31

sebastian

 

“You rented a limo?” Tabby stared out the front window, shock evident in her widened eyes.

“We’re traveling in style tonight, babe,” I told her before turning to my sister and brother-in-law. “Thanks for letting Greyson stay here tonight.”

Mel smiled knowingly, passing a look between Tabby and me. “Yeah, it’s no problem. Have a good time tonight.” Then, she stepped closer to me, lowering her voice to say, “Don’t screw this up.”

“I’ll try not to,” I muttered in reply.

“You look so weird, man,” Steve laughed, shaking his head, still staring at my hair.

“Yeah, I know,” I agreed, pushing my fingers through the short blonde strands. I hoped that eventually they’d stop having phantom pains, and I’d recognize myself in the mirror. “Okay, Greyson, behave. Don’t set anything on fire and don’t steal anything, got it?”

Greyson rolled his eyes. “Uh-huh.”

“Hey, I have to say this shit, because true story, that happened, and my parents couldn’t leave me anywhere,” I informed him. Mel nodded in corroboration. “See? I have back-up.”

We said our goodbyes and were out the door, being let into the limo and having the door close behind us. Tabby adjusted the dress over her lap, crossing her legs and staring out the window as we pulled away from the curb. An excited little smile tugged at her red lips.

“So, you’re going all out tonight, huh?” she commented quietly, as if she didn’t want the driver to overhear.

“Hold on,” I smirked, pressing a button to roll up the partition window. “There, now it’s like we’re in our own little world.”

“Being around you is like being in my own little world.” She shook her head, a flush creeping up from her neck. “What’s with all the bells and whistles?”

I shrugged, leaning back in my seat and making myself comfortable. “I figured it’d be nice. I haven’t really gone out since being off, and once the fall-winter tour starts up in September, I’m going to wish I had.”

“I bet that’s tough for you.” She tipped her head, an almost sympathetic glimmer in her eyes. “To go from being such a party animal to living the single dad life.”

The comment reminded me of what Mel had said. About Tabby probably being attracted to Roman for his sense of responsibility, as though she was under the impression that I had none. Despite owning a house, cooking regularly, and doing my own laundry.

I furrowed my brow and shook my head. “I really don’t know what you think I do when I’m on tour. I mean, is there some drinking and having a good time? Sure, but I am nowhere near what I used to be like back in the day. I tour with a married couple with a baby, for crying out loud. We don’t exactly snort lines of coke off the asses of strippers.”

“Have you ever?” She was testing me, eyeing me studiously and flashing me a pinched smile.

“Snorted lines off a stripper’s ass?” I chuckled, shaking my head. “Thumbelina, that’s one thing I’ve never done.”

“Which part?”

“All of it.” I narrowed my glare. “Drugs have always been a hard no for me. A little weed here and there, I could get down with, but the hard shit? Fuck no. I value my life, thanks.”

“Hm,” she nodded, diverting her gaze to the window. “I really like the dress, by the way.”

“So do I,” I commented, laying my head against the back of the seat.

Her hair was pulled to the side, cascading in waves over one shoulder and leaving her back exposed. With a hand in desperate need of possessing her, I reached out, pressing my palm between her shoulder blades, touching my fingertips to the nape of her neck and into the nest of her hair.

“I’ve missed you.” My mouth said the words, but it was my heart doing the talking.

She turned to glance over her shoulder, smiling sweetly and nodding. “Yeah, I guess I’ve missed you too,” and she moved toward me, nestling under my arm and against my side. Her palm pressed over my thundering heart. “Can I be honest about something?”

“You better be,” I smirked, finding a comfortable spot in her gaze and staying there.

“I’m not sure I miss your hair.” She bit her lip, lifting her hand to touch the freshly-cut ends. “It looks so fucking good. It’s like … like you’ve been hiding underneath it.”

Laughing hoarsely, I snickered. “I had it up more than half of the time.”

“Yeah, I know, but I think it kind of distracted the eye from everything else. Like your eyes—”

“What about my eyes?”

“Well,” she swallowed, and I pulled her deeper into my gaze, edging my mouth closer, “they’re just unusually dark, and so pretty.”

“That’s what every man wants to hear; that he has pretty eyes,” I teased, batting my eyelashes.

“Shut up.” She smacked my chest playfully. “You asked.”

“I did,” I submitted. “What else?”

“Oh, fishing for compliments, huh?”

“I’m a little self-conscious right now,” I reasoned, reaching up to touch my hair and everything that was missing. “You’ve gotta stroke my ego a little bit before I face my friends. They have no idea I did this.”

“Okay,” she conceded, her voice conditioning and soothing as she slid her fingers between the lapels of my jacket and down over my stomach. “Well, it makes your jawline look really good.” Her head tilted, pressing her lips to the complimented region. “And your neck …” Her fingers slid lower, resting over my groin as her mouth moved to my throat.

I groaned, closing my eyes to the wetness of her tongue and the gentle rubbing of her hand. “For the record, I wasn’t suggesting that you literally stroke my ego.”

“Should I stop then?” Her question was muffled against my neck, her fingers stopping to unzip my fly.

I shook my head. “Fuck no.”

 

***

 

I’d say I’ve been a very lucky man.

My career took off at an early age. I made a good, honest living doing what I love most. I’ve played with some incredibly talented people, made a lot of friends, and fucked a lot of amazing women. I’ve seen the world and everything in between.

I thought there wasn’t anything more I could see that could impress me. But, in the backseat of the limo, on our way to the restaurant, I watched Tabby reapply her deep-red lipstick, and all of those things I’d seen—the Grand Canyon, the Northern Lights, Stonehenge, the pyramids … Suddenly, they didn’t matter. They paled in comparison, mere postcard prints in my memory, someone else’s photo album, and this …

This was what it was like to be in awe.

“That was probably the dirtiest thing I’ve ever done,” she confessed, glancing at me before coating her bottom lip.

“Oh, come on. People have done way dirtier things in the back of limos,” I teased, unable to take my eyes from her lips. Her warm, wet mouth.

“People meaning you?” she asked, accusing and smiling, as she capped her lipstick and stuffed it in her bag.

With an embarrassed smirk, I tipped my head toward her. “I don’t want to talk about that shit tonight, okay?” My voice was gruff and sincere.

“Why not? You never have a problem talking.”

“Yeah, but talking about it also requires thinking about it,” I explained, reaching to her lap and threading my fingers between hers, “and the only woman I want to think about right now is you.”

The only woman I ever want to think about … is you.

She lifted her eyes to mine. The limo slowed to a halt, the city lights reflected in the emerald greens, and she shook her head in what could’ve been a protest.

“Sebastian, I need to tell—”

“Excuse me, sir,” the driver spoke through the intercom. “We’ve arrived.”

“Awesome,” I replied, and he got out of the car to open our door.

I got out first, then held my hand out to Tabby, helping her from the car and onto the sidewalk. I slipped the driver a fifty and wished him a good night, and Tabby asked if he was meeting us later, after dinner.

“Nah, we’re not going back to my house tonight,” I told her, waggling my brows and leading her inside and to the elevator.

 

***

 

“Ho-ly shit,” Devin uttered in awe.

He stood from the table the moment he spotted us approaching. I towed Tabby along with me to greet him, but the minute I was within hugging distance, I released her and threw my arms around my friend. I clapped his back and realized all at once just how much I’d missed him in the months we’d been apart.

Kylie was standing behind him, her purple hair hanging in loose tendrils, framing her face. I let go of Devin, pushing him aside, and spread my arms. “Get the hell over here, Ky.”

“You can’t demand hugs and not tell me what the hell you did to your hair,” she demanded, pointing at my head. “Babe, did you even notice what he did? What the fuck!”

Devin’s hands were in my hair immediately, messing it all up as he shook his head. “What happened, man? You become a dad and so you get a dad haircut?”

I chuckled, pulling out of his grasp and smoothing my hair back. “Something like that,” and Kylie’s accusatory expression softened as she raised her arms up, stepping around her husband so I could wrap my arms around her waist. “I’ve missed the fuck out of you guys, you have no idea.”

“Yeah, I think we know,” she said softly, tightening her arms around my neck. “I like the look, by the way. You can stop stealing my hair ties now.”

Reluctantly letting go, I stepped back and outstretched an arm to Tabby, waiting patiently behind me. As she moved forward, my hand laid against the small of her back, and I said, “Guys, this is Tabby. Tabby, Devin and Kylie.”

“Hello,” Tabby greeted them, stepping forward with polite handshakes, but Kylie wasn’t having any of that. She wrapped her arms around Tabby in a tight hug. Devin’s eyes met mine, as he gave his brows a little jump as his lips curled into an approving smile.

“We’ve been hearing so much about you,” Kylie told Tabby, stepping back to grip her shoulders. “And can I just say, I freakin’ love your dress?”

“Thank you,” Tabby replied. “And I hope you’ve only heard good things, although knowing this guy …”

Devin tipped his head to her. “They’ve been good things … mostly.”

Rolling her eyes toward me with a playful groan, she said, “You’re the famous Devin O’Leary. My nephew Greyson is a big fan.”

Looking to me and then back at her, he asked, “He is? Why didn’t you tell me that?”

I laughed. “Yeah. That’s why I stuffed him in the basement. I can only hear so much of your fucking voice.”

We sat—Devin next to me and across from his wife, me across from Tabby—and perused the menu in a comfortable silence before embarking in rousing conversation without a lull in sight. Tabby and Kylie got along better than I ever expected, while Devin and I talked shop and the upcoming tour. They told me how Livy was doing, about the new home studio Devin was putting into their garage, and about how Richard and Grace, Kylie’s parents, were doing. They asked me about Greyson—what he was like, how things were going—and if he’d be accompanying me on the tour.

“Well,” I began, grimacing at the question, “he’s got school and I’m not sure how that would work with touring.”

Tabby twisted her cloth napkin, avoiding my gaze. “He’s better with you though, Sebastian.”

“What?” I asked, my tone harder than intended, and Devin and Kylie shot a glance toward each other.

“Baby, you wanna go to the bar with me?” Devin asked Ky, and before she could answer the question, he stood and took her hand, leading her from the table.

“I was thinking about it earlier, and maybe now isn’t the best time to bring it up, but he’s doing really well at your house. You’re doing well for each other, I think, and I mean, I don’t know what exactly you would do about his schooling, but I really think he should stay with you,” Tabby dropped the bomb before taking another sip of wine.

I chewed my bottom lip, tightening the hand around my fork, before saying, “He’s known me for a couple of months, Tabby, and you expect him to just jump into my lap and be okay with hardly seeing you?”

“Isn’t that exactly what’s happening right now, though?” She finally looked at me. “I’m not mad about it, Sebastian. I’m just … I’m just acknowledging that I’m not exactly needed at this point. He belongs in your world. He fits so much better there than in mine, and—”

“So, what does that mean? He sees you for, what? Christmas? His birthday?” I hated the anger bubbling through my veins. I hated this, when all I had wanted was a good night, to show her that we could easily, and happily, share one world. Together.

And maybe that Greyson wasn’t just good with me, but with both of us.

“I’m not saying that infrequently, but …” She shrugged, a rueful smile in her gaze. “I was never meant to have kids, Sebastian. That’s becoming more and more obvious to me. For a second today, when I walked into your house, I thought I had failed my sister by not being what Greyson needed, but then I remembered I’m the reason he’s with you. This never would’ve happened if I hadn’t found your letters in her closet. That was my role in this, it’s what made me important, but I think I can step back now and let you guys do what you need to do.”

“Tabby.” I shook my head, tapping the base of my wine glass. “You are so much more important than you realize.”

“To Greyson?”

My hand reached across the table to lay over hers. “What do you think?”

She smiled and took a metaphorical step back. “I think we should save the difficult, annoying conversations for another night, because this wine is going straight to my head and making me emotional.”

With a challenging jump of my brows, I replied, “Maybe I want you to get emotional.”

In the flickering glow of candlelight, and against a backdrop of hypnotically serene music, she watched me. Studying my face with a tilt of her head. “You’re making this more difficult for me, you know that?”

My hand tightened around hers. “Maybe that’s the idea.”