s highly unlikely, but it is possible. Eliza already created a sensation when Devereaux rescued her, and—as you know—there’s been speculation in the media about the identity of the mother who was bundled into the royal limousine during the incident.’
Mac nodded and the action hurt her head. She would do anything to keep her daughter safe.
‘Go home to London as planned, Mackenzie.’
‘Does Devereaux know all you told me about Gray?’
‘He didn’t know anything until you showed up, recognised me and told him I was responsible for murdering your fiancé. Then he demanded answers and I told him about my assignment with Grayson.’ Her lips twisted. ‘He thought you had a right to know.’
‘He was right,’ Mac said adamantly, thankful she finally knew the truth.
Silence descended between them while Mac tried to process everything she’d been told. Sadness pressed down on her shoulders and made her heartbeat sluggish.
‘Remember, Dev has a team of bodyguards and I’ll also be looking out for him,’ Lois said. ‘You and Eliza have none of that, so don’t do anything stupid.’
It struck Mac how little respect Lois had for her—that she treated her largely with hostile contempt. Even given the woman’s unfair attitude, Mac couldn’t dislike her now she knew the truth of her association with Gray—and with Dev. Sensing Lois held herself partly responsible for Gray’s death because she hadn’t been there to provide backup for him, Mac felt compassion towards the female agent.
‘Thank you for telling me, Lois,’ she managed at last. Lois got up and may have walked away without another word, but Mackenzie called after her. ‘Lois?’
‘Yes?’
‘It wasn’t your fault Grayson died. He made the decision to wear the wire and go in without you. He knew you didn’t have his back.’
Seconds passed as Lois looked at her. A different vibe passed between them—an understanding. A truce.
‘Thanks, Mackenzie. You’re alright.’ She nodded before she walked away and let herself out of the suite.
Mac sank down into an armchair in the corner of the room. She grabbed a cushion and hugged it tightly to her chest while she tried to achieve some measure of closure about Grayson’s death.
Shell-shocked was probably the best way to describe how she felt. Lois had led her into a minefield of revelations which had blown her beliefs apart. Lois being undercover tied in with why she was never identified. Mac could only guess that some higher up authority had stepped in to protect her.
Her head thumped. It was all way too much to come to terms with.
Grayson had loved her.
She held the knowledge close to her heart.
It’d been such a strain lying to Eliza and making out that her father was a great guy who’d loved Mackenzie and his unborn child.
Her lip trembled and she reached for a tissue so she could wipe her eyes and blow her nose.
It was a relief she’d be able to tell Eliza about Gray’s love truthfully now—that she’d be able to dwell on the positives about the man she’d fallen in love with as a teenager, and relay them to their daughter, rather than feeling she’d been a fool to have thought he’d loved her when he hadn’t.
Although their relationship had been brief, there’d been many special moments. Mac had ruthlessly blocked them all out and never relayed any of them to Eliza. Now, the floodgates were opened. There were many memories of precious times when they’d laughed and loved, fewer of quiet times sharing dreams and making plans together. Gray had missed out on the opportunity to know his daughter, but she knew Eliza shouldn’t miss out on understanding the man her father had been.
All these years, Mac had been scarred thinking she’d shown poor judgement in Gray’s character. It’d knocked her confidence and she hadn’t felt able to trust her judgement about men and relationships. She’d kept men at a distance. It’d only been Devereaux who’d successfully broken down those barriers, and yet here she was landed in a similar situation.
Her emotions were a matted mess.
There was no escaping her love for Devereaux. He put his life in danger for a cause he believed in. The glimpses she’d had of the caring, noble man who existed beneath the mask were true. The man she’d fallen in love with did exist. In fact, he was more worthy of her respect and admiration than she’d ever known.
Lois believed Devereaux loved her …
Guilt pressed in on Mac. How could she even contemplate her feelings for Devereaux when she’d just found out the truth about Gray? It felt disloyal when it was almost like she’d just lost Gray again. Her grief was too fresh, too raw, to think about the future. She needed to come to terms with the truth about the past.
God, but she wanted to find those responsible for keeping her in the dark and yell and scream at them to make them understand how their decision had impacted so negatively on her life.
How unfair—to her and to Gray.
Oh, Gray, please forgive me for not believing in you—for doubting your love.
If only she’d known. If only she’d been allowed to mourn Gray’s death.
Grief caught up with her now. Now, she knew she would grieve for the man who’d given her a beautiful daughter and who’d died as he tried to protect them both.
Alone with her tears and her memories, Mac gave in to emotional exhaustion. She lay down on the couch with a pillow under her head and cried herself off to sleep.