Brody:Landing at 6:30 p.m.
Ana:SFO or SJC?
Brody:SFO, be at your place 7-7:30 p.m.
Ana:I’m meeting my sister in the city for happy hour.
Brody:Take the train. I’ll pick you up and we’ll go out for dinner.
Ana:Text me when you land. I’ll tell you where we are.
Jazz has been blowing up my phone with all of her issues. I wonder if adult daughters call their mothers like this. Mom died when I was twenty-two and Jazz was only fourteen. I’m not even sure what Jazz sees me as. Am I her sister, surrogate mother, therapist, or an easy person to dump on? Regardless, we have this crazy co-dependent relationship and I feel I should support her.
Jazz:We’ll meet someplace good, don’t dress frumpy.
Do I dress frumpy? Then again, I have no idea what the latest trends are, unless they have to do with camping equipment.
Since I’m taking the train, I tell Jazz that we need to meet someplace south of Market Street. Texting her that I’ve arrived, she texts back where she is and has me walk down to the Embarcadero. Not surprisingly, she picked a bar that is very trendy and jam-packed full of people. I don’t think the two of us are meeting here to share quality time.
Before entering, I plaster on a fake smile, and flip my hair to get into the mood. All the people here have this high-tech hipster look to them. I think I’m the oldest person in the place. It doesn’t take long to spot my sister she’s one of those women who does well at bars. There’s a sophisticated flashiness about my sister that makes her stand out. She also doesn’t need to be drunk to have a flirty conversation with some guy.
As soon as she spots me, she extends her arm high and waves. Then she lunges at me and gives me a big hug. I’m wondering who this act is for. Not that she’s unfriendly, but Jazz puts on a show for others. I’m starting to wonder if she’s using the show,Real Housewives as a surrogate mother for lessons. She introduces me to a couple of men. I shake their hands and give them a polite, friendly smile. Jazz gets one of the guys to order me a drink.
The guy hands me the drink as he leans into me. “Are you two twins? I’ve always wanted to do twins.”
Ewww. I look down at my drink and contemplate throwing it in his face. Better judgment takes over. Annoyed, I use the “stupid girl” trick I learned in college for dealing with annoying guys: smile brightly, giggle, flip your hair, and take off. A woman in a bar never wants to piss off a drunk. I grab Jazz by the hand and pull her away from Mr. Ménage à Trois.
“That guy gives me the creeps. Can we move someplace else?”
“He just got a big round of funding.”
“How do you know?”
“Come on, everyone knows. Anyways, a Silicon Valley eight is in reality a three with big funding. When their company hits a homerun, they move from an eight to a ten.”
“That’s a joke, not a lesson.”
“Do you want to spend the rest of life living above someone else’s garage?”
“Jazz, you’re way too old to still be choosing men for the wrong reasons.”
“Drink up Ana, you are turning into a drag,” she replies with a big, fake smile.
I pull out my phone from my pocket and look at the time. Hopefully Brody is landing. What was I thinking when I agreed to meet my sister for happy hour? This is not my scene. If Brody doesn’t get here soon, this is going to turn into very long night.
Mr. Ménage à Trois finds us. “What are you girls gossiping about? If it’s too noisy here, we can go to my place. I live at the Avalon.”
Jazz rewards him with a big smile, which makes me assume that he just dropped a name I should be impressed by. After spending the last month with Brody, who is so low key and confident, I’m repulsed by this guy who needs to show off. With a big, fake smile followed by a hair flip, I remind myself to be polite as I maneuver myself away from him. Luckily, a few of Jazz’s friends join us and they’re actually fun.
My phone buzzes.
Brody:Landed. Where R U?
“Are you going to stay here for at least an hour? I’m trying to coordinate with a friend,” I yell into Jazz’s ear.
“Let’s go two doors down,” one of Jazz’s friends volunteers.
Since our location is now a moving target, I text Brody back.
Ana:Confirm our location before you leave your car.
Thankfully we blow off Mr.Ménage.
As we move to the third bar of the evening, Brody lets me know he’s arrived.
Brody:Parked.
I’m thinking a quick introduction so the two of us can get out of the bar. Just as the hundredth person asks if Jazz and I are twins, I start wondering if men think all you need is the same coloring to look like twins.
Jazz grabs my arm and squeals. “This is my lucky night. I just spotted a whale, or maybe a unicorn. Whichever, watch and learn.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The Holy Grail, a hot rich guy just entered.” Her eyes are on fire as she flips her hair and heads into the crowd.
As I follow her, some random guy grabs my arm and starts hitting on me. Annoyed, I smile brightly, giggle, flip my hair, and take off. Thankfully Brody’s here and we can leave.