“Thanks for walking with me, Jovie,” I say as we step off Main Street toward Third.

Jovie scoffs as she pauses to slowly roll the stroller up onto the sidewalk. “Are you kidding? You did me a favor. Five months since I’ve had this kid and I still can’t figure out the car seat.”

I smile. “They aren’t really my area of expertise, either.”

“Car shit is Will’s area. Mine is toys.” She turns her head up and takes a deep breath of fresh air. “Besides, the weather is beautiful today. I don’t mind the walk at all.”

She looks at me, her eyes partially falling on my hat and gloves. I know she wants to ask. I would ask, too, if my friend wore thick, winter clothing at the end of June.

But she doesn’t ask. We continue down Third Street and I push my sunglasses a little higher up my nose to block out the harsh, summer sunlight.

“And we’re here!”

Jovie comes to a stop in front of a big, blue house. Four cars line the driveway and I bite my lip in thought.

“Hey, Jove, how many people are in your sister-in-law’s book club?” I ask.

“Uh...” She bends down and picks up Joanne from the stroller. “Five or six? Not everybody makes it sometimes. There will be plenty of room for you, I promise. Can you push the stroller to the door for me?”

“Sure.”

I grip the handle and give it a little push to follow her up, slowly feeling a smile inch up my cheek. I spent the last few hours talking myself into this, trying to convince myself that I wasn’t ready for it, but it was all just bullshit. Little parties, social gatherings, mingling. This is what I was known for. What I lived for. It feels nice to be invited somewhere again, to get out of the house for a few hours. Away from my library and my kitchen…

And Nate.

Yeah. He’s been on my mind, too.

I kissed another man. On my kitchen table.

And I liked it so much I couldn’t even look Curtis in the eye this morning.

Not that he noticed, of course…

Jovie shifts her baby a little higher up her hip and knocks twice on the front door. After a few moments, a tall, brown-haired woman in dark pink scrub bottoms and a black t-shirt opens the door and instantly gushes over little Joanne.

“There’s my niece!” she coos, reaching out to pinch the baby’s cheeks.

“Hey, Sara,” Jovie says. “I’m here, too.”

Sara straightens up. “Oh. Hi, Jovie.”

Jovie glances back at me and rolls her eyes. I chuckle as I slide off my sunglasses and Sara looks at me, her mouth instantly dropping open.

“Kimber!” she says. “Oh, wow...”

I wave a hand. “Hi, Sara.”

“I told you I was bringing a plus-one,” Jovie says.

Sara blinks at me. “Well, yeah, but I didn’t realize...” She clears her throat and takes a step back. “Please, come in.”

Jovie passes through the doorway and I push the stroller in front of me. Sara helps pull it inside and she sets it off to the right of the doorway by the stairs.

“It’s good to see you,” she says to me, her gaze locking on my left eye with trained, bedside manner precision.

I recognize it from the few weeks I spent in the hospital. Every nurse looked at me with that same forced smile trying to mask the pity in their voices.

“Thanks,” I say. “It’s good to see you, too.”

“No, really. I mean that.” She gives my arm a friendly pinch. “We think about you often.”

I nod, not really sure how to respond to it. “It’s great to be here. Jovie says some nice things about your group.”

“Eh, it’s just a fun excuse to get together and drink wine in the AM, mostly.” She rests a hand on the side of her mouth. “Don’t tell my husband,” she jokes.

I chuckle. “All right.”

She hooks my arm and leads me toward the voices in the living room. “Speaking of which, how is Curtis? We’ve barely seen or heard from either of you since...” She realizes her mistakes. “Well, you know.”

“It’s okay,” I say, touching her hand. “He’s great. Working non-stop—”

“Oh, my god! Kimber?!”

I stiffen as three women leap off the couch and bolt toward me.

With a blink, I retreat into the happy place deep in my mind somewhere. I let myself run on autopilot on the outside, greeting each one of them with hugs and smiles.

Hi, Natalie. How are you, Claudia?

Even Cindy Sumner, whom I haven’t spoken to since high school, but the photos of her perfect, little life in her mother’s office stand out in my memory.

I grin and bear it. This was who I used to be, right? I lived for this, right?

“Okay, already!” Jovie shoves through the crowd and takes my hand. “Give the poor woman some space, please.”

She leads me across the room toward a loveseat in the corner on the opposite end away from the couch.

I look at her as we sit down, giving her a silent thank you and she just rolls her eyes in that Jovie way while expertly balancing her daughter on her lap.

My savior, Jovie Ross.

Well, that’s a strange thought.

“Okay, so...” Sara sits down in an armchair while the other girls slump back onto the couch. “What did we think of To Bed With You?”

Natalie snorts. “Meh. Boring. Let’s talk about the hoedown!”

I freeze in place.

“We can talk party planning committee matters at the party planning committee meeting on Thursday, Natalie,” Sara says.

“But I’m really excited for it this year—”

Jovie nudges my leg and leans in. “And this is the part of the book club meeting where it devolves into a discussion about party planning because all of us are also on Clover’s party planning committee.”

I nod, trying to catch my breath. “Uh-huh.”

“Sara will steer us back on-course in a few minutes. Just gotta wait it out.”

“What do you mean Mr. Warner isn’t letting us paint the barn this year?” Sara asks, her voice rising.

Jovie squints. “Or not.”

Claudia shrugs. “He said he just had the inside re-done and he doesn’t want us broads screwing it up — his words, not mine.”

Sara’s jaw drops. “Well, what are we gonna do?”

“We can hang some posters? Or signs!” Natalie says. “I live for signage.”

Sara considers it. “We’ll have to do something. We can’t throw a hoedown in a bare barn.” She looks at Claudia. “Will your father-in-law let us hang things, at least?”

Claudia nods. “I’m pretty sure, yeah.”

“Okay, well...” Sara bites her cheek. “Who do we know that paints?”

Jovie looks at me. I say nothing. Thankfully, neither does she.

I focus on my breath. I lock my eyes on the couch cushions or the clock on the wall or the wine glass in front of me. I try to think of anything but Clover’s annual Fourth of July hoedown.

The last time I went to one, I went in with a smiling, happy face.

And I came out like this.