“Are your hours flexible?” Teo looked up from his phone where Mrs. Park’s résumé stared up at him. She had all the right qualifications, and Akoni hadn’t run to hide behind the couch when she came in.

“You bet.” Mrs. Park smiled, creating several parentheses around her lips. She wore a long, light-pink T-shirt with the Texas Titans logo on the front and a pair of darker pink slacks. Her running shoes were white. “My husband passed a couple years ago, and my son lives out of state. I can schedule my visits during the off-season.” She tucked both sides of her short blond hair behind her ears.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” Teo nudged Cedar, who was staring at her phone.

She jerked in her seat. “Huh?”

Teo tipped his head towards Mrs. Park.

“Oh—I’m sorry.” Cedar clicked her screen off. “How do you feel about a variable schedule?”

Teo waved off Mrs. Park, who looked like she was about to launch herself into the same speech he’d already heard. He’d had enough and got to his feet. “Thank you for your time. We’ll be in touch.” He escorted her to the front door and made sure she was headed down the street before going back inside. He found Cedar balancing Akoni on her hip while she scrolled through emails on her phone. She’d come dressed the part of an executive nanny today with her long, flowing skirt and button-up blouse. The large belt around her middle accentuated her curves, and her hair was in a messy bun that looked just right.

He reached for his son, hoping to steal a quick kiss. Cedar handed Akoni over without making eye contact.

Teo checked his hold as his hands began to shake. The familiar feeling of being dismissed crept over him. Cedar wasn’t freezing him out to spite him, but the chill was just as strong.

He set Akoni in the ball pit. A few steps and shots of courage later, he slipped his arms around Cedar from behind. “Hello in there,” he murmured in her ear before kissing her neck.

Cedar leaned into him. Her phone went to her side and her head tipped back to allow him better access—a fact he would make good use of. “Hmmm, mmm,” she hummed.

He kissed her earlobe and she gasped. Teo smiled against her sweet, pineapple-smelling skin. He splayed his fingers across her belly, loving the way she fit against him.

Cedar’s phone signaled a text, and she jolted and hurried to read the message. The warmth between them cooled as quickly as fresh muffins on a granite countertop.

Teo released her and ran his hands through his hair. “You’re like a big storm cloud brewing.”

Cedar looked over her shoulder, her thumbs over the keyboard. He made sure they made eye contact. That didn’t happen all that often these days. Her eyes were still ocean blue with green waves in them. Still beautiful.

“What’s wrong?” Her phone went back to her side.

Teo scratched the back of his neck. There were so many things he wanted to say, like, Can you put your phone away long enough to look at me? But he wasn’t looking to start a fight. He’d had enough fights to last a lifetime. “I miss you.”

She lifted her arms slightly. “I’m right here.”

“No.” He picked up her hand and tapped the phone. “You’re right here.”

Cedar smiled softly. “I’m sorry. The permit came through right before the interview, and I have thirty people that need the green light. This is exciting.” She put her arms around his middle.

“What about the interview?”

She shrugged. “I liked her.”

“What about her husband?” Teo asked, testing. It was a dirty, rotten thing to do, but he was pretty sure Cedar wasn’t paying attention, and he wanted her informed opinion.

“He sounded nice,” she hedged.

Teo gritted his teeth. “He’s dead.”

Cedar chewed her bottom lip. “I must have missed that.”

“You’re missing everything lately.”

Cedar nodded. “I know it’s crazy right now, but things are going to get better. I can do this.” Her arms tightened around him.

There were no such promises from Amy, and yet Teo had a hard time believing she meant what she said. How could she promise that? She had no frame of reference, no idea how busy a season was for him. He didn’t necessarily need or want a woman at home, barefoot and pregnant and at his beck and call. He liked Cedar’s drive, the fact that she didn’t need him but wanted him in her life. At least, he’d thought she wanted him. He wasn’t so sure of that anymore. And he couldn’t go into the season with all these questions.

People implied that his less than stellar performance at the end of last season was because of Amy’s health. They’d never come right out and said it was a surprise that she’d died, and the media assumed she’d struggled with blood clots for a while. He let people believe what they wanted, too wrapped up in learning how to be a father to care what was said. This season was supposed to be different. He owed it to his team, the fans, and himself and Akoni to be settled before football took over their lives.

Teo shook his head. “I can’t do this again, Cedar.”

“Do what?”

“I can’t be pushed aside or put on a shelf. I don’t want to be second-string to your job.”

Cedar lifted both eyebrows. “Says the man about to give his life over to football.”

“What does that mean?”

Cedar dropped her arms and stepped away. “Nothing. Never mind.”

Teo dodged around her. “Tell me.”

She pressed her lips flat. “From the get-go, this whole arrangement was about you and what you needed. You need a nanny; you need to meet with Elijah; you need to shoot a commercial; you need to play football. You. You. You. What did you think I’d do? Drop my life and pick up yours?”

That wasn’t at all accurate. He’d been there for her. “I—”

Cedar folded her arms over her chest. “I didn’t mean all that. I’m stressed and I shouldn’t take it out on you.”

Teo plowed ahead. “I thought we gelled. I fell for you, Cedar.”

“I fell for you, too.” Cedar’s body lost some of the edge, but when he reached for her, she leaned away. “There’s more here to consider than just a few kisses. Are we—either of us—in a place to make a commitment?”

Teo’s hands went cold. His heart soon followed. “If you have to ask the question, then the answer is no.”

Her mouth opened and closed. “I guess … I’ll … go?” Her eyebrows came together as if she was trying to figure out what she’d just said. She wandered around the living room, picking up her purse and laptop and the sweater thing she’d folded over the chair a couple weeks ago. He’d left it there, liked seeing something that belonged to her when she wasn’t there.

She stopped in the middle of the room and did a slow circle. With a sudden burst of energy, she ran to Akoni in the ball pit and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Her eyes dropped shut, the lids fluttering.

Teo longed to pull her close and run his hands down her silky hair, to stop her from leaving. He wanted to blame this all on Amy, to say that she’d messed him up and he was worried and sick and needed validation because he was insecure in a relationship. He couldn’t get the words to form. He knew what he wanted out of love and marriage. If being married to Amy had taught him anything, it was what he didn’t want. And this felt very much like what he didn’t want.

The big difference was the sorrow in Cedar’s blue-green eyes. There had never been sorrow on Amy’s part. Cedar was bent over trying to carry what she felt—what he was causing.

She bolted for the door. Teo let her go, knowing the whole time that when she’d picked up her belongings, she’d also taken his heart.