Chapter Seventeen
Paige
“Are you kidding me?” Skyler looks at me wide-eyed.
I shake my head. “I'm actually not.”
“Oh my God, girl,” she squeals. “Good for you!”
We're sitting in a booth at the Grill well after the lunch rush has come and gone and Skyler is practically bouncing in her seat. I'd just told her what happened with Liam in the bookstore and her smile is so wide, I'm almost afraid it's going to split her face in two.
“So, when are you going to see him again?” she asks. “When are you going to seal that deal?”
I laugh and shake my head. “I don't think I am.”
Her mouth falls open and her expression changes from one of extreme giddiness to one of pure shock and horror.
“What are you talking about?” Skyler asks. “You have to. You can't walk that far down the path and then just turn around.”
“I don't think I can actually have sex with him, Sky.”
“And why not?”
“Because, I don't know if I'm into him like that,” I say.
“You were into him enough to let him go down on you,” she says.
“Yeah, but –”
“And you were into him enough that you would have boned him right there in your shop,” she presses.
“I lost my head for a minute,” I say. “I lost control of myself.”
She leans forward across the table and takes my hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. “Maybe that's what you need, hon,” she says. “Maybe you need to learn to lose control a little bit now and then.”
I sigh and take a drink of my soda, setting the glass back down and leaning back in the booth. I'm just so damn conflicted right now. Yeah, I enjoyed having Liam go down on me yesterday. I enjoyed it a lot, in fact. And I have no doubts at all that I would have enjoyed having sex with him.
But, at the same time, I barely know him. Yeah, I'm intrigued by him. I find him very interesting as well as attractive. But, I need more than that to actually sleep with somebody. I need to have a connection with them.
“Maybe that's your biggest problem,” Skyler says.
“I have a lot of problems,” I say, “could you narrow it down for me a bit?”
She grins at me. “Your control,” she says. “You're so bound up and try to control everything inside of you that it's really screwing with your head, hon. You've always been like this and I don’t think it's good for you.”
“I don't know, Sky,” I say.
“Maybe, having somebody in your life that challenges that control, that takes it away from you, would be a good thing,” she says. “Or maybe, more importantly, somebody you're willing to give that control to, would be a good thing for you.”
I look at her and pop a sweet potato fry into my mouth. “And what makes you think Liam is the right guy for that?” I ask.
“For a couple of reasons –”
“If you say because he's hot, I'm going to smack you with a french fry.”
Skyler laughs. “No, that's not what I was going to say – but he is hot,” she says. “What I was going to say though, is because of the way you look when you talk about him. You just get this kind of dreamy look in your eyes. It's something I don't think I've ever seen before. I can tell you're infatuated with the man.”
“I’m intrigued by him,” I correct her. “Totally different from infatuated.”
“If you say so,” she says. “More than that though, the simple fact that you let him go down on you, and almost had sex with him – in your shop of all places – tells me that you do have some sort of a connection with him already. That you're more into him than you're letting yourself acknowledge or believe.”
I let out a long breath and take another drink of my soda. I look at Skyler and then back down at my plate, still trying to process everything that happened, as well as everything she's saying. I honestly don't know what came over me in the shop yesterday. That was so out of character for me that I don't know what to make of it. Or even where to begin figuring it out.
“I don't know about that,” I say.
“I do,” she replies. “But, why are you so hesitant about him?”
I chew the fry in my mouth and swallow before answering. “Well, first of all, I don't even know that he's into me like that.”
Skyler laughs. “I'd say going down on you in your shop is a pretty good indication that he's into you.”
“Or an indication that he's just a guy who wants to get laid.”
“Did he?” she asks, arching an eyebrow. “Get laid?”
“Well, no,” I say. “Because we were interrupted.”
“And yet, he didn't stick around and wait for Mrs. James to leave so he could pick up where you left off.”
“At that point, I wouldn't have,” I say. “I'd come back to my senses.”
“He didn't know that,” she presses. “For all he knew, once the old lady left, you two would be banging like beasts in the back again. But, he got you off and left.”
A small smile touches my lips as I think back to what we'd done. Recalling how he made me feel. I remember thinking what a generous lover he seems to be. That he seemed more focused on my pleasure than on his. It's a rarity in men – at least, in my experience. That's what made it stand out all the more in my mind.
“Do you like him?” Skyler asks me.
I'm caught off guard by the question and I look at her, my mind racing with a million different thoughts.
“I really don't know,” I say. “I don't really know him.”
“You know a little bit,” she says. “You know enough that you were about to shag him.”
“Which is a pretty basic physiological response to stimuli,” I say.
She laughs. “Wow, you sure know how to take the sexiness out of things,” she says. “But, the point remains, you are into him enough that you let that damn control you value so much slip. That should tell you something.”
I shrug. “He's nice,” I say. “He seems like a decent enough guy that I really misjudged in the beginning. But, I can also see that he's got some of that alpha-dog mentality in that I despise.”
Skyler scoffs again. “You're really grasping at straws, hon,” she says. “He's the head of a large company. He's got to have at least some of that mentality. It comes with the corner office. The question you should be asking yourself is this – is that who he really is? Is he that alpha-dog type? Or is that simply a mask he wears in his career?”
I shake my head. “I really don't know.”
“Oh, I think you do,” she says. “I think deep down, you do. You are just so bound and determined to avoid intimacy with anybody, that you're not letting yourself see what's in front of you.”
“I'm glad you have it all figured out,” I say and laugh.
“I do have it all figured out,” she says with a smile. “Now, if you'd only listen to me about what's best for you, things would be so much easier.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
I drain the last of my soda and know I need to get back to the shop. Skyler never fails to give me something to think about though. As much as I hate it at times – like now.
“So?” Skyler asks, a mischievous smirk on her face. “How was he? Did he make your toes curl?”
“You have no idea,” I reply.
She squeezes my hand again and is practically bursting at the seams. “I'm so happy for you, Paige.”
“The thing that blows my mind –”
“Other than an Earth-shattering orgasm?”
“Yeah, other than that,” I laugh. “I was really blown away by the fact that his sole focus seemed to be on pleasing me. On my pleasure. He really seemed to be more interested in getting me off than on getting himself off. I've never experienced anything like it before.”
“Generous lovers like that are amazing,” she says. “And amazingly rare. You should hold on to that one, hon.”
“Yeah, well, like I said, I don't know what he's thinking or feeling about me,” I say.
“One way to find out,” she says. “Ask him.”
“Ask him,” I stare at her.
“Yeah, ask him.”
“Please tell me you're kidding me,” I say and smile.
“Actually, I'm not.”
“That just seems so high school,” I say and then, in a mocking tone, add, “Gee, Liam, do you like me? Wanna go steady?”
Skyler laughs but rolls her eyes at me. “Jesus Christ,” she says. “Do you know how many of this world's problems would be solved if people just fucking started talking? If people learned how to communicate with each other? Gee, where have I heard that before? Wait, wait – it'll come to me.”
The laughter dies in my throat. She has a point. It's actually something I've railed about plenty of times before. A lot of things would be a lot easier if people remembered how to talk to each other. It's a simple concept that very few people can seem to grasp.
And now, I have to kick my own ass because I am apparently, one of those people. A rueful grin touches my lips as I look at her.
“No fair using my own words against me,” I say.
“All is fair in war and booty calls, baby,” she says. “Talk to him, Paige. Seriously, with the exception of those monks who live in yurts up in the Himalayas, you need to get laid worse than anybody on this planet.”
“Gee, thanks,” I say. “You always know how to make me feel good.”
“I do try my best,” she says with a wide smile.