~18~

“Whew!” I sat back in the chair with a full belly.

“You hardly ate anything.” I heard the scolding in his observation from across the small white linen table.

“I had a lot of fish. That shit was huge!” My eyes went wild.

His narrowed. “You really need to curb that.”

“What?” I grinned, bringing my arms underneath the table.

“You know what.” Raj glanced over his shoulder to the piano.

He’d been eyeing the thing all night. The restaurant was mostly empty, only four other couples here since we arrived. The food was delicious. Raj ordered us the same dish: Chilean sea bass in lemon caper sauce, wild mushroom risotto, and crispy string beans. Though the texture didn’t quite agree with me, I nibbled on the risotto, ate all the vegetables, and most of the fish. The restaurant was romantic, carpeted floors in the dining area, small candle-lit tables, and low lighting. Slow music flowed overhead, covering the sound of the ocean.

“I need to leave room to move my waist.” I batted my lashes at him.

He smirked. “Is that all I’m good for?”

“No. You’re a good pillow, too.”

Raj snorted. I smiled, but was horny as hell. I couldn’t wait to get back to the bungalow and have him all over me. I’d been craving him behind me since we woke up this morning.

A guy in a suit jacket and tie approached our table. He offered me a polite bow before whispering in Raj’s ear. Raj nodded as he wiped his mouth then tossed his napkin on the table.

When the man sauntered off, Raj leaned into the table and his brows furrowed, but his eyes were kind. “You mind if I embarrass you for a few minutes?”

My face opened and I scoffed, “Go right on ahead and try.”

He smiled handsomely as he rose from the table. Somewhat unexpectedly, he went straight to the piano. I didn’t exactly think that would be the tool he’d use to embarrass me. Raj sat on the bench of a baby grand piano, one smaller than his at home, and adjusted the microphone. His fingertips brushed a few keys before he spoke.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.” He cleared his voice, continuing with a tune. No one spoke, but I sat up, resting my elbows on the table and two other couples in my line of sight seemed to have cut their conversations. “I go by the name of Sugar Keys.” He swiped down the keyboard fluidly. “I’m not the hired entertainer for the night, but I’ve…” He tapped the large clear vase on top of the piano. “…never turned down a tip.” The room laughed. “Anyway.” He smiled with full on charm and I shuffled in my seat to get more comfortable over the table. “I’m up here to acknowledge a very special occasion. No, it’s not my honeymoon. Not my anniversary or anything like that. It’s a missed birthday.”

He played the suspense sound effect, and along with me, the few others in the room fell into laughter.

“Yup. I committed the common but biggest no-no for a newlywed man. So,” He went into an unfamiliar soft flow. “…in a pathetic effort to redeem myself, I’ll attempt to share how grateful I am—and the world should be—for a special event in nineteen eighty-nine. Take this journey with me, y’all.”

His fingers stroked the keys and after a few seconds, I realized Raj was working himself into a song. Because it was only a piano playing, it took until he began singing the first few lines to recognize the song. He began with Regina Belle’s “Baby Come to Me.” My eyes rolled back as they closed. He had no idea how striking this piece was to my emotions. Raj’s agile chords sang at a note appropriate for a man. My mother loved Regina Belle. This song served familiar very early on in my mind. My mother would play her whole album over and over for years. I remember being three or four and seeing her sing it in the mirror with a brush in her hand. My grandfather told me, he was able to score her tickets to see Regina, months after my mother gave birth to me. He said she thanked him for months after.

My lids parted when Raj changed the tempo before finishing the song. Seamlessly, he went into “In the Heat of the Moment” by After 7. This song always made me want to dance. My grandmother was a huge After 7 fan, probably crushing on them. She’d sing along when this came on the radio as we cruised the streets in her car. My shoulders swayed left to right as I remembered my maternal grandmother with sweet thoughts.

Next came a Patti LaBelle track, “If You Asked Me To.” Raj’s immense talent was able to slow it down to compensate for the lack of instrumentation on hand. The small crowd clapped to his set rhythm. My face began to ache from the smile he plastered on it. Smoothly, he transitioned into a number called “If You Don’t Know Me by Now.” In between the chorus, Raj mentioned some white guy coming after Teddy Pendergrass with a rendition, and suddenly I understood why his vocal dropped thick and rich with this one. Damn, Ragee could sing his ass off! Teddy Pendergrass always reminded me of my father—my real dad. He was a huge Teddy P fan. Said it was “real” music. I also realized Teddy’s vocal register was Ragee’s natural one.

As he played, clearly going into another song, he asked, “Y’all may not remember the name, but hopefully you’ll recognized Chuckii Booker’s “Turned Away.” And as he moved from the verse to the chorus, I leaped in my seat, recalling the number myself. I snapped my fingers and swung my arms in the air. Raj was a natural up there. I forgot he played several instruments. He seemed so comfortable and in his element, a far cry from the recluse major star I’d known of him.

Alyson Williams’ “Just Call My Name” almost brought tears to my eyes. The song would make me sad for some odd reason when my mother jammed to it. This whole impromptu show almost cut on the waterworks for me and would have, if I were a crier. But I wasn’t. I hadn’t cried since sitting at my grandfather’s death bed and saying goodbye. But this brought back memories of my mother, too. She’d light up when this video would come on. One older white couple was up and slow dancing to this. The other couple was out of their seats, too, holding hands while swaying much like I’d been doing. 

When Raj was well into Lisa Stanfield’s “Been Around the World” I sang along with him. Now that was MaMa’s shit with her mean ass. She loved this cut by Lisa Stanfield but was the biggest Anita Baker fan. She still had all her albums in record, disco tape, and CD format. I’d been gifting them to her for years without a simple thank you. She played some and displayed them all at the house.

But when, out of nowhere, Raj began singing and playing the old school classic, “Partyman” by Prince, I jumped to my feet and became a part of his show. I shook my ass near the piano and invited the older woman up with me, and she obliged. Not too long after, all the women were up there, shaking our rumps for my talented husband. I laughed senselessly and it felt incredible.

“I think I’ve done enough to at least show you guys how blessed the year nineteen eighty-nine was musically. Hopefully, I can spend the night convincing my lady how good the year was to me personally when she made her introduction to the world.”

I grabbed my chest, coincidentally feeling my heart thunder at his sweet words. Geez, how much of sweet, considerate, and romantic Ragee could a girl from Garfield, New Jersey take?

The small crowd hooted when Raj went into Tina Marie’s “Ooh La La La.” Apparently, this one came out the year before I was born, but it resembled his feelings for me…and her work was timeless. That man! His talent was endless. He hit each note of it on his own terms and killed it. The way he rocked at the piano, his head pushed back, eyes squeezed closed and shoulders bobbing turned me on. So bad I wanted a “Pretty Woman” moment and let my husband fuck me right there on the baby grand. But tonight, another part of me—a tender part of me—wanted to hold him. To know all the talents embodied in this one human could be held in my arms.

When Raj was done, the whole room, including the staff that seemed to have tripled in size since we arrived, were on their feet whistling and hooting. He bowed as he rose from the piano. Then his sheepish eyes landed on me, and I swear my heart swelled to the point of my breath catching in my chest. I waved him over to me, needing to be near him, subdued by the light that clearly followed the man. In that moment, I recognized the anointing his grandmother swore was over him. I had no idea what the definition was, per se. But I could feel it similar to how I did when I saw him in Detroit, only then I was too self-guarded to be totally affected by it.

Raj approached me and pulled out a rather large and flat turquoise Tiffany box from the inside of his blazer—as this was a mandatory jacket dress code restaurant. Slowly, he removed the lid and revealed a delicate necklace with a teardrop diamond pendant. It was simple, classic, and dainty. With wide eyes and an open mouth, I peered up and caught the blank expression on his face. That’s when I noticed his hand trembling. People were gathering around us.

I sucked in a breath. “You weren’t this nervous when you gave me my wedding rings.”

I tried, but failed at laughing. Clearly those around, who ooh’ed and ahhh’ed felt differently as they chuckled.

Raj gently removed the necklace from the box and turned me to place it around my neck.

“That’s because I didn’t pick those out,” he whispered in my ear as he clasped the piece at the back of my neck. “This is the first romantic gift I’ve given a woman in my life.”

My hand went to the diamond pendant and I squeezed it. It was beautiful, fit nicely. I turned in his arms, lifted to my toes, and kissed Raj tenderly, deciding not to be raunchy…yet. I hugged him tightly around his neck.

“This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.” I choked back on a tear. I could feel him nod his acknowledgement of that.

When I pulled back, Raj took me by the hand and we headed out of the now spirited restaurant. I could only imagine trying to get out of there if it had been a full house. 

The ocean cries could be heard once we were outside. My heart wouldn’t slow. I felt silly for the giddiness flowing in me.

“You played hits from the year I was born? You were a sure shot for the night anyway, my dude.”

“Huhn?” Raj’s eyes cast down on me.

“I was going to give you the good-good anyway. It was guaranteed from the moment you awakened and decided not to send my nasty ass back to Jersey for last night.”

His head tossed back and he hooted a laugh as we ambled down the beach toward the bungalows.

“You asked them to do this in advance?” I asked, intoxicated with joy.

“Yeah.”

“Is that why you left LeRoy and me last night?”

“Yup. To do that and ask that they clear the restaurant for only a few other people so I could at least please somebody in the room while I put myself out there.”

I gasped and slapped his arm. “You didn’t think I would’ve been pleased? Are you kidding me? You forget you’re Ragee?” I couldn’t believe him, but I did. Raj’s usual charming smile was not at play here. “You remember what you do for a living?” I grinned with wild eyes.

“Apparently, just being Ragee ain’t enough to impress you. ‘Wasn’t nobody checking for no Ragee!’” he declared in a feminine mocking tone. “‘Memba that?”

“Oh, baby!” I whined with a broken heart because mine felt wounded. His talent was a big deal. He did impress me…now that I paid attention. I threw myself in front of him as we walked. “Don’t do that. I’m really sorry about saying that.”

He grabbed me at the arms, slamming me into his chest. His lips brushed against mine. “Don’t sweat it. I deserved that and more. I was mean to you, too. Tonight, I wanna be good to you.”

I moaned as his tongue slipped in my mouth, swirling and lashing smoothly around mine. “You will. I swear it.”

His tongue slithered sinuously in my mouth. His lips sweet and plump like a peach, I could suck on them all day. But Raj wouldn’t allow it. This was his turn at seduction. He swiped it against the roof of my mouth, traced the line of my shaking lips. His weight on me was demanding, aggressive, and deliciously caging. I loved his aggression, loved him taking the lead. But I needed him inside me. I wanted his thickness rubbing against my swollenness below. I was ready for bruising from the Apa tomorrow. The ache I now craved.

“Raj,” I begged on a moan.

“Shhhhhhh,” he urged against my lips. “Give me a minute.”

I panted and mewled like a pained cat. He was torturing me. Taking things slow wasn’t something I was good at, especially when being with a man this hot, so incredibly sexy. I could live on his body to fuck, suck, eat from, and rest on.

We’d gotten in from the restaurant, engaged in kissing and heavy petting in the shower where we washed each other. Explored one another, probed pressure points. We dried off and immediately I was tossed on the bed. I thought that was odd. We’d never done it on the bed.

This should be fun…

His busy mouth left mine and grazed my chin with his teeth then his tongue rolled down my pulsing neck. He scraped his teeth there, teasing me, making my body tense and legs leap from the mattress. When he made it to my chest, my hands were at the back of his head and roved up to his small kinky twists. I moaned, my head rolling to the side. He kissed my nipple, traced it with his finger before sucking on it. My pelvis thrust in the air, grinding on his chest. He paid the same seductive treatment to my left breast, his calloused fingertips gently brushing the sides of them.

My belly began to contract and vibrate, I was so ready for him.

“Raj, please!” I begged. “Let me—”

“I wanna eat ya pussy,” dripped innocuously from those sea-deep chords.

My entire body steeled beneath him.

With eyes as big as saucers and a mouth hanging agape, I whispered, “I know. You told me.” I swallowed hard. “But I’m not rushing you.”

“Now.” There was a vibration in that one syllable. “I wanna do it now.”

“Okay…”

Raj lifted a margin, pulling my thighs apart and making room for his thick frame. He grabbed my arm, bringing my hand down, between my legs. Then he arranged my fingers between my slickened folds.

“Tell me how to please you,” he droned hoarsely as though turned on by the prospect alone. He took my middle finger and brushed it across my clit, causing my belly to contract again. “Navigate for me.”

I thought for a minute, excitement blooming in my chest more and more by the second. Quickly, I scooted up the mattress until my back was to the pillows stacked against the headboard. I opened my thighs wide and waved him to me with my index finger. Raj wasted no time crawling up to me. He positioned himself center and so close, his cool breath hit my hot, soaked pussy. My head fell, eyes rolled back, and I moaned. When I felt his lips against me and heard him kiss me tenderly, I knew I had to get my head in the game.

 My fingers brushed against his soft lips. His tongue darted and swiped the first two. I rolled them around my clit and Raj followed my movements studiously. Then we shifted further out to my labia and he lapped there with good pressure, so good I brought my fingers higher where he followed. His tongue felt like magic as I had him teasing me, swelling my clit even more. Everywhere my fingers glided, his tongue and sometimes lips followed. Then I pushed two fingers inside of me and rolled them as I bit my lip. When they left, his tongue replaced them and dipped inside, mimicking acts of his cock. I moaned softly, pushing my sex in his face. His tongue reached deep and moved fast. It made me question his expressed lack of experience. Raj’s pressure was on point.

As he explored my cave, my other hand busied with my right breast, strumming my nipple. Raj’s eyes opened for a flash and his right hand pushed up and massaged my left breast before moving up to my taut nipple. I was panting, sweating, and couldn’t keep still. It was time.

My fingers tapped his thick tongue thrusting inside of me to get his attention, and I watched as it pulled out of me. Raj stopped, eyes opened wide to focus on me. I moved them to the nucleus of my pleasure, pushing on my clit, opening for him. So excited, Raj sucked in a breath, licked his sodden lips and swiped his tongue over it.

“Harder,” I moaned, needing more weight of his tongue to make it to my peak.

Obediently, and with precise measure, Raj’s tongue widened over me and pressed into my pleasure button, lashing and licking. His tongue… Oh, gosh! It was built for pleasure and seduction. Its agility felt masterful. Why did he not think he could do this?

What the hell did LeRoy know?

My husband was pleasuring me with his mouth in the most intimate way. I knew I wouldn’t last long. My hand strummed my nipple. Raj’s other hand wonderfully handled the other. His touch everywhere stimulated me beyond capacity. My pelvis thrust against his movements, quickening them. I worked with him, feeling my groin lift. My moans grew more urgent and my movements were the same. I fell into delirium, mind whirling in heightened sensitivity.

And holy fuck…

When he groaned tortured-like, as sick as it was, it pushed me over the edge and I imploded. My hand snatched from my breast and flew to the back of his head, pulling him to me as to control the pleasure. Raj’s hands moved to my hips, feeding me to him. My groin rolled and rolled, hips lifted and pushed, fingers yanked his hairs until it felt like I emptied myself inside of his mouth.

My ass collapsed onto the bed as my heart pounded. Ragee ripped his face from my throbbing pussy and he threw himself on the mattress next to me, rolling away as though he’d just climaxed, too. I lay there, trying to breathe. Trying to clear my cloudy white eyesight. If that wasn’t fucking exotic, I didn’t know what was.

Now, if I could just come down from this, I can tell him…

“Why the fuck you scared?” she yells from over my head.

I can’t believe I’m here. We can’t do this. She got me doing some ill shit, but this is too much. I shake my head. My mouth is dry and my heart is beating so hard.

“Damn, Gee-Gee. Just lick it. It ain’t that hard to do!”

Her spotty skinny legs around my shoulders move as she yells. But I’m lost staring at it, wanting to get it over with so I can get back to sleep. It don’t smell right. Inside looks a weird pink color and some cloudy stuff is coming out the hole. It stinks. Ain’t none of the girls I know smelling like this. She always smell like this; burnt plastic. A sweet burning plastic smell. It’s weird. But I can usually ignore it. Not this time. She wants me to put my mouth on that.

My stomach feels funny now. Like something’s coming up. Oh, God, I’mma puke!

“Boy, hurry the fuck up! I need you,” she whines. “I’ll do you when you finish with me. I’mma make you feel real good.”

I shake my head, trying to breathe. Then my face is pushed into it.

“Do it, boy before ya sissy-boyfriend come in again.” I hear muffled. “Go, or I’m telling.”

I can’t breathe and try to move my head up. She got me with both hands though. Tears spill from my squeezed eyes as I’m trying to fight her. I don’t know how long we fight, but now the smell is all over my face, in my mouth. She talking, moaning, and I’m grabbing the blanket in my hands. My head’s hurting from her tight grip.

Times like this I wish my moms was still here. She would fight her. She wouldn’t never started this nasty stuff.

And it’s taking too long. I’m gonna throw up. It stinks and she’s way too nasty and rough. I need to hold out, though. I know how to do that now. Maybe somebody’ll come down like before. I just want it to stop.

It’s gonna have to.

Using all my might, I push up from my hands and break free. I make it to the edge of the bed before I throw up.

“You stupid, retarded motherfucker! I bet you don’t do that to them pissy-tail lil girls.” I don’t stop throwing up when I feel a whack on my back. “I ain’t even get off. You so fuckin’ weak. Can’t even please a real woman.” My head feels like it’s spinning and I’m choking and throwing up at the same time. I can’t breathe. “Maybe you should be sucking on a cock like your gay ass lil sissy friend!”

Feeling her hitting me on the back and head while I’m choking, I panic. Oh, God, I’mma die!

Maybe that’ll be a good thing. Maybe that’s how I’ll see my moms again. Things fade for me. My body goes loose, and as I see a cloud of blackness coming, I wait for it. I hope it takes me and never lets me come back here to this bed.

I woke up with a throbbing ache between my legs. The light beaconing from the post outside exposed the curve in his thick shoulder. I felt feverish with desire. We never finished. I never got Raj off after my cataclysmic orgasm. I, uncharacteristically, fell into a fast and restful sleep and apparently, he eventually did, too. We were due to leave today and I didn’t want to without having him again before we left this magical place.

Raj was on his side with his back to me. My hand brushed down his globular shoulder and onto his chest.

“Baby, wake up,” I whispered, pushing my hand lower. A devious smirk lifted on my face. “I need you. Let me make you feel good this time.”  

I pulled my arm over his so my hand could catch the muscled lump of the side of his waist. My hand slowly moved down over the silky patch of his pubic hairs until I found his resting dick. I gathered it in my hand, edging closer to him, prepared to wake him up in the best—

The sudden movement didn’t register right away. But the ache in my wrist from his nasty grip and pushing of my arm away from him caught my brain up.

“DON’T FUCKIN’ TOUCH—”

Ragee lunged from the bed with incredible athleticism, tossing me from him as he did it. I shuffled up the bed, curled defensively into a ball, pulling the sheet to cover my nudity. He turned to the bed, muscles flexing, and expanded chest heaving with the intimidating posture of a superhero, or more appropriately a powerful villain. He was a sight: sweating out of nowhere, out of breath, and with eyes flashing from terror. It shrunk me. Frightened me. Why would Raj think I’d hurt him? How could I hurt him in a way he thought posturing himself like that would protect him?

On the verge of tears and with a lump the size of a golf ball in my throat, I asked, “What the entire fuck, Ragee?”

Slowly, through the stream of light from outside, I could see the violence in his darkened orbs receding. His eyes circled around as though he was coming down from whatever threatening place he thought he’d awakened to. His shoulders gradually lowered and his fists flattened at his sides.

“Raj!” I demanded.

I’d seen this before. Had experienced a man in the full throes of raging violence and toward me. The only difference was there were armed guards around each time to intervene before anything escalated. Here there were just two harmless souls, making the best of their curated circumstances. It was me. Just me. And there was Raj, one of the most romantic and sensitive men I’ve yet to know.

“Talk to me!”

He blinked a few times, his body totally relaxing before my eyes. It was almost as if he’d shrunk one size. He roughly scraped his palms down his face and yanked his beard as though to punish himself for this.

I eased in posture, too, moving an inch to plead with him. “Please,” my tone now softer. “Talk to me. I swear, whatever it is will stay between you and me. I’ll take it to my grave. I just need to know if I can help.”

“Help?” he barked with cynicism.

I nodded, hoping to convince him—admitting to myself I’d ignored all the signs. They were all there! Each red flag he raised, I willfully turned a blind eye to.

“I know post-trauma, Raj. I’ve had my fair share of experience with tortured souls.” He scoffed his denial. “I mean… Look at us!” I gestured to our naked bodies. What began last night with uncharted passion faded away and here in the dawn of the morning was haunted torment. “I have every right to know. We share a bed,” I reminded him through gritted teeth.

He would not shut down on me. Not on this.

Slowly, Raj changed positions to rest on one hip. His hand went to his tailored waist and his neck collapsed, causing his head to fall back as he exhaled deeply. Then he approached the bed again and sat with his back to me. I didn’t move to touch him, though I wanted to cover him in love, compassion, and understanding without an ounce of judgment. I could do that for him. I wanted to be that for Ragee.

It seemed his heaving began all over again, broadening his back framed in flexing muscles. With one hand, he held his face, his posture afflicted.

“I—I… Uhhhhh…” I could hear him swallow. “I’ve been having nightmares again. Something I thought I was cured of…a few years ago.”

“How?”

“Intense therapy with a…sharp professional.”

My brows met. “And they’re back now?” He nodded. “You know the trigger…” I stated rather than asked. Raj nodded again. “Me.” I swallowed back the pain of what I was admitting to. “Being sexually involved with a woman has brought them back.” My face fell.

Damn, that hurt…

“Nah,” I heard and peered up. “Being intimate with a woman and sharing a room and bed with her did.” He paused for a spell. “I’ve had sex with women.”

Oh…

One brow hiked curiously. “Only women?”

“Only women,” he affirmed unequivocally.

“Then who hurt you?”

Raj shook his head, wordlessly. I waited on bated breath, desperate to know what haunted him.

“I was molested by my aunt for years as a kid.”

Bile rose from my belly and my head swished with nausea. Thank God his back was to me. My breathing, though, turned shallow and choppy. I had to get myself together. I had to be here in the moment with him.

“Which aunt?” too much excitement laced my voice.

He shook his head again. “That’s not important.”

“I don’t want to be passing her gravy at a holiday dinner. I want to beat the shit out of her then make her eat it,” I swore with so much passion, I could hardly speak it.

“She’s no longer a concern. Dead.”

“But she still haunts you. The nightmares,” I reminded him.

“They’re triggered by…”

“What?” I demanded, needing to know.

“Doing things in the bed.”

“Especially your personal beds in Sparta and Jersey City,” I whispered my revelations. We’d never had sex in those beds. When I tried to the first time, he went soft on me. “That’s why you fought to enjoy the first time I went down on you. We were in what should be a comfortable, protective zone to you: your bed.”

How could I not have seen this?

“I’ve never…” He cleared his throat. “Wynter, I’ve never made love to a woman before. I have the chicks I go to when I need to get off, but it’s never…domestic. I don’t bring them to my bed.” I nodded, though he couldn’t see me. “This is one of the biggest reasons I hated getting in this shit. Mike knows I don’t…” He shook his head. “I need my privacy and distance.”

My heart ripped in my chest. “Do you want your privacy back? I can—”

Raj jumped to his feet, crossed the room for his lounge pants. “Right now, I need some distance.”

And seconds later, he left the bungalow in the darkness of the early morning.

I sat down on the cool leather chair in the cabin, ready to get back home. A new magazine cover caught my eye and as I reached for it, I could see Wynter settling in her seat from my periphery. I yanked it open and thumbed through it. The sounds underneath the plane told me our luggage was being loaded, and soon we’d be lifting off. I couldn’t wait. I was tired. Drained after the early morning I had.

I blindly scanned the pages of the magazine. Ignoring someone was hard when you couldn’t shut them out. I was the king of shutting my brain down to an environment I had to struggle through physically, needing an escape from mentally. I wanted to run, but the further away I got, the more I knew how much I’d be leaving out. With my chin to my chest, my eyes lifted across the cabin and I saw her swipe her hair over her ears as she looked at her iPad. I wanted to know what her eyes saw, what her heart felt, and what her mind screamed about me. Did she want to shut me out, too?

After I left our bungalow this morning, I stayed out until it was time to pack for our flight. I showered, dressed, and was carrying my luggage and hers down the pier to the resort’s main house. I didn’t call for the concierge to do it. Didn’t call Danny G to either. I was ready to go. Wynter trailed behind me quietly the whole time.

Jesus…

I wanted to call Ezra. Needed to have him help me sort this shit out. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t call my friend about the bullshit I’d gotten myself into being selfish and manipulative. Plus, the first thing I needed to do was apologize for running from him, hurting him. And I wouldn’t do that because it would be admitting that I’d hurt him, and I’d never hurt someone who meant as much to me as he did. I was wrong when I said Wynter was the first new person I’d been able to trust since I was a kid. She had been the second.

“Yo, you gotta minute?” I glanced up over my fitted brim. Danny G asked the moment he stepped on the jet. “Lemme rap to you for a minute.” He started to the back.

After tossing the magazine, I got up and followed him all the way to the back, near the bathroom.

“Yo, ya boy wildin’ the fuck out again.”

“What you mean?” I asked.

Danny G pulled his phone from his pocket. “This.”

He hit play and at first a loud deathly scream came through. It was female. Then I heard scrambling on a floor. That’s when the image cleared to the living room of a house. Kids were screaming, crying, and running for cover. One man begged for his life as he was being tied up on the floor. Across from them was a dude in all black, holding an Uzi to the screaming woman’s head.”

“You recognize her, right?” Danny G’s voice was more animated than I was used to.

I shook my head no, because I didn’t.

“That’s Sophia, True Blue’s second baby’s mother.”

I tensed, forehead shot up as I watched the camera move to a third dude with all black, trashing the house, yelling at an elderly woman who it seemed had been pushed on the floor and kids who wrapped themselves around an available adult.

“Shut her the fuck up!” the dude recording it all, demanded and turned the camera to Sophia.

The one over her with the Uzi rammed the butt of it in her mouth. Blood skeeted all over and she passed out, knocking her head on the wall behind her. The old man squealed after being tied up and now gagged, since the camera had left him.

“Now, you tell ya peoples, True Blue, he need to respect the game. His arms ain’t fast enough and his money ain’t long enough to play the beefin’ game.”

Then the old Hispanic man was slapped with a gun by the guy who tied him up.

The video froze, ending after that. My head went back as I took a long breath.

“Fuck!” I croaked, keeping my voice low.

“Yeah,” Danny G nodded. “And you caught that fuckin’ Brooklyn Nets cap, right?”

I didn’t answer, but he knew I recognized Will, Mike Brown’s stupid ass security. I nodded, blinking as my mind ran with all this had meant. Mike had been laying low on True’s threats—it seemed. He played the silent game, knowing he’d been plotting to retaliate all this time.

This meant war.

The captain called for takeoff on the overhead and I handed Danny G back his phone before we took our seats.

We pulled up to the back of the house on the golf cart. I grabbed our luggage and Wynter fell into step behind me, quietly. We hadn’t shared two words since four this morning when I ran out on her like a little kid. Sometimes, emotionally, that’s how I felt around her. I tried figuring out why I was so comfortable doing that on the close to four hour trip home. We past a few staff members, including Travis, one of my grounds guys who hopped in the cart to returned it to the garage.

I opened one set of the French patio doors for her. After Wynter glided through, I followed. Before we could make it down the hall to the stairs, my grandmother and Earl walked out from the kitchen.

“Welcome back, Mr. and Mrs. McKinnon,” Earl greeted professionally, which wasn’t his style.

I nodded and Wynter responded in her feminine soprano tone, “Hi.” She bowed at the neck. “Thank you.”

Grandmother smiled as she approached Wynter for a hug. “Welcome home, daughter.”

“Thank you, Grandmother McKinnon.” Sincerity carried in her voice, making me wonder if Wynter was as cool with seeing my grandmother as I was—unusually.

“God bless you, baby,” my grandmother whispered, as though in prayer.

“Anything I can get for the man and/or first lady of the house before I retire for the evening?” Earl asked, his hands clasped together, shoulders stretched, and spine straight.

Yeah… He was uncomfortable. He never queened in front of Pastor McKinnon. I almost busted out laughing at him, if it wasn’t for the pain growing at the back of my head. And I was hella tired, even though I wanted nothing more than to jump in the studio and polish a few tracks.

“Nah. I’m good,” I answered.

“Why are you taking off?” Wynter asked Earl.

“Pastor McKinnon has requested the kitchen. I finished up early in there to give her, her space.” He smiled tightly.

“Oh,” Wynter chirped.

“You’re cooking?” I asked.

My grandmother giggled, lifting her thick shoulders. “Well…” she hummed, “the Spirit of the Lord told me to start some chicken soup. I have no idea why. It’s gonna take a day to finish, but I’m gonna be obedient to His heeding.” She flashed her palms to shrug.

Earl, behind her, walked away rolling his eyes.

My grandmother didn’t even notice. “Well,” she sighed sweetly, also using her false soprano. “We gone let you two get settled in. I was praying all night for a safe return. If it’s God’s will, I’ll see you for dinner. If not, I know ya resting.” Then she turned and made her way back in the kitchen.

Without a word, Wynter headed toward the stairs. A sharp pain ran through my chest that was louder than the one growing in my skull.

Ughhh…

I damn sure didn’t feel up to it, but alas, I was out here, running the track around the basketball and tennis courts. I woke up groggy, brain felt mushy, but I pushed through, seeing I hadn’t worked out since the hotel’s gym in Minnesota. My limbs were tight, thighs weightier, and stride slower as I circled around. Each time a foot dropped, it felt to have plopped on the padded pavement instead of pounced. My belly felt airy and light, which couldn’t be good.

“Ohhhhh!” I cried into the thick, cold air as I drew to a stop.

My body felt twenty pounds heavier, though I wasn’t. According the scale this morning, I’d lost another pound while away. Something was off and that quickly had me wanting to get back in bed as I headed back to the house, sweaty, throbbing, and panting like crazy. My plan of visiting Arnie and sharing with him our pictures from Saint Justin, knowing he wouldn’t spill a word of our secret rendezvous getaway, were officially derailed.

But now…

My head pulsated with a faint ache as I limped up the stairs of the massive back patio. When I made it into the house, the heavy smell of food and stream of music floating from the kitchen caught my attention. I plodded toward the right of the massive hall, nearing there. I peeked my head in and caught a jolting sight. As music played from a speaker on the counter where there was an array of fresh diced vegetables, the jarring act was Pastor McKinnon dancing in place with her head flinging backwards and forwards as she declared words of praise. I didn’t think I’d ever seen a person church-shouting. At least, that’s what I thought was the name of it.

Too exhausted to even deal with it, I decided to continue upstairs. I slugged my way to the master suite, out of breath before I climbed the last step. I was surprised to see Raj stretched out in the bed after closing the doors. As I approached, I could see he was knocked out on his back. This was strange. We returned yesterday and I didn’t see much of him. He was out of bed this morning before me and apparently had returned in the same fashion.

Again, I was too drained to try to figure that one out. I travelled to the walk-in closet and stripped of the heavy clothes, at least that’s how they felt. I crossed the room stark naked and shivering, determined to wash the sweat from my body before slipping back in bed. Feet away from the bathroom door, something propelled my attention toward the bed. Raj’s auburn eyes, strained and red stopped me in my tracks. Quickly, I continued my stride, remembering his stance to shut me out.

After managing a quick shower, I was able to toss on a gown. By the time I made it to my side of the bed, my head was full on aching. Raj had rolled to the other side. His back was to me and based on his heavy breathing, he was out again. It didn’t take long for me to follow suit.