~17~

“You gotta let that go, man.”

“Let it go? You, the gatekeeper of haunted memories tell me”—LeRoy’s well manicured hand swept across his chest—“to let it go?”

Raj’s one arm was around my shoulder while the other waved in the air. “Yeah, man.”

LeRoy’s queen peaked when he whipped his head and blinked hard in disbelief. After sitting through a twenty-plus minute story about him having abruptly ended a visit somewhere in eastern India where his lover lived. Apparently, the two had been dating for the better part of a year and finally the lover was prepared to tell his family he was not only gay, but in love with a black American man. Only problem was, when LeRoy arrived, he soon discovered his lover had lost the balls to do so. So, he left right away and detoured here to Saint Justin. He was now drowning his sorrows in tequila. There was a line of them on our small table.

We were at a small hut bar on the beach, not too far away from our bungalow. The music was a mix of Reggaeton, top 100, hip-hop, and Caribbean vibes. After dinner on the beach, we retreated here where Raj and I spent the first few minutes dancing among the crowd of people. No one seemed to notice him in his low fitted baseball cap. Raj forced a sulking LeRoy to cut in, leaving us to go get a table and drinks for us. Ragee was finally able to get his friend to come clean about his evident gloomy behavior.

LeRoy shook his head dismissively, his lashes fanning. “This is what you hetero people don’t understand. For gay people, seeing you deny who you truly are to appease the facet of people who don’t understand a damn thing about you is fucking offensive.”

“Help me understand.”

“To do that would be me having the power to change your sexuality. If you’re not in the community, I can’t expect you to understand, Raj,” LeRoy grated, rolling his eyes as he grabbed another shot glass and tossed it back.

My eyes swept against Raj to the right of me curiously. I could see he was frustrated by the conversation, and I was now convinced Ragee and LeRoy were completely different species. LeRoy was unapologetically gay—completely femme. Through the past few hours of eating, drinking, and dancing with LeRoy, who was ironically alone with us, he was wholly different from the man I knew off this island. And Raj? He was a straight dude. Dude! He listened, but didn’t empathize. I could tell he didn’t like his friend suffering from a broken heart, but Ragee thought with his head and cursed anything that had to do with the heart. That was basically his response.

“Look. I gotta take a leak then go rap to the concierge right quick before he’s done for the night.” Raj squeezed my hand as he stood from the table. “Stop crying and take care of her till I get back.” And he was off.

I sat back in my seat, the effects of my cocktail warming me over as I gazed across the table at LeRoy.

“What?”

I couldn’t hide my smirk as I washed back the rest of my drink. “You called him a heterosexual.” I licked the drink from my lips.

“Because he is, sweetheart.”

Oh, I know…

“Yeah, but you could be lying. Could have said that to plant the seed in my head.”

LeRoy’s chortle was lined with arrogance. He gulped back another shot and slammed the glass back down playfully. “Oh, honey, if there’s one thing that can be said about LeRoy Eugene Goshay it’s that I don’t lie.” He shrugged. “Simply don’t know how to. Ragee has never been with a man a day in his life. Has never wanted to. He doesn’t swing that way, sweetie. And by the way, he’s been going gorilla on your orangutan-tang; you should know quite well.” He winked.

“You’re bi-sexual. That’s not uncommon.”

By the flip in LeRoy’s eye, I knew he caught the implication.

“I’ve known that man since he was twelve years old. He’s some kind of fucked up, but none of his peculiar ways have to do with sexual preference.”

“I’m just saying…” My eyes fell. “Sometimes we think we know people when we really don’t. Everyone has those two-three stories they keep to the chest, right?” My eyes slowly raked up to LeRoy’s knowing smile.

“I know that man, belle.”

“Not all.”

LeRoy took a deep breath, sitting up in his seat. He smoothed down the front of his shirt with his hand. Then he bit his top lip seductively as his eyes circled around as if to keep from laughing, maybe.

He pulled in and let go of another breath. “I know he hasn’t eaten your pussy.”

My mouth fell open. 

He nodded with narrowed eyes. “Yeah. I know, honey. I know he probably wants to—no. Fuck that. He does want to. Ragee McKinnon flies bitches out nowhere. But he likely won’t eat it because he’s a tight ass that’s not big on exploring. Oh, I imagine he can fuck, though.” His chin dipped and brows hiked. “He does fuck women when he feels so inclined. But he doesn’t romance them. He knows nothing about the chase, the strong desire for affection…how to court a woman. And to be honest, I didn’t think his irreversible case of fuckedupness would allow him to.”

“Those are strong words.”

He shrugged with his lips. “It’s true. I love him because I can without being in his face all the time. I don’t need to, to protect him. We have an irreversible bond that he holds so dear, he hasn’t broken it, even for money. That’s why he didn’t get the movie role promised to him. I’m one of the reasons why the false label has been placed on him. I’ve kept my distance for years, but it follows him. The only bond stronger than the one with me has to be his with Myisha. Those two are blood and share their own oath of forever.”

“What makes you two so close? How did you meet?”

“The same way he did lots of strays in New Brunswick. Pastor McKinnon took everybody in. I was a homeless, hopeless ass of a kid.” He waved a hand in the air and shook his head. “Long story. Don’t ask. Anyway… I snatched a woman’s pocketbook outside of a grocery store when I was thirteen. So happened to be a cop around and I got caught and arrested. Trial date rolled around and the judge was about to sentence me until a chunky woman with an awful wig stood up and asked to take me in. It was Pastor Alberta McKinnon. Apparently, I’d attempted to rob her armor bearer, Evangelist Mary.” He laughed, giddily.

I couldn’t muster a matched sense of humor.

My eyes closed as I tried processing what a young LeRoy looked like and behaved like before he turned into an eclectic divo, fashion consultant extraordinaire.

“He tell you about his crackhead, whore ass cunt of an aunt?”

My neck jerked back slightly. That was harsh, spoken so expressively about his bestie. But I wanted to know more about my fake husband. Why was he so…strange? I especially wanted to know now that it was clear Raj was not gay.

I pulled the straw in my water to my lips casually. “A whore cunt, huhn?”

“A crackhead, whore ass cunt, is what I said. That bitch was fucking evil and so sexually deviant, she tried to bring her junky boyfriend—one of many—in to rape me one night!” he whispered hard, neck swinging.

LeRoy had had a lot to drink. Too much.

But I need to know more…

“Oh, yeah?” I kept my tone mellow. “And what did Ragee do?”

“Guuuuuuuurl,” He sucked his jaws in and popped his lips as his dark long lashes fluttered. “Let me tell you! My little bed was across the basement from his and it was about two in the morning. Pastor McKinnon was upstairs in her bed, counting halos at that hour. That bitch-aunt brought him to me to settle a score. I’d slapped the shit out her perverted ass two days before then. So I guess she thought she was going to incite some perversion revenge or some shit. Girl, I woke up to being pissed on by an old ass man—on my bare back! I jumped out of my sleep, I guess subconsciously knowing the sound, feel, and weight of piss coming from the pipe. At first, I was scared and backed up to the wall. That ugly bitch laughed at me. Can you believe that?”

My face lifted as though I was going to cry. Hell, I’d heard debauchery far more horrid than this, but this was unexpected. I’d been drinking, too.

“Then when he finished and my mind was still waking the hell up, he pulled down his pants to his ankles and went to grab me. That motherfucker told me to either bend over or open my mouth.” LeRoy’s hand went to his gaping lips, reacting from the memory of the nightmare. “He said I knew the drill as a little faggot. He was going to teach me a lesson. That if I wanted to hit women, I had to be one. Girl, I started swinging on him.” LeRoy began to loosely and aimlessly swing his arms in the air.

My heart broke. If he fought anything like his reenactment, he was helpless to an adult man. Thankfully, no one could exactly hear him under the music.

“He slapped me in the face so hard, my damn ears popped. Then he yanked me off the bed. That bitch laughed as I fought for my life. I don’t know when it happened, but the next thing I knew, honey, I was on all fours, clawing the damn wall for my life!” LeRoy’s head fell to the table dramatically and I glanced around our table for Raj.

Thank god I only saw the bodies of dancing patrons, being festive.

I pushed my torso over the table to be sure he heard me. “Then what happened?”

He lifted his head and his eyes swelled wide. “Girl, next thing I knew, the evil bitch screamed, my body was yanked to the side, but after that his grip on me was gone. I heard him yell. That’s when I turned around and saw a cinnamon bundle of muscles swinging on him, punching that fucker dead in the face. That crack bastard fell to the ground and those blows kept coming, honey!”

“Raj?”

“Yes, girl! Them moves Cut was teaching him all those months in the gym had paid off, because blood sprayed all around, but Gee-Gee kept going. And then don’t you know, that crackhead, cunt bitch tried to jump on Ragee?” LeRoy sucked in a hard, dramatic breath with wild eyes. “Honey, I yanked that one by the head and tossed her somewhere. Told her I would kill her if she ain’t run like a bat out of hell!”

“Oh, my god!” I chirped, tensing all over. I had sat through real life nightmare tales, but this one was affecting me because…it included him. Ragee. “What happened to the guy?”

“After using all my might to pull Raj off him, I threw on shoes and jacket—forgetting I was just in boxers—and pulled that joker out of the basement and all the way down to the railroad by Jersey Ave. Then my scary ass had to get back to the house, force Raj’s zombie ass into the bathroom to shower. When that was accomplished, I found some bleach and soap, and scrubbed blood from everywhere. My mattress reeked of pee. I threw that out and the sheets and stuff before Pastor McKinnon or anybody else from upstairs woke up.” He shook the nightmare off. “That was one hell of a night.”

“Whatever happened to the guy?”

“Hell if I know. He just ain’t never come back and that was for the good.”

I nodded. Funny how relaxed and broken LeRoy’s vernacular became when recounting back when. It reminded me of the tough veneers people with traumatic experiences can put on. Much similar to his best friend.

“Hey,” as if on cue, Raj appeared over my shoulder. “You done with this love sick fool yet?” he asked with a half-committed smile.

“Fuck you, McKinnon,” LeRoy charged, but mildly. “Not everyone wants to die alone like you. We’re not all built for it.” He swung his neck in the air. “Don’t go falling for this man. He’s heartless. I don’t give a damn if the dick is good. Trust me, belle: good dick is rare and outstanding dick is dangerous,” he over-enunciated the s.

After the journey he’d just taken me on with their dark pasts, I didn’t have the ability to switch moods. I was still processing pain.

“I think I can handle dangerous.” My eyes swept up to Raj and my lashes fluttered.

He laughed at my attempt to flirt. I really had a short reserve for positivity after what I’d just sat through.

“Oh, damn,” LeRoy rustled. “I told my crew I’d be just a few hours. It’s been damn near four. Let me take my tired ass off.” He stood.

“Get some Kleenex or something, my nigga.” Raj teased. “They out front?”

“Better be or heads will be rolling,” LeRoy swore before chucking back the last tequila shot.

“I’ll walk you out,” Raj offered. “I’ll be right back,” he murmured in my ear.

“No. I’ll come.”

The three of us left the small club and traveled to the front of the resort where we found a waiting car with someone standing next  to it. It was the petite femme guy with a high-top fade who usually traveled with LeRoy. He didn’t seem relieved to see him either. When we said our goodbyes, I actually absorbed LeRoy into a hug. I could feel his thin frame stiffen in my embrace as I rubbed his back. Weird, but I felt that was what he needed, unbiased compassion.

“Take care, friend,” I offered when we pulled away.

His tall frame gazed down on me with what I could have sworn to be misted eyes. “Thank you, belle.”

Raj’s salutation was a bit different. “A’ight, man. Stay up.”

“What? No prayers from the preacher man?”

Raj snorted, brows hiked. “Not on this crybaby nonsense. Grow some and move on.”

LeRoy rolled his eyes. “Love you, too, fucking asshole,” he hissed as he walked off.

“Love you more, duke.” Raj’s smile was tempting as well as annoying.

It was sinister. He was teasing his friend who was tender. Again, Raj was a dude. That could be dangerous to a needy soul. My thoughts lingered as I watched LeRoy get into the car and pull off.

Before I knew it, I was thrusted into hard planks of muscle. Raj was in my face, the ends of his beard tickling my cheek.

“Sorry about the interruption,” he hummed deliciously in my ear. “Now back to the birthday celebration. I only have eleven months and eleven days before you’re next one to celebrate.” His big palm gripped my ass and a powerful zing coursed my spine.

I had to keep from moaning. “No interruption at all. It’s always good getting to know more about my husband.” I wrinkled my nose and cocked my head. “What does he do for a living that has him detouring a chartered plane with limos and chauffeurs?” When I googled Raj before the wedding and learned of his bestie, LeRoy, I could tell he was in the fashion industry, but didn’t know exactly how.

Raj shook his head, exhaling. “He’s a fashion buyer for a major department store. But the planes, limos, and exotic trips don’t come from his modest pay. The people he comes across in his line of work sponsor that.”

“Like his bestie?”

“Used to when I first came up. Lee’s my brother. We were broke together. But dude’s got his own rep and name now. Never mind him.” His eyes narrowed devilishly and head tilted as he pulled me into his hard, lengthy frame. “Now, I wanna dance more. I like the feel of you moving against me.”

A smile blossomed on my face. Raj wasn’t a performance dancer, but the guy had moves.

“I’d like that very much…and something else.”

His face opened with humor. “What?”

“To move against you without clothes.”

“Prove it…on the dance floor.” He dared with one cheek hiked.

We made our way back to the small club where on the way, we spotted his security, Danny G, whispering in the ear of a young woman. She appeared to love it as she giggled with half-mast eyes. Back at the club, there were fewer people and Raj approached the deejay to ask for less upbeat tunes to ease us into mellow R&B. Raj ordered a round of shots at the bar where I followed him to, bobbing to the music.

When the drinks were served, he turned to me with his glass in the air. “To the birthday girl! May your latter days be filled with joy your heart can hardly contain, laughter that splits your pants, friends strong enough to hold you down on your worse days, and overflowing blessings. May at twenty-nine, you begin to live the best years of your life.”

His wide and elated grin mixed with those heady words swelled my heart. I didn’t think I’d ever been wished well by a man other than my mother’s father and Van.

“Hmmmmm…” I angled my head and tossed my eyes into the distance. “I think my heart can agree on that.”

We clinked glasses then tossed them back. Raj placed them both on the bar top and led me to the dance floor where we ground on each other while the music was still up-tempo. I laughed at his silliness of playful seduction. His hips rocked side to side, waist twisted and circled; Raj was no Chris Brown or Michael Jackson, but he had an adult two-step. Our pace moved according to that of the music. When it wound down, he turned me so my back was against his chest. I couldn’t help my giggle when his lips brushed against my face and his teeth bit my earlobe.

I’d never done this before. Never felt…precious and adored. I’d been in love once in my life. It almost ruined me. Wrecked me. Falling in love with a man over ten years older taught me a lot about my body, but nothing about my heart. Never had it made me feel like a whole woman, or that a woman could hold so much significance to a man. Although he wasn’t my first, Sheldon taught me how to fuck. I thought that one aspect of our relationship made me a woman. No. These few years since I left him had. From quitting my job to beginning this journey of becoming the fake Mrs. McKinnon, I’d learned to step out of what didn’t bring me happiness and take risks. These years had also taught me I could never trust my heart to a tortured soul like Ragee McKinnon, but I could be an ally. I could pad him with the privacy and support he needed to thrive.

We danced for what felt like hours. Spinning, dipping, gripping, and grinding. I was a sweaty mess after a while, but I’d never felt so incredibly feminine in my life. I turned in his arms, putting us chest to abdomen.

“Okay. I’m ready to blow your fucking mind now.” My expression was as serious as my desire urgent.

Raj’s eyes narrowed even more than the alcohol and heavy seductive dancing made them when he laughed. “That mouth of yours!” Then his expression sobered, darkened. “I’m ready.”

She was sweaty. God, she dripped with it, and it turned me on each time my hand slipped from her waist as she bounced on top of me. Her body glistened under the silver streak of the moonlight, and my rod stiffened inside of her. She bounced, rolled, and grounded her pussy over my cock slowly as we both looked at where we met. Her drives and pace changed when she lifted one leg to flatten her foot on the bed. Wynter’s head tossed back in tortured pleasure and I watched it all, struggling not to spill into her.

“Don’t come,” she panted, her face tight and strained.

“Okay, baby…” I whispered, pushing my head to the back of the couch.

My hands slid up her belly and busied with her hard nipples that disappeared in the darkness of the night. But her tits were firm, bouncy, and soft. My hands struggled to stay on them, her skin was so glossy from perspiration.

“Oooh, Raj,” she breathed, mouth open. God, she’s sexy… “Oooh, Raj!”

I felt her puss grip me below like a vice and her thrusts into me came faster and harder. Her spine curled and head flew back as she breathed pained gulps.

“Don’t come! Don’t come!”

“Gaaaaah!” I breathed, squeezing my cheeks to the point of pain.

I tried hard to think of something far from this bungalow even though that was hard to when I had Wynter doing figure eight drops on my dick. But I managed to ride it out until her cries softened and her chin dropped back down. Then she hopped off me, scrambling to the floor. She moved so fast, I couldn’t ask what the hell was she doing when my dick was so hard, I was in pain.

Wynter pushed my legs open, making more room for herself in between than she needed. Her mouth sank down on my cock and her hands made rings around the root of me. Goddamn… She applied the right type of pressure with her hands and tongue as it rolled over my head, around the Apa bar. Her palms moved up, massaged more of me while those lips and tongue stayed busy up top. Her breaths came fast and loud, reminding me of the work she was putting in.

I grabbed her at the back of the head, easing my way into a blast off. Her hand jerked smoothly, her spit game was on point, keeping me lubed. And her hot mouth kept me warm. Soon her hands reached just under my swollen head and she didn’t bob anymore. My eyes began to blur and feet started to heat at the bottom. With her elbows, she spread my legs wider, and I pumped harder into her grip and mouth.

Then her head dipped. Her mouth went around one of my engorged balls. I focused on her hand game instead. My hips pumped up and Wynter’s clutch tightened. But when her head dipped lower and I felt a slither way down in a place unfamiliar, my eyes shot open. I tried staying with my pace, my dick moving up and down against her wet palms. The sensation from under my balls started warming my damn belly, making my right leg stand on its big toe.

What. The. Hell…

I didn’t like the invasion, but I tried playing cool. Wynter was nasty as hell; this I knew already. But what the hell was she trying to pull on me? Damn if I didn’t I moan. Her tongue swiped over nerves I never knew I had down there.

“Goddamn, Wyn—” I barked hard, wanting to tell her to stop.

This was fucking disgusting. And felt so damn good… She kept at it, her tongue swirled around. Slowly, my eyes closed. My hands gripped the back of the couch as she rolled her tongue round and round and round, dizzying me. My pelvis pushed harder and harder. My ass squeezed and squeezed.

“Ah!” My spine straightened like a line and I grabbed the backs of her hands, jerking myself with her, driving toward demanding and growing pleasure. I couldn’t stop it if I wanted to.

And with her, I didn’t.

I sprayed in the air, feeling hot cum slap on my chest, thighs, and stomach. My orgasm rolled over me, over and over and over. My shoulders caved and my chin hung over her head as I tried to breathe my way through pleasure I never knew. She didn’t stop and neither did my coming, it seemed. It was all over my hands that covered hers. They slipped away before Wynter’s. But she knew when I was done. Her hands slowed and head rolled up with eyes guilty as sin.

As I turned onto my back, I could feel my mouth was dry and shoulder muscles a little tight. My eyes fluttered open to bright sunlight and blue waters, I couldn’t see much else. The windows and back doors of the bungalow were open, but out of focus for my eyes. I blinked a few times and stretched to clear my vision.

She sat down at the foot of the bed with her knees pulled up to her chin. I blinked a few more times then rubbed my eyes.

Wynter’s chin was on her shoulder as she looked back at me.

“Is this going to only be a three day vacation now, or worse: you want to leave today?”

Even with the fake pout of her mouth, I could see the sadness in her eyes. It was a sincere question from her.

“Why? You ready to go?” my voice was so deep, I could hardly get out each syllable.

When Wynter’s eyes circled and strained guiltily, I caught on.

My head fell back on the pillow and I used both hands to rub my face awake. “Nah, but I’m good on the nifkin play. No more for me.”

“Sorry,” she whined and I glanced down the bed and saw her bottom lip poking apologetically.

I laughed, scraping my face with my hands again. “It’s all good. I ain’t trippin’ at all. It’s just a once and done type of deal with me.”

“So you enjoyed it?” Her face lifted in a smile.

“I enjoyed you.”

That was all I could think of. I never did anal play or teasing. In fact, no matter how good it made me feel last night, it made me feel more vulnerable than a man should. Nobody should be able to make me lose it the way I did.

Wynter turned and crawled up the mattress, her expression turned full on seductress.

“Then we’re still friends?” she asked on all fours.

I laughed, holding my bare chest. “Oh, cut it out, freak!” I hit her with a small pillow.

“You know what hit me the other day?” Wynter asked, cutting into her flourless and eggless pancakes I had to convince her she could eat.

Man, she took this dieting thing too seriously.

“What’s that?” I grabbed my water.

“You hated me so much you didn’t want me on your little jet.” She used her fork to point at me.

I chuckled. “One, there’s nothing little about my jet, sweetheart. Two, what’re you talking about?”

“The wedding down in Marye Island…in the Keys, you didn’t want me to fly down on it. Even when I flew out to Detroit for your show, I took a commercial flight.”

My laugh this time was full blown. I scratched my nose, looking out to the water that seemed boundless from this view. “Nah, I wasn’t willing to share my toys then.”

“You were mean.” She forked a piece of grapefruit in her mouth.

My head shook as I faced my plate. “I was angry. Still am.”

“With me?”

“No. With me.”

“And Mike?”

“And Mike.” I laughed, agreeing again. “The last thing I thought of when the studio execs turned me down was I’d create a whole life to be accepted. It’s not how I roll.”

“So it’s true.” She licked her lips. “That’s why you did this marriage thing. It was to sweeten your image for business reasons?”

My eyes fell to the table and I tried busying myself with my food. “Yeah. That’s one thing the blogs did get right—well, a blog. The rest ran off the plug with it.”

“Spilling that Hot Tea!” she muttered while sitting up with one hand holding up her coffee mug and the other crossed over her waist.

“Yup. Them.” I nodded. “They always seem to be cutting edge with their posts.”

She nodded, casting her eyes out to the oceanfront. For a while, I finished my breakfast in silence.

“You never talk about your mother.”

“What about her?” I asked, still tending to my plate.

“When did she pass? Myisha said it was a long time ago, but didn’t say when.”

“When I was ten.”

“How?”

Why?

“Ummmmm…” I hated talking about it. About her. “Uh… They say an aneurysm.”

“You think differently?” There was heightened curiosity in her tone.

I sat back, taking a deep breath. “Yeah and no. I think she was overworked and more than that, unhappy.” Wynter’s lifted brows pushed me to explain. “She spent her life trying to please her mother and aid her druggy sister. She acted as though my grandmother didn’t have two other daughters—well, one died when she was like five, I was told. But she had a son, too. He’s the oldest. My mom played everybody’s savior, caregiver. Seemed like she had the patience of Job with everybody but my Pops.”

“You think they should have stayed together?”

“I think giving it a try would have meant putting each other first. Like my pops begged her to do after she had Arnie. She never gave ‘them’ a real chance as a couple. I’ve learned nobody is worth your happiness. Not your demanding family, who don’t have much of a purview outside of the family’s storefront church. Not fans, who don’t know you past the songs you sing or the lines you recite while the cameras are rolling.”

“What’s happiness?” Her eyes were intent, and body steeled.

 I shrugged my eyebrows and took a sip of my water. “Today, it’s me celebrating an extraordinary woman, who’s survived my crankiness for four months.”

Her eyes narrowed and she planted her elbows on the table. “You think I’m extraordinary?”

I leaned into the table, too, and mimicked her expression. “I think I wanna take you out on the water and laugh at you while you learn to surf.”

“Oh.” She blinked then sat up. “I don’t have swim gear.” Her pout was crooked.

“You haven’t checked your luggage. You got swimwear and more.” I winked. “I made sure of it.”

It was one of the things I asked Jashon to get her while we were at Super Bowl.

Wynter’s eyes blew up then she relaxed. “You know how to surf?”

“Not really.” She laughed and I couldn’t help but do the same. “Young called himself teaching me a lil something. I suck, but it’s fun—if you can swim. Can you swim?”

Her chin dipped. “Young, as in Young Lord?” I nodded. “A dude from Paterson taught you how to surf? How the hell did he learn?”

I smiled. “He evolved his mind, sweetheart.”

I couldn’t help laughing. I sat, straddling the board over the clear deep blue waters while I watched her trying to balance her own…without success. God, it was gorgeous out: clear skies, tropic sounds, and a bright looming sun. I was told the water sparkled at night by Trent Bailey, who sent me a text the night of Super Bowl to say thanks for stopping through and showing support. He invited Wynter and me to a gathering they were having and I declined, explaining our low-key surprise trip out here. That’s when he told me he and Jade honeymooned in Saint Justin. It was also where Ezra and his wife, Lex, celebrated their oldest daughter’s birthday last fall. Crazy bizarre.

“Hahahahahahahaha!” I couldn’t help it.

She pulled up on her surfboard, wiping the cascading water from her face and trying to catch her breath. The instructor kept asking her to be patient. And Wynter had that determined look in her eyes as she paddled toward another incoming. As I cracked up, she mounted the board again.

“Be quick and don’t look back!” I shouted to her.

If she ignored me, I wouldn’t know because Wynter paddled her arms toward the growing hill then lifted just her upper torso from her splayed palms. Almost with athletic agility, she hopped to her feet on the board and balanced her way into a standing position just as she met the wave.

Wow…

I was impressed by her ability to follow instruction. Just like when we were in the gym, Wynter talked little and pushed herself to complete the task. I was almost jealous her teaching was coming from someone other than me. Nah. Scratch that. I was jealous. She bent her legs just right, and even though she struggled for balance, the faint grooves in her thick thighs and legs reminded me of her commitment to working out over the past month. She didn’t get too far before collapsing in the water again, but she rode more of the wave than she did the last few attempts.

All of a sudden, nothing was funny. All humor was washed away. Now, I was turned the hell on by how, in just an hour and a half, shortie had learned the basics of surfing. That was Wynter, though.

Determined.

Flexible.

Resilient.

“Mmmmmm…” she moaned against my chest.

I wrapped my leg around the back of her thigh as we floated in the water. Wynter’s arms fell underneath me, gripping my thighs and occasionally rubbing my cheeks back there.

“What is it with you and a man’s ass?” I asked as I laughed.

With her chin on my chest she smiled brightly, the sun flashing over her choppers made me appreciate her recent efforts to have them straightened and whitened, though I had no idea what they looked like before. “It’s your ass I’m infatuated with—no.” She shook her head, devilish grin at play as usual. “I’m in love with. Your body is to die for. It’s my forbidden fruit.”

“Technically, it’s not. We’re married.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Yeah,” I snorted. “So, you’re just serpent minded, is all.” She giggled sweetly.

Wynter didn’t apologize for her sexual appetite or bold libido. I loved that about her. Loved her. Yup. I went from entertaining the fact I had a wife, to tolerating her living in my homes, to finding her funny then cute, to finding her attractive, to actually liking her, to enjoying sex with her, then to loving her.

God, I need to do better as a human…

We lay quietly and floated over the calm water. This was nice. So nice I could get used to it. Gazing up to the blue sky brought a Stevie Wonder track to mind. I found myself humming the melody, relaxing myself as I steadied my body to float the two of us. Wynter kissed my chest as though recognizing the tune and approving it. Then she lay the side of her face down, against the beat of my heart. This was good. I thought of the meaning to the lyrics as they flowed through my head. I never fully understood them, only believed them to be beautiful. Now, with my attention fixated on God’s wonder, I began to develop my own meaning. I was grateful. What had begun as something deceptive and manipulating was now an adventure of possibly a true friendship.

I trusted Wynter. And that could have been because she didn’t take me seriously enough to sell my business to blogs, or use our arranged marriage to bring people into my personal space, giving them privy to my home or life. She had been too occupied with her own personal affairs, struggling to get them together. And this was a scary revelation for me. I hadn’t trusted anyone new since I was a child. Now, I wanted to see the world through her eyes. Was desperate to be like her and step out of my comfort zone, and take risks to liberate my limited mind.

When my skin above the water felt overheated, I splashed water on the both of us. Wynter didn’t move. In fact, I thought I heard a little snore. That sent a chill through me. She trusted me that much to fall asleep in, what had to be, at least seven feet of water, allowing me to guide us.

God, what is this?

I slowly steered back to the beach, moving in a way that didn’t disturb her until we made it. I couldn’t wait to see the water sparkle with her out here.

“Wynter…” I heard then my toes hit sand in the water. “Time to get up, sleepy head.”

My eyes blinked open behind my sunglasses, and I was met with Raj’s seductive smile he couldn’t help. I stood, stumbling a little. Chuckling, he caught me and walked me hand in hand onto the dry sand. He looked for Danny G, who had stayed behind with our personal items.

“Oh, my god!” I heard a feminine shriek.

“Well, I’ll be damned!” a masculine voice boomed through.

I craned my neck beyond Raj to the left of me and saw a couple approaching us with an angry baby. The man was rather short but well built, and the woman was fit in a string bikini. Her chestnut hair up in a sloppy bun over her head.

“Is that you?” she asked with a fussy baby in a fisherman’s hat and a blob of sunblock on his nose.

This was the first time I’d been with Raj at a non-work event where he was recognized. Last night, he wore a baseball cap low. Today, he was without it while we were in the water.

By the slow smile cresting on his face, I could tell Ragee was cool with it.

“Oh, my god, honey! It is him!”

“It’s nice to meet you, man!” The husband approached Raj for a handshake. “My wife’s a huge fan, bro! Sometimes I have to wonder,” he joked.

Raj pulled me behind him, but close so I my chest was on his back as he obliged the man in a shake.

“Holy shit!” the woman trilled, bouncing the fussy little baby. “Can we please have a picture. I swear, we’ll let you go. My friends’ll never believe this.” I was able to detect a Latin accent.

“Sure,” Raj agreed.

“And with your wife, too. I’m so happy you married a brown girl,” she remarked.

I couldn’t help my snicker. Even Ragee chuckled at that. The husband asked someone to take the picture with his phone. We took a few with the nice family. Raj playfully pinched my ass, making me smile bigger than I preferred.

“You mind taking one with my son, Riccardo?” the husband asked.

Raj’s eyes hit me. “No problem.”

When the wife placed the baby in Raj’s arm, he wailed. Even me standing on the other side of him, rubbing his little chunky arm didn’t soothe him. He wiggled in Raj’s hold and that’s when I noticed his runny nose. The kid sounded congested, too.

“Oh, Rickey!” his mother begged the baby.

“He’s got a cold, honey. He’ll be a little cranky.” The husband took the picture.

And as soon as he confirmed he was done, it hit me that if they shared it on social media, the world would know we were here. Raj wanted it to be a secret. But an even bigger surprise hit us both. The fussy baby sneezed and vomited, spewing thick mucousy snot from his mouth and nose.

“Oh!” Raj cawed like a straight up dude, holding the kid in the air.

Quickly, I grabbed the dangling baby, already covered in his slime.

“Hey,” I whispered in his ear while handing little Rickey back to his parents, “that may get out.”

Raj glanced at me for a few seconds as though thinking of the prospect.

Then he shrugged. “It is what it is. C’mon.” He grabbed my hand. “We need to shower this goo off of us.”

I laughed. We gave our goodbyes to the family and traveled a few steps where Danny G had been watching us the whole time. Well, watching his client, Ragee. Raj dried as much as he could off with a towel before going for his man pouch for his phone—which I found interesting—and tapped on it as we took off for our bungalow.

“Everything okay?” I asked, wiping down my arms and chest as we walked the sparsely populated beach.

“Yeah,” Raj answered without looking at me. “Jashon hit me up, saying Pastor McKinnon wants to come back tonight.”

“Oh, cool! You’re okay with that?”

“Yeah,” he spoke as he tapped away. “I ain’t think she was gonna come back. She’s never stayed this long. I’m good with it.”

“Me, too.”

Raj peered down on me and smiled appreciatively. That widened my own beam.