After my appointment with my chiropractor, I drive up to the Jasper Ridge lab. For the entire time I’m driving, last evening with Brody flashes through my mind. It’s all skin, touching, and sensations. But mostly what I feel is the sense of falling. The thing is, I don’t know what I’m falling into. It’s way too early to be love. Years ago I thought I was in love with Dale. Obviously, that didn’t work out. Then Christian: brief, lust, and hot, like fireworks. We soared up to the sky, exploded, and then it was over. I’m not looking to repeat past relationships, I’m hoping for something better. When I close my eyes to dream, what am I hoping for? I try to finish that thought. All I can come up with is that I want to fall into something good.

While I walk into the lab I find myself snickering.Just another glamorous day of analyzing cat poop for toxins. I don my lab coat, sit down at my bench, pull out my phone, and take a selfie. I send it to Brody.

Ana:Glamorously testing cat poop.

Mere seconds after pressing the send icon, I start questioning myself.Is it too soon for me to be sending him pictures? Will it make me look needy? Damn, I want to be in the place in our relationship where I don’t have to spend so much time second-guessing everything. Before these thoughts take hold, my phone beeps. It’s a selfie of Brody. It looks like he is standing in the hall of an office building.

Brody:Glamorously heading to my next meeting.

Now I feel emboldened and I think about dinner. It was excruciatingly uncomfortable. Even though his sister hates me, he did introduce me to her. This must be a sign that he wants to be with me. Should I tell him what his sister said or should I let it drop? I think we’re too early for this conversation. Let’s just hope Brody and I turn into more than what I had with Christian.

My gaze turns back to my phone and the picture of Brody. I’ve never asked him what he does at ClosedDoor. I just figured he was an engineer. But he dresses too nice, travels, goes to a lot of meetings and is always texting. Since he drives a fancy car and likes to eat in expensive restaurants I bet he’s in sales. Funny, I never thought I’d be dating a sales guy. Those guys tend to be flashy, they’re not the kind of guys who choose an outdoorsy woman like me.

Focus, Ana! I check to see if any of the lab results I ordered has come in yet. My heart jumps. The preliminary tests are back. The contents of my cat’s stomach and her blood test are both included. I scan the reports and find a number of potential smoking guns. There’s a long list of chemicals in her system that are higher than normal, and a few chemicals that are off the charts. With this list of toxins, I have to look up each compound’s name in the Merck Index. Damn, it’s like thewho’s who of first-gen rodenticides. I better confirm my findings with a chemist.

Ana:When are you free for lunch or coffee? I have a poisoned animal and a list of toxins. Can you review?

Rachel:E-mail me your list. I need to get out of my lab. Meet you at Tootsies 11:45.

Cool! I wasn’t expecting her to be free today.

***

I pull into the parking lot and spot Rachel walking down the street. We hug.

“It’s been too long. We’ve got to remember to meet when we don’t need help with work,” she exclaims.

“One of these days I’ll pull my social life together.”

We walk into the casual café, Rachel raises two fingers so the hostess can see we need a table for two. “At our age, if we haven’t pulled our social life together, it will never happen,” she quips.

I must have given her a horrified look.

“It’s not just you,” she reassures me. “With two kids in pre-school, I’m barely treading water.”

“Are they being dicks at work?”

“Always. Don’t get me wrong. I love what I do, but my boss doesn’t get it. I love my kids more. My day consists of prioritizing and managing my time. You don’t know how easy you have it. My kids after-school daycare charges five dollars for every minute you show up past six.”

“How often are you late?”

“With what they charge for daycare, I can’t afford to be late. But enough of my complaining, my life is exhausting but wonderful. I love being a mom.”

“And what about Jason?”

“I love him too. But it’s hard to remember romantic love when we’re so busy raising kids. When you meet the right guy, make sure he’s a good guy, one who puts family first. Sexy and hot are great when you’re single. But when you have kids, you want to know he’ll be on time when it’s his turn to pick the kids up. Marry a guy who has your back.”

She gives me a long look and raises her eyebrows. She’s too nice of a friend to ask outright if I’m dating. But I know she wants to know what’s going on in my life. Of course, Brody’s toned naked body flashes across my field of vision.

“You’re dating someone. Hallelujah.”

“Oh, come on, I’m not that transparent.”

Rachel waits until we’re done giving our server our order before she starts up from where we left off. “Ana, who have you been with since Dale? Christian? Sorry, that dick doesn’t count.”

“I’ve enjoy being single. It’s a relief not being responsible for someone else.”

“Then don’t choose another man like Dale or Christian.”

“Do you think I keep making the same mistakes with men?”

“Not the same mistakes. But the men you choose are all Peter Pans. Stop choosing men who don’t want to grow up.”

“Is it that? Or they weren’t ready to get serious?”

“And the difference is...?”

“I always thought when a guy meets the right woman, he’ll be ready to settle down.”

“Well, I think it’s the opposite. When a guy is ready to settle down, he meets the right woman.”

“I met a guy.”

“Met or dating?”

“He took me and his sister to Tamarine for dinner last night.”

“Fancy.”

“And he paid.”

“Good, it’s about time you met a guy who didn’t make you go Dutch.”

“I can pay my own way.”

“That’s not the point. If he doesn’t want to wine and dine you, then he doesn’t care. A guy who doesn’t buy you dinner is a guy who doesn’t pick up the kids.”

“What does one have to do with the other?”

“Everything.”

Our server brings over our drinks and sandwiches and I ponder Rachel’s comment. Would Brody be the kind of guy who would race out of work to pick up our kids? This thought is kind of scary since I’ve moved from wondering if I was pushing it by sending him a picture, to thinking about having his children. Then again, I’m almost thirty-six. If I don’t choose to date a man who’ll be a good husband and father, I’ll never become a mom. I flush at the thought of it.

“Are you having hot flashes or…?” Rachel inquires.

“Brody-induced flashbacks.”

“I forgot what it’s like when you’re new. When Jason and I were first together we had sex like rabbits. I’d forgotten about all the fun sex we used to have.”

“You don’t have fun sex anymore?”

“After a full day of work and two little kids, the two of us joke about how the thought of sleeping through the night is better than any orgasm. But it doesn’t sound like you’re sleeping through the night either.”

“We spent last weekend seakayaking in Tamales Bay. The weekend before, we were in the backwoods of the Santa Cruz Mountains hiking, and camping. He was helping me with my work in the field.”

“Camping, hiking, and pays for dinner. Where’d you find this perfect man?”

“We both go to the same chiropractor.”

“Now that’s a new one. I’m glad to see someone is meeting in real life. All the singles I work with are addicted to either Tinder or OK Cupid. Now, what’s with that?”

“I tried online dating, but got depressed with how many dates I had to go on to find the right kind of guy.”

“So, this new guy Brody? Give me the details how old? Divorced?”

“I have no idea.”

“You need to find these things out. But most importantly, does he treat you well? Choose a man who treats you with a respect. If he doesn’t treat you with respect, leave. It’ll never get better.”

“We’re still in the early throes of passion, if you get what I mean.”

“Oh, I get what you mean.”

Since I’m not in the mood to discuss his crazy-ass sister, I figure we’re done with catching up and pull out my iPad.

“Predators are at the top of the food chain. Based on my lion’s labs, I’m thinking these barrels are full of this.” I show her my lion’s tox report.

“Sheesh, this is some nasty stuff.”

“We found a toxic dumpsite in her territory.” I bring up a picture of Brody uncovering the barrels.

“Is this Brody?”

My face feels hot and my smile hurts my cheeks while I nod. Rachel zooms in on the picture.

“Nice-looking guy, good body, looks like he’s in fine shape. No ‘Dad-bod’ for him.”

“No Dad-bod is right.”

“Not that I’m complaining about Dad-bod. I’m not as slim and toned as you. If Jason was all buffed out, it would make me feel inadequate.”

“Don’t fill my brain with insecurities.”

“Has he met your family?”

“We’ve been dating for about a month. Don’t you think that’s way too early? I wouldn’t want to freak the guy out by introducing him to my family too soon.”

“He introduced you to his sister.”

“She was in town on business and forced him to invite me to dinner.”

“But he told her about you and introduced you. That has to be a good sign.”

“How long did it take before you met Jason’s family?”

“About three months.”

“How long did it take for Dale to meet your family?”

“I was living at home. I haven’t really dated since Dale and I broke up. I have no idea what the rules are now.”

“Don’t look at me, I’m an old married lady. Anyways, your preliminary assumptions about the chemicals you gave me look right. Give me some time to review this data. I’ll do a little cross-referencing back at my desk.”

As I head back to the lab I reflect that it’s a relief to finally have a theory as to the cause of my lion’s poisoning, but it is depressing to think of the depth of the mess. As I walk into the lab, I start checking my emails from California Fish and Wildlife, the EPA, and the Regional Water Quality Control Board. Maybe one of these agencies can do something. But, I know how long it will take for them to figure out whose jurisdiction this falls under. Then they’ll need to get a budget approved and perform studies on the extent of the contamination before they can choose a contractor. It will take forever to get the site cleaned up.

Ana:Labs are back, our assumption is rat poison from the 1950s are in the barrels we found. Looks like it got into the food chain.

Brody:How come that news makes me depressed?

Ana:Because success should be a reward.

Brody:This is conclusive. We found what got our lion.

Ana:As far as we know. We think this is the source of the problem, but like so many things, there will never be a definite answer.

Brody:What’s next?

Ana:Other scientists who work with smaller animals, native plants, and land management are now conducting a study to see what else has been impacted.

Brody:What about the dump?

Ana:It's out of my hands. All the agencies are now fighting to figure out who needs to pay for the clean-up. I’m not getting involved in that quagmire.

Brody:Not getting back until past midnight Friday. Hike and camp on Saturday? We never did swim in Loch Lomond.

Ana:That wilderness area is not open to the public.

Brody:One more thing I like about you.

Ana:I’ll pick you up at 6:30 a.m.

Brody:See you.

At dinner, I read over our texts,one more thing I like about you. This makes me smile.