I knew something was wrong the moment he said to meet him at our place. My heart hasn’t stopped racing since I received his text 30 minutes ago.
Please God, whatever he’s going to tell me, please don’t let it be bad.
As I get to the beach I take my flip-flops off and start walking across the sand to where I can see a fire being started in the distance. Lifting my long white maxi dress so it doesn’t drag, I walk closer to the shore to wet my feet and continue my walk down the beach towards the man I am secretly in love with, my best friend, Jaxson.
I met Jaxson Reid when I moved to Sunset Bay, South Carolina, just a little over 2 years ago. My mother had just passed away from cancer when I came to her home town to live with my Grams. It amazed me how fast I fell in love with this town and how quickly I made some of the best friends I’ll ever have. I don’t know what I would have done without them, especially Jaxson.
I smile to myself when I think back to the first time I saw him. Kayla and I had been sitting outside the ice cream shop on a sweltering hot summer afternoon when he came riding in on his motorcycle.
“Well it looks like today is your lucky day, you’re finally going to get to see the famous Jaxson Reid.” Kayla’s voice fades away as I watch him park across the lot, my gaze becoming captivated by the mysterious bad boy I’ve heard so much about. He’s dressed in loose dark faded jeans that have a few holes in them and a snug black t-shirt that molds to his lean muscular frame in all the right places. My eyes are drawn to the erotic display of sexy tribal tattoos that are woven up his arms, getting cut off by the sleeves of his t-shirt, which makes me want to go rip it off so I can see where they end. When he removes his helmet his fierce gaze crashes directly with mine and sucks the air right out of my lungs. Whoa! Thick dark lashes frame intense ice blue eyes, his olive colored complexion is complimented by shaggy dark brown hair that’s messed over his ears and hangs into his face. It’s the kind of hair that makes my fingers itch to run through it just to see if it feels as soft as it looks. His jaw is strong and graced with a sexy 5 o’clock shadow. I’ve heard a lot about Jaxson since moving here, all the girls talked about him as if he were a god and now I know why. I have never laid eyes on anyone as beautiful as him. Suddenly he unleashes a sexy smirk, one that has me realizing he’s watching me openly ogle him. My face flushes with embarrassment and I quickly look away, only to the same knowing smirk from Kayla.
“I know, right? If sex could walk he would be it. Don’t feel bad you’re not the only one who drools around him. Most do, well, except for me. As sexy as he is I have the major hots for his friend Cooper. I have big plans for that boy, just you wait.”
The funny thing is, Kayla really did have plans for him. They are still dating after a year.
Kayla filled me in on everything she knew about Jaxson. He was 2 years older than my 16 and he had just graduated before summer. I was disappointed knowing I wouldn’t see him around school.
“He lives with Cooper’s family right now but I heard they found an apartment that they’re moving into this summer,” Kayla explains.
“What about his parents?”
“His mom left when he was a kid, his dad about 2 years ago. I don’t know where, he was a real asshole- the town drunk.”
Unfortunately I never got to meet Jaxson that day, he was there meeting Melissa Carmicheal. My anger spikes just thinking her name; she’s always been such a bitch to me, especially after I became close with Jaxson. I don’t want to think what they did together after they left. Although, that is the story of my life the last 2 years: watching Jaxson with random girls. He does not do relationships, in his language, he only ‘fucks’. I know a lot of his way of thinking is because of how he was raised. I have a sneaking suspicion his mom leaving has something to do with it too.
The night I did finally get to meet Jaxson, well… it was the scariest night of my life. It was two weeks after seeing him at the ice cream shop. I had snuck out my bedroom window after Grams went to sleep and walked to the cemetery to see my mom. I sat at her grave and talked to her, something I always found comforting, I still do. I told her how scared I was to be starting a new school, worried people weren’t going to like me and more than anything I told her how much I missed her which made me break down. My mother was my best friend. The pain I felt when she passed hadn’t faded and I’d wondered if it ever would.
I don’t remember how long I cried before I heard some rustling and laughing. I turned around and found two guys walking up behind me. They were big, their builds reminding me of linebackers. By looking at them I had guessed they were a couple years older than me. They smiled at me dangerously as they approached; it was a smile that caused my stomach to fill with dread and my heart to pound in fear. I stood up quickly, my shaking legs barely able to hold me up…
“Well aren’t you a pretty little thing. Isn’t she Jase?”
Suddenly feeling exposed in my yoga tank and shorts, I fold my cardigan over to cover my breasts that they’re openly staring at; this only seems to amuse them.
“Ya, she’s real pretty, I’m glad we stumbled upon her.”
I ignore them and start forward when the one referred to as Jase walks out in front of me, blocking my way. I swallow nervously and attempt to calm my pounding heart while figuring out how I was going to get out of this mess. I know I won’t be able to outrun them but if I could just make it to the street surely someone would hear me scream for help.
Deciding I have no other choice I try and run for it. It was exactly what they were anticipating. I don’t make it far before the other one grabs my hair and pulls me back against him. He claps his hand around my mouth, muffling my screams.
“You stupid bitch. Shut the fuck up!” I kick and fight with every bit of strength I possess, but none of it makes a difference, he’s too strong.
He starts dragging me back to my mom’s grave while his friend Jase stands in front, watching us with a sickening expression. When he starts rubbing his crotch I close my eyes and try to swallow the bile that’s rising in my throat.
“Come on, fucking help me man, this bitch is squirmy.”
Jase snaps to attention and grabs my kicking legs to help carry me back. They drop me roughly on my mom’s grave, knocking the breath from my lungs. The one behind me pins my arms above my head while Jase sits on my legs. Jase wraps a hand around my throat then leans in with a malicious smile: “I’m gonna fuck you right here on your mother’s grave, you little bitch.”
For the first time since they showed up I feel something other than fear. I’m so angry at the way he spats my mother’s name that I spit in his face.
He looks at me in shock and, to be honest, so am I. “You’re a brave little whore,” he raises his hand and slaps me across my face. The metallic taste of blood fills my mouth and black spots dance in my vision. “After I’m done fucking you, my buddy is gonna fuck you, and after he’s done I think we’re gonna have to beat some manners into you bitch.”
His hands start tearing at my tank top, ripping my strap. “No! Please don’t do this, please,” I plead, but then I quickly become quiet when I realize he enjoys my begging. When he starts to undo his belt I close my eyes and start to pray. It’s the first time I have prayed since my mom died. I’m praying so hard that I don’t realize when my legs are suddenly free. Soon though I clue in to the shouting and grunts that are happening. Opening my eyes I look to the left to see Jase on the ground with another guy on top of him, beating the ever livin crap out of him. Finally the guy holding my arms lets go and runs to help his buddy.
“Watch out!” I scream warning the mystery guy. He turns around just in time to land a solid right hook which causes my attacker to hit the ground unconscious.
Whoa, the guy packs a serious punch. When he fully stands and looks at me I realize that mystery guy is none other than the town’s local bad boy, Jaxson Reid. Jaxson’s expression is so full of rage that my body spikes again with fear. As he starts towards me I shirk away, against my mother’s headstone. He slows down realizing I’m scared of him and cautiously approaches me.
“It’s alright, I’m not going to hurt you. Are you ok? Shit! Never mind, that was a dumb fucking question! Everything is going to be ok. I’m gonna call the police now.”
After he calls the police he sits a little distance away and waits with me. Awkward silence surrounds us. I want to say something, to say thank you, but I can’t seem to form any words.
He catches me off guard when he leans over and gently brushes his fingers across my bruised cheek. “Sorry I didn’t make it in time before this happened.”
His tenderness surprises me. I was told Jaxson was dangerous and he was someone you didn’t want to screw with. After seeing what he just did to my two attackers I can see why.
I swallow nervously, “Don’t be sorry. Thank you for coming when you did, because if you hadn’t, well… you know what was about to happen.”
It all comes rushing back to me. Wrapping my arms around my legs I bury my face in my knees and start sobbing. Jaxson moves a little closer to me and pats my shoulder awkwardly, “It’s over, everything is going to be ok now.” I can tell he’s uncomfortable trying to console me, not knowing what to say. “Listen I know now is not the time to be a dick, but what the hell are you doing at a graveyard late at night by yourself?”
“I was visiting my mother. I didn’t think coming here would almost get me raped,” I snap, then instantly feel bad, his question is legitimate. “I’m sorry, you’re right it was stupid. I won’t be doing it again, at least not in the middle of the night.”
“I don’t recognize those assholes. I’m assuming they were driving through, maybe back to Charleston,” he shrugs, “either way, probably a good idea if you come during daylight.”
“I will,” I say quietly.
Then he sticks out his battered hand to me, “I’m Jaxson Reid.”
I put my shaking one in his: “Julia. Julia Sinclair.”
I pull myself back to the present and try to shake the memory. What had started out to be one of the most awful nights of my life turned out to be one of the best. Because the sexy, dark and mysterious bad boy I was warned to steer clear of became my best friend. Since that night Jaxson has taken care of me, protected me. He brought me back from the brink of pain and heartbreak after losing my mother. He reminded me what is was like to be happy again.
Jaxson is very misperceived by people, mainly due to the reputation of his father. Grams once told me his father was a terrible man and Jaxson was better off without him. That’s all she had said but I didn’t need her to elaborate because I could tell just how deeply his father had hurt him. At times I could see flashes of it when, for that brief moment, his guard slipped and he didn’t realize anyone was looking. I know any physical scars that he bared are incomparable to the ones that were left on his heart.
Don’t get me wrong, Jaxson has earned some of his reputation. He can be arrogant, aggressive and angry. He’s guarded and damaged yet he’s also beautiful, strong and honorable. Our friendship surprised a lot of people because, other than Cooper, Jaxson never befriended anyone else and he definitely didn’t have any friends that were girls. But Jaxson and I formed a bond, one that was so strong it was unbreakable. I unconditionally and irrevocably loved every damaged part of him. And for the boy, who didn’t believe in love, he would always and forever have mine.
I come up to Jaxson sitting by the fire, staring into the bright flames, lost in thought. I watch him a moment, his troubled expression glowing from the firelight.
When he finally realizes I’m here he looks up at me and his face transforms, his harsh expression softens and he looks almost relieved to see me. Sometimes when he looks at me like this I think maybe he does love me the way I love him? But then whenever I get that silly thought I shove it away and remember whom I’m talking about.
He gives me his usual sexy smirk as he stands and walks over to me, “Hey Jules,” he says leaning down to kiss my forehead. For whatever reason Jaxson has kissed my forehead from the moment we became friends. It’s something that he’s reserved just for me and I savor the intimate contact with him. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me against his hard body.
“Hey Jax,” I wrap my arms around his waist and breathe in his delicious scent.
Stepping back Jaxson takes my hand and leads me to sit next to him by the fire. His expression causes my heart rate to spike again and I know whatever he’s going to tell me it’s going to be bad.
Leaning back against the log behind us I wrap both my arms around one of his and lean into him, needing his warmth.
“You cold Jules?”
Although the evenings here are warm in July it’s always a little cooler by the water. But the chill I have now has nothing to do with the breeze from the ocean and everything to do with the dread that’s rushing through my system.
“I’m ok,” I say quietly, then I look at him nervously, “you’re going to tell me something bad aren’t you?”
He’s silent for a moment but his expression says it all. He lets out a heavy breath, “It’ll be alright Jules, it’s not that bad.” There’s sadness in his expression but also some excitement, “I’m leaving town. I have decided to enlist in the Navy, I want to be a Seal.”
My heart plummets as we stare at each other silently for a moment, “Ok, and what does this mean exactly? Where would you go? Don’t you have to qualify first before you can even be accepted?”
He clears his throat, “I have already been accepted. I had to do some written exams and evaluations but I passed. I actually scored really high on them. I’m going to their training facility in Coronado, California.”
“What do you mean you have already been accepted? Just how long have you thought about this?”
He clears his throat cautiously, “I started the process about 6 months ago Jules.”
I stare at him in shock, “What!? Six months? You have known about this for 6 months and never said anything to me?” Hurt strikes deep in my chest replacing my shock, “I can’t believe you kept this from me.”
“Shit. I know, I’m sorry Jules. I didn’t want to upset you if I wasn’t going to make it and pass the exams,” there’s a moment of silence between us before he continues, “I need to do this Julia. I need to get out of this fucking town, I don’t belong here. I had always planned on leaving one day, I just didn’t know it would be for the Navy. The only thing that has been keeping me here this long has been you, and well, maybe Coop too.”
I stare at him dumbfounded, “How can you say you don’t belong here Jaxson? You grew up here for heaven sakes.”
“That’s exactly my point Julia, everyone knows my shit. They know what I come from. Don’t tell me you don’t see how many people look down their fucking noses at me, especially when we’re together. Every one of them wonders what sweet little Margaret Sinclair’s granddaughter is doing being friends with a fuck-up like me.”
“I know some people are stuck-up in this town but I’m sure it doesn’t happen as much as you think it does. Please don’t do this! Don’t leave because you think you need to prove yourself.” The thought of him leaving and not being able to see him everyday kills a small part of me.
“I’m not doing this to prove something to them Julia. I don’t give a fuck what they think of me, I’m doing this for myself. I think I’ve found something that I’m going to be really good at. I did so well on the evaluation that the superior officers are excited to meet me.”
“Can’t you choose something else? Something that isn’t so dangerous? How about being a mechanic? Or owning your own motorcycle shop, you would be so good at that and that would be fun!” I try to sound upbeat at the last part, hoping he takes the bait, but he doesn’t.
He watches me with amusement and I can tell he’s holding back a laugh.
I sigh in defeat, “It was worth a try.”
He chuckles and puts his arm around me. When he looks down at me his expression becomes serious again, “I have a chance to do something good with my life. I can’t give this up. Tell me you understand,” he reaches out and brushes a piece of hair out of my face.
“I’m trying, it’s just hard. I don’t want to lose you,” my voices cracks as I struggle to hold in my pain.
He leans his forehead against mine, “You won’t lose me Jules, we’ll still see each other, obviously not as much as we do now, but we’ll work something out.”
“When do you leave?” I whisper sadly. He lets go and looks wearily at me. “Jaxson?” I ask, feeling panicked again.
He clears his throat, “Saturday morning, I take the ferry to Charleston and fly out from there.”
“What? This Saturday- as in three days from now!”
“I know, I’m sorry. I just found out yesterday. They don’t give you much time.” We sit in silence for a few minutes then he turns to me and cups my cheek, “Are we ok?”
We are ok, I am not, but I don’t tell him that. Instead I cover his hand with mine and nod because my throat is too tight to speak.
“Listen, I have a lot to get done before I leave but how about we go out Friday? We can grab supper and then come hang out here for the night.”
“Sure, that sounds good. Anyways I better get home. I am later than what I told Grams I would be and I don’t want her to worry.”
And I really don’t want to completely lose it in front of you.
“Alright, come on, I’ll walk you to your car.”
Crap! Now it’s my turn to be nervous, “Um, I didn’t drive here, I walked.”
He tenses and glares at me, “Julia! What the fuck are you thinking!? You know better.”
“Calm down! It was a beautiful night and I wanted to walk. It’s not that far, sheesh!”
“I don’t give a shit! You know not to ever walk at night by yourself!” He lets out a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair, “Let’s go, I’ll take you home.”
“Jaxson, I want to walk and besides I don’t have my helmet and I’m wearing a dress.”
“Julia I don’t care if you’re wearing a fucking dress. Either I drive you back or I follow you home, it’s up to you.”
I know there is no sense in arguing when he gets like this so I just roll my eyes and agree.
When we get to his bike he grabs his helmet and puts it on for me, making sure the strap is tight. He gets on and starts the bike looking over at me impatiently. Jeez, he can be grumpy. I hike my dress up to my thighs. Not too indecently, but enough to get on. I have ridden on this bike a thousand times before so I know the ropes. To be honest one of my favorite things to do is ride with Jaxson. I love getting to be so close to him. I wrap my arms around his waist and instantly warm from his body heat. When he takes off I turn my face to the side and rest my head on his back and try not to think that he’s going to be leaving in just three days.
I wonder if Kayla knew. I’m sure Coop has known the whole time but I would like to think that if Kayla knew she would have told me.
Before too long we are at my house and I can tell Grams has gone to bed because all the lights are off. As Jaxson comes to a stop I take the helmet off and climb off the back, instantly missing his warmth. I hand him back his helmet and try not to look at him, knowing I’ll lose it if I do. So giving him a small wave I start to walk away. Before I get too far Jaxson grabs my wrist stopping me and pulls me to him, wrapping me in his arms. Darn! So much for not losing it in front of him. I wrap my arms around him and turn my face in the crook of his neck.
“I’m going to miss you so much,” I sob in his neck.
“I’m going to miss you too Jules. It’s going to be ok though, you’ll see.”
He holds me while I cry for a few minutes. He leans back and rests his forehead on mine. “I’ll pick you up at 6 on Friday, ok?”
I give him a nod and a small smile because I can’t speak. He lets me go and as I walk into the house I decide that I can’t let him go without him knowing how much I love him.
I watch her walk into the house, before I start back up my bike and take off. Well that fucking sucked… I hate that she’s hurting because of me. I know I’m doing the right thing though, not just for me but for her too.
She thinks I don’t know about the shit she gets from the people in this town for being friends with me, but I do. If it’s not the rich assholes who think they’re too good for people like me, then it’s the jealous bitches who hate the fact that I’m close with Julia and not them. They don’t get that she’s different, she always has been.
I’ll never forget the first time I laid eyes on her. I had heard about the ‘new girl’, all the guys talked about how hot she was and even placed bets on who was gonna fuck her first. When I heard she was at the ice cream shop with Kayla I changed my plans and had Melissa meet me there instead. I just had to get a look at the new girl everyone was talking about. When I rode in I spotted her and Kayla sitting outside at one of the tables with their ice creams. I parked across the lot then took my helmet off to get a good look at her. It was like a jolt of electricity shot through my body and straight to my dick.
It was a complete shock to my system… Julia was not ‘hot’, she was fucking beautiful.
Her innocent gaze held me captive. Her eyes, an exotic blue-green color that hid behind long dark lashes, shone of beauty and innocence. Right there I knew this girl was not for me but I couldn’t stop myself from taking in the rest of her. She had long brown hair that fell past her bare shoulders and laid against the best looking tits I’d ever seen; and I’ve seen a lot. Her short yellow sun dress enhanced her smooth olive skin, and although there was nothing skimpy or revealing about her dress it still gave you a glimpse of a small lithe body, a body that was meant to be wrapped around a guy.
She had stared back at me with appreciation, something that I was used to getting. Yet she caused a strange sensation in my chest- something I’d never felt before and I fucking hated it. I learned at a young age that feelings and emotions were dangerous, they only made you weak.
So I gave myself a mental slap and acknowledged her appreciation with a cocky smirk, which completely embarrassed her. When Melissa got on the back of my bike I took off and fucked her all night, trying to get the new girl out of my head… it didn’t work.
Two weeks later I walked out of Big Mike’s gym and heard a terrified scream from the graveyard across the street. A white hot rage constricts my chest, like always when I think about those fucking perverts on top of her, holding her down. Little did I know that night would change my life forever. The girl I had tried so hard to forget, the one I tried to stay away from, became my best friend. I knew she would be better off without me but I couldn’t stop myself from getting to know her. She was different from anyone I’d ever met. I never thought someone so good and genuine existed until her. The more I saw of her the more I became addicted to her. Every time I was around her she would destroy some of the darkness that lurked inside of me. She made the bad shit in my life seem not so terrible. Then, before I knew it, I had fallen for a girl from another world.
As much as I wanted her, and god did I ever fucking want her, I tamped down my feelings and kept my dick in my pants, because I knew I’d never be good enough for her. Unfortunately my father’s blood runs in me and I will not taint her. She deserves everything good, everything that I’m not. Even though I didn’t ever plan to take her I made sure no one else could have her either. I know it was an asshole move, but the thought of her with someone else rips my fucking guts out. So, without her knowledge, I laid claim. I warned every fucking guy to stay away from her, and they all did, because they knew not to fuck with me.
As much as I’m going to miss her, it’s a good thing I’m leaving. I’m finding everyday harder and harder to hold onto my control when I’m around her.
I pull up to the apartment I share with Cooper and feel relief when I don’t see Kayla’s car here. Not that I don’t like her, because I do. But tonight of all nights I don’t feel like hearing the bed pound against the wall from the two of them screwing each other senseless. I let myself into the apartment and see Cooper sitting on the couch, having a beer and watching TV.
He looks up at me with a stupid grin, “Hey Seal Boy.”
Crossing my arms I lean against the counter and glare at him. “Not yet, but when I do pass I’ll put your rookie ass to shame,” I say with a smirk.
He’s gotten so cocky since he finished at the police academy a year ago. Graduated top of the class as he always reminds everyone. He wants to be the sheriff and knows the one we have now will be retiring in a few years. Coop has always been a pretty tough guy, he can hold his own. We spar at the gym some days till we’re almost puking. He’s a good guy and will make a good sheriff one day. If it wasn’t for him and his parents I’m not sure where I’d be.
“No Kayla tonight?”
“No, not tonight. I told her I would meet up with her tomorrow. Figured you might need a beer, or 4. And you better realize how lucky you are that I did this. Because when she finds out I knew about you leaving and never told her, she’s going to give me serious shit.”
I grunt, “Ya well, no need to keep it a secret anymore.” I grab a beer and sit in the chair on the other side of the room.
“So how did Jules take it?”
“Pretty much what I expected. She was hurt and pissed when she found out how long I had been planning it. She’s still talking to me though.” I feel uncomfortable confessing this to Coop, but I continue: “I didn’t want to lose her over this.”
“Did you really think she would stop talking to you over this? This is Julia we’re talking about. That girl is as forgiving as they come.”
He’s right, she is, but I also know what it’s like to have the people that you’d least expect abandon you. But she isn’t one of them and I should have known that. “I need you to keep your promise to me and watch out for her, take care of her. I mean it Coop, if something happens to her because I wasn’t here I will never forgive myself.”
His expression turns serious, “Have I ever broken a promise to you? I told you I’ll watch out for her and I will. Although, I can’t promise you I can control her dating life,” he adds with a smirk.
I glare at him, “Who the hell said anything about dating? She’s going to be too busy with school to date anyone. And why would I care? As long as he’s good to her I don’t give a shit who she dates,” the lie flows easily from my lips. Coop grunts back and gives me a look that says he knows I’m full of shit.
“Ya right. You know Wyatt Jennings is going to move in on her as soon as your ass hits that ferry.”
My stomach fills with dread and I can’t stop my growl, “He better not, he’s already been warned to stay the fuck away from her. If he doesn’t, you better remind him.” Wyatt has wanted Julia since she first moved here. I know what that rich prick is like with girls. I have heard more than enough. I warned him long ago he would not go anywhere near Julia or so help him…
“I’m a local cop now Jaxson. I hate the thought too but I can’t just go beat the shit out of the guy. I’ll do what I can to stop her though and if he hurts her in anyway, well everything I just said to you goes out the window. I’ll take out that rich stuck-up asshole. You know I will. I’ll just need to do it more inconspicuously is all,” he replies with a smirk.
I nod, “I know you will. Thanks for doing this. It makes it a little easier for me to leave knowing you got her back.”
“Jaxson, again this is Julia we’re talking about. You don’t need to thank me. She’s my girls’ best friend, I care about her too. Don’t worry about this. I’ll take care of her. You’re doing the right thing man. I can tell you want this. Go for it and show those fuckers at BUD/S what you’re made of.”