Kindergartners shouldn’t corner the market on naps. Stretching my arms forward like a waking cat, I sigh happily and breathe in a heady scent of fresh laundry with an undertone of cedar. My left cheek scrapes against the rough fabric of my pillow. A hard, bumpy pillow…as if I’ve fallen asleep on a flashlight.

“I didn’t think you would ever wake up,” a deep voice states from above my head.

I scramble into a seated position. I’m lucky I didn’t start a cabin fire from the friction of my retreat. I give a teeny grunt of displeasure as I glance across at Dane. “How long have I been out?" I ask.

“You must’ve been really tired. You’ve been asleep for a couple of hours. Do you feel better?”

“Um…yeah. Thanks.”

He gives me a smile, then tugs at the material over his thighs. “I should’ve moved you off my lap. You have a crease across your cheek from lying on my…”

Lovely. I drooled on his junk during my nap.

“Sorry about ...” I murmur. “Uh, yeah. You have this wet spot where my spit…” I motion toward his jeans.

The corner of his mouth twitches and he suppresses a smile. “Drool anytime. I like it.”

I shake my head and turn to stare at the far wall. “Well, moving past this totally awkward moment…”

Dane rubs his hands together and looks toward the window. Getting to his feet, he strides to the cabin door. “I’m going to grab some things from the truck.”

“I can just say bye now and you can be on your way.” I shove the sofa blanket to the side. “What time is it anyway?”

“I’m not leaving until you leave. You stay snug as a bug, and I’ll be back in a few.” He opens the door without waiting for my response and closes it softly behind him.

I stand and face the closed door. A mirror above the sofa reflects my pale face. I look sick in my pajamas and makeup-free face. He can’t stay because I came here to relax. Except…I did relax this morning. The mark across my cheek caused by Dane’s rigid lap pillow proves it.

I’ll just have to make him leave whether he wants to or not. I spot my cell phone on the table across the room and retrieve it. Once I check the display, I’m frustrated to discover that I still don’t have a signal.

Leo would’ve tried to contact me by now. Sometimes, it’s maddening to have such an overprotective twin. But we’re as connected as any two siblings can be, an extrasensory mojo we have between us. He’ll be feeling crazy due to my stress, as I do anytime he has life problems.

Telling him I’m pregnant will be a load of fun. He’s the planner. The worrier. The responsible one. All the things I need to become.

Instead of worrying any longer about something I can’t control, I walk into the kitchen area and look through the cupboards for something to eat. Yesterday, my stop for supplies was a good move. Maybe I’m more responsible than I give myself credit.

I busy myself making tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Something easy and quick. Something I know Dane enjoys. Not that it matters. He is an uninvited guest.

The door opens and Dane enters with a leather satchel. He toes off his boots and walks to the sofa, depositing what I assume is his work bag. “I have plenty to do while you get some rest.”

I shake my head at him. There’s no way he’s sleeping here tonight. “I’m making some lunch, and then you can be on your way.”

“I’m not going anywhere without you. Lunch smells good.” He comes to stand beside me and opens a cabinet door curiously. “Did you go grocery shopping before you came?”

“Yeah. I’m smart like that.”

“How long did you plan to stay? Are we moving up here?” He picks up a package of chocolate chip cookie mix. “These are my favorite.”

“They’re mine, too. Put those back.”

Dane turns and rests his hip on the counter. Folding his arms over his chest, he nods slowly to himself. What does that mean? “So I feel like you’re not in the mood to talk about the baby.”

I flip the grilled cheese sandwich in the skillet to brown the other side. “You got that right.”

“Can we talk about you moving in with me?”

“Nope. I have a house and have no reason to shack up with you.” I turn the gas heat down on the burner just for something to do.

“I can help with our baby. If we live together, I can arrange my schedule so I work fewer hours. When I get in later than you, I’ll be there when he cries in the middle of the night and needs…” he trails off and his brows draw together, “…a bottle or something? Financially, it only makes sense for you to sell your house and let me cover all the living expenses. Then you can stay home and hire a manager for the bookstore until you’re ready to go back to work. That’s even if you even want to return…”

His words drone into background noise for me. He’s so practical. No words of love or adoration from this guy. How did I ever think he was the perfect guy for me?

I hold up my hand violently. “I don’t need your financial help. I’m going to work. I can support me and the baby. Maybe we shouldn’t talk at all.”

His nostrils flare. I’m getting to him. Good. He can take his woodsy man smell and sexist attitude back to Nashville. He reaches across and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. I swat him away a second too late.

Dane stares down at the floor and shakes his head. A soft chuckle escapes his lips. He obviously doesn’t know that I’m about to throttle him.

“No laughing. This is my serious face.” I widen my eyes and flatten my lips into a stern line. “My serious, I’m-gonna-kick-your-ass face.”

“I know. It’s like old times up at the cabin when we were teenagers. We drove your parents crazy with our fighting. If I said it’s black, you’d say white.”

“That’s because you were always wrong.”

“If I suggested you, Leo and I needed to swim, you’d say you wanted to play Scrabble.”

“Because you picked swimming every single day.”

He tilts his head to the side and looks at me as if I’m being obtuse. “Because you were in a bikini.”

I roll my eyes. “Oh yeah, right.”

Dane hands me the squeeze bottle of margarine. I apply some on one side of the grilled cheese and flip it over in the skillet. “I’m serious. I wanted you, even back then.”

I flip the grilled cheese sandwich so hard it flies to tilt against the side of the skillet. Dane reaches over to tip it up with one finger. My heart slams against my ribs and my lungs struggle to pull in enough oxygen.

Then I remember our circumstances. He’s had a million chances to tell me this in the past. More than a million. I exhale and lick my dry lips. “I don't mean to call you a liar. But, Dane, you’re a big fat liar. Our circumstances make you say things you normally wouldn’t.”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

A nervous snort escapes me, the unflattering sound followed by a hollow laugh. “You didn’t tell me about Ellen.” I shakily remove the grilled cheese sandwiches from the skillet before they turn into a black smoking mess.

We’re both silent because it’s true. I thought I knew all Dane’s secrets. Obviously not.

Dane turns off the gas burner. “We’re getting honest today, like we’ve never been in the past. I’ve never given myself permission to think of more between us. First, it seemed wrong because you are my best friend. Second, you’re Leo’s sister. Third…Ellen. But the baby changes all this.”

He can justify all the reasons why he wants to be with me now, but it doesn’t change a simple fact. Friendship doesn’t equal romantic love—the kind I need.

“Can we drop the conversation and eat?”

Dane shakes his head ruefully and picks up both plates with grilled cheese sandwiches. “You don’t get it. Suddenly, I’m free to tell you everything I want to. Go ahead and ask me anything.”

“Tell me some more about your birth mother.”

His brow furrows in a cautious line. “What do you want to know?”

“So she’s not well. What exactly does that mean?”

Dane’s expression grows somber, his lips tightly pressed together. He parts them several times, on the verge of saying something, then stops. Finally, he shakes his head. “She might seem normal one day and crazy next week. She takes medication and has regular checkups."

“Medication for what?”

“She’s schizophrenic, Butterfly.”

I school my features so I don’t give my panic away. I don’t really know anything about schizophrenia, except for the movies I’ve seen. I’ve never known anyone with it. “And this is hereditary?”

He takes a bite of his sandwich, purposefully avoiding my question for the moment. I follow his lead take a bite of my own, pretending we have all the time in the world.

He swallows hard and takes a drink. “Yeah there’s a chance of genes passing on. I thought it would be smart if I didn’t get married. You know…in case I’m ever diagnosed or if my kid…”

“But Dane, that would be like me saying I don’t want to have kids because my grandpa died of a heart attack or my cousin has a baby with Down syndrome. You can’t stop living just because something might or might not happen. I’d like to do some research about this when I get back to the bookstore. Maybe you’re more scared than you need to be.”

Dane shrugs. “I wasn’t that afraid of it until saw Ellen have a relapse. She was pretty damn scary. Dangerous to herself and other people. You have no idea how it is when someone is so far outside reality that they think you might be the boogeyman.”

“Oh, Dane. I’m so sorry.”

“But don’t be scared for the baby, okay? I just want you to know how serious it is.”

"Okay. It’s going to be fine. I’m not trying to minimize anything, and I understand the risk.” I reach under the table and rub across his knee. “Can you tell me anything else about Ellen?”

He bites into his sandwich and I don’t rush him to answer. Finally he gives a brief nod as if he’s come up with something. “She’s artistic. She likes to draw and paint.”

“Is she any good?”

“I don’t know if her drawings are good or bad since they’re abstract and I’ve never understood those.”

This makes me laugh. “I can tell you’re very impressed.”

“I’m telling you, Josie, Ellen is strange. I don't know if that’s part of the schizophrenia or if that’s just her personality. She’s suspicious of everything and nothing. She'll ask me what time it is over and over within a half-hour. She has a hard time with understanding money. She won’t get a credit card or checking account because she needs the anonymity of paying with cash. It’s hard for people to deal with her. She argues with people over crazy stuff and then I have to go and intervene so her electricity doesn’t get shut off or her insurance cancelled.”

“She’s lucky that you care.”

I shrug. “I don’t know why I do, but I feel responsible for her. She acts like my visits are the highlight of her life. It’s incredibly sad. Ellen told me that she knew I would never have a normal life if she kept me. She told me that she fell into a dark depression on the day she handed me to my parents. She tried to commit suicide by drinking bleach. Bleach,” he mutters and shakes his head.

My heart contracts sharply. So many emotions play across his handsome face. Guilt. Fear. Regret.

Dane plays with a potato chip on his plate. “I try to go and see her or call once a week. Just check and make sure that she’s in a good place mentally. When she had that relapse earlier in the year, I’d dropped by to see her. When I got there, she accused me of working for the government and spying on her. She’d smashed every light in the apartment. She thought there were cameras in them.” He takes a deep breath and exhales. “But she’s not like that all the time. And when she’s not, she’s almost okay. The thing is….she has no one. Her parents are dead. She has a sister who won’t have anything to do with her. Butterfly, I am the only person she has.” His gaze begs me for understanding.

“Of course you worry about her.” I sit back and rub one hand over my stomach.

His expression grows alarmed. “What’s wrong? Does your stomach hurt?”

“I think I just ate way too much.” I take a deep breath which evolves into a yawn.

Dane gets to his feet and grabs our plates. “Enough about Ellen. You are here to catch up on your rest. I’ll get the dishes, and you go sit on the sofa. Take another nap or read a book.”

“I’m taking you up on this. But don’t take advantage of me if I fall asleep. Don’t even think about putting my head in your lap again.”

The deep rumble of his laugh puts a smile on my face. Maybe I can do this with him. Friends who don’t ever, ever get naked with each other.

Friends who can love a baby together.

* * *

On Monday morning, Leo strolls into the bookstore. He wears a relaxed smile that says a lot about his current state of mind. It’s nice that life handed love and romance to one of us.

Too bad that the smile isn’t going to last after my announcement.

“Morning, sis.” He walks to the end of the counter and picks up a flyer from a local band. Flipping his sunglasses to the top of his head, he examines the advertisement. “Mean Girls with Guitars. Are they any good?”

“Oh…uh…yeah. They’re great. Listen. I asked you to come by so I could talk to you about something.” I tap the pen I hold against the wood counter in a rhythmic beat.

Leo reaches across and grabs the pen. “All ears.”

“It's something about me and Dane.”

His eyes crinkle at the corners and he gets this smug look on his face. “Oh yeah?”

I draw in a deep breath and smile reassuringly. “Life is funny, you know? Sometimes things just happen and you’re blindsided by the whole thing,” I say in a rush.

He lowers his chin and peers up at me, the grin widening. “You and Dane? Sis. I could see this coming a mile away–”

“It's not what you think.”

He lifts his chin and gives a confident chuckle. “I know exactly what it is. And quit acting so weird. You and Dane.” He shakes his head. “I have to say it’s about time. You guys should be dating.”

The sibling voice inside my head taunts, Wait for it… “We're going to have a baby.”

He doesn't move. His lips turn downward. “A baby?”

I exhale and give a long blink. “Whew. I am so glad to get that off my chest.”

His eyebrows jump into his hairline. “Are you kidding me?”

“I knew you would feel this way. But before you start lecturing me, I'm not upset about it. Not like you think I might be. I mean, sure. Who expects an unplanned pregnancy with a guy they're not even dating. But you know how I feel about Dane. And as far as accidents go, I refuse to be sorry about it.”

The silence is deafening, like charged air after a clap of thunder. I attempt to swallow past the lump in my throat. No crying. Dammit these hormones are going to kill me.

“Does Dane know?” His gentle voice loosens the tears pricking my eyes.

“Yeah.” A tear escapes and I drag fingers over my cheek to catch it. “He’s going to be a great father. You know he will be.”

Leo comes around to my side of the counter and leans against the wall. “I’m going to be an uncle.”

“Um hm.”

He grins—a real one that lightens my spirits and puts a lid on my hormonal mood swing. “Why does this feel so inevitable? You two could never fight that pull. I accepted this a long time ago. So, a baby it is.” He sighs. “I should’ve known you were pregnant.”

My lips part into a smile so large it hurts. “How would you know?”

He leans over and gives me a side hug. “I’ve been queasy for weeks. I should’ve known it was the twin voodoo. Why couldn’t I have a brother? I need to figure out a way to cut this metaphysical cord.”

I laugh at his complaint and push him away with one hand. “Wait until we get to the good stuff in the pregnancy.” I slide onto a stool behind the counter. We’re both quiet for a minute.

He pulls his cell phone out and glances at the display. “Can I tell Harper?”

“I’m pretty sure she already knows. I haven’t actually told her, but she sensed it before anyone else. Intuitively. Maybe she’s caught some of the twin voodoo. I’ll ask her to come by and so I can tell her myself.”

Leo folds his arms across his chest and stares down for several seconds before looking up to meet my eyes. “I’m going to be the best uncle any kid has ever had. You won’t be alone. Harper and I will babysit anytime. We’ve got this. Can I ask where Dane fits into this picture?”

“We’re like we’ve always been. That’s not changing because of a baby. I don’t need someone to be with me out of obligation. I need a guy who is crazy in love with me and that’s not Dane.”

Leo only stares at me and shakes his head. His look says he knows better than I do. It’s a standard look he’s given me all my life. “Both of you are idiots. Blind idiots.”

“Thanks. I love you, too.”