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The Life We Wanted by Kelsey Kingsley (45)

epilogue

sebastian

 

“Anyway, I decided to get rid of it.”

I woke with a jolt. My hair was matted to the sweat dotting along my forehead, and I brushed the growing lengths back. Lifting up onto an elbow, I reached over to the nightstand and flipped the switch on the ugliest piece of shit lamp I had ever seen.

Tabby liked them, and what Tabby liked, Tabby got.

She slept soundly beside me, unstartled by my rude awakening. I watched her for a minute, debating whether I should wake her or not.

Fuck, she was beautiful, even as she slept. Some people can’t look good while sleeping. They revert to a weird state of childlike innocence, with puffed cheeks and puckered lips. But Tabby maintained the beauty that made me want to stare at her and wonder how the hell an immature bastard like myself managed to get so lucky.

I decided to let her sleep, but knowing I needed to do something to take my mind off the sudden return of that dream, I climbed out of bed and quietly left our room. I was tempted to step into my drum studio and beat the skins to rid myself of the adrenaline, but I headed downstairs instead. Some TV might do me some good, I figured, and I swung into the living room, only to find Greyson sitting on the couch.

“Hey kid,” I greeted him, hopping over the back of the sofa and landing next to him. “Can’t sleep either?”

He shrugged. “Not really.”

I noted a book in his lap, and nudged my chin toward it, as I asked, “What’s that?”

Wordlessly, Greyson flipped the cover open, to present me with the first page of photographs, and my interest piqued. I leaned closer to look at the baby pictures of Greyson, a younger Tabby, and a vaguely familiar face. His mother.

“God, you were cute.” My mouth had a mind of its own as the corners of my lips lifted into a warm smile. “Turn the page.”

Grey complied, and my eyes focused on one large picture of Sam, holding a swaddled bundle of blue. She was lying in a hospital bed, gorgeous green eyes pointed directly at the camera and a bright, deliriously happy smile affixed to her young, pretty face.

“That was right after you were born, I guess,” I muttered, nodding slowly.

“Do you hate her?” Greyson asked, finally speaking in a low, gruff tone.

I tore my eyes from the picture and turned to the tormented look on his face, and I shook my head. “No. I don’t hate your mom. There’s some shit I wish I knew, sure, but …” I pursed my lips, looking back to the picture and wishing I could remember more about her. “Nah, I don’t hate her.”

“Why not?”

Pulling in a deep breath, I leaned into the back of the couch and wrapped my arm around his shoulders. “Because all of this, Grey?” I lifted my hand and gestured out toward the living room. “All of this never would’ve happened if it weren’t for her.”

He nodded and looked down to the picture. “She would’ve liked you.”

“You think she would’ve approved of me marrying your aunt tomorrow?” I chuckled, squeezing his shoulder.

Greyson snorted at that. “Oh, yeah. Definitely. She would’ve been like, ‘Finally, someone’s gonna make her chill out.’”

I laughed. “That’s good to know.”

“Yeah,” he replied, nodding. “She couldn’t stand the guy Aunt Tabs was with before. He was so …” He uttered a sound of disgust.

“Well, I, for one, am glad she dodged that freakin’ bullet,” I mumbled, and squeezed his shoulder once again before standing. “Come on, kid. Big day tomorrow, and you know if you’re not awake bright and early, your aunt is gonna rip you a new one.”

His nod was accompanied by a forlorn sigh as his eyes met those of his mom once again. “I wish she was gonna be there.”

“Me too, kid.”

 

***

 

Tabby wrapped her arm around my waist as I laid back down. She lifted her head and pressed her ear to my chest.

“Too excited to sleep?” she teased, and I felt her smile in the dark.

“That, and I had a bad dream,” I gently mentioned.

She hummed as her fingers came up to thread between the hairs on my chest. “About me leaving you at the altar?”

I snorted a chuckle. “Baby, even dream me knows there’s no way that’d ever happen.”

Her lips pressed to my skin. “Well, what was it about, then?”

My fingers slid into the lengths of her auburn hair. Stroking, combing, as I revisited the nightmare that haunted me every now and then. I told her about the phone call, the memory of her sister telling me she was going to have an abortion. Tabby stroked her fingers over my chest, nodding solemnly, until I was done, and she lifted her head to kiss my jaw.

“At least it’s just a dream,” she offered gently.

“I thought it was the truth for a long time,” I reminded her, as our eyes met in the darkness.

Tabby nodded, lifting her hand to lay against my cheek. “I know.”

“Do you know why she didn’t get rid of him?” I asked without intending to say the words aloud.

She lifted herself higher, brushed her nose against mine, and kissed my lips in a way that steadied my hammering heart. My arm tightened around her, pulling her closer and finding a calm amidst the anxiety.

“I talked her out of it,” she whispered, and my brow furrowed.

“But I thought you judged the hell out of her when she told you,” I cautiously mentioned.

Tabby’s lips met mine again before her sad smile took over. “I did, and I knew I didn’t want to be anything like her.” The regret in her voice swallowed any remnants of joy from the air, and she sighed, as her fingers kept stroking over my chest.

“But she was pregnant,” she continued, “and there was something really happy in that, too. I mean, I think part of me really hoped that having a baby would calm her down a little, but deep down, I knew that wouldn’t happen. I just kept thinking about the baby in there, and even while she kept saying she had made a mistake, I couldn’t think of him like that. I kept thinking he happened for a reason, and that he deserved a chance to be something, you know?”

I nodded, knowing the rest of that story. How she had changed the course of her own life, to serve as the stability she knew Greyson would need. She was selfless, the polar opposite of how I had lived much of my life, and I shook my head as I floated somewhere between adoration and awe.

“I fucking love you, you know that?” I whispered, molding my palm to her cheek.

“Well, I’d hope so,” she laughed lightly, pushing her fingers into my hair. “I mean, in just a few hours, I’m going to be your wife. You better love me.”

I grinned, reveling in that word. Wife. Fuck, who would’ve imagined me ever being married, with a family of my own? A year ago, I didn’t even know I had a son, let alone a woman just waiting for me to come along and mess her up.

Commitment was so far from my vocabulary then, and now, I wished I could chain myself to their sides. Just so I would never know what it was like to be without them again. They changed me—they tamed me.

And although Sam might’ve been the one to carry Greyson for nine months, it all came down to this woman. Her sister. The one to convince her that having a baby was the right call. The one to give my son the sturdy foundation he needed throughout the first fifteen years of his life, to give him a home and a mother when his was no longer there. The one who brought me into their lives, introduced me to this house and a life I never knew I could have but never stopped wanting.

All of this never would’ve happened, if it weren’t for her.

That little witch.

My Thumbelina.

 

Does Sebastian get his chinchilla?

What’s coming next?

Find out in the bonus epilogue.

 

Curious to read Devin O’Leary’s story?

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